notes: Aaaaaah! I'm so sorry about how long this took to get out. I had a really hard time writing it becuase I realized this story didn't go the way I thought it would at all and sometimes I reread it and am like this is terrible! But the only way to fix it is to keep writing I guess X_x either way I should just appreciate it for what it is I guess instead of dissapointed in what it isn't and was suposed to be. oooooh well, at least this chapter is good! ;) thanks for reading, love ya guys!

Losing My Religion

Part 8

Wide blue eyes blinked once, then twice. He couldn't have heard that right. Or Bon had hit his head way too hard... Then slowly Rin said, "you sure about that?"

Bon smirked and released a small chuckle. "You're sucha idiot," formed on the last breath of laughter making the words soft like a whisper or a sigh. He pushed himself up on his one elbow still against the ground to meet Rin halfway.

The third time both boys were ready for it so they let their eyes fall shut as their lips met. Rin was still in slight shock that Bon was kissing him, and Bon's head was still a bit fuzzy from his fall, but all in all, it was amazing on both ends.

At first, the pressure was so scant it felt to Rin like the one beneath him was entirely made up of something as delicate and light as cherry blossoms. It was so ethereal. His head felt like a cloud rising to the roof of the atmosphere or like he'd spun in too many circles to stay upright. Not that he knew, or cared to know, which way was was up at this point. What was his own name even?

On a soft breath, "Rin," was whispered out between their barely touching lips.

Oh yeah, how could he ever forget. His name was so wonderful. At least that's what it was as it sounded airily from Bon. Maybe then it was just the voice itself that was so wonderful. Though his brain knew enough to command the release of endorphins on its own, it couldn't process a more sublimated response, and so pausing to answer the address wasn't even an option.

Wanting to feel the moment solidified, he pressed down harder and found that by using a slight suction he could catch Bon's lower lip between his. A barely audible moan rumbled deep in his throat at the rush it achieved. It became very real all in that instant. Rin placed one palm down and very clearly felt the hardness of the fit body below it and tasted the salt of the others lips. Their softness contrasted deeply with the scratching of Bon's goatee against his own smooth skin as Rin's jaw moved. There had to be an angle that would let him closer somehow.

Rin crawled over the other without allowing their lips to part. Partially hunched over, he swivled around the hand he had planted on the floor next to Bon's shoulder, readjusting until he was on hands and knees over top of the supine teen with thighs gripping his hips on either side. He leaned down enough so his forearms rested on the floor as the two continued to kiss. The dance of their lips against one another was mildly clumsy and Rin's teeth were a bit sharp for how hard he nipped at Bon. But one couldn't expect to find the perfect combination of gentle response and subtle aggression on their very first try. Rin had never even had the hope of another wanting to kiss him, and so what he lacked in refinement he made up for with enthusiasm. Besides, Bon didn't seem to mind the rough treatment at all. He kept pace just fine, encouraging Rin when he parted his lips a fraction. Their tongues slid against each other briefly and though it wasn't something either of them had learned, they both instinctively knew in that moment how to stoke the passion by opening up to let the kiss become a messy, wet, and desperately lively affair. Rin shifted his weight so he could move one of his supporting hands to smooth over the others abdomen, tracing the ridges of his abs through his shirt. Being touched like that forced an involuntary moan out of Bon. Its deep richness reeled Rin in by the hormones without his partner even knowing it, and the fervor it lit soon had him pushing against him until he'd forced his head back against the floor.

Bon took in a sharp breath, the air hissing as it passed through his now clenched teeth, and winced slightly. At the indication of pain, Rin pulled away by dragging his hands back along the floor towards his knees and moved up onto his haunches over top Bon. His backside brushed lightly against the crotch of the boy's pants with the movement.

"Ahh, sorry!" he blurted and jumped up to his feet, face feeling near scarlet. Brown eyes blinked up at him from the ground. The owner of said eyes looking no less flustered than Rin himself. His hormones were rampant, his temperature up, and he could feel another part of him starting to rise as well. He couldn't stop his teenage body from responding nor his heart from working double time. Seeing Rin all dishevelled like that wasn't helping either. His gaze shifted to the side as Bon found himself feeling a little shy of looking at the others flushed face any longer.

"Not a problem," his voice came out as gruff as if he'd been sleeping. He cleared his throat quickly, " I'm fine." He sat up and reached one arm behind his head to assess the damage. Tenderly, he poked at his skull and grimaced at the feel of a very large bump.

"Here, lemme see," Rin crouched down behind him and swatted his hand out of the way. His slender fingers threaded gently at first through yellow spikes as he tried to see past all the hair. A delicious current ran its way down Bon's spine and he had to suppress a shiver at his body's hopeful anticipation. Rin then pressed his thumb up against the wound, and his body forgot arousal as he was severely disappointed to receive pain

"Ow! Be careful, idiot!" he hissed and flinched away from the clumsy touch.

"Pffft! There's nothing even there, you big baby!" Rin chided then stood, moving in front of the boy on the floor to offer him a hand up. Bon ignored the help, sending Rin a glare which he failed to receive [his blue gaze being paused somewhere below where it was necessary to make eye contact], and instead got to his feet by himself.

Rin noticed then that Bon's striped shirt was splashed full of tea, and so he scanned the ground for the missing cup. Mostly so he wouldn't have to look straight at the other. Miraculously it lay unbroken on the linoleum two meters to the left. Rin hurried to fetch it from the ground. He was hyper-conscious of his own breath, which was somehow now difficult to keep rhythmic, and of the swirling tension in his loins. While moving to place the cup from his sweaty palms into the sink, he diligently kept his eyes averted from the other teen who still stood, silent and unmoving, in the middle of the kitchen. Rin could feel that sharp gaze of Bon's at his back, exciting every molecule of his being like microwaves. He felt he might explode somehow, probably in the form of tackling the larger boy to the ground again and having his way, if he couldn't calm himself. He let a deep but silent sigh shudder through his lungs, and reminded his body who was in control here... Even if it was by the mere width of a hair...

What was he supposed to say to the other now? Rin had never been anything more than awkward with these kind of things. What excuse could he possibly give Bon for his actions? Obviously, 'I tripped onto the table then fell on your lips,' wouldn't work, but the truth would just have to if the response he got from the other was any indication. Bon had liked it... But enough to do it again like Rin so badly wanted to? Or was it only the deed he liked but not with Rin in particular. He used to be able to count on one hand all the people in the world who didn't hate him up until he started attending the true cross. It was hard to believe anyone could like him enough to have a romantic relationship with him given the level of self esteem having most people he met rather have him dead brought.

'Just don't fuck this up like you usually do,' he lectured himself thrice and then, steeling his nerves, turned to face the music.

Bon stood staring in his direction, but his eyes were focused somewhere on the empty air separating them. A rosy blush dusted his cheeks. He looked lost in private dreams or thoughts and as Rin realized just how attractive the other was, his knees, and resolve, grew weak. He just couldn't handle a rejection from Bon, he liked him too much, and that freaked him right out.

"Hey, I can lend you a clean shirt if you want," is what he said. So much safer than talking about what had happened and risking a stupid joke or a careless jibe. Those kinds of things were always the first to tumble from Rin's mouth when he felt this nervous, he rarely could say the right words and, so, was afraid of cheapening the moment or worse, making Bon feel bad about or regret it.

Bon's attention seemed to return swiftly to Earth and he replied, "ummm, yeah, okay." Rin departed the kitchen without another word, and he tailed after him in a daze.

When they arrived at the twin's bedroom, Bon hung back in the doorway while Rin got right to rummaging through one of the drawers. He pulled a black T-shirt from it and then practically rushed from the small room, tossing the clothing at the other as he neatly sidestepped him on the way out. Bon watched his hasty retreat down the hall, feeling like he'd already said something wrong even though he was still trying to figure out what it was that he should say to the other. Though he'd been the one to start it, Rin was now turning tail, acting all scared of him, and being taciturn. Bon was confused as fuck now, but he'd be damned if he let the half-demon get away without an explanation.

Back at the kitchen, Rin was getting ready the dishes and cutlery... and having a minor meltdown. In his head swirled worry and regret. He just knew Bon was going to come in there any minute and say something to him. Something like how; no one else could ever know what had happened. They should just forget it ever happened. It was a mistake on his part. Rin wasn't good enough for him. He was disgusted by it. They couldn't be friends anymore.

Each sentence he imagined coming from Bon's mouth was worse than the last. Why did he never think before acting? He cursed himself.

As he was just finishing setting down the meal, Bon made his reappearance. He stood at the doorway with a moderate flush on his cheeks that only slightly ruined the serious look he wore, and determinately waited for Rin to cast his attention his way.

Rin felt the atmosphere become heavy and was eventually forced to acknowledge the other teen. He turned to face him, and the first thing he noticed was how the borrowed shirt, being a size or so too small, clung snugly to Bon's frame. Nevertheless he definitely thought the larger boy had a nice enough body that he could pull off the look. He blushed and then cursed himself four-fold this time.

"Rin," his sharp eyes somehow commanded the demon-boy's to meet him. How was it that he managed to make himself authoritative while looking the way he did? Maybe it was that air in particular which Bon held about him at times that set Rin's rebellious nature loose. Time and again making him want to argue and clash. This time though, he silently obeyed the call for attention. He was too humbled by the power Bon wielded over his own emotions, too frightened of how he knew the other could effortlessly hurt him, to start a fight. He steeled his blue gaze though, locking his insecurities inside. He still had his pride. "We need to talk."