A/N: This is.. I don't even. xD
I got the idea for this ages ago and it just wouldn't go away? xD I was thinking I could just make a one shot out of it but I kinda see the potential for a full story xD But it won't be long like my other one (I don't have much time to write from September really - I'm going abroad for a few months).
Warning - This is like.. complete crack xD! No relation to any of my other stories at all = Miles and Phoenix are back to being jackasses towards each other.. yay.. LOL.
Thanks for reading~
~ Prologue ~
Kay Faraday had recently discovered an amazing gadget. This particular gadget, she had found in the depths of the Black Market in the darkest corner of the main district area of Los Angeles.
This is totally cool!
The gadget was a pair of exquisite pink handcuffs with an elaborate heart design. These handcuffs were special, according to the Black Market retailer-
"The ones locked by these handcuffs are destined to be bound together until they tell the truth: the utmost truth. To unlock the locks, they must honestly solve any problems deep within their heart. It is the perfect cure for a broken friendship, it helps to solve differences and uncover lies."
"I could really do with these. Not sure who I should test them on first though," Kay mused to herself, shaking the handcuffs. A hollow clanging noise resounded when the two cuffs making contact.
I can't wait to show this to Mr Edgeworth! Maybe it would finally persuade him to take me on as his official assistant.. He could totally use this in some of his investigations!
Grinning to herself, Kay jogged down cold stone stairs to the subway station, to catch the next train.
x|x|x|x
"Checkmate."
Phoenix froze.
"..You got me."
The prosecutor at the opposite side of the chess table flashed a condescending smirk at Phoenix.
"Another win for my reds I see."
"Hah…"
The defence attorney sighed, using his right hand to sweep his blue chess pieces onto his left palm. He lightly tossed them into the box beside the chess table, piece by piece.
"I honestly don't know why I bother sometimes, Edgeworth," he smiled wryly. "You're certainly a force to be reckoned with. Even in a game of chess."
"Of course Wright, chess does demand a degree of logic: if you don't have the logic you can't make the game," Miles smirked. "Someone like you, who bluffs his way through a court case, couldn't possibly understand that - hm?"
"Point taken Edgeworth," Phoenix muttered back.
And ignored with a gusto.
After throwing the last piece into the box, Phoenix stretched and rose from his padded chair.
"Well Edgeworth, it was nice spending my afternoon playing chess with you," he chuckled, shooting an amused look at the prosecutor, who flinched when they made eye contact.
"I do have other pastimes Wright.."
"..Right. I believe you Edgeworth. Really."
He's such a liar.
"Time for me to head back to the office-"
"I'M HOME!"
Phoenix spun round in alarm. Kay Faraday had burst into the room out of the blue, the door swung helplessly on its hinges as she strode briskly up to the two lawyers.
"Oh hi! Mr Wright! How are you today?"
"I'm great thanks Kay," Phoenix smiled comfortably at her. "I see you're rather energetic today-"
"When isn't she?" Miles cut in, exasperated. "I'm not happy about how you treat my door on a daily basis, Kay-"
"The door comes second Mr Edgeworth!" Kay interrupted, listlessly. "Look what I managed to get a hold of!"
Feeling extremely proud of herself, Kay held out her set of pink handcuffs. She flashed them her trademark toothy grin. Phoenix and Miles stared at the handcuffs, dumbfounded.
"And this proves, what Kay?" Miles asked, patiently. He crossed his arms and tapped his finger against his arm, in a gesture that disguised his growing irritation.
"Well I got this from the Black Market-"
"No Kay."
Kay gaped. "At the very least hear me out!"
"Anything from the Black Market spells trouble Kay. I didn't think you were the type to loiter in such parts of Los Angeles anyway.." Miles rolled his eyes and drew an exasperated breath.
"Come on Edgeworth, at least hear her out?" Phoenix suggested, tentatively. "I'm sure it's an awesome gadget! Even though it er, clearly does just look like a normal set of-" he gulped and blushed. "- handcuffs," he finished, snickering.
I doubt he'll ever figure out the sexual symbolism behind handcuffs though.
Miles after giving Phoenix an incredulous look, sighed and inclined his head. His eyes had a glimpse of apprehension though.
"Alright Kay, humour me with your fantastic finding."
"Finally! Well.." she cleared her throat before continuing. "Ahem! This pair of handcuffs can help unlock any secret in the world between two people, it can repair broken relationships, it's amazing! It only works when two people are locked together though-"
"Honestly Kay? I wouldn't believe in that poppycock.."
"It's true Mr Edgeworth! The nice lady selling it told me-"
"Of course she did Kay. Because she wanted to sell the item-"
Kay stamped her foot in irritation. "Well I'll prove it to you!"
Her eyes swept across Miles' office to finally rest on the blue-clad defence attorney. Said defence attorney started to sweat bullets.
"Um, please don't look at me like I'm something to eat," Phoenix said, weakly.
I'm a bit scared about what she's thinking about doing actually..
Kay flashed a grin at him, oblivious to his growing distress. "Phoenix Wright! Thank you for volunteering-"
W-what!
Phoenix had barely blinked before Kay had strode over to him, slammed a cuff onto his right hand and locked him in promptly.
"Wait! What? Oh god! Why did you do that to me Kay!" Phoenix, flustered, failed to articulate a proper angry argument, or to even shout an OBJECTION! at the young thief. Frustrated, he attempted to rip the cuff off with his other hand - only to fail miserably.
This isn't happening! Why me!
"Kay! Get this off me this instant!" Phoenix shouted, still flustered, but regaining his spirit. "NOW!"
Kay stuck her tongue out at the defence attorney, and turned back to Miles. "Now do you believe me?"
Miles raised his eyebrows. "That proved absolutely nothing Kay. Apart from the fact that Wright is a blubbering fool when he's cuffed.."
"You can shut up Edgeworth!" Phoenix shot a venomous look at the prosecutor. "Kay, seriously, for the sake of my sanity, my image and everything else that will deteriorate when I'm seen with a pink handcuff attached to my person… please get this off me!" The defence attorney was pleading now.
"Wright have some dignity.."
"You're in no position to talk, Edgeworth. None at all! Literally!"
Now HE needs to LOSE his dignity!
"Wright if you'd calmly assess the situation-"
"How can I, Edgeworth! I don't recall Kay ever telling me a way to unlock the cuffs without being locked in with someone else-"
"You don't honestly believe the lies Kay's telling you about the cuffs? Obviously there must be a key."
"Hey! I'm not lying!" Kay cut in, irritated at the turn of their conversation. "I'm telling the truth! Well, what the lady told me and she was telling the truth too!"
Phoenix didn't miss Miles' eye roll.
Well there's only one way to find out if what Kay heard is indeed the truth..
Feeling incredibly reckless and foolish, Phoenix promptly strode up to Miles and slammed the other cuff round the magenta-clad prosecutor's left wrist - before Miles could even open his mouth to express shock.
"W-wright."
"Yes Edgeworth?"
"Why on earth did you lock me in with you?"
Miles' tone was low and dangerous, sending chills up Phoenix's spine. He shrunk back - to the best of his ability: he was now attached to the prosecutor whether he liked it or not.
"Ah. Edgeworth, just an experiment.."
"To prove what Wright?"
..I actually don't know. It was just impulsive!
Phoenix knew better than to utter this out loud, though. He winced, eyes searching for an object of interest to focus on, as Miles glared pure poison into Phoenix.
"Interesting.." Kay was observing them with wide eyes and a big smile. "I guess this is the part when I read the manual.."
"T-there's a manual? And you didn't read it?" Miles and Phoenix were both shocked by Kay's carelessness.
"W-what if we can't get them off-"
"Don't be absurd Wright, of course we can! It's only a matter of finding the key.."
Kay shot an irritated look at Miles. "There IS no key Mr Edgeworth! Don't be silly!"
Sighing, the hooked up lawyers made their way awkwardly to Miles' magenta sofa, to perch down, awkwardly also, on his soft cushions. They avoided each other's eyes. Phoenix chewed his lips in frustration. The only sound in the room was the occasional sound of Kay flipping through the manual's pages.
That was probably the most stupid thing I've done all year. What IF we can't unhook? I'd be forever stuck with Edgeworth! Forever and always! That would suck. So much.
Finally, Kay gulped and opened her mouth to speak - somewhat nervously.
"Um, guys, here's the deal," Kay began, looking at the two lawyers nervously. "It says in here that if you don't unhook almost immediately after attaching yourself, it means there is .. unquestionable "strain" in your current relationship-" Kay's eyes lingered on Miles for a while with an eyebrow raised, before continuing. "So your case is now moved to Stage 2, which means.." She paused to scan some small print. "Apparently you're stuck, until you can portray your true feelings to the person you're attached to - your true desires…" Kay broke off at this point, laughing. "Gosh Mr Wright, Mr Edgeworth, there must be something deep you guys are keeping in if you're still hooked like this!" She snickered.
Phoenix suddenly had an increasingly dry throat. "T-this means.. We're stuck for now."
"I hate your entire being Wright. Honestly, I hate you to the core. I hate you so much that…" Miles trailed off, glaring down at his cuff expectantly.
…
"Well why isn't it unhooking!" Miles sounded genuinely dumbfounded as he glared at his cuff. If anything, it felt even tighter around the lawyer's wrists.
Gee thanks Edgeworth, nice to know your true feelings about me.
Kay sighed. "I don't think hate is the correct emotion to portray here.." She took another look at the manual, then tossed it aside. "Stage 3 is for later."
There's a Stage 3 too? Just who on earth made this thing!
Miles drew an exasperated breath and clenched his fists. Veins protruded his knuckles.
"Kay I'll tell you now. I don't believe in magic, or anything spiritual. It is all utterly ridiculous to me. I'm a man of science."
Says the one who was talking to his cuff only moments ago, telling it how much he hates me..
"So I'll tell you now. I will find a way to unlock these handcuffs. And I'll do it without the need of magic or anything spiritual with feelings attached!"
With that, Miles strode off in a dignified manner, except it was hardly dignified with Phoenix trailing unwillingly behind him
"Save me Kay.." Phoenix cried, hoarsely, reaching out for her as Miles dragged the defence attorney towards the door.
Kay merely sent him an apologetic look and put her hands together in apology. She mouthed the words "I'm sorry."
Sorry definitely doesn't cut it!