Title: Waking the Dragon

Pairing: Castle/Beckett

Rating: M (for later chapters)

Spoilers: 3X13 Knockdown

Disclaimer: Castle, its characters, and all related content are the property of ABC. No copyright infringement is intended. Only hotness.

Summary: "You woke the dragon," McCallister had said. At the time, neither Castle nor Beckett could know how true those words would turn out to be.

Author's Note: Ah, fanfic. I wish I knew how to quit you.

Chapter One

"Are you even listening to me, Castle?"

The sharpness of Kate's tone snapped Rick out of his thoughts. He'd been looking right at her. Watching her lips, even. The way they moved. But no, he hadn't been listening. His body was in his chair by her desk, but his mind had been somewhere else. Back in that alley, a couple of nights ago. The night his world had been rocked to its foundation.

In hindsight, he could see how Kate might think he'd cooked up that whole undercover idea just to get a shot at kissing her, but no matter what she thought, that hadn't been part of the plan. At least, not consciously. He'd only resorted to that when their rescue attempt had threatened to turn sour. As he'd held Kate's face in his hands, his knees shaking, his breath stuck in his throat, he'd half expected her to deck him, cover be damned.

But she hadn't. When he'd met her lips, they'd been soft, and so warm. Heat had flowed like liquid mercury through his veins. He'd never felt chemistry like that before. Not on the first kiss or any kiss thereafter. Like every cell on his body had caught on fire.

It stunned him. He thought it did her, too. She'd pulled away, and the look in her eyes hadn't been one of "what the hell do you think you're doing," as he might have thought. It had been "Holy Shit." The same thought reverberating through his head. After that, there'd been nothing undercover about their kiss. It had been real. She'd kissed him back, the softness of her lips giving way to her wet, driving tongue. She'd clutched at him, to his utter disbelief. For a moment he completely forgot they were there on a rescue mission, and when she'd swung away to pistol-whip that unsuspecting thug, Rick had nearly cursed.

Since then, being near Kate had been hard. Really hard. She just wanted to act like nothing happened, of course. That was their MO. Everything was fine between them as long as they never mentioned his attraction to her in anything but the most playful terms. If they just kept laughing it off, he could keep his chair by her desk, and keep bringing her morning coffee as if it all wasn't just an elaborate excuse to see her every day.

But he didn't know if he could settle for that anymore. He didn't think he could ever go back to the way things were. Kate was his One. He knew that now. The nebulous unease that doomed his relationship with Gina had crystallized into unwavering conviction.

He gathered himself. "I'm sorry, Beckett. I've just been a little distracted today."

"You've been a little 'distracted' all week, Castle, ever since we bagged Lockwood. You're no good to me like this. Is there something going on?"

Playing dumb. Never Bring It Up. That was the pact. Rick looked down at his hand, still swollen and mottled with purple and blue. Yeah, there was something going on. There'd been a lot going on, ever since she showed up on his doorstep, needing him, the morning Raglan was shot. He wasn't even counting that, or the bone-chilling terror he'd felt when he thought she'd been hit.

For starters, he'd finally admitted to his mother (and himself) there was more to his relationship with Beckett than just literary inspiration. He'd reached an agreement with Kate on the nature of their partnership. Had seen a glimpse of her soul when she shared her mother's case file with him. Had shared a brilliant, unexpected moment of passion that she now wanted to brush under the rug.

It was a lot to take in. All this culminating with a white-hot moment of rage when Lockwood, or whatever his name was, had that shot trained on her head. It had awakened the animal in him. He still didn't remember how he ended up on top of Lockwood, beating the hell out of his face. He just remembered that at the time there was no thought of pain. That didn't come until much later.

He released a strained noise, some kind of cross between a chuckle and a scoff. "It's nothing, Beckett." He hoped she didn't notice his nose twitch. "Just…writer stuff."

She glared at him. "'Writer Stuff'? Castle, this is a murder investigation. Is your 'writer stuff' worth letting this guy get away? I need you on your A-game or not at all."

Her words echoed his innermost fears. Without a murder to solve, did she have any use for him?

He had to tell her. Right now. He had to know. Even if he ruined everything, even if she couldn't return his feelings and he could never come back to the 12th. At least he could start to heal. He opened his mouth, and a rush of adrenaline overcame him, so intense it made him gasp. Instantly he was shaking like an earthquake.

Don't Bring It Up!

Dammit! He launched out of his chair, stared down at her, his body broadcasting his fury and frustration. Kate looked stunned, but he didn't care. He was sick of this, being stuck in an infinite holding pattern. Forced to watch her carry on with the wrong man. Forced to shrug off her aloof demeanor as if she meant nothing to him. "I'm going to get some coffee."

Kate gaped. A part of him winced at his behavior, but he turned his back on her and marched to the break room.

Kate fought the urge to stop Castle as he stormed off. She'd probably pushed him too far. She hated doing that to him—lying like that. As if she hadn't noticed him staring at her mouth. As if that didn't make her stomach tighten. For the past few days, kissing him was practically all she could think about. How solid his body had felt. How he'd trembled.

But what was she supposed to do? She was with Josh. Even if she wasn't, she didn't think things could be any different. She was Castle's shiny toy. That was all. The second he got tired of writing Nikki Heat, he'd be gone. How much of a sucker would she be to let him get to her? She wasn't about to make a fool of herself.

She'd made a choice. She would never sleep with Castle. Ever. No matter how charming he could be. No matter how many nights she stayed up reading the Heat books, imagining body shots with him as Jameson Rook.

Because every time she started to let him in, every time she tried to let down her guard, he had to go and ruin it. Either he'd tease her about his not-so-secret fantasies about her, or he'd offer some lewd comment, or he'd just generally act like an overgrown twelve-year-old.

Every. Time.

It was frustrating, but at the same time, she was perversely grateful for it. Castle never let her take leave of her senses for very long.

So why couldn't she cut him loose?

Kate turned back around and picked at the stacks of visitor logs on her desk.

It was a question she'd avoided asking herself. If she had any kind of mercy, she'd have sent him packing a long time ago. Just told him anything, any lie. Whatever it took to make him believe he wasn't wanted or needed here. Right off the top of her head, she could think of at least three stories that would work.

A sudden tightness formed in her chest, like her heart had grabbed a handful of her shirt and was pulling her in. Sending Castle away would be the right thing to do. He had a daughter, and a mother and millions of other people who loved him. He needed to stay safe, for their sakes. It wasn't right to keep him hanging on. Not for something she knew was never going to happen.

She'd end this, eventually. She would. When she was ready. She just…wasn't ready yet.

Besides, it was a good thing she'd kept him around. If he hadn't been there the other day to stop Lockwood…

God, what if he hadn't been there?

She didn't want to think about how close she'd come. Castle had saved her. That was what mattered. Truthfully, she had no idea he had it in him. That beatdown he'd given Lockwood… Kate shook her head. Castle hadn't needed her help at all. But it was a good thing she'd gotten to him when she did. Five more seconds, and he'd have torn the guy's throat out.

That sure had been something.

Kate became aware she was wearing a bemused expression. Subtly, she shifted her eyes to see if anyone had caught her. The Captain was on the phone. Ryan's face was glued to his monitor. Esposito was nowhere to be seen. She looked back at the visitor logs.

Dammit, she could have blown it just then. She carefully donned her stoic façade and tried to pretend she was getting some work done.

Author's Note: So this is the first fic I've written since my daughter was born. It's proving a lot harder than I thought to find time to write, but stick with me... I promise your patience will be rewarded with delicious, lemony-flavored goodness. ;)