Alright. This is for PrisonerLen who gave me the first...four lines of this and told me I could do something with them. So. I failed hardcore at her characterizations but...whatever. By the way. Goats stink.

Oh, this is obviously not my idea. The whole goat thing goes to Len. Don't ask me where she got it from.

Rating: T for language. Seph really doesn't want that damn goat.

"Seph?" Cloud called meekly from the doorway, slipping into the room and stopping near the couch.

"Hm?" the General grunted, eyes glued to the TV.

The blonde crawled onto his lap, clinging to him and kissing his neck. "…Can I have a goat?" he whispered into the man's collarbone.

For a moment, Sephiroth was perfectly quiet, eyebrow raised and wondering if he'd heard his young lover correctly. "Did you just ask me for a goat?" he asked incredulously.

"..." Cloud leaned back, nervously shifting on the General's lap. "...yes?"

Silence fell in the room as Sephiroth and Cloud stared at each other. A goat...his lover wanted a goat. A goat of all things. "Absolutely not," he blurted. "You can't possibly have forgotten about that time with the chickens. Or the horses. Or that fat ass pig that ruined my shoe."

Cloud's face fell and he bit his lip, nodding slowly. He did remember. Quite clearly since the man had made him rub pig shit off the black leather of his boot all the way home. Still. He wanted a goat. "But-"

"No," Sephiroth said. "No goats, no cows, no llamas, no giraffes, no nothing. We have Zackary. Isn't that enough?"

"Seph! Zack is not a pet!"

"Really," the General muttered, rolling his eyes. "Could have fooled me."

A fist connected with his chest and Cloud scowled down at him. "You're an ass."

"You knew this when you agreed to live with me."

"Oh, so that means I agreed to a lonely life without ever knowing the love of a goat?"

Sephiroth stopped listening after that, opting instead to grab the blonde and heave him over his shoulder. That was the last time he was letting Genesis watch Cloud while he was away. It was bad enough he had to listen to dramatics from the man, let alone have to hear his lover lament over the lost love of a farm animal.

...

"Please."

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Seph-"

"No."

"Damn it!"

"No."

A hand slammed down onto the desk in front of the General and a stack of carefully organized papers went sliding to the floor. Cloud met his glare with a smug look and crossed his arms over his chest. "I want a goat."

Sephiroth fought urge to throw his coffee cup.

Two weeks.

Two fucking weeks and all he'd been hearing about was that damn goat. For fuck's sake Cloud had even pinned a calendar full of the little bastards to his office door. "No," he repeated slowly. "There will be no goats."

"But why, Sephiroth!" Cloud stamped his foot and Sephiroth was unsure if he wanted to smack the little idiot or laugh at him for looking like a five year old Genesis.

"You look like you're five," he pointed out.

"And you look like an old man, I never complain."

Sephiroth's eyes widened and he grabbed onto his long silver tresses. "I do not!"

"You do!" Cloud said, scowling.

"Insulting me will not get you a god damn goat!" Sephiroth snapped, taking a step forward and grabbing Cloud's wrist. "I. Am. Not. Old."

When Cloud's eyes immediately filled with tears, the General froze. Fuck. He loosened his hold on the blonde's wrist and swallowed nervously. "...Cloud?"

The younger man sniffled and brought a hand up to cover his eyes, choosing to look anywhere but at his silver haired lover standing in front of him. "I-I just get s-so lonely when you-you're gone."

Well, he certainly felt like an ass now. With muffled sigh, Sephiroth flopped backwards onto the floor, cursing when his head hit the leg of one of the chairs in front of his desk. Really, why the hell did he even have those things. It's not like anyone ever actually sat in them. "Why a goat? Why not a cat, or a...rabbit of some sort?" He asked blandly, staring up at the ceiling. He heard Cloud sit down beside him and felt the gentle pressure of the blonde's back against his side.

"Why not a goat?" Was the quiet reply.

"They stink."

"They're cute."

"They stink."

"They're so soft."

"They stink."

"They do not," Cloud muttered, pulling his legs up to his chest. After a short silence he sighed and poked the General in the ribs. "What if I give it a bath every day..."

"You will not bathe a goat in my bathtub, Cloud." He could just see all of the hair that would get stuck in the drain. Not to mention the poop. With his luck that animal would hate him instantly and wait just to shit in his shower.

Again they fell into silence. Sephiroth wiggled a bit, pulling his hair out from under his back and yanked his gloves off to tangled his fingers with Cloud's. Where had Cloud even come up with the idea to have a goat. As far as he knew, his lover had never even seen one, let alone touched one to know that they were soft. Hmm... He frowned, thinking back to the farm they had visited out of some sick, twisted idea that Cloud would like to ride horses. Well, he did. Sephiroth, however, did not. They had no goats.

"Cloud, where did you even see a goat?"

"Hm?" The blonde turned to look at him, not a tear in sight and the General narrowed his eyes. "Oh, um, Gen took me with him when he went to buy a chicken."

"...Genesis bought a chicken..."

"Yeah," Cloud said, nodding. "Twelve actually."

Sephiroth shook his head. He didn't even want to think of that at the moment. He would deal with where the hell Genesis was going to keep his own flock of chickens later. "He let you pet a goat?"

"Yep."

"I see."

...

"You may have a goat," Sephiroth declared, slamming to door closed hard enough to crack the wall.

Cloud blinked up at his soaking lover with wide eyes and dropped the book he'd been reading. It fell to the floor with a soft thump and was promptly forgotten as Cloud scrambled up and latched onto Sephiroth. Only to immediately recoil. "You're slimy!" He cried, furiously wiping his hands off on his pants.

The General's scowl deepened and he shook his dripping hair out of his eyes. "Yes. Thank you for the news flash. I am aware of my current condition. Do you want the fucking goat or not."

"Yes," Cloud chirped immediately.

"Lovely," Sephiroth replied, stomping around the couch and making his way to the shower. As he scrubbed the rank smelling, slimy water from his body he hoped that Genesis enjoyed the next couple years and he sincerely hoped that the god damn goat Cloud was going to pick out tomorrow shit in his shower. Every fucking day.

If you don't understand this. Well. That's okay. :)