Dear Thalia.

You have no idea how much I like her. This girl that just broke down my walls.

Her name is Jamie, and she's a daughter of Demeter.

I know that I used to think that... Yenno, I loved you.

Maybe I still do?

I'm not entirely sure, but Jamie just came and broke me down.

She crumbled all the false happiness and hit a nerve in me.

I used to think that I hated her for it; for making me feel so vulnerable around her.

But then I realized that I couldn't hate anyone who made me feel like that.

Maybe except for Juno.

But I just... I still feel a connection to you.

I don't want to lose Jamie.

And I don't want to lose you.

It might kill me.

I know we don't talk much. But you're almost never here.

I can't help imagining what it would be like though, if Jamie were you.

But I know it couldn't ever work.

Not in this world anyway.

I know you're damaged goods ever since Luke, but I've never been pristine either.

Maybe it's just not meant to be, with you in the hunters and all, but I cant shake this feeling when I'm around you.

Of course I've learnt to hide it around Jamie.

I can't have her thinking that I don't like her, because I do.

But maybe it's just the brown hair, or the green eyes that make me turn away sometimes and deny her.

I've never favored brown hair. I like black.

And I'm not about to make her change, either. Because I'm afraid if she does, in the end she might look

Just

Like

YOU.