A/N: This is the first fanfiction I have written in five years. I hope all of you enjoy it. Coming up with the idea for this wasn't particularly easy, but when I thought of writing about George after Fred's death, I immediately knew that I had to do it. I want all of you to feel George's emotions as you're reading them. I want this to be the best fanfiction you will ever read. Please review, and critique me as you see fit. This is for everyone who wants to remember Fred Weasley, and for all of you Harry Potter fans out there who have stuck by him throughout the years. I dedicate this fanfic to everyone who appreciates captivating, heart wrenching stories that you wish you could be a part of. If you're a Harry Potter fan, though, that's a given.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They are all J.K. Rowling's.

What Hangs In The Balance

Chapter One: The Settling Dust

Looking around at all of the people milling about, I felt like none of them were real. I didn't want them to be real. I didn't want any of it to be real. I had been sitting in the same spot for an eternity, or at least it seemed like it was an eternity. I was probably only sitting there for twenty minutes, maybe even less than that. But I didn't care how long I would have to sit there to make it all go away. That was all that I wanted: for all of it to disappear. I wanted Fred to come back, and that was it. Nothing else mattered at the moment. You-Know-Who was dead, but so was my brother. I didn't know whether to feel elated or empty, so I felt a bit of both. All right, I felt a lot more empty than elated. But it was the end of the war after all. Everyone around me had given a sigh of relief, so why hadn't I?

I kept looking over at him, not wanting to believe what I had seen. He had always been there for me, and suddenly he was just… gone. His body was there but he, he wasn't. I would have given anything to have just one last talk with him, just one goodbye before he had to go. I wasn't even there when it happened. I don't even know what I was doing when it happened. I was too afraid to ask Percy or Ron about it. It wasn't the right time, and I had a feeling that if I knew, I would blame myself even more than I already had. I wasn't even sure if I could speak. I hadn't spoken at all.

For just a split second, right after I saw Harry take off the Invisibility Cloak and face You-Know-Who in the courtyard, I turned to tell him. I said, "Fred! Fred, Harry's alive!" And then that horrible, sinking realization hit me all over again. Everything happened so fast… Neville had already cut the great snake's head off, and after that there were about a dozen flashes of light in every direction. I had to gain all of my strength back after that one moment just so I could defend myself. All I could do was run into the castle and hide. I hid like a little child in the girl's lavatory. It was the first place I could get to that hadn't been blasted away. I don't recall how long I stayed in there, but I just couldn't fight. I could barely comprehend what was going on. I was in a state of panic and grief, both at the same time. For the first time in my life, I had felt like a useless coward.

But now the war was over, and I watched silently as my family all comforted each other. Ginny was crying on Mum's shoulder. They were both looking at the motionless sheet that covered my twin brother as if they were expecting him to get up and start walking around. I wished that he would. I wished that I could do anything, anything to bring him back.

I couldn't look at the sheet anymore. I kept thinking that I was seeing it move, but it was just the breeze that was making it ripple back and forth. Watching that sheet was torture. My thoughts felt like they were exploding. Half of me was gone. Half of me no longer existed. It had been blasted away, stolen before I even had a chance to save it. I could have saved him. I could have if I had been there with him.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I had to get out of there.

As if bitten by something, I shot up so abruptly that my entire family looked around. All of their eyes were filled with the same emotion: that hot, sticky guilt that felt like fire upon my skin. I knew what they were thinking. He looks just like him. He could very well be Fred. I wish it were George who had died instead. He'll never be the same again. We'll never be the same again.

Oh God, just shut up. They didn't even say anything, yet I heard their voices loud and clear in my head. Bloody hell. This had to be a nightmare. Surely this was some kind of joke. Fred was going to pop up and give us all a right scare, and say, "I got you!" Quite the prank, Freddie. You had us all going. You really had us going there, you know.

I strode as quickly as I could out the Great Hall, past the rows of sheets and out the door. I heard nothing but the sobs of a widow, the cries of an orphan. We were all feeling the same thing… though this had to be different. This was different. No one in there knew this. The Patils were alive and well. They were the only other set of twins that I could think of. So no, they had no idea what I was feeling. They had no clue.

It didn't matter anyway. Nothing mattered anymore. What was I to do after this? Would there even be an after? Would the day ever end? The joke shop… Fred, what about our dream? How can it be our dream when you're not here? How can it be my dream when it was ours? I can't just pretend like nothing ever happened, Freddie. I can't do this. Oh fuck, I can't do this.

After a few minutes of walking through the debris and rubble from the battle, I was at the edge of the Black Lake. I looked out onto the water, resting my hands above my head and breathing so fast that I was sure I was going to pass out. I stood there and rocked back and forth, praying for some kind of sign to show me what to do. I felt like I was stuck in a moment that would never end.

I took my hands off of my head and starting walking in circles. I was crazy. I was crazed. Life didn't exist. Nothing existed. I certainly didn't exist at that moment. What was I breathing? Was it air? It felt like poison going through me. I kept getting the idea in my head that I wanted to walk into the lake and never come back up, but then I would see Mum in my head and I cursed myself for even thinking such a thing. She's already lost one son, George, don't make her lose another.

She's already lost one son oh fuck, Fred, fuck you. You were supposed to be invincible and now look at you! How could you? How could you leave?

"How could you leave?" I whispered. I was talking to no one. He wasn't there. He couldn't be, he was dead. Dead. The word itself seems to collapse in your mouth as you say it.

"Dead."

And just like that, I started crying. I hadn't cried at all since I saw him lying there. It must have been the shock of it, I suppose, or maybe I just didn't want to believe what I was seeing. Perhaps I refused to cry because the tears would blur my vision, and I was hoping that I would look up and see him walking through the Great Hall doors like nothing had happened. No, that couldn't have been Fred. That had to be our long lost… triplet that we never met. Yeah... yeah, we had to have been triplets. Who cares who it was, it just wasn't Fred. That much I was certain of when I saw who was lying in that cot. It wasn't him.

I continued to cry, even though I didn't want to. I honestly thought that I wouldn't. I thought I was too grown up to do such a thing. It turns out that you can never be too grown up for something like crying.

Fuck, Fred, I wish you were here. Why can't you just be here with me? I need you. I need to talk to you. There are so many things that I still want to say and I can't say them. I can't say them, because if I say them out loud… if I tell them to the sky, then that means you're not here. And you are here. You are. You're just… ugh. Stop lying to yourself. Just stop. Oh, God.

This just can't be real. Will I ever smile again, Freddie? Will I ever laugh or joke again? How can I when you were the one I laughed with? How, Freddie, tell me how?

Before I knew it, I had crumpled to the ground and sat with my legs crossed. All I could do was hold my head in my hands and cry, cry, cry. I didn't know when I would stop. I didn't know if I could stop at all. It felt good to let it out, at least. It would never make me happy, but it was something.

It took awhile for my heart to stop pounding as hard as it was, but my breath began to slow back to its regular pace. I kept closing and opening my eyes. When they were open, you were gone. When they closed, I saw your lifeless face. It was awful either way. I couldn't decide which was worse. They were both worse than the other, if that's possible. I was blinking myself into hell.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of crunching grass and looked up to see Harry walking toward me. He was covered head to toe in dirt and blood, more so than any other person I had seen inside. I couldn't help but feel this was a bittersweet moment. Here was Harry, the Boy Who Lived, the one we had all been fighting for and with to defeat You-Know-Who, the one who had defeated You-Know-Who, and I was so angry with him. I was angry for no reason, because I knew that he never wanted any of this. He was a baby when You-Know-Who tried to kill him. He didn't have a choice in it.

Even after those thoughts, I was still angry.

Harry sat with me at the edge of the lake, saying nothing. I didn't want to cry in front of him, so I just stared out at the water. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke.

"George, I'm not going to say that I know how you're feeling, because I really don't…" he said softly, "but I'm here for you. We all are."

"You don't need to do this, you know."

I said it as quickly as a knife plunging into skin. That's what it felt like to talk, anyway. I felt like a dagger was ripping away at my insides. There was a lump in my throat so huge that I wondered if I'd ever be able to swallow properly again.

"I know. I'm just putting it out there," Harry said.

"Well, thanks, but I want to be alone right now. I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

I didn't look at him, but I could hear the slight smile in his voice.

"I dunno," I mumbled. The lump in my throat continued to swell. I felt like I was going to cry again, but I held it in for the sake of keeping the conversation to a minimum.

"Whenever you're ready, George, just… we'll be there, all right?"

I gave a slight nod.

"All right."

Harry gripped my shoulder tightly before he got up and started walking back toward the castle. I turned my head and watched him go, feeling even more empty than I did before. I felt horrible that I was angry with him.

What was I angry about? Fred knew what he had signed up for… we all did. And for Harry to say that he didn't know how I was feeling was… I didn't even have a word for it. He had lost more loved ones than any of us. His parents, Sirius, Dumbledore… now Lupin and Tonks… and… Fred. And who would die next? We would all die someday, I knew that much. Would I be the last one standing? Would I go through this same emotion seven more times as each member of my family met death one by one? I couldn't even bear the thought.

The sun had been up for awhile now, and it shone through the trees like bright candlelight streaming through a doorway. I wondered if you were up there. I wondered if you could see me, if you were laughing at my childishness and yelling at me to get the hell up and stop blubbering. Imagining it made my mouth twitch.

I was a second away from smiling, but then I remembered that I didn't want that. I didn't want you to be up there.

I wanted you to be down there with me, at the edge of the lake.

But you weren't. And you never would be again.

A/N: Oh man, you have no idea how much I cried while writing this. I realize it's somewhat short, but I intended for it to be that way. The rest of the chapters will most likely be much longer. This is only the beginning. Just you wait.

No, seriously, you'll have to wait a week or two until the next chapter. But meanwhile, please review and tell me what you think so far. Thanks in advance!