Riddles

Disclaimer: I don't own Fallout New Vegas.

Ignacio and Arcade, age 11, Old Mormon Fort

"I'm bored." Ignacio slammed his hands on the table. Both boys were done with school, and they took to the tent, doing what boys do... Writing, talking and the like.

"So am I..." Arcade sighed in agreement, "Wait."

"What? Found a new way to prank Ashley?" Back then Ignacio was rather mischievous. Ashley Usanagi was often their prank victim.

"Nope. I got a riddle though."

"Awwwww, man."

"What's brown and sticky?"

Ignacio lifted his eyebrows, settled back in his seat and looked into the blonde boy's eyes and answered, "Brahmin poop."

"Nope," Arcade had to laugh, though.

"Are you kidding me? It's brown and sticky."

"I know, but that isn't the answer."

"Molerat poop?"

"No."

"Cazador poop?"

"Incorrect."

"Bighorner poop."

"Not even close."

"Human poop."

"Stop talking about poop!" Arcade clamped his hands over his ears.

"You know what my dad told me? He told me it's a sin to poop in the bathtub, and if you do it, you're the Devil," Ignacio flatly stated as he couldn't think about anything to answer the riddle with.

The other boy's mouth hung open as he stared blankly at him, "Seriously... I think your dad wasn't born into the Followers of the Apocalypse."

"Yes he was! He told me himself," He hated being told he was wrong, especially if the one telling him that had the name starting with Ashley and ending with Usanagi. Oh, how he hated that annoying girl.

"The adults here are kinda... Stiff. I'm sure they would be shocked your dad said that to you."

"My dad does stuff like them, too! So that proves that he was born here!"

"Some people run away from your dad."

"...Because he's too cool for them! There he is! Hi dad!" Igancio waved his hand at a tall, muscular man with dark hair. He waved back as he walked into another ten, "Besides, he's good at what he does!"

"Alrighty... Okay. Wanna know the answer?"

"Go ahead. All I know is that poop isn't the word."

"A stick."

"Are you serious?"

"Totally."

"No way."

"Yes way."

"Where do we find one?"

"Let's go outside," The boys walked out of the tent and over to a corner of the fort. There, Usanagi was on her knees with a dry branch in hand. Arcade looked over her shoulder to see a drawing of some kind.

"What do you guys want?" Usanagi turned her head to see the boys standing over her.

"We want your stick," Even back then, Arcade Gannon was straight-forward.

"So?"

"You guys can't have it."

"Do you want Ignacio here to blind you with sand?" He motioned to him, as he was pounding his fist into his palm and glared at her.

"Okay! Fine!" Usanagi stood up and spat, "I-it's not like I-I'm scared of you, th-though," She handed her stick to Arcade and left.

"She totally is," Ignacio chuckled looking at the stick. It was brown, but rather pale and it was long, stiff and knobby. Apparently, it was his latest prank on her that did it: while Usanagi slept, both boys grabbed her and strapped her on top of a brahmin that was visiting that night. In the morning, she woke up screaming as she felt it move.

"That brahmin was nice to us. I think it hated Ashley, too," Arcade nodded in agreement as he jabbed the air with the stick.

"Ashley is so annoying. She thinks that she's always right... but she's not!"

"I know! She kept on putting her hand up in class today!"

"She's not the only smart kid here, geez..."

"I got another riddle!"

"Again?"

"It's not that bad, I promise!"

"Okay."

"What's warm and yellow?"

"Are you serious? Pee," Ignacio snickered.

"Again with the dirty stuff?" Arcade poked the other boy's arm.

"But body waste is funny!"

"Okay guy who gets weird quotes from his dad... Look up!" He pointed upwards at the sky. It was cloudless, so the sky was very bright.

"He's not weird... Ow!" Ignacio covered his eyes as he looked at the sun.

"See anything?"

"I saw the sun! Wait... it's yellow and it's warm. It's the sun!"

"At least it wasn't bad as last time. You win."

"Warm, though? More like burning."

"But it's still warm."

"It's hot though... and I'm a little blind."

Present day, HELIOS One

Arcade smiled to see his old friend working. It was years ago that they were ordinary boys in the Old Mormon Fort, but it took seconds to bring up that riddle.

"What's brown and sticky?"

"Brahmin crap!" Fantastic blurted out.

"A stick!" Both Arcade and Ignacio laughed at Fantastic. Moments like these always kept their heads up in a desert like the Mojave Wasteland.

A/N: This drabble wasn't meant to be stupid, but it was supposed to be simple and sweet. I mean, it's very kid-friendly if you can handle the poop jokes. I hope you enjoyed it! R&R!