DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HP!

Dear Insufferable Brat,

You've confirmed my long and tireless theory of your insanity brat; either that or you have a suicide wish. In that case, all you have to do is send me your address and I'd be happy to oblige you; one less nuisance in the world. But before we get into the matter of your death, wait, this is related to that, so do pay attention. Anyways, I did read your letter rather thoroughly; after all, it isn't every day that your arch enemy sends you a letter. Not to mention brat, that my location is currently Unplottable, so I am curious as to how you managed to send a letter to me anyways. And that if your owl doesn't stop glaring at me, you might not have an owl when you get this letter. Oh yes, I forgot that the Order of Fried Chicken would be suspicious if I sent back a foreign owl. Pity.

I also noticed the multiple times you, ahem, misspelled my name. I do believe that I have warned you to never call me by my ridiculous muggle name. I do, however, have to commend you on your nerve…either that, or your sheer stupidity. You addressed the envelope to:

Tom Marvolo Riddle

A.K.A. Lord Voldemort

Evil Unknown Place

Somewhere =D

Insane little brat, you are. Had you not thought about the possible repercussions of your actions? Did you even stop to think that the barmy old goat might be screening your mail like that foul toad you had as a teacher last year did? If any of my Death Eaters discovered the letter through interception-not that I do that, it's just far too annoying, and I already know they don't tell you anything- it would've been burned before it would get to me, or maybe they would've read to humor themselves. And I certainly don't want them to realize my muggle heritage, even though my Inner Circle already know, since you felt it you duty to inform them. Thank you so much (I'm sure you can read sarcasm as well as you can speak it, brat). It matters not, however, because I wiped Bella's memory of my half-blood status, and I will do so to the rest of my Inner Circle, should they make it out of Azkaban in one piece. If they don't, this won't be the last letter you get. And the next one won't be just a letter.

Now, on to your questions. I can practically see your shocked expression, brat, so close your mouth and read. *smirks* Let's start with the History of Magic exam, shall we? I know Binns; he taught me when I was at Hogwarts. Even I fell asleep in that class, brat, and you were already sleepy; it just took a bit of persuasion for you to take a light nap. Were you aware that you were already half-asleep when I sent you the vision? It went perfectly, and it would've stayed that way had Dumbledore not interfered *growls*. You would be dead or captured and I would rule the world, such a lovely thought (I can see you making faces at the parchment, Potter, no, I'm not in the room, spying on you, though that thought is just as nice…).

Your other two questions are just as easy as the first one. I was egging you on through our link, it was tremendously satisfactory to watch Dumbledore's little Golden Boy tarnish while using an Unforgivable. It was quite powerful, and despite what Bella said, it did hurt her, though she was reluctant to admit it. And to your last question; why should I bother doing it when someone else could do it for me, it was much more fun to see you get in trouble, brat. Now, are you satisfied, you little menace, because if you are not, the next letter won't be a letter.

Sincerely (you'd better),

The Big Bad Dark Lord