Chapter one

Bellatrix would rather be in Azkaban, but no. As part of he punishment from Cornelius Fudge, she had to work peacefully with Muggles. Worst of all, she had to spend her days writing sappy love notes and designing unnaturally cute cartoon puppy dogs.

This Hallmark card company thing was just not for her. Her asignment of the day was to work on birthday cards; she had absolutely no idea what to write or draw. She started to twist her long, dark hair around the pencil she was holding, making it more frizzy than it was moments ago. Suddenly, inspiration hit her.

Pulling her pencil out of her tangled hair, she began to write. When she finished, the card looked totally normal from the outside. It read, "have a very happy birthday," and had a picture of a pink and purple panda bear holding a bunch of yellow balloons. However, when you opened it, it said, "or else I'll crucio you" and had a picture of a smiley face that looked as if it were laughing evily. Satisfied with her work, Bellatrix put the pencil down; it still had several strands of her coarse black hair wrapped tightly around it, but she didn't care. After all, she had just desgined the best birthday card in history.

Later that day, Fudge came in to make sure she didn't tie up her co-workers or anything like that. Resisting the urge to try that new curse Snape taught her ("why didn't teachers at Hogwarts teach us sectumsempra?" she wondered), she showed Fudge her work. Needless to say, he was not mused.