NEVER READ A BOOK LIKE THIS

Another collaborative effort between me and my buddy, Shychick from deviantART. We had so much fun with our last song ("Miss Swann") that we decided to do another together. Set to "Never Had a Friend Like Me" from Aladdin.

Original Song © Howard Ashman and Alan Menken

Twilight © Stephenie Meyer (by law, it is)

Lyrics © unicorn-skydancer08 and Shychick

All rights reserved.

Well, Harry Potter had ten billion hits
And Narnia is an endearing tale
But this Twilight thing, man, it's the pits
Can't think of nothing that's made of more fail

There's some real horror in the bookstores, now
So many other great titles forsook
What's all the punch, pizzazz, yahoo about?
See, all ya gotta do is take a look

And you'll say:
"Hey, Mrs. Meyer, ma'am,
What this displeasure be?"
Let her take your money and your brain
You ain't never read a book like this!
No, no, no!

Why bother with this book?
I wouldn't take one if it were free!
Come on, don't whisper, make your voices heard
You ain't never read a book like this!

Yes, sir, we pride ourselves on knowledge
This Twilight, it's all a lie
It ain't so nice
It stinks on ice
It's enough to make old Shakespeare cry

Trust me, just stay away
Or you will be sorry
I'm in the mood
To save you, dude
You ain't never read a book like this!

Can your books do this?
Can your books do that?
Meyer can pull this
Out her little hat
A good read? Yeah, right!
That's what I thought
Meyer just goes: "Abracadabra, let 'er rip!"
And next thing you know, your brain is rot

Bella just stands there, slack-jawed, buggy-eyed
Edward's the sole answer to all her prayers
A big joke, bona fide, certified
A sparkling fairy for her chare d'affaires
I got a powerful urge to help you out
So, what's the deal? I really wanna know!
I got a list that's three miles long, no doubt
Of why this Twilight thing has got to go, oh!

Ladies and gentlemen, a slice of advice from me:
Get out of town, don't turn around
You ain't never read a book, never read a book,
You ain't never read a book, never read a book,
You ain't never—read a—book—like—this!
You ain't never read a book like this!
HAH!