All Good Things…

It's so bland in here, how could Celestia ever- wait, who's there? Yes, I know you're there, don't try to hide, I won't bite…not that I can.

So, if you just waltzed in here without even knowing where here is, let me…enlighten you. If you were to see things how I would see them, well, you would probably turn insane. Alright, alright, just joking!...Not really. But, if you really want to know, I'm in the deepest basement in Canterlot Castle, stuck all the way in the corner behind some boxes, like some old ugly heirloom some kid didn't want to keep but couldn't destroy. But, oh, will the ponies be speaking about me for ages!

And who am I? Why, I'm Discord, the sprit of Chaos, at your service…if your service was, perhaps, needing a statue to stand in your living room. I would say, if would certainly draw the neighbors ey- hey, you upstairs: shut up, I'm trying to tell a story!

…Sorry, but someponies couldn't wait to celebrate the defeat of little ol' me. Of course, knowing pony parties, they're probably just talking and drinking punch. Bor-ing! Let me out, and I'll show you a real party!

…Oh, so you've heard. Can't blame the Ruler of Equestria for trying. Oh, wait, yeah, previous ruler of Equestria. Oh, it was fun as it lasted! The cotton-candy clouds, the dancing buffalo, oh I loved it all! It was worth purposely being trapped in stone for the first time! Oh, you want to hear that story don't you? Well, seeing as I can't move my legs, I'll tell you my tale.

Once, long ago, I ruled Equestria, though, at the time, it wasn't called Equestria, but Discordia. Yeah, rib on the name, but if you were having as much fun as I was, names didn't matter at all! Oh, I still remember the days when I turned mountains upside-down on a whim, change the sun and moon hourly, and make volcanoes erupt! It was so…so…

Boring.

Don't get me wrong, it was fun when it lasted, but soon I got bored of those things. You have to realize, this was a loooooooong time ago, and there wasn't as much inspiration as today's world. Plus, the ponies were getting use to my tricks, and barely responded when I did something big. It was like they had just lost the will to live…

Anywho, back to the big stuff. So, I thought to myself, what's the point of chaos if it's like the natural world order of things? I mean, you have to build something to knock it down, right? So, after hearing about two little Alicorns plans of overthrowing me with these 'Elements of Harmony', I said, why not? If I just ran away and gave up my throne, Celly would never stop hounding me, and the world would never advance! So, in an epic battle, I let my guard down for just a moment for them to strike. And, just like fish, they took the bait! Now, for the first few centuries, it was simply unbearable. But after a while, I found I could move my spirit out of my body, and look at the world around me as it progressed. And I giggled at the ideas they had: Cotton candy, rubber ducks, pie! As I looked at what they made, ideas formed in my head as how to twist it and turn it into my play things!

So, after many eons, the whole 'Nightmare Moon' fiasco happened, and little Miss Princess had to seal her sister in the moon. But, with her sister gone, the Elements no longer worked, and thus, neither did my seal. It took me a little while, but eventually, due to three little fillies on a school trip fighting, they gave me the final push to break free!

And the first thing I did was taking the Elements and moving them. Then, I began messing around with its current holders. I wanted to show Celestia how foolish her Elements were; how they could be twisted to evil. The first one was Applejack, who discovered that honesty wasn't always the best policy, and that to save her friends, she had to lie! Then there was merry Pinkie Pie, who learned that comedy was tragedy happening to another person! Then there was Rarity, who learned the true lesson of Generosity…of one's self. Then...well, I admit that I did loose my temper with Fluttershy, but thinking back on it, the real lesson could have been that you could give wonderful gifts, but other people could turn them into nasty things. Then, finally, there was Rainbow Dash…

Ah, how easy she was. You see, what do you do when you're torn between your friends or your home, the friendship of a few with the lives of many? She made her choice, and with that, our game was done, and Eternal Chaos ruled! Okay, well, only for a little while, but that's beside the point.

With the Elements out of the way, the world was my playground! I turned their perfectly lined out roads to soap, took control of Celestia's and Luna's precious sun and moon, and cracked their sanity, producing amusing results! Yes, I had it all! And when Twilight saw how annoying her friends could be, she lost hope, and the final Element was defeated!

Sigh…though not for long.

I mean, how did I know she could transmit memories to other ponies? In fact, I call foul on that one! Though, being the pure embodiment of Anarchy and Mischief, perhaps one could call it…fair.

And so, when they confronted me, I'm sad to say, but I'm afraid that my cockiness was the ending for me. I could have just transported away, but I was gripped by fear, paralyzed…then petrified.

So, what, you think that after all that, that I'd learned my message and stay low for all eternity. No, for you see…

…I never really lost.

Yes, I am a statue, but think about it: did chaos really go away? No. Just as always, chaos is always here, always present. Order is just a mindset; a form of hypnosis that fools ponies into believing everything can be predictable. Don't believe me? Think about it:

When there were not enough tickets, do the best of friends not begin to fight amongst themselves? Was an Ursa Minor not unleashed on the unsuspecting town of Ponyville by two dimwitted colts? Was Equestria almost destroyed by the bumbling actions of our main heroes? And did the Princess not admit to bringing her pupil and friends JUST so they could mess things up at the most important bash of the year?

You see, these ponies don't really need me. They themselves bring havoc upon the world, and, if I must admit, it's funnier when they do it. They're just ponies, with only a few of them able to twist magic to their wills. So it just shows to prove that I'm right, and that dumbest of horses can unleash unspeakable anarchy!

So, really, don't be sad for me. See what further adventures our little Elements have, and think about what I've said. And, who knows, I could be free in less than a lifetime. These ponies have such short life spans, and, if I'm lucky, the Elements won't be passed down, and I shall rule once more with chocolate rains and exploding pies! But, as they say…

All good things…must come to an end.