Okay, the last time I tried making a KH drabbles thing, it wasn't really drabbles... But I've been seeing a few Sonic drabble things around, and I realized "Hey, I have a bunch of random KH stuff lying around that I'm never going to use. Why not make a drabbles?" So I shall! :D And it'll be better than my stupid "Memories" thing, which I may just add to this. Thanks to everyone who reviewed Memories, by the way! Now, enjoy some angsty Axel thought process.

The most difficult thing in the world, is having to feel something, when you don't have a heart to feel it with.

There's this obnoxious little pull in the back of your mind, trying to remind you that 'This is how you're supposed to act.' When something good happened, he had to force himself to crack a smile. When something was wrong, his mind would tell him something about frowning, and so he'd make the corners of his mouth droop.

None of it was ever real. It was all forced, all his own doing. There was nothing spontaneous about the grins that crossed his face when talking with Saix, no piercing rage when he yelled at Xemnas. It was like a sad little shadow of the thing he used to feel. He was just going through the motions.

And then he'd come. With his big, stupid eyes and that stupid laugh that made him want to laugh along. It wasn't like all the other times, when people had laughed and he'd done it just because, well, that was what normal people did, and he was supposed to seem normal, right? No, when he- Roxas- laughed, it was more than just his memories saying "You Should Do This." He actually wanted to do it. A laugh would burst free, and every time it would surprise him, because it would happen without him even thinking about it.

And when Roxas had started bringing her to the Clock Tower- his stomach had tied into knots and his head had spun every time he talked about her. Xion this, Xion that, Xion Xion Xion. What about him? Didn't he matter?

Again, he hadn't thought about these memories of jealousy, of what it felt like to be replaced. He'd acted involuntarily, all because of that stupid zombie.

When he'd finally met her, when he'd finally gotten to know her, those memories of jealousy began to ebb away. His chest felt like it was glowing when he was with them. He didn't have to remember to smile or laugh when they said something he thought was funny. He didn't need to think, he just acted. And it was nice.

He liked being able to care. He liked laughing at stupid stuff and wasting his time up there on the Clock Tower. He didn't even mind the tugs of jealousy, the pangs of guilt or the stress that came along with the package. At least they were there.

All these years of living on the borders of life, of walking around as a husk, a shell; watching all the disasters of the world and not feeling anything, and now, all of a sudden, it was all back. memories of happiness, of sorrow, of jealousy and humor and love- they were all back. Maybe they weren't real, but they sure felt real, and that was more than he could have asked for.

And then it had all come to a halt. A screeching, spiralling, inferno of a halt.

And he'd left. Left him here to wonder where he was, where he planned to go, what he planned to do. No real good bye, just a "Nobody would miss me." Except he would. He would.

Ever since he'd sat and watched him leave, let him leave without so much as a fight -he'd been sitting here and waiting as his insides swarmed with a terrible turmoil. These memories of feelings he'd come to love so much were turning into sludge, gnawing at the chasm in his chest. He felt empty. He felt an ache. He was heavy and sluggish, like he couldn't move. The thought of even getting up seemed like an impossible task to him.

No, actually... He could move. He could get up and walk off like nothing had happened, if he wanted to to. Just walk away. That was the thing though. He didn't want to. It felt like he could sit here forever, anchored to this one spot.

And for now, that was all he planned to do.

This started out as a paragraph. See how I fleshed it out into his "emotional" growth through Days? :D

Please review! ~x3