I've had it.

I'm completely sick of this.

Of seeing those two fraggers dance around each other, thinking no one knows about their feelings for each other.

Pfft.

Glitches.

Both of them.

Everyone knows. Every single organism on Cybertron and Earth knows. By Primus a mech with no optics could just tell that those two sparks were meant to be together, and I don't believe in that slag!

It was disgusting seeing them so unaware of each other, yet at the same time, keenly aware of the other. If that even made any sense.

I swear the whole scene was like one of those human drama-filled soap operas. The ones where you just wanted to kill the script writers, because seriously, one episode was enough. Should have been enough.

Instead we're stuck with six fragging seasons!

I had expected more from Prime's Second and Third.

It puzzled and annoyed me to see these two mechs reduced to just a state.

Prowl, always logical, with a no-nonsense attitude, shamelessly direct, composed and determined. There was nothing he wouldn't tackle. I respected him for that, even if I'll never admit it. How the doorwinger wouldn't let anyone talk him down, how he held his own in a fight without even a twitch. That battle computer of his is superb, his analysis a genius' masterpiece.

And then there was that too fragging cheerful saboteur! One would think that because of his occupation he'd be a little more serious, or even… professional. But noooooo; the mech, when he wasn't sabotaging or fighting, was an annoying, hyper ball of energy that should be sedated before a mutiny occurred.

Still, I admired his fearlessness. His ability for adaptation, his drive and skills. While his carefree personality annoys the frag out of me, it shows just how good he is at his job. No other mech could be so calm and at ease in enemy territory as him. I suspect he actually enjoys the thrill of sabotaging an enemy's base, barely dodging death, the prospect of that day being his last fueled him.

Both a force to be reckoned with, both mighty warriors and worthy opponents. Such courage and talent…. wasted, useless when they were in each other's vicinity.

There had been too many close calls on the battle field.

Jazz going on a berserk rampage when Prowl was shot too near his spark chamber.

The tactician planning and carrying out the most spectacular assault/recovery/revenge mission to date when the saboteur was captured and tortured for information.

And still.

STILL!

They pushed the other away.

Oh the frustration!

Such cowardice disgusts me. Here I was, admiring their individual strengths, their sharp processors and fighting skills. All to act like a pair of younglings with a crush!

I've had enough.

It ends now!

00000000000000

I was told, before the war, that my matching skills never failed.

As I grabbed Jazz and Prowl from the battlefield; one by his doorwing and the other by his horns (if they were going to act like younglings then they'd be treated as such), and threw their sorry afts inside a cave, blowing the entrance up….

"Just fragging 'face each other and stop making goggly optics at each other in battle! It's annoying, it distracts me, and it fragging makes me want to purge!"

… being my parting words (and oh, the shocked and embarrassed expressions were forever burned into my processor), I couldn't but agree.

Specially when the two malfunctions bonded right after that.

Life was good.

000000000000000000

It didn't surprise me as much as it should have to find Optimus waiting for me the night of the black and whites' bonding.

"Prime." I drawled smugly in greeting. "To what do I owe the honor?"

Oh and how Prime squirmed.

"You really have to stop throwing bots into caverns, locked closets, canyons, or any other closed off places Megatron."

I grinned.

"I didn't hear you and Elita complain."

I was proud to be one of the few mechs that could make Prime twitch like that.

"Just… don't do it again."

"Oh I don't know. It was kind of fun, and I hear the old medic is being obtuse when it comes to those front liners of yours."

Optimus' horrified expression was enough to make me spare his life, until the next time we met in battle at least.

For now, I had a match to make.

00000000000000

XD HA! Bet you weren't expecting him huh?