Disclaimer: Don't own it, make no money from it. It really isn't worth suing me.

Author's note: This is where conversations about fanfiction take me some nights... the lemon warning was in the summary so you shouldn't need it again. This is set at some point roughly 50 years in the future, I suppose... or call it an AU if you like. It's a one shot plot bunny. Enjoy!

Shuuhei and Renji were sprawled out in the Vice-Captain's quarters of Ninth Division, doing their best to get drunk enough to forget the bruises to their egos Yachiru had inflicted in the Vice-Captain's meeting that afternoon. They were using Shuuhei's quarters because Byakuya was far too uptight to allow such behaviour within the grounds of the Sixth Division's barracks.

"You know..." Renji said, taking a swig directly from the bottle.

"What?" Shuuhei asked, taking the bottle from Renji's unresisting hand and pouring a small amount of sake into a dish. He managed to slop a little onto his hand despite his best efforts, and so after downing the sake he proceeded to lick the rest off of the back of his hand. Renji's eyes glued themselves to the sight of Shuuhei's pink tongue meticulously cleaning between each of his fingers. "Renji?" Shuuhei prompted softly, smiling at the effect his actions had on the tattooed Vice-Captain.

"Uh, yeah. According to Kurotsuchi's weird graph thingy, Hitsugaya is technically eighteen today."

"Really? Huh. I bet Rangiku is out getting him drunk."

Renji shook his head. "I doubt it. He's finally figured out how to handle her."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He bribes Kira to take her out on dates when he wants time to himself."

Shuuhei decided that dishes were for sissy drinkers and drinking from the bottle was much manlier... and easier. "How do you know that?" he asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"He asked me first, but you know I don't swing that way, and Rangiku knows it too."

Renji took the bottle back from Shuuhei and poured more into his mouth. They sat in drunken silence for a few minutes, leaning comfortably against each other and staring at the moon through the open window.

Renji decided that his ponytail was way too tight and pulled his hair band off, running his fingers through the fiery red tresses. He shook his head, oblivious to Shuuhei's look of open mouthed astonishment, and began to braid his hair neatly so that it hung over his left shoulder.

"You know what we should do?" Renji asked eventually.

"What?" Shuuhei asked, startled out of a daydream that involved Renji's hair and a lot of kissing.

"Seduce him."

"What? Who?"

"Hitsugaya. Toshiro."

Shuuhei sat up and stared at his red-headed companion. "No way."

Renji grinned lazily and stretched like a cat. "Hell yeah. I think it's a great idea, and he's been getting pretty sexy recently."

"Renji... I am not doing this."

"Yes, you are," Renji said decisively.

"Why would you say that?" Shuuhei asked, nervous butterflies beginning to stir in his stomach at the predatory look on Renji's face.

"Because I'm blackmailing you. If you don't, I'll tell Rangiku about the time you spied on her."

"That was an accident!" Shuuhei protested.

"Yeah, but taking pictures and then selling them to the Shinigami Men's Society wasn't."

Shuuhei sighed, knowing that he was defeated. "All right. Let's go corrupt Toshiro, and pray that Rangiku never finds out about this."

"Oh, come on. I'm not going to tell her, you aren't and you can bet your afterlife Toshiro never will. Know any kido spells to lock him in the room? This isn't going to be easy."

"At least you're not too drunk to realise that," Shuuhei muttered as they flash stepped in the direction of the Tenth Squad Captain's quarters.

Hitsugaya Toshiro woke to find two strange reiatsu in his bedroom, and an odd shimmering golden glow that he usually associated with kidou emanating from his bedroom walls. He reached for Hyourinmaru, usually left beside his futon, but the comforting icy hilt of his sword was not where he had left it.

"It's all right," said a familiar voice from the darkness. Abarai. "He's outside the door with Zabimaru and Kazeshini."

"We decided we didn't want them to be a part of this," said a second voice. Toshiro had a harder time recognising that one without a face to put it to. He felt the futon shift on either side of him as the press of foreign reiatsu came closer, so close that the tendrils of theirs began to mesh with his own.

"What-" he began to protest, but a warm finger against his lips stopped him.

"We heard you had a birthday," Abarai purred. Toshiro's mind immediately went into overdrive. Why was Abarai purring at him?

"We thought we'd give you a present," the second voice whispered, in such a low, intimate tone that the words seemed to caress his skin.

"Who-"

The finger came back. "Shush, little Shiro. Well," a deep chuckle spilled into the darkness. "Not so little any more. That is, after all, why we're here, Toshiro."

"What?"

The second voice whispered right next to his ear, stirring his hair and sending a shiver down his spine. "We've come to seduce you."

Hot, hard lips crashed against his own, and he was pulled tightly against a larger body. Warmth overwhelmed him, and he flailed his arm out, striking something soft. He gentled the touch as soon as he realised that he was touching someone's hair, and ran light fingers over the face, tracing three dents down the forehead.

"Hisagi..." he breathed in realisation. The lips against his own smiled.

"Now, now, it doesn't do to mix us up right away," Abarai teased. Hisagi shifted closer, claiming Toshiro's lips for himself in a savage kiss, sharp teeth nipping before his tongue licked the hurt away.

"Toshiro," he murmured. "We are off duty and kissing you senseless, I think you can call us by our first names, just this once."

Toshiro frowned. "You are not kissing me senseless," he objected.

"We will be in a moment," Hisagi replied, his warm breath striking against the exposed part of Toshiro's chest. Toshiro was surprised to feel hands parting his yukata and Hisagi's tongue diving into his belly button, but all thought was swept away as Renji leaned in and licked around the outside of his ear.

"Ah!" he cried out, arching his back and inadvertently thrusting his hips up into Hisagi's face. The older Shinigami didn't seem to mind, for in the next moment Toshiro felt blessedly cool air across his heated groin, swiftly followed by the most exquisitely delicious feeling he had ever felt in his life.

Renji smiled. "He didn't just get that tattoo for show, you know," he murmured into Toshiro's ear, gently nibbling around the edge of the delicate appendage and watching carefully as Toushiro strained and gripped the bedsheets, his yukata spread around him.

With the small part of his brain that was still functioning, Toshiro believed it. Shuuhei's lips were tight around the base of his cock as the dark haired Shinigami alternatively relaxed his throat muscles and swallowed, pulling back to lave the weeping head with his tongue, tracing random patterns that were slowly driving Toshiro insane. It was all he could do not to thrust further into the tight, wet heat of Shuuhei's mouth, but he didn't want to hurt the older Shinigami, but it felt so good that he wasn't sure if he could stop himself as the deliciously wicked things Shuuhei was doing with his tongue slowly eroded his control.

"Hey, Shuu, I think that's enough teasing," Renji said. Shuuhei flicked his dark eyes up and winked before he applied suction to Toshiro's over-sensitive member.

Toshiro screamed, threw his head back into Renji's shoulder and shuddered helplessly as he came down Shuuhei's throat.

"Mmm... tasty," Shuuhei whispered, moving up to share the after-taste with Renji in a sloppy kiss. The red-head groaned into Shuuhei's willing mouth, leaning forward unconsciously as his desires began to get the better of his sake-fuddled mind. "Wait a minute, Renji, we're seducing Toshiro, remember? This was your idea," the Vice-Captain reminded, leaning away teasingly.

"I know," Renji said, turning back to Toushiro. He was greeted by a pair of furious teal eyes, their owner breathing heavily as he lay sprawled over the futon.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Toshiro hissed.

Renji shrugged. "Seducing you. Don't worry, we haven't finished."

The temperature in the room dropped noticeably. "Don't worry?"

Seeing that Renji was about to be inadvertently frozen, Shuuhei crawled up the futon and took over, by surprising Toshiro with a kiss. "We wanted to talk to you before the next bit anyway," he murmured as he pulled back slightly, smiling to see the dazed look in Toshiro's eyes. He was thankful to feel the ambient temperature begin to rise again. "It's better that you co-operate, with what we have in mind. Don't worry, we won't talk about this, and I can promise that this will be a night you will remember for the next few centuries."

"The next few millennia," Renji chimed in.

Toshiro frowned. "You're both drunk," he declared, smelling the familiar scent of sake in the air.

Renji smiled his lazy cat smile and decided to see how Toshiro responded to dirty talk. "It's true that this was a drunken plot, but I was stone cold sober when I first noticed how sexy you were getting. I've been thinking about you for months, I've wanted to undress you, run my hands all over that cool skin of yours and watch you squirm as I licked your nipples." Renji ran his eyes over Toshiro's naked body, lingering on the toned muscles of his chest and stomach and his returning erection. He could tell that his words were having an effect on the young Captain as Toshiro's breathing sped up and his eyes flickered between Renji's own and his lips. He gazed straight into teal eyes as he continued, using his best bedroom voice. "I imagined sucking you off after meetings, running my hands through your hair and whispering all the things I was going to do to you into your ears. I imagined what your hands would feel like wrapped around my cock." Toshiro inhaled sharply as Renji leaned in. "You taste just how I imagined you would," Renji whispered before he plunged his tongue into Toshiro's mouth, kissing him as if he would drown if he didn't.

Toshiro brought up his arms and wrapped them tightly around Renji's neck as he returned the kiss, moulding his body tight against Renji's. Smiling, Shuuhei moved closer and pressed himself against Toshiro's back, rubbing his hot erection between Toshiro's thighs. The young Captain relaxed into the dual embrace, unconsciously pressing back against Shuuhei's groin.

"Uh, Toshiro," Shuuhei groaned. "I think you're ready for this whether you think you are or not."

Renji's mischievous eyes met Shuuhei's over Toshiro's shoulder. "Snow sandwich," he sniggered, one hand trailing down Toshiro's chest to rub and pinch at his nipples. The white-haired Shinigami groaned and bit his lip, throwing his head back onto Shuuhei's shoulder.

Shuuhei gazed levelly back. "Then you'll be bottoming for Toshiro," he pointed out, rubbing Toshiro's side soothingly as Renji continued to tease and Toshiro continued to writhe against him.

Renji thought for a moment, then shrugged. "I don't have a problem with that. We'll start, you join in once he's too far gone to protest."

"Oi, I am here," Toshiro gasped.

"Mmm, we know that," Renji said, laying butterfly soft kisses over his forehead and down his nose as his hand moved lower, encircling Toshiro's newly awakened erection and pumping slowly. "You've been protesting your maturity for years, Hitsugaya-Taicho. Are you man enough to take me?"

"W-what?"

"Shuuhei will show you what to do," Renji promised, untying his obi and wriggling out of his hakama. He shrugged out of the rest of his clothing and pushed the pile of black and white aside, laying back on the futon and stealing Toshiro's pillow to place under his hips.

The sight of Renji's muscled abs in the moonlight made Toshiro bite his lip. He wanted to trace the bold lines of the tattoos with his fingers, or perhaps his tongue. He might have grown over the years, but Renji was still taller than him, Toshiro's eyes falling naturally on his collarbone rather than his face. He spent a lot of time in meetings staring at that collarbone, peeking out from under Renji's uniform, and wondering if the skin there was as soft as it looked.

This was his chance to find out.

Renji's gasp of surprise was quickly muffled by Toshiro's lips as the younger Shinigami let go of his inhibitions. Renji might have been less willing had he realised that Toshiro was only being so free because he reckoned that they wouldn't remember the incident in the morning.

The evening turned into a swirl of arms and legs and tanned, tattooed skin as Shuuhei educated Toshiro on the finer points of prepping until Renji was a pleading, writhing mess on the futon, his naked erection straining away from his body. Shuuhei had a very 'hands on' method of teaching and Toshiro sympathised entirely as his insides melted into warm goo with every stroke of Hisagi's long calloused fingers inside of him.

"Will you just fucking take me you arseholes!" Renji pleaded through gritted teeth, his fingers twined firmly in Toshiro's white sheets. Shuuhei grinned a lazy wolf's grin.

"Perhaps it is time to stop teasing him," he whispered into Toshiro's ear. Toshiro shuddered and keened involuntarily as Shuuhei gently pulled his fingers out and spread his palms over the young Captain's hips. "Oh, you liked that did you?" Shuuhei purred into his ear. Toshiro bit his lip and nodded, not quite trusting his voice. His teal eyes widened as he felt something blunt and warm pressing against his entrance and his spine arced as Shuuhei pushed slowly inside, his fingers falling away from the tight ring of muscle they had been massaging.

Renji groaned, his fiery eyes lidded. As Shuuhei pushed in slowly, keeping Toshiro in a state of speechless suspense and vague discomfort, the redhead rolled over and crawled backwards on his hands and knees, peering over one shoulder to line himself up in a way Toshiro found ridiculously sexy. He reached out and ran his fingertips over the jagged black lines, guiding Renji backwards until their skin brushed together.

"It's ok," Shuuhei growled through gritted teeth. He was buried balls-deep in Toshiro's enveloping warmth and shaking slightly with the effort of not moving, but he wanted to have everyone in position first. Renji would accuse him of being obsessive-compulsive during sex, but Shuuhei just wanted to make sure that it felt good for all of them. "You can just, uh, stick it in," he instructed. "This isn't Renji's first time, he'll be ok."

"Fuck ok, I'll be flying," was Renji's response as he shifted back another few inches. Toshiro wrapped a hesitant hand around himself, already slick with lube and more pre-come than he had thought himself capable of producing, and guided himself inside Renji's tight heat. Shuuhei's warm breath on the back of his neck made him shudder, and before he realised it he was fully inside the redhead.

"You feel amazing!" he exclaimed as every millimetre of his cock was wrapped in warm, silky heat. "Will you please move now?" he twisted to ask Shuuhei. The older Shinigami chuckled.

"I would love to," he replied, smiling.

The first thrust of Shuuhei's hips turned into a rippling motion as Renji pressed back into the movement. Toshiro dug his fingers into Renji's ink stained hips and concentrated on not coming to soon and ruining the whole experience. There was a deep ache in his balls as they pressed up firmly against the base of his cock, and god did he not want to come just yet as he was stroked inside and out. The smell of fresh sweat and musky male arousal filled the room as they moved together, and their reiatsu began to spark around them in the confines of the holding kidou. Toshiro could feel the mingled essence of their power stroking his skin, the pressure pushing behind his eyes and into his ears.

"Fuck that's good," Renji groaned as Toshiro leant forward and began to trace the curving lines of his tattoos with his tongue. Shuuhei reached around and grabbed one of Toshiro's hands, guiding it around to Renji's groin and wrapping his fingers around the hot, thick erection.

"He won't come otherwise," Shuuhei explained, "and I'm fucking close and I'm pretty sure you're hanging on by the skin of your teeth."

But Renji batted Toshiro's hand away. "No," he gasped. "Want you two to take care of me later."

Toshiro would have questioned what he meant but there was no time as Renji clenched his muscles, and Shuuhei thrust deeply, one hand pressed flat against Toshiro's chest to press the white-haired prodigy back into his own muscled abs, the edge of his middle finger teasing a perked nipple, and Toshiro was helpless against the wave of pleasure that engulfed him. With a low growl Shuuhei thrust twice more into Toshiro's tightened arse before biting down on his shoulder and releasing a hot stream of fluid inside Toshiro's passage. Strong arms lowered Toshiro's spent body to the futon and rolled Renji over, nudging them face to face.

Renji's expression was twisted in frustrated anticipation, and Toshiro reached up and kissed him, one hand sliding down Renji's stomach with intent to bring him some relief. He was surprised when his fingers encountered soft spiky hair rather than the coarse curls he had expected, but the sucking sounds and Renji's wanton moan against Toshiro's lips were all the clues he needed. Toshiro wrapped his arms around Renji and kissed him, their tongues twining lazily together as Shuuhei worked his lips and tongue over Renji's swollen cock.

It wasn't long before Renji pulled away, panting heavily, and glanced down. "Shuu, I'm-"

"I know," came the muffled reply before Toshiro's eyes widened as Shuuhei swallowed Renji down until the redhead's balls were pushed to either side of his chin.

Renji cried out wordlessly as he came down Shuuhei's throat, and Toshiro held him close as he shuddered. Pressing one last kiss to the tip of the softening cock in front of him, Shuuhei wriggled his way up to the top of the futon and tossed the discarded covers over the three of them.

"Wait a minute, you can't sleep here!" Toshiro protested, reason working it's way into his orgasm fuzzed mind. It was too late, he realised as he looked at his unexpected bed partners. They were already asleep.

Shuuhei groaned, the pounding in his head making itself known before he had even opened his eyes. He was lying on something warm and soft, that most definitely was not his futon, because his futon was always laid out in the darkest corner of his quarters, and wherever he was there was sunlight streaming into his face. He rolled over in an attempt to block out the light, and winced as his tender forehead came into contact with a hard, muscled shoulder.

"Whaa?" came an incoherent question from somewhere above his ear. The smell of clean sweat and cinnamon, the muscles and the gravelly voice coalesced slowly together in Shuuhei's head to mean Renji.

"Sunlight is bad," Shuuhei muttered in response.

The approach of a familiar icy reiatsu made him sit up despite his pounding head and queasy stomach to look around in alarm. Where was he? Why was Hitsugaya Toshiro opening the door with a murderous frown on his face? Try as he might, Shuuhei only had vague memories of drinking with Renji the night before.

"I see you're awake," Toshiro growled quietly. "The bathroom is through that door. Please clean yourselves up and then leave."

"I - um, of course, Hitsugaya-taicho," Shuuhei replied quickly, scrambling to his feet and poking Renji in the back with his toes in an attempt to rouse the red-head.

Toshiro leaned against the wall and raised an eyebrow. "You don't remember how you got here, I take it?"

"No," Shuuhei admitted.

Rolling his eyes, Toshiro enlightened him. "You changed your mind about not drinking with Matsumoto last night; you and Renji showed up plastered pretty late. She was so pleased to see you that she tried to take you home with her. On the way you apparently got 'lost' and ended up here. I would appreciate it if you did not make this sort of thing a habit."

Blushing Shuuhei nodded, and dragged a sleepy Renji into the bathroom. Toshiro's explanation sounded rather plausible, although Shuuhei couldn't help thinking that it missed out how they had ended up sleeping in his bed. Naked. He silently vowed for the seven hundred and fifty sixth time to drink less when drinking with Renji as he splashed water onto the back of the redhead's tattooed neck. It seemed to lead to the most peculiar situations every time.