Voldemort slowly rose to his feet. After he cursed Harry, he had collapsed.

Bellatrix rushed to his side. "Are you alright, my lord?"

"What did you just call me?" said Voldemort coldly.

Bellatrix went pale. "Lord?"

"That's right," said Voldemort, "Lord. I'm pretty sure I can handle this. Narcissa, make sure he's dead."

Narcissa walked over and knelt down next to Harry's body. She put to slim fingers on his neck, and Harry knew that she could feel his pulse. However, she held them there.

"Is my son alive?" she breathed. Harry could just barely hear her.

"Yeah," he breathed back, "We have him in a bag."

"What?"

"Remember when your son visited you guys? That was just me, and we kidnapped Draco and put him in this bag that's bigger on the inside."

"But, is he alive?"

"I don't know. I guess."

Narcissa stood up. "Yes. He is dead."

The Death Eaters cheered.

Voldemort gestured to Hagrid, who was tied to a tree. "You can carry the body."

The ropes around Hagrid vanished, and he stooped down and lifted Harry in his arms. Tears fell down on to Harry's face.

The Death Eaters followed Voldemort out of the forest. The morning sun peaked out from behind the distant mountains. Voldemort had a noticeable spring in his step.

The remaining defenders of Hogwarts were gathered at where the gates had been, looking worn. They stared down the approaching Death Eaters with a level of intensity previously unknown to the grounds.

Voldemort stopped, and the Death Eaters spread out around him. Hagrid slowly walked across to the other side. There were audible gasps as people saw what he was carrying.

"That's right." said Voldemort. "Harry Potter is dead. It wasn't even that hard." he added haughtily.

Silence.

"If any of you would like to switch sides now, feel free to do so." said Voldemort.

"Who the heck would do that?" Ron shouted.

Pansy Parkinson sprinted out from behind him.

Ron pulled out his wand. "Stupefy!"

Pansy fell face down on to the stone path with a sickening crunch.

"Any others?" said Voldemort softly.

"Draco? Draco?" shrieked Narcissa.

Hermione dropped her bag on the ground, looking disgusted. The bag stirred for several seconds, then a terrified looking Draco Malfoy crawled out by his fingertips. He was even paler than usual, and very thin. When his head was all the way out, he squinted his eyes shut against the sun.

Finally, he was able to scramble out and run to his mother.

"You think this is it? You think we're done?" said Neville, stepping forward.

"I would assume so." said Voldemort. "I mean, I killed Harry Potter. Do you guys not care about that?"

Neville pondered this. "Well, I mean, we care, but we're still going to fight!"

Voldemort, in turn, pondered this. "Why did I think that you would all give up if I killed Harry?"

Ron shrugged. "I dunno, mate. Seems to me like you got a little bit too caught up with Potter, and sort of lost track of the big picture."

Hermione's hands shot to her mouth. Harry quickly closed his eyes again. She frantically tried to alert Ron, but he was still talking to Voldemort.

Ron was nodding. "I know. But, see, what I would've done is made one of the horcruxes a fish, that way you'd have to search the whole ocean."

"Something to consider next time. What's your name, by the way?" said Voldemort.

"Ron. Ron Weasley."

"Is that short for Ronald?"

"Yes."

Voldemort seemed surprised. "Really? Because I know this other Ron who's real name is Veronica."

"Veronica? Is that, like, the female version of Ron?" said Ron.

As Voldemort and Ron continued their conversation, Hermione slowly edged closer to Harry. She stepped in front of him, blocking his head from view. Then, she whispered,

"What are you going to do Harry?"

"I need you to say, 'Harry Potter will never die!'" he whispered back.

She shook her head, still facing the Death Eaters. "I'm not saying that."

"Okay, what about, 'what if there was a reason they called him The Boy Who Lived?'"

She paused.

"Come on. I almost died."

"Fine." she hissed.

Hermione cleared her throat. "What if there was a reason," she said in a raised voice, "They called him The Boy Who Lived?"

Harry lept out of Hagrid's arms. "Yes. What if there was?"

The Death Eaters gasped.

"How long did it take you to come up with that?" said Voldemort.

"It just came to me now." Harry answered confidently.

Harry and Voldemort made eye contact for a split second, then chaos erupted. Spells and curses flew in every direction, Death Eaters disapparated, and the Giant Squid swooped down and plucked Death Eaters up off the ground. Slowly, the two groups fought their way furiously back in to the castle.

More and more Death Eaters disapparated as they saw that they were outmatched. The defenders of Hogwarts were fighting for justice and their families, and the Death Eaters slowly realized that they were fighting for racism.

Neville drew the Sword of Gryffindor. Nagini slowly slithered toward him.

"I'm going to eat thissss kid, and he isssss going to be delicioussss." she hissed in Parseltongue.

Nagini rose up for the strike, and Neville swung the blade in a shimmering arc. Nagini's head flew across the Great Hall. Neville hefted the sword on to his shoulder, and turned to look at the Gryffindor hour glass. Every single ruby was down.

McGonagall, Slughorn, and Flitwick were all dueling Voldemort. Flitwick made a cascade of fluffy pillows fly out of his wand, which Voldemort beat back. Slughorn twirled his cool walrus-mustache, and McGonagall did some actual magic.

"Teachers? Why are teachers so powerful?" screamed Voldemort, and he conjured a wall of fire that expanded out around him. They apparated to the other side of the room.

Harry emerged from the crowd and faced Voldemort. The battle around them subsided, and they began to slowly circle.

"What are you going to do, Tom? You couldn't kill me when I was a baby! You couldn't kill me at the Triwizard Tournament! You couldn't kill me in the forest! Face it, you can't kill me!" said Harry.

"But your mother isn't here to save you, our wands no longer have twin cores, and the only soul left in you is your own!"

Harry stopped circling. "Oh. Man..."

"Harry! Snape!" cried Hermione.

Harry nodded. "But what if Snape was never your man? What if Dumbledore planned his death from the beginning?"

"Foolish boy! Severus was always with me."

"No. He loved my mother, and that's weird, but he left you when you killed her."

"He desired her. Nothing more." said Voldemort.

Harry winced at the thought of that. "You could never understand the power of love, Tom."

Voldemort drew his wand level.

"Avada-"

"Stupe-"

There was a brilliant flash of light in between them, and the Elder Wand soared high in the air. Harry caught it with the skill of an experienced Seeker, and Voldemort fell to the floor with a mundane finality.

xxx

Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked along together across the bridge that had so recently been a battleground. They stopped along the edge and looked out over the canyon.

"Harry," said Ron, "I don't understand why the Elder Wand is yours."

"I don't really know either. This parody deviated from some major plot points." said Harry, still looking out across the deep ravine. He held up the Elder Wand. "I shouldn't keep it. I've really had enough trouble. But, maybe I could use it for good? No. I should just lose it. It's really more trouble than it's worth."

He snapped it in half and threw it off the bridge. Turning around, he saw that Ron and Hermione were snogging behind him. He contemplated prying them apart, but it looked as if that would be impossible.

Harry smiled.

Nineteen Years Later

Harry, Ginny, and their three kids arived at the wall that led to platform nine and three quarters. It looked the same as it had when Harry had first gone through it.

"Alright," said Harry, "Together." He led his two sons through the wall, and Ginny followed behind them with their daugher Lily. She was still too young to go to Hogwarts, but she had come to see off her brothers.

"Dad! You never told us they named the train after you!" said Albus, pointing to the scarlet locomotive. Harry Potter was written in shining gold letters across the side.

"It's not that big of a deal," said Harry. "Oh, here they are."

Ron, Hermione, and their children Rose and Hugo were walking through the growing crowd.

"Now, really focus on your studies these first few weeks," Hermione said, "You really can't afford to fall behind early."

"Yeah," said Ron, "And make sure to investigate any sort of strange happening. Even if they tell you not to, it'll probably turn out for the better."

"Ron-"

"I'm just saying! It's what we did," he raised his hands defensively.

"Bye Mum, bye Dad," said James. He jumped on to the train. Albus stared at the train nervously. Harry kneeled down next to him.

"What if I end up in Slytherin?" he asked.

"Albus Severus Basilisky Invisibility Cloak Potter," said Harry, putting a hand on his shoulder, "You are named after the four most awesome things I could think of. Even if you end up in Hufflepuff you'll be fine."

"Thanks, dad." he hugged Ginny and stepped on to the train.

Harry checked his watch. "Hmm. He said he'd be here."

"Sorry I'm late, I was pretty busy getting ready for the first day." said Snape, emerging from the crowd. He crossed his fingers. "I hope I can snag a couple of your kids for my house."

"We'll see," said Harry, laughing, "We'll see."

Hermione was staring at the train nervously. Snape turned to her.

"I'm sure they'll do great," he said. She nodded.

"Well, I better get going." said Snape, "First day things to attend to."

They said goodbye, and he disapparated.

Hermione dabbed her eyes with a hankerchief. "I can't believe they're really gone."

"It had to happen some time," said Ron.

Harry felt the scar on his chest. It hadn't pained him for nineteen years. Everything was right.

Author's Note: The end... I know, it is sad. However, I'm not finished yet! I just posted the first chapter of my parody of The Order of the Phoenix, and I bet you'll like it if you like this. I hope you guys read it, because you all gave me lots of constructive reviews! Thanks!