First of all, THANK YOU to Shakespeare´s Lemonade for encouraging me to upload this! You are awesome! ;-)

This idea wouldn´t let go after I watched the finale again tonight. I wondered how Steve and Kono would deal with the past events.

Disclaimer: None is mine, all belongs to CBS and I definitely don´t earn any money with it.

Kono leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes for a second. Being back with 5-0, with her ohana, left her feeling slightly insecure. As if the past events should have had a larger impact and she couldn´t help but feel guilty. Because she didn´t feel changed, she didn´t feel refined and she certainly didn´t plan on doing her job any other way then she used to. That was what 5-0 was about. Getting the job done and doing things, no police officer would dare to do.

It´s been 5 days since 5-0 was reinstated by the new Governor of Hawaii. 5 days since the charges against her were dropped, she was back in her job and everything seemed to be back to normal. 5 days since Steve was back in his office, back as their leader and back as Danny´s partner. 5 days since Chin had handed his badge back and became a part of their dysfunctional ohana again.

And Kono still couldn´t help but feel insecure and out of place. The past events had shaken them all up, badly. So they should have left more than just footprints in wet sand, right? There should be more to it. It had to be. Because Kono remembered the pain, the fear and the helplessness vividly and she knew that the others felt the same. So why didn´t it matter anymore? Why was it so easy to slip back into their routine and it didn´t even feel wrong?

"Hey Kono, are you okay?" Steve´s voice startled her and she couldn´t help to wince. Forcing a smile onto her lips she met his eyes.

"Yeah, boss, I´m fine." she lied and the way he raised his eyebrow and cocked his head told her that he didn´t believe her for one second. But he let it go, at least for now.

"It´s good to have you back here, Kono." he finally said, after moments of silence that seemed to consume the space between them. Kono´s smile was genuine this time. Steve wasn´t big with words and she didn´t mind at all. She appreciated the fact that even though he knew he wasn´t good with choosing the right words, he was willing to try. To make her understand and to let her know that he was glad to be back and to have his team back.

"Good to be back too, Boss. It wasn´t easy and I don´t think I´m fully back here already..." Kono trailed off and for the first time in 5 days she saw the lines around his eyes and his mouth that seemed to have gotten deeper and more consice. There was a certain distance in his eyes, something that Kono had never seen before and she felt her stomach turn into a tight knot.

"It will be okay." he said quietly and Kono expected him to leave her office again, but instead he closed the door behind him and sat down in the chair in front of her desk. He leaned back, stretched his long legs and looked at her with a glance that Kono couldn´t identify. Still her heart started racing faster and she felt her palms get wet.

"I know." she replied and met his eyes. She had been right, there was a distance in his eyes, telling her that he was as insecure as she was. He felt as lost as she did, not sure how to handle things. And he was as confused as Kono was about the lack of impact. About the painful effortlessness with which things returned to normal, as if nothing had ever happened. When both knew that it was lie.

"Danny is still in Jersey but he and Rachel should be back tomorrow." Steve said, only to break the silence that was filled with unspoken words they weren´t ready to face yet.

Kono nodded, telling him that Chin had left already. It was a sunny Friday afternoon and it would be weekend soon. Chin was out to spend his day with Malia, his ex, who he had grown closer to over the past weeks. Kono wasn´t sure how to feel about that, but she also knew that the way things seemed to be could be wrong. She had thought that Malia had left Chin after he was accused of stealing money from the locker. But in the past weeks she had to learn that Chin had broken up with her to protect her. He wasn´t willing to tear down the woman he loved with him.

So it was only the two of them left.

"Wanna join me for a steak and some good Californian red wine?" Steve asked and she raised her eyebrow this time.

"Sure." she said. Despite the lightness of their conversation she knew they shared something, Danny and Chin wouldn´t understand. They were both thrown into the dust by the previous events. They were both accused of a crime and they both knew, they were guilty.

In a desperate attempt to will things to make sense again they reached out for each other. Kono knew her intentions. She knew why she was spending time with him, reaching out to him. She knew that a part of her – the one that was still torn, broken and lost – reached out to him to make sense again. She wanted him to be her hero so desperately that she refused to see how dangerously close she became to crossing the thin line they had drawn at the beginning of them working together.

But she had no idea why Steve suggested to spend more time then they had to. Why he wanted to see her after the work was done. Why he wanted to talk to her when he never was one to start a conversation like this to begin with. She had no idea and she honestly didn´t care. She wanted the feeling back that was 5-0. She wanted to feel safe and secure again, knowing her team would have her back and knowing that she could count on them. Knowing that 5-0 would be there when everything else would fail. She needed to find this basic trust again because she didn´t know how to survive without it.

And Steve was the only one to give that trust back. She put so much confidence and so much belief in him. It didn´t matter that he was as lost as she was, because she trusted him to be able to hold her and to put her back on track. Maybe she was just selfishly using him to make herself feeling better. Maybe this wasn´t about ohana, about 5-0 or about the team. Maybe this was only to comfort herself and to suck as much out of it as she could.

The drive home to Steve´s place was silent. Both unsure of what to say they were lost in their own thoughts. When they arrived Steve began preparing dinner and Kono set the table and then took the glass of wine he offered her, sitting down on a chair to watch him putting the steaks on the grill.

She watched him silently, the crashing of the waves against the sand in the background strangely comforting. It was nearly dark and they had lit up some lights on the lanai. The delicious smell of food made Steve realize how hungry he was. And he nearly chuckled to himself that this was the first time in nearly 3 weeks that he felt hunger. Or that he felt comfortable enough to do something as trivial as cooking.

He avoided looking at Kono. He knew that he would have to face her eventually, but not as long as his inside was such a mess. He needed to clear his head before he was able to talk to her. He hadn´t felt this torn in a long time. He knew that if he looked at her now he would do something stupid, something so dangerous that it would result in loosing the only anchor he had left. He felt her presence though, as if he could smell her perfume, the sun in her hair. He knew she was there and for this very moment it was enough.

Despite being her boss Steve knew, that he needed her maybe even more then she needed him. He never told her, how much she meant to him. How much he needed her confidence, her strong belief and her blind trust. How much a smile of her could make his day. How much he wanted to be a hero for her again, because that was the only way he knew how to be.

"You want another glass?" her voice interrupted the comfortable silence and Steve looked at her.

"Sure." he said and watched her grabbing the bottle and pouring him another glass. They toasted each other silently and smiled.

"It feels good to be here. To be honest I wasn´t sure I´d ever come back here again." Kono said. She felt the need to say something even if she hadn´t intented to be this forward. This wasn´t small talk and this wasn´t easy cost. But Kono knew she couldn´t stand the silence any longer.

Steve looked at her silently, his gaze intense and heated. She saw the turmoil inside him, the guilt edging on his face and she wanted to reach out and brush away those deep lines around his eyes.

"I´m sorry, Kono." he finally said and took a long sip of his wine.

"What for?" she asked surprised. After all, he had never forced her to do anything she wasn´t doing willingly.

"For not protecting you. I promised you and I failed." he said.

Kono got up and moved over to him, standing by his side, her shoulder barely brushing against his. She didn´t know if he would allow her to touch him, if she even wanted to touch him. But she knew she couldn´t be too far away from him.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Boss. I went with you willingly, to safe Chin´s life. And I knew that if we ever were caught, I´d have to face consequences. Don´t feel guilty for something that is not your fault." she finally said.

"I should have never let things go that far. This was my war, my vendetta and I risked the team for achieving something that was out of my reach the whole time. I should have seen it coming." he quietly said and if she didn´t know him that well, she might have missed the slight tremble in his voice and the little stiffness in his movements when he turned the steaks on the grill.

Kono turned her head and looked at him, taking in his profile. The strong jaw, the long eyelashes and the muscle twitching in his cheek. Kono wasn´t blind. She knew he was a good looking man. He was sexy and maybe even more so, he was beautiful. But she also knew that he was a good person. He had a strong belief and an even stronger will. He had high morals and he was willing to fight against destiny for the ones he loved. He´d never back down without a fight when there was still hope. He was her hero. The man she looked up to. The man that would always be a constant, a rock in her life. He was more than just her boss, but she would never tell him. Being the rookie had taught her that sometimes it had to be enough.

"You saved Chin´s life. And you did that without thinking about yourself. I wanted to follow you, Boss. There is no need to feel guilty or to apologize. I make my own decisions." she finally said and leaned back to watch the stars.

Steve turned his head to her. Looking at the woman by his side, he realized for the first time, that Kono was indeed a woman. Every case and every dangerous situation had made it easier for him to slip deeper into thinking, that she was the rookie. The young cop that had to learn and that had to be guided. But now, when it was the the two of them, he realized that she had grown up. He couldn´t help but feel a sting of guilt thinking that he was the reason she had to grow up fast and had to learn the hard way. Still the result was the same. She was a full-fledged part of the team. She could stand her ground. She could kick ass. And she didn´t need to be protected like a little sister, not anymore.

She was beautiful, inside and out. Maybe that was what had him drawn to her. Danny was his partner, his best friend. And Chin was his connection to his past, his father. But Kono was... Steve had no idea what she was, but he knew that he wouldn´t want to imagine a life without her. She had given him so much over the past year. Steve knew that he came to rely on her. That she had grown on him in a way, that Danny would never do. Simply because Kono gave him the feeling of being someone good, someone strong, someone he would want to be. She never doubted him. She looked up to him. She trusted him.

Clearing his throat he turned his gaze back to the steaks.

"Hungry?" he asked and when their eyes met, there was a smile on his lips, curving them upwards and making the lines around his eyes appear less deep.

"I´m starving!" Kono chuckled and handed him a plate. Why was it that around him suddenly things seemed to be easier? That it was okay to feel insecure, because she knew, he would always be there to protect her?

Sitting down they began to eat and after a few minutes, they were talking about Danny and Chin and about the good old times. The mood was light as if they knew what the other one needed. They laughed and enjoyed some more wine. And it didn´t matter. Because it was okay to let control slip for a moment. This was safe ground. This was ohana.

"Let me help you clean up and then let´s go swimming." Kono said when she got up.

"I´m fine with swimming but you don´t have to help me." Steve replied with a smile.

"Nah boss, after feeding me that is the least I can do." she insisted and together they cleaned the kitchen. The mood remained light and relaxed and Steve felt at ease for the first time since his world began to crash down. He was grateful for Kono being with him tonight.

"So, ready for some swimming at...," he looked at his watch, surprised to see how late it actually was. "... at 1am?" he asked with a smirk that reminded Kono of the careless and happy times.

"The one who´s in the water the last has to buy a round of drinks next time we go out." she laughed and before Steve could reply, her tank top hit his chest while she took off towards the dark sea behind his house.