Who I Am Inside

Chapter 4: Brothers and Daughters

A/N: Thanks again to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. This chapter has one HECK of a twist at the end and is the longest chapter of this story so far. So I'm begging all my readers and reviewers to keep an open mind here. I'm really worried about how well this twist will go over even though to me it seems like a natural development. I hope you enjoy this latest chapter.

Heinz Doofenshmirtz was broken from his thoughts by yet another knock on his apartment door. He grumbled something under his breath and trudged to answer it again.

"Hi Dad," his sixteen year old daughter Vanessa greeted him with a smile.

That set him completely off balance and he was even more thrown when she hugged him "Hello… Vanessa…" he greeted slowly. When she pulled away he added "Are you feeling alright? You haven't been cloned or replaced by some sort of alien cy-borg that failed to copy your personality precisely or-"

"Dad!" Vanessa griped, the smile turning to a frown.

"Never mind," her father finished once he saw his daughter looking and acting in the manner he was used to. He ushered his daughter inside the apartment "Would you like a muffin Vanessa?" he offered, pointing to the semi-crushed basket which he had retrieved from the floor and which now sat on his coffee table once more "They're quite tasty."

Vanessa declined the muffin "Oh Dad," she smiled again as she looked at him with something that Doofenshmirtz hadn't seen from her in many years, far too many years to count, adoration.

"Vanessa…?" he questioned a bit suspiciously "Why are you here today? I mean not that I'm not glad to see you. Because I'm always glad to see you," he back peddled quickly. "But, you didn't happen to see or hear about anything on the news today or on the internet… did you?"

Vanessa frowned "Of course I did Dad," she informed him "It's all over the internet and the news and everything," she searched for and finally located the remote for the television, which she had to triple check wouldn't cause something in her father's apartment to explode, and turned on the TV.

Coincidentally the story was playing. Over the footage of Doofenshmirtz performing CPR on the child and attempting to stop the bleeding with his lab coat a reporter was speaking "As the young boy lay motionless a heroic bystander jumped into action, giving him the life saving aid that he desperately required…"

"And why was I the only one who was doing anything?" Doofenshmirtz asked, suddenly outraged when he saw the other bystanders simply watching "Just look at those people taking video on their camera phones and… ARGH… that lady didn't even stop drinking her coffee! What is the world coming to when the bad guy saves the day because no one else cares enough to get involved?"

"Sources say the child is in stable condition at the hospital," the reporter continued.

"Well, that's good at least," Doofenshmirtz sighed, feeling an odd sense of relief. Odd because he hadn't really given the boy's prognosis a second thought and had only been thinking of his own woes up until now.

The screen cut to an interview with the Doctor who had been on call at the hospital "There's no doubt in my mind that that boy would not have survived without the quick intervention of this man," he told the reporter.

Vanessa smiled at her father "You're a hero Dad," she told him before giving him another hug.

"No Vanessa," he tried to explain as she gripped him tighter "I'm still evil… I just…"

"I'm proud of you Daddy," she said into his ear.

'Daddy' now that was something Doofenshmirtz hadn't heard in ages. It was something that when he heard it again for the first time in so many years, it made his eyes mist over. He missed being called 'Daddy'. He missed it when his little girl used to look up at him like he was the greatest guy in the entire world.

And it was all because of his good deed. Now being good not only felt and tasted good but it also sounded good and looked good. That was four out of five senses. Being good was starting to beat out being evil by a large margin. And yet, he still felt conflicted. His heart was torn between the side of good and the side of evil. Though the good side was making very compelling arguments at this point the part of him that still desired to be evil was not relenting.

"You wanna go get some pizza?" Vanessa asked a few minutes later when she had broken the hug and turned off the TV.

Doofenshmirtz shook his head "Nah, I really don't want to be seen right now."

Vanessa shook her head. Her dad could be weird sometimes "Alright," she told him "But I'm hungry. I'm gonna go get some pizza. Do you want anything Daddy?"

'Daddy', there it was again. And his heart gave a tremendous lurch towards goodness only to be yanked back into the turmoil by the evil side. "No thanks," he replied as nonchalantly as he could "I've still got plenty of muffins."

Vanessa shook her head again and left the apartment.

Doofenshmirtz resumed his head-in-hands position on the sofa. An odd though occurred to him as he once again tried to ponder on his lot in life. Had they ever caught the driver of that car?

XXX

It had been a full hour of silence as Isabella sat next to Ferb in his room. Isabella, strong willed though she might be, was getting a little antsy. She finally broke the silence, deciding to try a different tactic. "Your mom told my mom that I could go see Phineas this afternoon," she began. Ferb looked up at her but remained quiet "You can come too if you want."

Ferb shook his head sadly.

"Phineas probably wants to see you," Isabella pointed out.

Ferb nodded. He remembered all too well the hopeful tone his brother had used earlier. Still he couldn't face Phineas, not while the guilt still stabbed at him. The very sight of his brother caused him to exercise restraint lest he burst into wracking sobs. The mere thought of going to visit Phineas caused tears to prick at his eyes.

"Come on Ferb," Isabella gently nudged him with her elbow.

"I can't Isabella," he said finally.

Isabella almost smiled with triumph at getting him to say something at last but the victory was quite bittersweet. Her friend's tone sounded completely defeated and the way he looked at her was heartbreaking.

"Why not?" she asked, not completely understanding and needing an explanation. She knew full well though that her chances of getting an explanation about anything from Ferb were rather low.

Her instincts were correct as he simply shook his head at her.

"Isa!" her mother called a short while later from the living room of the Flynn-Fletcher home "Are you ready to go!"

Isabella stood up and grabbed Ferb by the hand "Come on," she smiled encouragingly before forcefully dragging Ferb from the bedroom to where her mother was waiting.

Vivian Garcia Shapiro stood with Linda and Lawrence in the living room. The three had been discussing the accident, Phineas's mysterious guardian angel, the police department's search for the driver and Ferb. They had been talking at great length about Ferb. How he had seen the accident in front of him, how he had been told to run home and tell his parents what had happened by paramedics while his brother was put into the back of an ambulance and most importantly, the way he'd shied away from Phineas at the hospital earlier that day.

"He's always been a quiet boy," Lawrence had said "But I'm really worried about him. It's… it's like something just broke inside of him."

Vivian had offered to take Ferb with her and Isabella when they went to see Phineas. Linda had agreed that would be a fantastic idea.

"When we went back to see him today," Linda had said with a faint smile "All he wanted to talk about was 'Where's Ferb?' 'Why didn't Ferb come with you?' 'Can you call home so I can talk to Ferb?'. And of course when I called Candace answered and she wanted to talk to Phineas first and somehow forgot to even ask Ferb to come to the phone…"

"I got another call from Jeremy," Candace had protested.

When Vivian called for Isabella it had surprised everyone in the room when she skipped downstairs, dragging Ferb behind her. Ferb, while still looking as Lawrence had put it, like something had 'broken' inside him, nonetheless kept pace with his friend as best he could.

"Can Ferb come with us?" Isabella asked of her mother.

Vivian smiled at her daughter "That sounds like a wonderful idea mija," she replied.

XXX

Isabella couldn't help but notice and be a little hurt by the way that Phineas's face lit up the second he saw his brother. But she didn't mind too badly. After all, he had offered her a gorgeous smile upon her entry into the room as well.

"Ferb! Isabella!" the red haired child greeted happily, trying to sit up in bed then being reminded by way of pain that he wasn't quite capable of such a motion at this time.

Ferb kept his eyes on the floor as he trudged forward and brought a chair to the bedside for Isabella.

Isabella smiled kindly at her friend "Thanks Ferb," she replied as she took a seat.

Ferb got another chair for himself but placed it significantly further from the bed.

"How are you feeling Phineas?" Isabella asked him with a sweet smile plastered on her face for his benefit.

"I've had better days," Phineas tried to laugh for the benefit of his visitors but broken ribs and laughter have never mixed well. He cringed visibly as the laughter died abruptly on his lips.

"I'm sorry," Ferb said in a soft, tear filled voice.

Isabella and Phineas turned to see Ferb hunched over in his sear, his knees drawn to his chest and tears in his eyes.

"Ferb…" Phineas began in a concerned tone as he looked upon his brother "You don't need to be sorry," Phineas's words echoed those of his mother earlier that day "I'm alright."

Ferb turned away and was about to say something else when Isabella's mother burst into the room, her arms laden with boxes from the hospital gift shop. She smiled at Phineas "I got you some things to make your stay here more enjoyable," she told him as she set the boxes and bags down on a conveniently placed table. She was halfway through laying out the items when she noticed Ferb's tears.

She crossed the room instantly and engulfed the boy in a hug, rocking him back and forth. "What are all the tears for?" she questioned, having some idea.

Ferb couldn't hold his guilt in anymore "It's my fault," he sobbed softly into Vivian's shoulder "It should have been me that got hit."

Phineas wished desperately at that moment that he could get out of his hospital bed and offer his brother a hug or a pat on the shoulder. Never had he been so shocked by Ferb's words. He was going to speak when Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro beat him to it.

"No, no, no, no Ferb," she soothed "None of this is your fault, not at all. It was all the fault of the man driving that car."

"Ferb," Phineas added "If you'd been hit by the car, I'd have never forgiven myself for suggesting that stupid bike race."

Ferb dried his eyes and looked up at his brother. His brother had such a love for summer and such a zest for life. Now that he was so badly injured, he'd be lucky if he was healed up well enough to leave the house by the start of the school year. The rest of Phineas's summer was shot and Ferb felt responsible.

Phineas read his brother's gaze like a book "Don't worry about me," he smiled reassuringly.

Ferb pulled away from Isabella's mother and made his way over to his brother's bedside. Gently, as his mother and father had earlier that day, he wrapped his arms around his brother, careful of the IV and various monitors and the tube that was keeping his lung inflated.

Phineas returned the embrace as best he could. Luckily he had come out of the accident with two fully functioning arms and could still hug properly.

"I'm still sorry," Ferb whispered.

"I know," Phineas replied "I'm sorry that you're sorry."

XXX

Roger Doofenshmirtz was royally screwed. No one had recognized the car that had struck the boy and eye witness accounts were varied. But Roger knew all too well the identity of the driver who had ran that boy on the bicycle over.

Being mayor did not stop someone from doing stupid things from time to time. In fact the pull of political office usually leant itself more too stupid things than the prevention of stupid things. Roger was no saint as he would have people believe; he was guilty of more than a few stupid things in his life. And far too many of those stupid things had happened during his tenure as mayor of Danville.

He enjoyed cognac and other strong alcoholic beverages on a regular basis. He had always been careful though and had never been drunk during his work day. He enjoyed driving fast but he'd always kept his speed demon nature outside of Danville and confined to rural areas. He enjoyed sleeping around; being the mayor had its perks. But he had never had an affair on the night before he'd have to be in the office.

Today, all of his careful measures had failed him and he could feel the walls closing in on him.

He and Melanie had escaped to his cabin just north of Danville for a little fun. The two of them had stayed up quite late and overslept. When he'd awoken, he'd been in such a hurry to get back to town before he'd be missed that he'd left Melanie up there.

He'd still been a little tipsy from the night before and hadn't been paying attention until it was too late. He'd kept going after hitting the child to avoid the embarrassment of it. He was the mayor after all. He wanted to avoid any and all scandal.

The car was one that he kept in his garage specifically for weekend getaways and would not have been recognized by many as belonging to him. He'd since gotten rid of the car, removing the license plates and leaving it in a junkyard to be crushed. Hopefully no one would notice the bloody fender.

Most of his afternoon after disposing of his car had been spent sitting in his office, fretting and worrying to the point of nearly pulling his hair out. He hadn't been watching the news or listening to the radio or on the internet at all. He had only been listening to the police scanner and keeping tabs on their progress tracking the car involved in the hit and run.

He had no idea that his own brother had played a key role in saving the life that he had so recklessly endangered. He could only think of himself and his own problems.