Me: Hey everybody...guess who finally decided to write thiiiiiiis?
Jim: I'MMA MATHAFAKAN DOLPHIN! *does that dolphin tail thing in the pool*
Me: Um..anyhow, as you can see, nothing has really changed around here. We've just been lazing around and such. I kinda got so lazy over the summer I haven't updated this in two months or so again.
Jim: LOOK AT THESE DOLPHIN MOVES BABY, BOOYAH! *is fist pumping the air while doing the dolphin tail thing*
Me:...Dammit you're weird...anyhow...I apologize for the lack of updates. I've been busy with a new story called AMISS ASSUMPTIONS AND ALTERNATE ENDINGS, YEAH, YEAH SEE THOSE CAPS PEOPLE? SEE THIS BOLD SHIT TOO? YEAH. UH HUH. IT'S PRETTY BADASS AIN'T IT. WELL TO REALLY GET THE MESSAGE ACROSS, I'M USING ITALICS AND UNDERLINING TOO. YEAH. ALL THIS TO JUST ASK YOU TO GO READ AND REVIEW AMISS ASSUMPTIONS AND ALTERNATE ENDINGS BECAUSE I REALLY ENJOY WRITING IT, AND I THINK YOU ALL WOULD ENJOY READING IT AS WELL. JUST. YEAH. SHAMELESS SELF ADVERTISING. Alright, back to normal. First dare comes from MissMirrors, and she dares Delbert to sing "I'm A Little Tea Pot" with all the motions.
Delbert:*whines*
Me: Do it.
Delbert:*sighs* I'm a little tea pot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout, *gestures, pouring wine from one glass into another wine glass* Something, something, wine *drinks*
Me:...Parent of the year, that's him. *Smirks and flips through T&D journal while Amelia facepalms* The next is just a question on whether or not Tessa is a real person, and I'll say here that she is, in fact, my cousin and has an account on here as Jillian03.
Tessa: YO
Me: Mama...
Tessa: Is fat.
Me: As Obama.
Us: *high five*
Me: Anyhow. Painty Bakura dares Jim to hit Silver with a rake and see if he notices.
Jim: WOOHOO, WOOHOO, LOOK. AT. THIS. TAIL. ACTIIIII-IIIII-OOOOOOON! *points to self, doing 360 tailspins*
Me:...*snaps fingers and his tail disappears and he falls into the water*
Jim: NOT. COOL. *flops out in his sopping wet pharaoh costume and slips it off, throwing it at me*
Me:*dodges so the costume hits ghost Scroop and soaks him*
Scroop: WTF I'M A GHOST AND THAT WORKED! *looks unusually chilly*
Me: Oh good lord, you big wuss. Here's a towel, dry off. *tosses him towel and it goes right through him*
Scroop: AAUURRRGGGGHHHH *looks freezing*
Me:*points and laughs and looks when Jim shows up and hands him a rake* Go at it. *nods to Silver making out with Sarah by a palm tree*
Jim: Ew...with pleasure. *goes over and WHACKS Silver with the rake upside the head*
Silver:*waves hand around and grabs the rake, breaking it in two with his one hand, all without breaking his lip lock with Sarah.*
Jim: ._. That's terrifying.
Me: Hey, you could learn a few things from that man.
Jim: Yeah...but he's making out with my mom.
Me: YEEEEEEEEP IN DEEDLY POSITIVEATOOTLY.
Jim:...Hehe, toot.
Me: *throws pie in his face* Oh, wait, *goes and tears Sarah from the make out session*
Sarah: I was kinda busy there!
Me: Yeah, yeah, look you got a dare. Either confess you love Delbert or dress like and act like a man for the whole chapter.
Sarah: I-
Amelia:*death glare*
Sarah:...*takes men clothes offered and puts them on and stands there a moment before farting and belching at the same time and goes back to making out with un-phased Silver*
Me:...Am I the only one making the connection that this techinically...kinda makes Silver a homosexual for this chapter, or is that just me?
Jim:...*grabs shovel and begins digging hole in ground*
Yuni: Whacha doin'?
Jim: Digging a hole to avoid the world.
Yuni: I'll help!
Jim: Cool bro, grab a shovel.
Yuni:*gets off mallet, letting it turn into a shovel, and begins digging*
Jim:...
Me: Win. Just win. *looks at T&D book* Ok, Guest dares Britt to smash Scroop with her mallet...
Yuni:...THIS IS MY MALLET!
Me: I know Y-
Yuni: PUNY HUMAN YOU HAVE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE!
Me: Yuni, Yuni calm d-
Yuni: I SHALL REAP YOUR SOUL WITH MY BARE H-
Me:*squirts her with squirt bottle* BAD YUNI, BAD!
Yuni: WHAT THE HELL BRO
Me: CALM. YOUR. TITS. Wow...never thought I'd type that.
Yuni:...
Everyone:...
Me: Ahem, Guest asks when was everyone's first kiss?
Amelia: Ten...
Me: Whore.
Amelia: What?
Me: What.
Amelia:...
Delbert:...18 _
Silver:...Too many ter rememba ;p
Sarah: *gives him a look* Fifteen
Britt: lolnope
Wolf:...
Lazer:...
Scroop: I-
Me: No one gives a damn. lets see, do I care about anyone else...Arrow?
Arrow: erm...fourteen.
Me: Ok then NOW WE GO ON! Guest dares all the girls to smear lipstick on their faces.
Wolf:*has already done so*
Me: Why did you-
Wolf: Didn't you hear? It's popular in the Capitol.
Me: You're not one of those idiots.
Wolf: But they get good food.
Me: No.
Wolf: But-
Me: Just. No.
Amelia:*looks at lipstick*...But this is my Moulin Rouge...
Me: Just do it.
Amelia:...Alright...*goes over to me, tackles to the ground, and smears it all over my face before getting up and calmly walking off the beach and into the beach house*
Me:...*flips her off*
Sarah:*has already managed to climb up a tree to avoid the fate*
Tessa: YOLO *does so*
Me: HELL NAW *backhands* YOU DID NOT JUST SAY YOLO AND SMEAR LIPSTICK ON YOUR FACE.
Tessa: WELL I JUST DID!
Me:...Hey Yuni, Jim, you guys done with that hole?
Jim: Just about...
Me: How deep is it?
Jim: About six, seven feet.
Me: Good. *picks up Tessa and drops her down the hole*
Tessa: ;ALSKDJF;ALSKDJF;ALSKDJF HECK NO
Me:*waves a bit* have fun. *goes back to seat*
Delbert:...Was that really-
Me: I WILL PUT YOUR ASS DOWN THERE TOO OLD MAN!
Delbert: I'm-I'm not-ok...
Me: Guest dares Tessa to give fighting demonstration...Well, I'm not taking her out of that hole, so we will move on to their last one. Guest dares everyone to go Skydiving.
Sarah: No, no, no, no, no, no, no-
Me:*snaps fingers and were all in an abnormally large plane* ALRIGHT EVERYONE, *is yelling over wind* ON THREE!
Arrow:*is like screw y'all and jumps*
Me: Ok...
Scroop:*has fallen off and is screaming like a banshee on the way down*
Me: He's a ghost but ok...EVERYONE ELSE READY?
Most people:*nod*
Tigress and Sarah:*shake heads no*
Me: OK 1, 2, 3! *jumps off*
Most others*Jump*
Jim:*stays behind Tigress and Sarah and shoves them off*
Tigress:*girly scream*
Sarah: YOU ARE SO GROUNDED JAMES PLEADIES HAWK-I-I-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS! *starts flailing as she falls, Jim doing a dive to come to her side and release her parachute in time*
All of us:*land on the Legacy*
Amelia: MY BABY *hugs the mast*
Me: howdafuq...oh well, it's good.
Britt: OHMIGAWD WOOD! *falls to ground and sniffs it, doing a snow-less snow angel on the ground* wooooooooooood...
Me:...Alright everyone, take off your gear and take a seat.
Everyone:*get off their gear, Silver sitting with Sarah in his lap by some crates, the Doppler family sitting on the ground and Jim and Tigress sitting next to each other, Arrow standing by Amelia, authors all sitting by Britt who continues to sniff the wood, and then Me, summoning myself a plush chair*
Me: Alright t-
Jim: Why do you get the cool chair?
Me: Because screw you, that's why.
Jim: ok...
Me: Wolf Lover 06 dares Jim and Scroop to have a rap battle, and then Sarah and Amelia to have a rap battle as well.
Jim:...I'm gonna kick your ass.
Scroop: Just try.
Jim:...
Me:*snaps fingers for badass rap theme music*
Jim:...*sings Thrift Shop because he's an uncreative bazzard*
Scroop: PLAGERISAM, I CALL PLAGERISAM!
Me:...*looks at T&D book* Well...she didn't specify you had to make up the rap.
Jim: OWNED, PLAYAH!
Scroop: What the hell...
Jim:...old schooooool
Me: Stop it, Jim.
Jim: Yeah I know...
Scroop:*sighs*...My name is Scroop, mah crew call me Loop, I dunno where this is goin', but I know Jim Hawkins is a showin dat he knowin' nuttin bout...stuff...quack.
Me:...All votes for Scroop?
*none*
Me: All votes for Jim?
Everyone:*raises hand*
Me: Thought so. Now then, Sarah and Amelia?
Sarah:...La, la, la, la, la, la...sing a happy song?
Peoples:*boo*
Sarah: Ok...
Silver: I thought it twas good dear
Sarah:*just smiles and pats his chest*
Me: Amelia?
Amelia: ...I'mma duck...quack quack...Stupid Pewds doesn't suspect a thing.
Me:...You just...You just made a Pewdiepie refrence...
Amelia:...Mhm...
Me: You just made a damn Pewdiepie reference...
Amelia:Yep...
Me: I DON'T CARE IF THAT ISN'T EVEN A RAP I LOVE YOU! *tackles*
Amelia: ;ALKSDJF;LAKSDJF;LAKSDJF;LAKSDJF SOS
Delbert: uh, uh, uh, uh O_O *grabs her and holds her bridal style* Stop it O_O
Me: T_T
Delbert:*hugs Amelia close and sits down*
Amelia: My knight. *smiles and cuddles*
Me:...Gag me with a spoon...anyhow, Lazer will take over for the rest of the chapter.
Lazer: Thank you, dear Kitty. *gets up, cracking knuckles, making blue spark run through his body* First off, *snaps fingers and there is a Red Spy Scout and Demonman beside him* Okay first off, Jim and the scout have a bonk drinking contest while Silver and Arrow are having a drinking contest with the demoman with the degroot special reserve.
Jim: ALRIGHT, ALCOHOL!
Sarah: Now wait just a m-*stops when she sees Silver and Arrow already chugging down degroot with the Demonman*
Demonman:*is kicking their asses*
Arrow and Silver:*are like sh*t sh*t sh*t and drinking fast as they can*
Jim:*is kicking the Scouts ass at this until he stands up* ANOTHER! *throws mug on ground and passes out*
Scout:*gets up tipsily*
Lazer: Yo, Scout *whistles*
Scout:*turns head drunkly to him and points at self*
Lazer: Yes, you. Go stab Scroop with a spycicle knife to make several different frozen statues of him.
Scout: O-kay do-kay! *wobbly salute and runs to ghost Scroop, stabbing him several times*
Scroop: ;ASLKJDF;IGJ;LASKDJFIJDA;SDF
Statues:*one of him with a crazy expression, one of him dramatically dropping to the floor in a flourish, one of him in a dress with bows and ribbons and many other things that make the characters and myself question the true level of logic in this parody, a farting man, a sad man, a scary man, and then finally, him wearing Ellen DeGeneres clothing doing a stupid dance*
Scroop:*by the end of all this falls to the ground as every laughs their asses off*
Amelia: LETS HAVE A LITTLE FUN *claps and side step dance* TODAAAAY!
Me: You high?
Amelia: AS A CLOUD, AS A CLOUD! *is enjoying dancing like Ellen DeGeneres*
Me: Alright then, anything else, Lazer?
Lazer:*wipes laughter tears from his eyes* Yes, one more. Lets see how far Tigress, Yuni, Tessa, and Scout can hit with a bat of their choosing. *takes out a baseball while making an assortment of bats and batlike objects appear*
Yuni:...I'M USING MY MALLET OF DOOM!
Tigress:*Takes out a classic Louisville slugger*
Scout:*takes a nice metal one*
Tessa:*reappears at this moment dressed in an awful clown suit* I hate you *to me*
Me: Go ahead, choose a bat.
Tessa:*grumbles and chooses a literal bat, which she holds by the feet*
Lazer: Ready?
Them: Yeah
Lazer:*throws baseball at Tigress*
Tigress:*whacks the sucker out into the Etherium*
Marvin the Martian:*comes back with the ball* A mile out.
Lazer: Thanks Martian. You ready, Yuni?
Yuni: I was born ready.
Lazer:*Tosses ball*
Yuni:*Mallets that thing waaaay out there*
Marvin the Martian:*goes out and comes back* Two and a half miles!
Yuni: *strikes a BOOYAH pose*
Lazer: Okie...Tessa?
Tessa: Throw the frikin' ball. *gets bat ready*
Lazer: Ok...*throws it*
Tessa:*hits it about five feet before the ball spontaneously combusts*
Marvin the Martian:...Tigress wins. *disappears*
Lazer: Ok then.
Tigress: What do I win?
Lazer: Nothing, go sit down, the lot of you.
Them:*do so grumpily*
Me:*looks at T&D journal* That's all of em! Phew. Now then, I have a VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. I have really enjoyed writing this parody, it's been fun and the reaction I've gotten to it was astonishing, and still is. But now I've been trying to end some stories so I can start new ones as my writing progresses. So, as of now, I will be ENDING Truth or Dare: Treasure Planet Version on the 20TH CHAPTER! I really hate to do this, but with school and everything else that is going on in my personal life, along with what was just stated, it has to be done. So, get ALL YOUR TRUTHS AND DARES OUT! From now on, no matter the length, I will do ALL TRUTHS AND DARES for the last two chapters. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing this story and just making my life a little brighter with each review. I do not own Treasure Planet, Kung Fu Panda, or Marvin the Martian. Until next time, rock on!