Disclaimer: I would tell you that I owned the Inheritance Cycle, but then Saphira would probably torch me to death. So I think you know the answer.

Author's Note: I am sure this has already been done before, but this little one-shot forced me to write it and I am helpless. So here is another humble offering to the Eragon fandom. Also, please don't get me wrong as I am NOT making fun of Christianity, the Bible, or religion in general. I try not to do that in my works and think that religion and fanfiction shouldn't really mix. Still, I couldn't resist once the idea struck and I tried to fashion the real Ten Commandments (most of which make a lot of sense actually) after the way Saphira would probably say it. The last line at the end was just for fun and to catch you off-guard.

I hope you like it!

The Ten Commandments of Eragon Shadeslayer:

{As written in fire by Saphira Brightscales}

I am Saphira, your dragon, who brought you out of Carvahal (aka the Land of Patheticness) and out of General Stupidity. Thou shalt have no other dragons before me.

I am your dragon so thou shalt not carve images of other dragons or female elves no matter how hot they look. For I Saphira Brightscales am a jealous dragon and besides, it's a little disturbing to see you wanking off every night to a pathetic statue of Arya.

Thou shalt not take the name of Saphira Brightscales in vain, nor shalt thou take me and our Bond for granted.

Remember the seventh day of the week for it is that day that I can actually sleep all day long and thou shalt not disturb my slumber!

Honour Arya's wishes. I know you don't want to, but you should. Also, don't forget to honour the wishes of Nasuada, the elf queen, king Orik, Roran, or Katrina. Did I miss any?

You shalt not violate your powers

Thou shalt not ogle other women or elves for they get pissed when you do, so do their mates.

Thou shalt not steal a dragon's Heart of Hearts

Thou shalt not lie about Murtagh's innocence even though you swant revenge, try not to lie in general.

You shalt not covet any other Rider's dragon, nor their sword, nor anyone's palaces, nor Arya, nor any other mate's elf, nor any other dragon's Rider, nor any sword, nor, any dark magic.

So let it be written. So let it be done. These are the words of Saphira Brightscales, Dragon of Eragon Shadeslayer, Last Free Dragon of the New Order of Dragon Riders...

...Now what's for dinner?

A/N: The End! Like it? Love it? Hate it? Leave a review on your thoughts of this fanfic, so that I can make this even better yet!

This piece of fanfiction was brought to you by...

...The Winter Wizard

P.S. Feel free to check out his profile for any more fanfics!