Chapter 5

Finn felt an immense sense of liberation as he edged his way along the hallways of McKinley High, adorned in his Lady Gaga costume. So, alright, he had to admit that he hadn't worn it for the whole school day like he had originally considered, and he hadn't shown Kurt yet, but now that Finn had finally built up enough courage to actually wear it at all, he figured it could be an end of the week surprise kind of thing. Plus, he found himself truly enjoying it, despite his pulsing blood feeling like molten lava beneath his cheeks.

Finn was aided slightly in his breakout promenade by how comical he was finding the startled reactions of his fellow students; he had always been so painfully obsessed with fitting in and Finn could tell by the way that they stared at him, their mouths gaping wide, that they were just as surprised at what Finn was doing as he was. With a wince, Finn recalled his comments to Kurt about blending in and experienced a renewed epiphany of just how wrong he had been. It was thrilling to stand out, to have people look his way, even if it was due to this rather embarrassing situation; it was a very peculiar mix of feelings to feel in such a short walk down a hallway.

Put simply, Finn was exceedingly pleased with himself because his costume choice had been a stroke of genius. Whilst perusing Lady Gaga videos on the internet with his Mom, Finn had stumbled across a clip of a performance that she had done for the Royal Variety Performance in the UK. Captivated by the mystical appearance of the set and lighting, he had clicked play and instantly recognised, with a pinch of regret, the song that had been playing in the basement when he and Kurt had had their fight. Caught in his memory, Finn also fondly recalled the way that Kurt had contently hummed and swayed along to its melodies as he was fixing his shoe.

"That's Kurt's favourite Lady Gaga song!" Finn exclaimed, pointing excitedly, "I know that cus Kurt says he loves the emotion," Finn gushed effusively, smiling at his Mom. Carole gave her son an affectionately perplexed look as she watched him continue to follow the Lady Gaga video with the goofy expression that took siege of Finn's face when he was at his most joyous. It had been a while since she had seen that expression, and although soul lifting, she had to maternally ponder as to why it had returned. With a loving smile, she sighed inwardly as the truth dawned on her, and although it may aggravate a few delicate issues in the near future, she knew that at that moment she knew more about what was happening to Finn than he did, and she had to help him realise what was going on.

"Well then, why don't we make that one?" Carole suggested. Finn's enthusiasm receded somewhat as he considered himself wearing the costume. He didn't know if he was ready to be quite that theatrical.

"Oh, I don't know Mom, it's like a plastic dress, I can't wear that," he scoffed, sure that there had to be another costume he could wear that wasn't quite so outlandish, "Anyway, where are we gunna get a huge piece of red plastic by tomorrow?"

"Well Finn, it's not really a dress; it's more like a robe," Carole reasoned strongly. She was not about to let her sons new found gusto disappear because of his tedious shyness and insecurities, "You like Star Wars right? Well, this doesn't look that different to the robe things that the Jedi's wear does it? And look, you can wear a cool mask with it and everything." Finn deliberated over the costume with new eyes, carefully considering his Mom's words, which he didn't think were that accurate. However, he appreciated her attempt to make him more comfortable with the idea; he was relieved that he had allowed himself to divulge his situation to her as he felt himself already starting to falter, but Finn was secure in the knowledge that his mother wouldn't let him.

"I guess it does look kinda cool, in a Batman villain kind of way," Finn shrugged, picturing Kurt and his reasons for doing this clearly in his mind for a source of strength and conviction.

"And you know what? We don't have to worry about material; I've got an old red shower curtain upstairs in the hallway closet that would be absolutely perfect!" Carole smiled, "Go and get it and we'll get started." Finn swiftly rose off of the couch, it was getting late and he didn't know how long sowing anything took. He paused in the living room doorway and looked back towards his Mom.

"Wait, you brought an old shower curtain with us when we moved?" Finn enquired jokingly, his eyebrows rising.

"You never know when these things are going to come in handy," Carole said simply, bending to retrieve her sowing kit from the sideboard cupboard.

"That is such a Mom thing to say!" Finn laughed as he left the room on his errand.

Only a couple of very skilled and impressive hours on his Moms part later, and Finn had his very own 'Speechless' costume. By the time it was finished, he was practically falling asleep on his feet. It was late and he had been standing up for hours, modelling for his Mom whilst she took her measurements, but it had been totally worth it. The costume looked fantastic and as he retreated to the cosiness of his bed, it amazed Finn how his Mom could make a shower curtain of all things look so genuine.

Finn was pulled back into the present by the unmistakable sound of clanging metal that could only be a locker being slammed into. Every student knew what that sound was, especially in a school such as theirs where there was a slightly lapse sense of duty among the faculty where bullying was concerned. Call it intuition or call it guess work, but Finn knew which confrontation he would find in progress around the corner, and when he heard the faint sound of Kurt's unique voice raised in clear distress, Finn began to run down the corridor as fast as he could manage. His heart tripled its pace in a second, and although anger was clearly a primary emotion in his mind, his body was flooded by the tingly sensation that had been localised in his knee after that car ride home a couple of days ago. Now, as Finn rounded the corner, it radiated through every inch of him, from his finger tips which were balled into fists to his pounding feet and, considering his size, that was a lot of tingles.

He spotted the conflict up ahead of him and felt an injection of pride as he heard Kurt standing up for himself. That wasn't going to stop Finn though. He knew that however defiant Kurt may have seemed, he desperately needed his help and as Finn screeched to a stop a few paces behind Azimio and Karofsky, he straightened himself to his full, impressive height and puffed out his chest. In that moment, Finn truly felt like a superhero. He took just a second to steady himself, and then breathed in deeply as he prepared to finally show Kurt, his damsel, who he really was, and his shiny new feelings on standing out; it had been one hell of a week.

"I swear to you that I will never change. I'm proud to be different; it's the best thing about me. So go ahead, hit me," Kurt dared them through gritted teeth. It seemed to Finn that he had arrived just in time as Kurt was starting to sound defeated. Now it was his long overdue turn to take charge.

"You're not hitting anyone," Finn stated simply, with as much authority as he could manage. He put on his most intimating look and glared at the bullies as they turned to face him and smirked as they were rendered speechless, pun fully intended, at the sight of him in his costume.

"Is he wearing a red rubber dress or am I tripping?" Azimio asked Karofsky, obvious insult in his voice, but Finn looked straight through them to smile and nod at Kurt as the dumbstruck boy breathed his incredulity at what he was seeing. Kurt could not believe what Finn was doing and he realised with great happiness that Finn was not lying the other day when he said that he now understood everything that Kurt was trying to convey. Kurt's carefully penned in love exploded from its bonds when he also realised that Finn had meant his promise of protection. He knew that he would be an emotional wreck later as he tried to regain himself, but for now he was just going to enjoy the feeling that Finn cared for him, and the gleam returned to his eyes.

"I wanna thank you Kurt. The reason that I'm here right now, in a shower curtain, is because of you," Finn said lovingly, smiling his lop-sided smile in Kurt's direction whilst purposefully ignoring the scoffs of the other boys, "And I'm not gunna let anyone lay a hand on you," he finished, stepping forward with a snarl in his voice and on his lips.

"Really dude? Cus I'm pretty sure we can take both of you," Karofsky sneered, tapping Azimio with the back of his hand. With his new found confidence, and with Kurt eyeing him intently, Finn found that Karofsky's idiotic attempts at intimidation were sadly pitiful and, drawing poise from his costume, he knew that he had this won. Finn glanced down at the floor with a smirk before approaching the two football players slowly, deliberately, never breaking eye contact. After dealing with cowards like these guys for such a long time, whether it is in the halls or calling plays on the football field, Finn knew that a convincing offense was your best bet of getting what you want.

"You don't have to take both of us, only me. I don't care if you go at me two-on-one if that makes you feel better, but you are not touching Kurt," Finn finished, leaving only about a foot of space between him and Karofsky, "Never again," Finn whispered aggressively, glancing over Karofsky's shoulder at Kurt. They only met each others eyes for a fraction of no time at all, but Kurt saw the force behind Finn's eyes and felt a thrill of admiration and frank eroticism that hit him like a tidal wave; Kurt had known that Finn had the disposition to be stubborn at times, but he would never have guessed that Finn could be so commanding. Kurt wouldn't have argued against Finn for anything in the world in that moment, apart from Finn himself perhaps, and it seemed that the drones thought the same.

"Alright then, Glee boy. We'll leave your little fag boyfriend alone, this time. You can't watch him forever," Azimio mocked as he backed away, arms raised in the air. Finn heard Kurt's breath catch at the insult and knew that he had to get the last word if he wanted to make the most of the unpleasantness.

"Maybe not, but lets see how brave you feel when you know that every time you morons threaten him and I'm not there, I'll be coming to get you back," Finn started to edge his way forward again, vigilantly matching the pace of the backing up jocks for maximum creepy effect. Paired with the eeriness of his costume, the advancement did the trick and Kurt sniggered as he watched the boys retreat with no idea what to say next. After a few paces, they gave up, and with mutual huffs of frustration, they turned and made their way around the corner. The tension snapped as soon as the bullies were out of sight and as Finn and Kurt connected eyes once more, they erupted into the most infectious, gut destroying laughter that either one of them had ever experienced. It was only a couple of minutes at the most, but two minutes was a long time to do nothing but laugh, and by the time they both straightened up, they were gasping for air. Kurt looked into Finn's flushed face and felt his heart swell.

"Thank you Finn, that was incredible! And your costume is just fabulous, where did you get it?" Kurt asked whilst giving one of Finn's shoulder pads a tweak, still giggling. As far as he knew, fancy dress shops didn't exist in Lima.

"Me and Mom made it. Well, Mom mostly, I just stood there, but I did make the mask," Finn pointed towards his face proudly, high on the joy of his victory.

"Oh really?" Kurt said, giving Finn a proper once over, "where did you get the idea?"

"The internet. That's what I was doing with my laptop last night. I saw Lady G doing a performance of 'Speechless' dressed in this, and I knew it was your favourite song, so…," Finn trailed off, taking the time to re-appreciate his costume.

"Wow. Thanks Finn," was all that Kurt could manage, the relative enormity of what had just transpired finally catching up with him. Finn could see that Kurt needed to go home, and he lightly punched Kurt's arm. There would be plenty of time for explanations later.

"Lets go home dude, dunno bout you but I'm starving. My Mom said she's cooking tonight, so dinner will be good," Finn smiled, stabilising the situation in a heartbeat, and as they began to stroll down the hallway towards the main doors Kurt started to snigger again at the fact that no matter what was happening, Finn's stomach was always near the top of his agenda.

-Caught in a Bad Romance-

Dinner was a happy occasion; Kurt recounted the story of Finn's success over his bullies to Burt and Carole whilst Finn never broke from eating, blushing modestly all the while. Kurt laughed as Burt gave Finn a few manly pats on the shoulder making Finn turn a deeper shade of beetroot. It always made Kurt chuckle how modest Finn had always been, regarding any aspect of his life, it was actually one of Kurt's favourite things about Finn; he had so much going for him, but Finn always maintained the thought that he was average. Finn felt proud of himself for what he had achieved earlier, and he cherished Burt's approval of his actions, despite finding the praise ridiculously embarrassing; to Finn, he had simply done what was required of him and, if anything, he had left it a bit late.

However, the occurrence that Finn was finding most unnerving about this dinner was the fact that his Mom was uncharacteristically quiet. The only times that Finn could recall when his Mom was this silent was when she was in deep thought or smug, she was always this quiet when they had disagreements and she knew that she was right. Judging by the discreet smile she was directing towards her dinner plate, Finn assumed that the latter reason was to blame. Finn struggled to work out what was going on with her as she turned her peacefully knowledgeable face towards Kurt, who looked radiant as he and Burt carried on discussing how Azimio and Karofsky had scuttled away. This only confused Finn further, and as they finished dinner he found that he was becoming increasingly frustrated. That was until he again looked at Kurt, who switched his gaze to Finn's eyes, and Finn felt all of the agitation drain from him in an instant.

However, looking into Kurt's happy eyes made something click, miles away in the dark of his mind, and a pulse of indistinguishable feeling swept through Finn's body, causing a rogue gasp to escape from him before he could stop it. Kurt's eyebrows knitted together slightly as a questioning expression showed on his face, and Finn realised with worry that his gasp had been prominent enough to gain Burt and his Mom's attention as well. Rather unsubtly, Finn disguised his gasp as a yawn and stretched his arms out above his head, trying his best to look realistic.

"Are you alright honey?" Carole asked him, clearly seeing through his act, "You're sweating a bit, was there something wrong with your food?"

"Oh, no, it was…," Finn faltered under Kurt's staring eyes, "it was great. I'm just tired, I think I'm gunna go downstairs and lie down," he finished,rising from his seat awkwardly and starting towards the stairs. He fumbled with the door handle and began his dissent before he heard Kurt fill the doorway behind him.

"Finn, do you mind if I come and talk to you, or do you want some quiet?" Kurt asked delicately, cutely tilting his head to the side and smiling friendly. Finn was dazed at the emotional palpitations that were happening inside of him, but he knew that he couldn't say no to that.

"Sure Kurt, the company would be great," Finn said, seemingly on autopilot. He reached the bedroom and stumbled over to his bed where he settled rather ungraciously, facing Kurt who had mirrored his movements to be facing him. Finn knew he had to try harder to keep it together; he was starting to scare himself over how out of control he felt and he didn't want to show Kurt, he was supposed to be the strong one. Kurt watched Finn ball his hands into his duvet, and couldn't quite work out why Finn was so tense or claiming fatigue as he couldn't of looked more awake. Something was obviously making Finn uncomfortable, but Kurt would help him with that later. It was most likely something trivial, and Kurt had to say what he had to say.

"I just wanted to say thanks for everything you did this week," Kurt sighed, letting his bottled up emotions drip out just a little bit, "I know it must have been so hard for you to dress up like that today, especially in front of those Neanderthals," he laughed nervously, gaining a small smirk from Finn. Kurt got the impression that he was somehow the source of Finn's discomfort, and he was worried that Finn was regretting what he had done, so he decided that he needed to wrap things up.

"And I want you to know, I understand that you understand what I've been talking about all week, what with the theatricality, and I really appreciate you promising to help me, and then delivering. What you did earlier just about made my year!" Kurt gabbled with far more nervous laughter, growing worried by the distant, twisted expression taking control of Finn's face.

Finn felt glad that his objectives were complete. He had shown Kurt his understanding of Kurt's most cherished ideals, and he had proudly followed through on his promise whilst freeing himself of the toxic bonds of involuntary compliance to the footballers' rules once and for all, but he could not pretend that that was all he was feeling anymore. Finn had to be honest with himself; he had experienced the pain of being lied to over crucial, life changing things and he would be the ultimate hypocrite if he were to do it to himself. He had to admit his reasons for trying so desperately to make Kurt happy. As he stared at Kurt, with what he realised was probably quite an impassive face, and only fazed into what he was saying for every other word, the click in the dark became perfectly clear. The overpowering tingly sensation that he had been experiencing whenever he was around Kurt, whenever he was protecting him, whenever he looked at him, Finn had only ever felt ghosts of that feeling once before. That was towards Quinn, and it only really kicked in when he was expecting the baby, making him think that it was more fabrication than true feeling; that was nothing compared to what he felt earlier that day, running down the hallway.

It struck Finn all at once that he had thought of Kurt as his damsel in distress, and how powerful that thought had made him, had thought that Kurt was radiant with happiness at dinner and cute when he cocked his head the way that he always did, and had never felt guilt like he had the morning after their fight when he had spotted Kurt's 'Wizard of Oz' DVD…

Finn didn't know how or when he had stood up, or worked his way over to stand in front of Kurt, but now he was looking down into Kurt's face, breathing heavily and wondering what to do next. Kurt felt like he should stand up, uncomfortable with the silence and having to crane his neck to look up Finn's long body, so he stood shakily, trying to decipher Finn's abnormal behaviour whilst worrying that he had said something wrong. Finn stared at Kurt with such ferocious intensity that Kurt found himself scared as to what was to follow; it looked like Finn was crumbling apart in front of him.

"Please tell me you love me Kurt, I know you do," Finn begged desperately. Every one of Kurt's cells was shocked into statuesque stillness and he could have stood there for eternity trying to make sense of what had just happened, but Finn's unbearably pained face forced him into a response; he could try and make sense of things later.

"Of course I do. If you know I do, then you must know I always have," Kurt whispered.

"Hug me, please," Finn whimpered, in a beautifully childlike voice, needing Kurt like he had never needed anyone before as harsh sobs ripped from his body. Kurt hastily proceeded to step forward into the best singular moment of his life, the strong arms that he frequently dreamed about wrapping around his shoulders with a fierce grip. Kurt hooked his arms around Finn's quivering body, gripping his muscular shoulder blades as hard as he could and simply stood in that position with his face buried deep in Finn's broad chest, which was shaking with deep sobs of relief. The intimate warmth of Finn's body was unimaginable, and whist Kurt had absolutely no idea what was going on, for the meantime he was just going to enjoy that and bring as much befuddled comfort as he could.