Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.

AU: Callie has a unique set of job skills. Arizona finds herself in desperate need of the type of help that someone like Callie can give her. Drawn to each other, they fight to keep their relationship professional. Who throws in the towel first giving over to their personal desires?

AN: Involves discipline between two consenting adults. If that is not your thing, I understand. I won't hold it against you, so don't hold it against me :) Title from Lady Antebellum's song of the same name.

I'd Rather Hurt Than Feeling Nothing at All

Chapter 1: Into The Looking Glass

Arizona studied the plain nondescript brick town house in an upscale part of down town Seattle. She double checked the address on the piece of paper in her hand, and double checked the street address. The entire block looked to be various sorts of businesses from acupuncture, massage therapy, and even a psychiatrist! Arizona was skeptical that the place she was supposed to be at would be located in such a low key area. She expected the place to be located in a sketchy area, adorned with bright flashing neon lights. Amsterdam's red light district came into her mind, but considering how difficult it was to get an appointment, she knew better. She needed a referral from an already established member, a detailed history including a physical, and a background check. It was a lot, but overall, she was glad things were taken so seriously. Arizona approached the door to the brownstone. She tried the handle only to realize it was locked. It was then she noticed a closed circuit video camera, and a buzzer. She felt a little bit like Alice in Wonderland but instead of ingesting a magical liquid that would transport her to a different world, all she had to do was push a button. She didn't hesitate.

"Please look into the camera and state your name," a female voice said over the intercom. Arizona looked up facing the camera, "Arizona Robbins," she said with more confidence than she actually felt. There was a pause, then a buzzing sound.

"You may enter," the voice over the intercom said. Arizona grabbed the door handle with trepidation preparing herself to be transported into a whole new world.

It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the softly lit waiting area she walked into. She blinked a couple of times to assist her vision. Again, it was not at all what she expected when she was told about this place. She expected something like a medieval dungeon or torture chamber. But instead, she was met with walls painted in a warming earthy tone. The boring might call it beige. There was a couch, and a love seat upholstered in cream colored suede. There was a fire place in the center of the room that was filled with lit candles emanating a soft glow. There was also two matching arms chairs with ottomans on each side of the alcove created by the fireplace. Soft relaxing music was playing over the stereo system. Directly across from the fireplace, on the other side of the room was a young woman sitting in what appeared to be reception area. She was behind a large mahogany L shaped desk. Arizona approached the woman expectantly.

"You must be the voice behind the intercom," she laughed nervously.

"I am," the woman said brightly, "My name is Candy," she said extending her hand in introduction.

"Candy," Arizona chuckled inwardly to herself, "Finally something that does fit!" Arizona shook the proffered hand politely introducing herself.

"Of course you are Arizona," Candy said cheerfully, "Do you have the release forms with you so I can add them to your application packet?"

"Oh yeah," Arizona mumbled handing the packet over to Candy.

"Great," she said, "I'll just need to copy your driver's license for you file." Arizona rummaged through her purse in search of her wallet. She dug out her license handing it over to Candy. She quickly copied it giving it back.

"Have a seat, make yourself comfortable," Candy suggested, "I need to review your paperwork for completion then give it to the boss for your assignment. Then you are on your way." Arizona walked over to the chair sitting catercorner nearest the fireplace sitting down. She chewed her lips second guessing her decision t come here. She had tried different things in the past from binge drinking to one night stands but nothing seemed to dull the razor like pain of burden she felt. A good friend of hers, who was an established guest, suggested this process to her. At first, she laughed it off, but one night she found herself alone with her alcohol and cigarettes. She'd just had an encounter with a girl that she couldn't remember her name or even remember if she asked her what it was. Arizona wasn't on that roof to commit suicide, but it was on that roof that some clarity was delivered unto her. She remembered the place her friend told her about, figured she had nothing to lose at this point, and that is how she ended up at the establishment known as Velvet.

"It is all here," Candy announced getting out of her seat, "I'm going to pass it on," she told Arizona heading up the set of stairs. Arizona sat on the edge of the chair in anticipation of what came next.

Meanwhile, Candy walked down the hallway leading to her boss' office. At the top of the stairs to her left was a full bathroom, to the right was two rooms. One was a spare room that was never really used. The other room was a room for the employees to change in and relax in. Each room was tastefully decorated with comfort and relaxation in mind. At the very end of the hallway, was the room used by her boss for an office. Candy approached the door to the office knocking softly.

"Come in," her boss said. Candy opened the door. Her boss was sitting behind her desk, while her colleague and best friend, Cristina sat across from her.

"What have we got Candy?" Her boss asked authoritatively.

"Arizona Robbins ma'am," Candy responded softly handing over the file to her boss. Her boss took the paperwork from Candy.

"Thank you Candy," her boss said, "That will be all."

"Yes ma'am," Candy said taking her cue to leave closing the door quietly behind her.

"You sure got her trained well," Cristina said with total admiration in her voice. Callie laughed out loud.

"Yeah," she agreed, "They all come in here arrogant and cocky thinking no one can take them down but it is another story after they meet Kat," Callie said referring to her favorite instrument of discipline.

"Kat's no joke," Cristina agreed seriously.

"Listen to this," Callie said to Cristina reading out of Arizona's file, "Arizona Robbins, 35, pediatric resident at Seattle Grace Mercy West hospital."

"Isn't this a little dark and twisty for someone that works with kids day in and day out," she commented dryly.

"Maybe," Callie said offhandedly studying Arizona's picture intently, "But nothing surprises me anymore." Something about Arizona's picture captivated her. Maybe it was the way Arizona's smile didn't fully reach her eyes or maybe it was the hint of the something hidden deep behind the deeps of her shiny blue eyes. Callie was intrigued by this woman and she wanted to know more.

"Since Meredith called in sick I guess I better go and get ready," Cristina said getting up out of her chair but Callie stopped her.

"Wait," she said, "I got this one."

"What?" Cristina asked dumbfounded, "Did you just..."

"You heard me Cristina," Callie replied sharply, "I got this one."

"But you haven't taken a client since..." Cristina began.

"I am well aware of that, thank you," Callie retorted with an abundance of irritation.

"Are you sure?" she asked clearly concerned.

"I'm sure," Callie told her friend, "Besides you will be watching, right?"

"I got your back Callie," Cristina told her friend reassuringly.

"Okay then," Callie said getting back to business, "Have Candy get Dr. Robbins ready for me."

"No problem, Callie," Cristina said as Callie strode to a huge walk in closet. She heard Cristina tell Candy to prepare Arizona for her appointment.

"You have about 15 minutes or so," Cristina informed entering the closet to find Callie staring intently at the collection in her closet.

"Plenty of time," she stated, "Help me pick out an outfit to wear."

"Oh yay!" Cristina said bored, "A clothing montage is a dream come true."

"Shut up and help," Callie said nervously, "It's been awhile!"

"Okay, okay," Cristina acquiesced, "But since I do this for a living, no questions or complaints!"

"Yes ma'am," Callie responded wryly.

"I can't work with you breathing down my neck!" Cristina complained.

"What. I'm not," Callie replied indignantly.

"Whatever," Cristina said with a dismissive wave of her hand, "Go do your make up and let the master work."

"Fine but I don't want to look like Morticia Adams," Callie instructed before leaving.

"Yeah, yeah," Cristina grumbled shooing Callie away, "Morticia Adams is hot." Callie stripped naked donning her gray silk robe while she prepared her make up. Callie began her preparation with her long, dark tresses pulling it back and twisting it into a severe styled bun. She contemplated whether or not to pull it back into a pony tail but decided the bun was more optimal for the part as well as for the work since it wouldn't interfere with the job she had to do. Then she set about her make up. She applied a powder base, followed by a foundation to even out her appearance. She then used primer, eye liner, and eye shadow to give her eyes the smoky bedroom eyes. She completed her look with a darker shade of red lipstick. She surveyed her artwork and was satisfied with her look. She felt she look tough yet sexy, controlled, and totally in charge.

"Yeah," she thought regarding herself appreciatively in the mirror, "I still got it!" Callie got up realizing it was taking Cristina awhile to pick out her outfit. Cristina's delay could mean one of two things. The first option was that Cristina was taking so long because she didn't feel any Callie's wardrobe was sufficient enough. It had been awhile. Or, Cristina was feeling like a kid in a candy store not sure what to pick out. Callie hoped the end result would be that she looked fantastic. It was imperative that she make a mark with her appearance.