Fandom: Lovejoy
Pairing: Lady Jane/Lovejoy, Alexander/OC
Rating: M
warnings for infidelity, language

Summary: Alexander, Viscount Felsham asks Lovejoy to accompany Lady Jane to Charlotte, NC, to join him on a business trip, circa 1992. Hijinks ensue, partially due to traffic on I-77.

A/N: Out of my usual waters, so concrit, feedback, comments, corrections re: Brit-speak all welcome.
Written prior to finding Lovejoy/Alexander slash, so apologies in advance for disturbing anyone's kinder, slashier characterization of Alexander.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Jonathan Gash, author, Ian McShane & Co, creator of "Lovejoy", and quite possibly BBC and/or HRH. Not making a pence on anything.

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They automatically grasped each other's hand as the wheels touched down. Even fortified by a couple of gin and tonics, neither were ready to say they enjoyed this part. The view of Lake Norman had been charming from the air, and the sunset had reflected nicely off the wings, but twinges of anxiety persisted until there was the final full stop.

"Got your documents handy, Janie?"

She sniffed." They'll be ready by the time we disembark and trail down to Immigration. No need
to have them out when we can't even stand up yet."

Lovejoy rolled his eyes. "Well, excuse me for trying to make sure you're prepared. That's what Alex is paying me for, isn't it?"

"Lovejoy! Alex never said…good Lord, he's not payingyou, is he? For shepherding me to the States?"

He grinned, eyes twinkling. "He's paying me with hours and hours of your company, Jane, free and clear, for the most part. And the plane ticket, of course."

Lady Jane felt a faint flush rise to her cheeks. She had spent longer than she cared to think about curled up at her friend's shoulder, dozing on the flight. She could still feel the slight imprint of the shoulder seam of his shirt on her face. A few times, she had turned her nose closer to his hair, drifting back to sleep with his scent to keep her company. This had been more intimate contact than they had ever had at one time, and she had to admit, at least to herself, that she had quite enjoyed it.

The line of passengers began to move.

"I'll get the carry-ons down." Lovejoy stood in front of her, reaching into the overhead compartment. Bags had indeed shifted, just as the flight attendant had warned. He glanced down as he waited for another traveler to wrestle with his over-large bag. He grinned again as he realized his posture and Lady Jane's seated angle was giving her quite the close-up of his jeans-covered bits.

"Sorry about the view, love."

She determinedly looked away. "A gentleman wouldn't draw a lady's attention to the view by a feigned apology."

"Really? You know, there's times I wonder how the upper class gets laid at all. Oh, sorry, miss," he said to the disapproving lady in the aisle.

He finally got the bags down and stood in the aisle, waiting for Lady Jane to get up.

"Frequently, according to my friends, there's someone of your sort around. Like you, for example."

Annoyed, she made her way down the aisle, his "That was only a couple of times, Janie!" trailing behind her.

.

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"Jesus, did half of Europe decide to holiday in America this week?"

The lines were long in Immigration & Customs, travelers of every stripe on line, wearily clutching their passports and visa forms. Jane considered calling Alex and letting him know they'd arrived safely, but Lovejoy had grabbed her hand as she took her mobile out, pointing to signs posted around the cavernous space.

"Wouldn't know who to call, Janie, you get tossed in the nick for illicit use of a mobile."

"I hardly think they would arrest me for using a phone."

"This is America, love, and Carolina was one of the original rebellious colonies. Who knows what they'd do to a wayward member of British nobility?"

"Honestly, Lovejoy…" She humphed under her breath as a couple of willowy American teenagers, apparently returning from their own holiday, giggled behind them. She noted with some consternation that the eldest seemed to be thoroughly checking out the seat of Lovejoy's jeans.

"It seems you could have dressed a little more appropriately."

He watched the commotion around them. "This is America. Everybody wears jeans, all the time, right?

They finally made their way to the front of the queue. A bored-looking Immigration official stamped their passports and questioned them briefly.

"Purpose of travel?"

"Business," Lady Jane said crisply. She planned to use this trip to meet with some up-and-coming interior designers while Alex was in meetings.

"Pleasure…I hope," Lovejoy replied in a more languid tone that was called for.

The official looked at them more closely, then looked at their papers. "Not married, right?"

"Oh, she is. I'm not, not any more, thank God for small favors."

The official looked again at the tired but aristocratic lady and the aging hippie-looking fellow with her. Never a dull moment…

"Ah." He handed back their papers. "Welcome to America, and enjoy your stay." He watched the black-haired man put an arm around the lady's waist. Bet there's a story there,he thought. "Next, please."

Luggage collected, customs cleared with only one minor fracas (Mangoes? Really, mangoes? You get a lot of mango smugglers from the UK, miss?") Lady Jane was finally cleared to call Alex.

"Oh, darling, awfully sorry but this meeting is going on longer than I expected. No, I can't get away to pick you up. Well, I'm sure he can figure out the wrong side of the road. You've got the directions to the hotel? Right, then. Grab a bite on the way, dear. Hotel dining is down for the night, I believe. Love you."

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The aristocratic blond man hung up and rolled back over. "I am sorry, Candace. I bought us another hour, tops, but then I'll really have to go."

The woman next to him twined a golden tanned arm around his neck. "We'll just have to see what we can do with one more hour, then," she drawled softly. "Will this be it, then, now that she's here?"

He ran a hand through her fluffy blond curls. "Not at all. That's why I told her to bring her hanger-on, Lovejoy. He'll keep her busy running around to antique shops and spending her money."

She cocked her head. "Is he, like, her best gay friend or something?"

Alex snorted out a bit of the horrid iced tea Candace had insisted he try.

"I don't think so, judging by the dalliances he has routinely with our female friends."

She stroked his chest with bright red nails. "You don't worry about them, then?"

He pulled her down to him. "Not anymore. Getting to the point of not caring is a wonderful
thing, it would seem. Now, let's leave off talk of my wife, shall we?"

.

"If you know so bloody much, why don't you take the wheel and I'll sit back and critique your driving!"

Lovejoy looked out the windshield at the massive traffic jam, feeling uncomfortably exposed.

"And I feel like I'm asking to be sideswiped, hanging out on the wrong side!"

"Lovejoy, there's five lanes. You'd be next to other cars no matter what side you were on." Jane was sweetly reasonable as his knuckles tightened on the steering wheel.

"Christ, does everybody in this country drive an eighteen-wheeler? No wonder they're so frantic over the price of petrol."

"Alex said the traffic can be frightful in Charlotte." She was looking at directions and a roadmap.

"We are supposed to be on I-77 North, right?"

She turned the map around. "Well, the directions say yes, but on the map, it gets all jumbled with I-85 North, and these say Highway 485…oh hell, I don't know!"

"Well, it's no matter anyway, since we're never getting off this stretch of road." He fiddled with the radio, finding plenty of that noise Eric called music, a couple of twangy country stations, and finally recognized some decent tunes on a "Classic Rock" station. Not Top of the Pops, but at least there was some AC/DC.

Brakes and tires squealed up ahead, then a shattery grinding crash.

"Oh, bloody hell, now there's a crash ahead of us." He sat, fuming, as sirens began filling the air. The slow-moving traffic ground to a halt. After a few minutes of emergency vehicles and commotion, he noticed some cars driving along the shoulder to an exit a bit ahead.

"Janie, hang on. We're getting off this Godforsaken stretch." He began looking for a chance to swerve right.

"Lovejoy, are you sure this is entirely legal, to take off down the shoulder?"

"If I always waited for "entirely legal" I'd be selling socks." He gunned his engine enough to break out of the interminable line and into the caravan of vehicles off-road.

Happy just to be moving again, he grinned until they arrived at the exit stop sign.

"You've got the map, Janie. Which way?"

"That would require having an idea of where we are, which I do not."

"Fine!" He exploded. Glaring at the road signs which refused to offer the name of anyplace familiar, he turned left.

"Boone? I don't see that on the…oh, wait." She turned the overhead light on.

"Good God, Lovejoy…you've aimed us towards the mountains."

"I don't see you navigating any better."

He pulled the rental car into a petrol station.

"Look, Janie, we're never getting back on the highway tonight. When we crossed back over the bridge, it looked like a car park for miles in both directions. Call Alex and give him an update, and tell him we're finding a place to kip down for the night and we'll see him tomorrow."

She frowned. "He's not going to be very happy about that."

Strong white teeth showed as he gritted out, "I'm not very happy about him not arranging for our
transport. Feel free to bring that to his attention, while you're at it."

He got out and walked around the car park while she called again. They were past the blazing bright white and red lights of Charlotte, and he could make out miles of forest on both sides of the highway. Stars twinkled overhead, the moon waxing almost full. There was a sweet scent in the air, under the exhaust and road smells. Lovejoy started to relax a bit, loosening his shoulders after hours of tension.

"Y'all need some help?"

He turned to the young man coming out of the shop, wearing the ball cap, plaid shirt and jeans that seemed to bede rigueuraround here.

"Quite possibly. We were coming out of the Charlotte airport and got a bit turned around. Can you tell us where we are?"

"Spencer Mountain, friend. Dang, y'all aren't from around here, are ya?" He grinned at the unfamiliar British accent.

"Guilty as charged," he replied, throwing in a belated "Mate" for good measure. "You know of any hotels near here? We're going to try to get together with a…friend in Charlotte in the morning."

The young man looked at the high-end rental car, nodding thoughtfully to himself. "It's a good little ways to a real hotel that's not a "no-tell motel" type, but if you can hang on a minute…" he ducked back into the shop.

Lovejoy looked back at the car. Lady Jane was still on the mobile, doing more listening than talking.

"Well, try to find something…you should have stayed put, Jane. No, not at home, I mean on the highway. That was his decision, I take it? I'm sure you can make your way to a decent hotel…this town is positively crawling with them. What? How far out of Charlotte?" Alex sighed, although he had started to grin at his bed-mate.

"Just…do the best you can. I'm sure Lovejoy will come up with something ingenious. Call me when you get in, and we'll sort it out tomorrow. You, too."

A sleepy voice came from under the covers. "What now?"

"Now we're going to do whatever you like, darling. Jane's been delayed and is going stay over in…well, wherever they've found themselves after detouring off the main highways."

She sat up. "We've got all night?"

"Seems so. I'm ringing for a bottle of champagne." He leaned back over to the phone.

She let the sheet fall down to her lap. "You must trust this Lovejoy guy a lot."

He hung up after ordering, staring at her golden skin. "Not really." He reached for her again, and found himself completely incurious about Jane's and Lovejoy's arrangements for the night.

.

Back in the rental, Lovejoy read through the directions twice before handing them off to Jane, along with a set of keys.

"And it's his sister's place? Are you sure about this?"

"Janie, Janie…it's a proper holiday rental, had a brochure and everything. It just happens not to be rented tonight. Here, look at this." He handed her the brochure while he looked for landmarks mentioned by the good Samaritan.

She turned on the overhead light. "Oh…my. Did you look at all this?"

"Nah, just to see it looked fit enough. What?" He glanced over. He could tell she was trying to hide a smile.

"It's got a hot tub…outside."

"Oh, really?" Visions of him and Jane lounging in a hot tub flickered through his mind.

"Listen…"a private, tree-screened nook on the bedroom deck holds a hot tub (seats 4)." Oh, my…"

His mental vision switched to "naked" and flickered some more. "Sounds decadent."

"I thought this area was all…churchy and conservative."

"Well, maybe they just put on a better show that we do."

Jane gave an unladylike snort. "A better show that British aristos, as you say? Really, Lovejoy…I thought you had more faith in our hypocrisy."

He glanced over. "You all right, Janie? Talked to Alex, all is well?"

She looked away. "All seems quite fine on his end. He sounded positively relieved that he could keep going at his precious meeting undisturbed."

He patted her hand in silence, feeling the warmth of her thigh underneath. "It'll all get sorted out in the morning, love. No worries, eh?" He grinned. "We're in the rolling landscape of the South, home of Scarlett O'Hara, magnolias, and Dolly Parton. It'll be fun."

"You do realize you're referencing icons of Georgia and Tennessee, and we're hopefully still in North Carolina."

He turned on the second dirt road on the directions. "Picky, picky."

.

They rattled over a deeply rutted road running between enormous overgrown pines. Just as Lady Jane was feeling twinges of alarm, the headlights shone on a small hand-painted sign in front of a locked gate.

""Dove's Rest Cabin. Private. No Trespassing." Looks like they take their privacy seriously," he said as he got out to unlock the gate.

They could almost feel the woods closing around them, shutting out everything except the neat little log cabin, tin roof glowing in the moonlight.

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TBC