Genre/s: Comedy/ Crack
Warnings: Nothing. Extreme crack. And kinda failed
Summary: VONGOLA X Family tries to teach Lambo to help him regain his place in class and drive for learning. To the extreme.
Disclaimer/Claimer: KHR is not mine. If it was I would be very rich and I would have Gokudera as a husband.

Littlemissmarikit: I wrote this about a year ago and forgot about it. It's up on my old fic journal and since I am updating this account, I thought about putting this here. I love Lambo, I think he's adorable as a child. I mean, he's too cute!

Lambo: GYAHAHAHAHA! Of course I am! Lambo-san is the cutest!

Littlemissmarikit: … go back to your musebox and stay there like a good cow now…

Lambo: BUHHHHHH! Lambo-san will not. He will go around and beg for COMMENTS AND REVIEWS on his story because Lambo-san wants REVIEWS! Now ENJOY~!

Six year old Lambo tugged at Mama Sawada's skirt as she fixed up his bento for the day. He didn't want to go to school at all. School only cut into his precious playtime and naptime and he really didn't want to give up either to sit still and learn to read, write and count. He just didn't get why he has to learn that boring stuff. Can't the adults do all the reading for them?

"Mama, Lambo is sick and doesn't want to go to school." Lambo pretended to cough and sniffle. He looked up with sleepy eyes at her in hopes that she bites the bait.

"Lambo! Skipping school is bad!" I-pin whose hair now grew enough to have pigtails, was eating her breakfast of waffles. She was excited to go to school. School is a very fun place and she loved it. She had a lot of friends and the teachers were all nice. Plus, she enjoyed learning a lot. She didn't understand why Lambo hated it so much.

"Behhh! I-pin-chan is boring and likes to do all that learning stuff," Lambo stuck his tongue at I-pin and then coughed again. He continued his quest to get Mama to make him stay home. Besides, he hated it when they call the kids up front and make them read things on the board. He always gets laughed at when the teacher calls him. He also hates the way the teacher confiscates all his bombs, makes him wear a dunce cap and makes him sit in the corner away from the other kids.

Most of all, Lambo hated the fact that the other kids call him names like Stupid Lambo, Brainless Cow, or Brocolli Brains. He was supposed to be the cool kid in school, and not I-pin who seemed to be the Teacher's pet and everyone's favorite kid. Everyone is so mean to him in school and he hates it.

"Ara, Lambo, we can't have you absent from School again," Mama Sawada knelt down in front of the child and wondered why he hated school so much. She thought a sociable kid like Lambo would love being with other kids his age and play with more friends, but apparently, this child hates it. There must be a reason behind it.

Fuuta was just finishing his cereal and bringing his bowl to the counter when he spoke up. "Lambo, I am sure your friends will miss you if you don't go to school," he said and then looked at Mama. "If they're ready, I can drop them off Mama."

"Lambo-sama doesn't like the people there, everyone's a meanie!" Lambo clutched to Mama Sawada's arm. "Please don't make me go. I promise to help out here. I'll be a good little calf!"

Mama Sawada was now genuinely worried. This was not normal behavior for a school age child. Sure, there were times that they could be lazy, but not all the time. "Ara? Why is everyone there a meanie? I'm sure that's not true, ne, I-pin chan?"

"Teacher Hana is a very nice teacher! We also have a lot of friends there. Today, we have a word drill, the one who can read a lot of words will get a prize from Teacher Hana and Teacher Miki," I-pin nodded as she put down her milk glass."The last place will have to clean the chalkboard for the day."

"I hate those nasty teachers," Lambo pouted and sat down on the floor and started to take off his uniform. "They make Lambo sit with the big hat everyday in the corner just because Lambo can't read or count. And they take my candy and toys too!"

"That's because you never try to learn them," Reborn was just finished with his own waffles and hopped off his seat to walk over to where Lambo is and stood in front of him. "How can you be a proper guardian if you don't even know how to read?"

"Lambo-sama doesn't need to read," Lambo huffed and crossed his arms. "Mama, I'm not going to school today. "

"LAMBO! You can't miss anymore school! Teacher Hana said that you'd be in danger of failing if you don't pass tommorow's test!" I-pin protested as she hopped off the table and brought her dishes to the sink.

"Oh my! Is that true, I-pin?" Mama Sawada looked at Lambo with worry. The child refuses to learn but it was really necessary to send him to school.

"Good morning everyone!" Tsunayoshi Sawada smiled. He loved school holidays. He was off school today because they were fumigating the school after a huge chemical explosion happened in the chem labs the day before. Today will be a great day. Lambo and the kids had school and so he would have the house all to himself. He intended to use it to catch up with manga and movies and sleep.

He entered the kitchen and saw everyone huddled around Lambo who was only half dressed for school. "Lambo! Why are you not dressed yet? You're going to be late."

"Lambo will never go to school!" Lambo said as he stood up and ran from all of them. Really, everyone's so mean!

"Lambo!" Ipin called to her friend who ran away from them.

"Mama, should I chase him?" Fuuta looked worried.

"I think we should let Lambo be for now," Mama Sawada sighed. She was in a pinch. If Lambo failed here that would be the 5th School that did. She was running ouf of choices for schools for the young child. "Go to school, Fuuta and Ipin. I'll talk to Lambo."

"Hn..." I-pin nodded sadly. "I'll bring home his homework." School will be no fun without Lambo today.

"Alright Mama, We'll be going now," Fuuta nodded as he assisted I-pin with her book bag and took her hand. "See you later, Reborn-san, Tsuna-nii."

"Take care," Reborn smiled and waved at the two school kids who ran off to school.

"What's wrong with him?" Tsuna sat down on the table to start on his waffles when Reborn hopped on the table and looked at him.

"Tsuna, you go and tutor Lambo today," Reborn said giving a direct order to the Vongola X. "He needs to learn to read and count for tommorow's test. We can't have him fail anymore because this is the 5th school that he's gone to."

"WHAT? WHY ME?" Tsuna protested but then he knew that it would be useless to protest.

"You're his boss after all,' Reborn grinned. "Mama, Tsuna's on a holiday today so he can tutor Lambo. I'm sure he'll pass tommorow's exam if he gets a little help."

"Ara? That would be great help, Tsu-kun! Thank you!" Mama Sawada grinned. She really was proud that she had a nice son. "That would be so helpful."

Tsuna put a hand behind his head and chuckled. "Sure, Mom!" He said and sighed as he kissed his relaxing vacation goodbye.

***
WIth the help of Reborn, Tsuna managed to corner Lambo in his room and locked the door. It was simple words anyway, and if he could make Lambo master them quickly, he could have at least half of his day as a holiday.

"Again, Lambo what symbol is this?" He raised up a flashcard with the character for one and hoped that Lambo could recognize it.

" Its a LINE" Lambo answered and laughed. He recognized the letters on the card. It was familiar and if he tried hard enough, he would probably get it. But it was too much effort and that wasn't fun at all. Besides, who cares what the card read? It's not normal ABCs Japanese Alphabet was funny and this was boring.

"No, Lambo, it's ichi You write it like this," Tsuna wrote it out and made sure he showed Lambo the proper way this time. He couldn't believe how lambo was so far behind from kids his age.

"Alalala! Tsuna! What game are we playing next?" Lambo was now brimming with energy as he hopped on Tsuna's bed. "Something fun?"

Tsuna smiled. "Yes, it's called reading! It's fun! Come on Lambo! Sit down here and try to read."

"BUUUU!" Lambo stuck his tongue out again and kicked Tsuna on the head. "That's no fun! Dame Tsuna will read for me!" He laughed and tried to

"Bimbo Lambo!" Reborn called out from his leather recliner on the bookshelf. "Do you want to be called Brocolli Brain all your life? Do you want to be left behind in Kindergarten again?"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Lambo glared at Reborn and frowned. How did they know what they called him in school? Will they start calling him that too?

"Bimbo Lambo? Brocolli Brain?" Tsuna looked at Lambo who was glaring at Reborn and shaking with anger. "Lambo, are you being called that at school?"

"Lambo-san doesn't know what you're talking about. Lambo -san is not called Brocolli Brain, Bimbo Lambo, or Poop Face. No, he isn't he's king of the kids," Lambo tried to keep a straight face but he couldn't hold it in. He started to bawl but this wasn't the loud spoiled kind of crying that they were used to. This was more of hurt and pleading.

Tsuna and Reborn exchanged glances. "Lambo, Lambo, what's wrong?" Tsuna gathered Lambo in his arms and asked the crying child.

"Lambo-san is a good boy. He tries his hardest ne? Lambo-san doesn't know why everyone is mean to him and nice to I-pin ne? Lambo-san tries at lessons too, ne? But teachers always get mad at Lambo-san even if he didn't do it," Lambo said in between sobs. "Lambo-san hates Iriguchi Mikoto the worst. He steals I-pin and tells her that I shouldn't be friends with her. Lambo san thinks that he is an ugly piggy looking meanie!"

"Iriguchi Mikoto?" Tsuna thought the family name sounded familiar. But he was more concerned with the bullying and trauma that Lambo was getting now more than a child's name.

"The Mayor's Son?" Gokudera Hayato had opened the door and smiled at Tsuna. " Good morning, Tenth! It's a good holiday! Are you resting well?"

Tsuna shook his head and sighed. "I hope I was. But Lambo is falling behind on Schoolwork and Reborn and Mama said I should help him out. Apparently, Lambo's been bullied at school too."

"Eh? This Stupid Cow is spoiling the Tenth's holiday? You..." Gokudera glared at Lambo and then suddenly softened up when he saw the hurt expression on the boy's face as he clung on to Tsuna. "Tch... I-I guess I could help."

"Lambo-san doesn't need help from Stupidera," Lambo said weakly and mustered as much pride as he can through his tears. "Lambo-san can do this. He can be I-pin's friend again and he can prove that he's not a Brocolli Head." Lambo sat up and got his books. But they all look kind of alien to him. There was no way he could learn all this in a day and ace the test tommorow.

"Eh? Aren't you friends with I-pin already?" Gokudera was puzzled and sat down on the floor with them. "Why don't you just fight for it?" He couldn't imagine a kid more annoying than Lambo and could make the stupid cow cry.

"Apparently, Iriguchi Mikoto is claiming I-pin for himself. He refuses to let I-pin play with Lambo unless he could beat him. He also leads the students who gang up on Lambo for his entertainment. Tsuna, his older brother is the guy who always steals your lunch and calls you Dame Tsuna all the time," Reborn said putting down his tiny espresso cup.

"EH? Iriguchi Makoto!" Tsuna said in recognition."He has a brother? One of him was enough."

"THAT PIG? He'll see what's coming to him," Gokudera clenched his fists and punched the wall. "This is unforgivable! Why didn't you fight back Stupid Cow?"

"B-b-beacause... It's Lambo-san's fight. Lambo san knows that if I tell anyone everyone will try to protect me. I am not a baby! Lambo-san is a big boy. Plus, I don't like them calling Mama Sawada an ugly hag," Lambo's eyes were now set and determined. "Lambo-sama is now mad! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Lambo started pounding on the ground.

"U-u-gly H-hag?" Gokudera's eyes turned to Lambo and then collared him. "Look, Stupid Cow, No one calls the Tenth's mother that. We have to beat that Pigface brat!"

"YEAH!" Lambo, for once agreed with Gokudera. But then suddenly backed down. "B-but how? I am in last rank and he's in 2nd, next to I-pin. "

"Lambo," Tsuna was silent through all of this. He understood the young boy's feelings. He also had his own experiences of humiliation, of being bullied and of feeling helpless. He did not want Lambo to suffer as being No Good all his life. HIs resolve has "is there anyway for you to beat this kid?"

Lambo thought a minute. "I could perfect the mid-year examinations next week. B-but..."

"But nothing," Tsuna said with a determined voice. "Do you want them to stop calling Mama names? Do you want to play with I-pin in school again?"

"Y-yes," Lambo said staring at Tsuna, kind of afraid of what will befall him.

"Then it's settled," Reborn said with a small smirk. "The Vongola will protect the reputation of his mother and the guardians. Therefore, Lambo's training will commence today. Tsuna, you and your guardians have to teach Lambo as if your life depended on it."

o0o

The training began with Gokudera Hayato and Lambo who sat in front of him looking at him with a blank expression on his face. He just didn't get what this Stupidera was saying. "Uh... I don't get it."

Gokudera sighed impatiently. "Look, Stupid Cow, what letter is this." He pointed to the symbol for Ka.

"Alalalala... I think that's a Ka," Lambo said. He was really trying hard. If he could learn this, even if Stupidera was teaching him, he could get back at the bullies.

"Good," Gokudera said with a nod. He smirked. The stupid cow was learning. This is a great way to prove to the Tenth that I am worthy to be his right hand man. "Now, what does this symbol sound like?" He pointed to the Sa

"..." Lambo thought a moment. "SHEEEEE!" He said proudly.

"No, Lambo it's Sa," Gokudera said as patiently as he could. "This is Shi."

"This is confusing," Lambo pouted. "Why cant the Japanese kids have normal letters like A, B and C?"

"We're in Japan," Tsuna said. "Not a lot of kids here learn that til later. Can we try again? Don't you want to beat out those kids?"

Lambo nodded. "Alright Lambo-san will try again."

As if on cue, as all holidays - or days for that matter, Yamamoto comes in followed by Ryohei who was shadow boxing behind him.

"YO!" The tall baseball jock greeted them and looked around. "What are you guys doing?"

Gokudera pointed to Lambo. "Teaching this Stupid Cow to read."

Yamamoto chuckled, "Sounds fun!" He looked at the little guy and patted him on the head. "You see Lambo, learning how to read is like this. First you hold the book and concentrate like this... " He held the book up and pretended to read and concentrate. "then your brain will absorb the information like tssst... tsssst... and then when you practice and study long enough, then BOOM! you realize you have learned the words!"

Lambo blinked at Yamamoto and tried what he did. He blinked up at him. "It's not working."

"Maybe you havent tsssst... tssst long enough," Yamamoto said and watched Lambo try to read again.

Lambo concentrated hard. If Yamamoto-nii said it works, it might. He has never failed at anything yet and he was better than Dame Tsuna. He tried hard but still couldn't get it. "Nope, not working. "

"THATS BECAUSE YOU NEED EXTREME GUTS TO READ! LAMBO REPEAT AFTER ME!" That was Sasagawa Ryohei's attempt at teaching. As usual he was loud. He punched up to the sky. "AH!"

Lambo stood up and did the same. "AH!"

"KA!" He punched right.

This time Lambo and Yamamoto, who thought it was fun, was following him. "KA!"

"SA!" He did a left hook.

"SA!" Yamamoto and Lambo said smiling.

"DA!" Ryohei jabbed.

"DA!" The two repeated.

"NOW PUT IT ALL TOGETHER! A! KA! SA! DA!" Ryohei chanted and they did it several times.

When they stopped, Tsuna gave Lambo a hiragana tile. "What does this say?"

"AH!" Lambo punched up to the sky.

"Correct." Tsuna smiled. Maybe Ryohei was up to something.

Gokudera tried it and gave him another hiragana tile. "This?"

"KA!" Lambo said and it was correct.

"Woah," Gokudera wrote AKA on a paper and showed it to Lambo. "What is this?"

Lambo stared at it and nodded, "AKA!"

"Good," Gokudera nodded. "Turf head do it again! Another set of vowel sounds this time."

"OH!" Ryohei stood up and called out his new students.

Tsuna sighed. Maybe this time, Lambo will actually learn. Even if it's a very odd and weird way of learning. However since it worked he had no choice but to do it.

Reborn smirked. The family was working hard together. It was more than he could ask for.

o0o

The next day Lambo was called up to class. I-pin watched as his friend stood up and went up to the front of the class. It was recitation time and Lambo usually failed in these classes.

"Watch me, I-pin," Lambo said as he passed. "Lambo san will get a perfect score!"

"Hahah... Its time for brocolli brains to make us all laugh," Iriguchi Mikoto laughed. The rest of the class laughed with him.

"Miko-chan, That's not very nice!" The teacher warned him. "Now, Lambo-chan... "

Miko smirked and then watched Lambo he expected him to fail and entertain him. "Look guys, this cow brain won't be able to read a thing." He whispered to the others.

Teacher Hana lifted up a Tile and Lambo looked like he was concentrating. He stood in the stance that Ryohei taught him.

"AH!" Lambo punched up to the sky.

"Very good," The teacher looked at him funny and held out the next card. "This one?"

"AKA!" Lambo punched up and then hooked right.

"Very good!" The teacher smiled at Lambo curiously. She was glad that the child had learned how to read but this stance was ridiculour. But then again, Lambo was a silly child. "What does Aka mean?"

"AKA MEANS RED!" Lambo shouted at the top of his voice like Ryohei does. he was proud and glad that he practiced the tssst tsst last night before he went to bed and the drills they did yesterday with Ryohei, Stupidera and Tsuna was finally showing its results. But his classmates were laughing at him. Everyone was watching at him and laughing at him.
WHat was he doing wrong? He was reading them correctly right?

One student didn't laugh. Ipin cocked her head and placed her goggles on (because she has no ears) and watched Lambo. Indeed lambo was reading but he was also spinning and punching through the air. What was he doing?

Mikoto was laughing the hardest. "This is why I love watching, Bimbo Lambo. He looks stupid."

The others started to shake their heads. "NO! Lambo-san is so cool! He could read a lot of words and look really cool doing it!" some of the boys said.

The girls nodded. "Lambo -san has read all of the words so far! He also knows the meaning of the words. Lambo san must have studied hard"

The teacher continued feeding lambo cards. He was reading it. But he also continued spinning and punching and she found it odd. The last card was the longest word. not a lot of the students could read it. "Alright Lambo, if you do read this card, you will get a perfect score and pass this class."

Lambo nodded. "Lambo-san will read it to the extreme!"

Suddenly Ipin understood and smiled. Lambo must have studied all night with Ryohei-nii. "Good Luck Lambo!"

The others nodded. They were impressed by his performance. "GOOD LUCK LAMBO !"

The teacher put up the word. Lambo stared at it and beamed. He Punched left, he punched right and did an extreme straight. "SAKANA!" He said as he spun around. "Sakana means fish! Fish is yummy!"

The teacher smiled proudly. "Very good, Lambo. You perfected this exam. Everyone clap for Lambo!"

Everyone did, except for Mikoto who was frowning and trying to stop everyone from doing so.

"Don't be so mean, Miko-san," one of the boys said. "Lambo san is our new leader now. Lambo san you have to teach us how to read like that."

"Alalalala, Now Lambo and Ipin can be friends again. " He beamed at his friend who smiled.

"Lambo did good! Ipin proud!" Ipin said and went to hug Lambo.

"READING IS FUN TO THE EXTREME!" Lambo said and everyone cheered.

The teacher looked fondly at the boy. SHe spied someone out the window, who were jumping around and celebrating. It was a guy with a bandaid across his nose who was cheering loudly, another brown haired boy who tried to calm the other down. A tall blackhaired guy and a silverhaired guy who was saying "JUUDAIME WE DID IT"

From then on, Lambo loved going to school. The bullying stopped and he got a permanent tutor in the form of Ryohei.