Title: Addiction - 1st Movement: Heaven or Hell

Author: Tyrror

Rating: MA - Mature content warning. Explicit homosexual intercourse, Adult Language, Adult Themes.

Pairings: Mitskuni (Honey)/Takashi (Mori), Kyoya/?, Kaoru/?, Implied Haruhi/Takashi/Hikaru love triangle

Extended Summary: The members of the Ouran High School Host Club are slowly coming to the realizations that they have addictions which are pulling the club apart at it's seams. With half of the club blaming themselves and terrified of doing anything wrong the question quickly becomes will they be able to save themselves none the less each other. This tragic opera starts with an exhilarating symphony of skin on skin and tears, the 1st movement: Heaven or Hell...

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or setting found herewithin and have not nor will I obtain any monetary compensation for this work. This is solely fictional in origin and all the characters and settings are the sole intellectual property of their creators.

1st Movement – Heaven or Hell

Don't let me think, just let me act. Don't let me remember these thoughts I want to forget.

He could feel his body stretched taunt and tight, arching up in vain to seek more contact with the body above him. Yet it was to no use, the younger boy insisted on teasing, on torturing, on leaving the blond to beg silently for more, for release, for him. Teeth nipped lightly at the lobe of his ear, his eyes flying open to stare, unseeing, into the darkness before him. He felt like he was burning, every breath across his skin, every scrape of teeth, every brush of flesh left him filled with a pleasant fire, an uncontrollable heat that had no thought, no conception of consequences, only barest emotion and primal need.

Without warning, the wrists that had been held tight above his head by one powerful hand were free. Now there were lips on his own, a forceful tongue deep in his mouth, seeking things he could not imagine from his small frame. He lost himself in that kiss, that clash of teeth and tongues, in such a manner that it was almost more shock than pleasure to find the heat of another body pressed, skin to skin, against him. A sudden movement, and instantaneous fulfillment of the desire to lie in full contact with another human heat boggled his mind in its ability to create more needs than it could ever resolve. He could feel the uncut length of his lover's desire pressed warm and throbbing to the inside of his thigh and he let his eyes flutter shut in a blissful anticipation of the pleasure that was left to come.

"Are you ready?"

The Younger boy asked, his voice a deep rumble spoken directly into his mouth. His small hand entangled itself in the dark hair above him; he wanted to ensure that the larger boy had no chance of putting any more space in between them than was necessary. Short, ragged breaths tore at his lungs, bordering on the line between pleasure and pain as he fought to keep himself from simply drowning in his primal need.

"Takashi, I…I…"

Mitskuni shot up in his bed. He was tangled in the sheets, covered in sweat, and still hard from the dream-like phantasm that he could still feel, still taste. The radiant heat from the other boy's body spread itself beyond the four inches left between them in an attempt to fight the deepening chill that had begun to fall upon the blonde, but such meager comfort was of no use as usual. Lightning struck somewhere outside, dividing the room into fantasy shades of stark white and impenetrable darkness, and in that split second, beneath such a glaring light, he was faced with the beauty of his new addiction. Lying there, covered only from the waist down by a thin, white, cotton sheet, his tall, somewhat gangly form, was covered by smooth, pale skin that, under such light, resembled marble under moonlight. He was trim and fit, his arms muscular and his hands slightly calloused, strong but…always so gentle with him. The dark mop of unruly hair atop his head, like solid night, framed an angular, somewhat sorrowful face.

Lost in his sudden reverie, Mitskuni had forgotten the storm, until the light began to fade and thunder cracked like a cannon in the night, forcing the small boy back into reality. He felt something within him break, his mind running too quickly against his desires, and his head fell heavy into his hands, tears ready to spill from bright blue eyes, only waiting for the chance. As if sensing the smaller boy's discomfort, his roommate groaned as he pulled himself from slumber, rolling up onto on elbow to better face the blonde.

"Mitskuni," He whispered, his voice deep with sleep and left over sex, "What's wrong?"

Takashi's statements were blunt and to the point, as normal, but there is often a lack for words when actions mean as much as much as his normally do. Rising slowly from his supine position on the bed, the taller boy placed his hands upon the smaller boys shoulders, running them down along his chest and placing his chin in the crook of the boy's neck. The blonde breathed in sharply, surprised at the sudden warmth that enveloped him, his desire fighting to conquer his mind, at least for this one moment, as he shook his head and fell back slightly into the other's embrace.

Don't let me think…

There were a pair of lips on his neck, he could feel the heartbeat begin to race in the chest he was pressed up against; for the first time since he had awoken that night, he was truly warm. He heard himself moan as one of those hands, so slowly massaging chest, slipped lower, lightly gripping his more needy parts. It was just a brush, the lightest of touches allowed to flit against his hardness before the hand moved on to massaging the insides of the small boy's thighs, and thus the teasing began. Mistukuni was quickly becoming accustomed to the fact that his lover had a fetish for torture, though maybe not the kind that many would think of when they hear the word. It was always a game to start, at least for him, and the blonde had yet to find another game that could make him both love and hate it at the same time. There was a trail of moist kisses slowly making its way toward his ear and a versatile hand slowly edging its way toward his groin when the larger boy suddenly shifted, lowering Hunny to the bed with his free arm and continuing his ministrations with the other.

Just let me act…

The young boy prayed to the nothingness around him as he felt a rush of hot air rush into his ear, causing him to jump and gasp. Mori had managed to position himself on top of the younger boy in the split second it took for him to think that single thought, his bulk hovering over the smaller boys frame, pale skin against a darkened room. The younger boy's eyes were glazed over when they came back into view, one hand still silently working between the blonde's legs and, finally, Hunny's mind stopped trying to work. There was no more reason, no more thought, he simply let his body act. His hips ground upward, trying to find the taunting hand that touched him everywhere but where he needed it, and at the same time, his thin arms wrapped themselves around the taller boys neck and pulled him closer.

He could hear himself moan as their lips finally touched, that needy fire once again burning deep inside of him, consuming him in a way that demanded completion no matter the consequences. He could feel the other boys tongue working at his lips, trying to force itself deeper inside of him and he grinned into that pressure. Just as the thought he might try taunting back, he felt five nimble fingers wrap themselves gently around his manhood and, in trying to gasp, found his mouth full of the other boy. It was a frustrating pleasure as he ground himself into the other boy's hand, digging his fingertips into the other boys back at the sensations rolling through him. His small fingers dug deeper as the younger boy's grip suddenly tightened and he felt more than heard the groan that the lanky frame above him attempted to let out.

He likes it.

The thought didn't seem as odd as it should have when he came to the sudden realization the other boy enjoyed the pain of his fingers digging into his skin. Hunny let the thought roll about his head for just a moment, contemplating the thought of pain combined with pleasure while his body did what it wished, until he felt the teeth. The younger boy had let his mouth slip off of Hunny's mouth, quickly making its way to his collar where it began with a simple nip that quickly multiplied into a full force bite. The blonde gasped at the feeling of the teeth sinking deeper. Though they didn't break skin, the pressure was slowly getting closer and, against all reason that his mind could muster from its currently clouded living space, he almost wanted them to.

"Takashi…"

His voice was ragged as he tried to pull himself closer to the chest that still hovered above him, so close and yet so far. His fingers continued to dig in deeper as the younger boy continued to tease him in every way he could think of. After what felt like an eternity to the blonde, the pleasure that was pain left his shoulder, the teeth moving with the mouth up towards his ear where a dark head of hair whispered hoarsly,

"Are you ready?"

"Please…"

It was all he could get out, all he could think as the other boy pressed himself atop his small frame. He could hear his breath coming in ragged gasps as the younger boy began to push his legs apart, lifting them and pinning them back with a pair of thin but muscular arms. There was a moment of clarity where time seemed to stop where the blonde suddenly remembered what he was doing and he almost panicked, but then his lover's breath was hot on his face and something hard and throbbing was pressed against his entrance and he forgot just as quickly any reservations he might have had.

The entrance was slow and gentle, as always, and almost painfully so. He wanted this, needed it now, and his lover already knew how much the wait would drive him toward madness, but that was all part of the fun. Soon the wait was over, he was filled and the other boy's head was tilted back in a combination of pure joy, but also deep concentration. He couldn't move yet, he couldn't risk hurting the frail form beneath him. Sometimes the older boy wished that he would just move, he didn't want to be treated like a doll, not at a time like this, but he never had much time to think about it, because the younger boy's will could only stretch so far. He pulled out slightly and then slid himself back in, groaning nearly the entire time. Mistsukuni grinned at the pleasure he could bring the other boy and then groaned himself as the other boy's cock stroked that place deep inside of him that made him arc his back and beg for more.

"Yes, Takashi!"

His voice was little more than a harsh whisper, but in the silence of the night it seemed as if it were an earth-shattering cry, and it was all the signal that the seme needed to proceed. Thrust after thrust, they were like a single work of flesh and blood, working together as one toward a single end. The younger boy grunted with his effort and the older gasped at the plethora of pleasure that washed through him, wave upon wave. Somewhere in the distance, lightning split the sky again and there was a crack of thunder that seemed to render all else silent, and in that moment the blonde met his lovers eyes and remembered why he always hated himself afterwards. There was something deeper than sex in those eyes that looked down at him, something more than simple physical attraction and, once again, something inside him broke. At the same time, though, something entirely different within him released and he felt himself call out unintelligibly into the darkness as he came. The pleasure wiped his mind for just that moment, the feeling of the younger boy above him and inside him, the sounds that Mori made as he followed suit and released himself inside of the younger boy, the feeling of being filled, everything combining into a type of pleasure that could destroy any fear…but only for a moment.

As he lay there in the aftermath, the younger boy collapsed just to his one side, his warmth still pressed so close against his skin, Mitsukuni thought about all the things he wished he could forget. His breathing was already heavy and rasping, but even through that he could hear it crack as his eyes welled up and he knew that the other boy would be worried given any more time, he had to run now.

In an instant, he jumped from the bed and launched himself across the room, tears already streaming down his face. He doubted he would have made it, what with his partners much longer legs, had Mori not been entangled in the sheets when he made his move. The room was like a blur around him as he dashed into the bathroom, slamming the door and nearly sliding across the room as he hit the tile floor. Scrambling at the lock, the blonde sank to the floor and leaned back against the solid form of the door. He was shivering he realized after a moment, though not really caring about it, the floor was cold, he was covered in sweat and other body fluids and the only source of warmth that he really wanted was on the other side of the door.

"Gomen ne…"

He muttered into his knees as his pulled them to his chin and wrapped his arms around them. By now, Takashi had managed to untangle himself from the sheets and was trying to call to him softly through the door. He didn't know what to say, what to do, his mind was racing with a thousand blank thoughts and all he really knew was that he was sorry and he didn't fully understand why.

'I can't want this.' He thought, 'I'm just bringing him down with me. Everytime I let this happen, I just let him continue to believe that everything will be alright, but it can't be…not this way. Love can't be like this, not me, not him, not a clinging hope in the dark to make the daytime fears go away for a time. A pretty girl, a perfect scenario, that's love…but it can't be this. I've got to stop it, before I lead him on too far…I can't want you, I just want your warmth. Please don't hate me.'

So many thoughts, so much pain, but all of it was leading him nowhere except to the same phrase muttered over and over into empty space.

"Gomen ne…Gomen ne…"

His words were like a mantra. He balled his fists into his already disheveled blonde hair and buried his face further into his knees as he continued to repeat them over and over. Beneath him the tile was cold and that cold was seeping into his skin. Behind him he could hear Takashi, he was talking, but he wasn't saying anything. Everything was a blur, something lost to the night as his mind whirled around and his heart tried to tell him things that he didn't fully comprehend. Eventually he felt himself slip to one side until he lay in the fetal position upon the cold tile, the door still to his back. Takashi had stopped talking and everything had gone quite, except for the thunder as it crackled and rolled outside. He counted the lightning as it flashed under the door, leaving a single streak of light across the room where his body didn't block it. One…two…three…and eventually, he slept.

It was several hours later when he woke up, cramped and cold on the tile floor. He stretched himself out slightly before attempting to stand up only to meet himself in the large mirror that hung over the sink. His eyes were red and only slightly puffy, there was a large, purplish bite mark just above his left collar bone that only stung slightly when he touch it, and, most embarrassingly, there was dried semen on his chest and stomach. Trying not to think too much, Mitsukuni turned the shower on until it began to steam from the other side of the sliding glass door and he proceeded to shower, scrubbing himself as if trying to remove a layer of dirt that wasn't there. He was rubbing one of his arms red when he felt the first tear fall and he sunk to the bottom of the tub, the shower head splashing water off of his head and back as he tried to both stand and wrap his arms around his knees at the same time. Something inside him wondered why it hurt so much. Not physically, it never hurt physically, he always felt loose when it was over, like his body had been taken apart piece by piece and then, rather lackadaisically, put back together. No, he wondered why his heart hurt so much.

Pulling in a shaky breath, he stood back up and let the shower wash the tears from his face before he returned to his rhythmic scrubbing. It was another twenty minutes before he finally stepped from the bath and managed to dry himself off, a good deal more clean and at least a small bit calmer. He picked up a white button down shirt that was lying on the floor and slipped it on. It was many sizes to big and obviously Takashi's, why it was in the bathroom was anyone's guess, but it most likely had to do with last night's events. Slowly he buttoned up the front of the shirt, flattening the wrinkles absent mindedly as he looked at himself in the mirror once again. His eyes were less red and no longer puffy, he was no longer naked and his still wet hair was plastered to the top of his head. All in all, he looked a good bit more respectable than he did when he first woke up, but he still had one ordeal left to conquer.

He flicked the lock on the door and opened it as quietly as he could, hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe, Takashi wouldn't be there. A quick look would seem to imply this. He wasn't in the bed nor the chair nor standing anywhere in the room, but then Hunny looked down.

He must have fallen asleep waiting for me to come out.

The blonde felt a twinge of guilt looking at the tall and very naked boy who was sprawled in a very uncomfortable looking position just to the other side of the door. As quietly as he could, Mitsukuni stepped over the other's prone form and made it almost all the way to the dresser where his clothes where kept before he felt the hand on his shoulder.

Shit.