Half and Half
An Inuyasha Fanfic by Elusion
Chapter One

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Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all characters therein belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Video. Not me.

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Inuyasha's heart pounded as he rolled the pink glass ball in his hands. He had a decision to make, and it was not going to be an easy one. He was a half breed, an outcast on both species of his family tree, but now was his long-awaited chance to... fit in. He could change himself. He could wish to no longer be a two halves of a person, as he often felt he was now, but to be whole: to not have his two parts constantly fight over each other, to be at peace with himself.

And yet, he had almost grown comfortable with his half-ness. He found that he usually got the better end of both parts in this way. The healing powers and extreme strength of a youkai, and the emotions and love of a human. The question was, which was more important to him?

In the past he had hated his human heart, thought of it as his "weakness," but now he found that indeed it was one of his strengths. Humans live less than youkai, and are determined to stuff in as much fullness into their short lives as is spread out in the centuries that youkai live. He had realized that his strength in character, his determination, courage, and loyalty came from his human heart. He mentally notched up a point for his human half.

And yet, the youkai part of him had an allure. He had dreamed of turning youkai for years, to take revenge on his brother, to become stronger, to show up the youkai who had teased him, even tormented him, for years; and to be like his father. He took pride in being part youkai. He was stronger, faster, and more deadly than a mere human, and more capable of protecting himself... and Kagome.

Kagome. The name alone made his heart beat faster, and a pleasant fuzzy warmth steal over his mind, much like being drunk. Yes, admit it or not, Kagome was the deciding factor. She was the one who had given him the jewel when their quest was complete, to 'do with as he felt best.' He had wondered whether she understood the freedom of choice she offered, but the look in her eyes told him she did. She would accept either choice, she seemed to say without words, something that Inuyasha could amazingly understand as easily as if she had actually said it. He marveled at this, wondering if her miko powers were improving, or the bond between them was just growing closer. Whichever it was, he knew she would still love him either way.

But could he love himself? Would he be able to forgive himself if he made the wrong choice? Suppose he turned human, but he could no longer protect Kagome from attacking youkai. He realized that in that case, with her miko power, she would be more capable of protecting him than he would her. His pride quailed at the thought. And suppose she was killed? Suppose she was unable to protect herself, and poor defenseless human Inuyasha couldn't do anything? Would not her death haunt him, pointing a mocking finger in his face, laughing at him, squealing about that stupid half breed Inuyasha who couldn't do anything right? Couldn't protect his mate?

No, he couldn't allow that to happen. But then, the only other choice was youkai. A shudder ran down his back at the thought of what happened when his youkai blood took over. He became a mindless puppet of bloodlust, a destruction machine with no regard to human life. Part of his mind screamed that it wouldn't be like that if he turned full demon, but what if it did? Was he willing to take that chance?

Then there was always a third choice. He could do nothing, he could stay a hanyou forever. He wouldn't mind it, things had gone well so far. After all, Kagome had fallen in love with him as a hanyou, had she not? He almost decided on that, had not another thought come into mind. The jewel. If he neither turned human or youkai, the jewel would continue to exist. Kagome would stay priestess of the jewel, and be forced to guard it, youkai constantly attacking her to get it. Inuyasha would always be there to help, of course, but what would they do as they grew older? They were both in top shape right now, but would they be able to guard off demons when they were in another twenty years? Thirty? And he had seen what a lifetime of guarding the jewel had done to Kikyo. She had become bitter and hard. Inuyasha had told the truth when he told Kagome he loved her for her, not for being Kikyo's reincarnation. He didn't want pure, sweet Kagome to become bitter and twisted with a hard life fighting off youkai consistantly.

What would they do if another Naraku came into being? They had barely beaten the baboon skin clad evil, though the proximity of death had finally made them realize their feelings for each other. What if there was another powerful youkai after the Shikon no Tama? Would they be able to handle it?

He sighed. Now he was back at the beginning, three choices, and frankly, none of them seemed very good to him. Power, emotion, or a destructive middle ground. This decision was too serious to be made quickly.

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Kagome sat in the remains Kaede's hut. Only it wasn't Kaede's anymore, not since the woman had died by the claws of Naraku's minions, who had attacked the village whilst Inuyasha and Kagome were traveling in search of shards. That kind of attack appealed to Naraku, as he had used it with Sango- destroy the ones close to your enemy, and then attack while they grieve. Kaede had led the villagers in a brave defense, and it was probably all because of her that any of the village was still standing at all.

Kagome tried to shake herself from her gloomy thoughts. Yes, she missed Kaede and resented that she was gone when they still needed her help, but she also knew her older friend and teacher had died as honorable a death as she could, and had saved many lives. Her soul was at rest, and that was some small comfort to Kagome. But she still wished Kaede had been able to teach her more about being a priestess, now that she was going to stay with Inuyasha more she had a feeling she would need to know. She would still visit her family, but her heart belonged with a dog boy in the Sengoku Jidai.

"And tests be damned." she muttered with a slight grin. She had been failing school anyways. Who needed to know algebra in the feudal era anyways?

She heard footsteps approaching the outside of the hut. She prepared herself for Sango or Miroku to enter, so she was surprised when the door opened to reveal red robes and white hair.

"Inuyasha," she whispered. Her heart thudded hard. She told it to slow down, she had been awaiting this moment for the past two days. Inuyasha had gone off by himself to contemplate the use of the jewel. His return could only mean one thing.

He had decided.

She looked up to him, and his golden eyes touched upon her for a moment before they quickly turned away. Despair rose in her heart as he refused to meet her gaze. Her heart quickened as she felt her fears were confirmed. She nodded resolutely, and took a deep breath as if taking a huge burden upon herself.

"So that's your decision."

He looked up in surprise. How had she known? Maybe it was as he had felt her acceptance earlier, they didn't really need words to communicate.

"Yes." he muttered in a rasp voice, pushing doubt back a final time. He had decided and was going to go through with it, no matter what the consequences.

Kagome fought back tears as a major turn in her life had just appeared before her eyes. She said a silent farewell to the Kagome she had been the past year, the school girl doubling as a shard detector, with a major crush on a hanyou from another time. After all, it wouldn't be too different, Inuyasha would still be the same person inside, wouldn't he? She sat up and put on a firmly cheery grin.

"Well, then lets get this done with, shall we?" she said in a cheery voice to match the grin. She wished again that Kaede were here to oversee the casting of the spell.

Inuyasha sighed in relief. So it was okay with her. He was afraid she would be unhappy, that she wouldn't still love him. He should have known better then to doubt.

He handed her the jewel, and she could see that he was relieved she didn't mind. She wanted him to be happy, that's why she had let him decide what to do. She would love him no matter what, she would always love him. She would stay in his time forever if that would make him happy. Before she had known his true feelings, she had been willing to let him be with Kikyo if that was who he loved. Now she was glad her willingness to sacrifice her happiness for his had not pushed her so far. She absently rolled the pink jewel the size of a large marble in her hand, chewing her lip in thoughtfulness.

"I think we should try simply saying what we want the jewel to do." she said after thinking things through. "Kaede said once that the desire is what really forms a spell, and the words just provide a structure. So as long as we mean what we say, it should work."

He nodded. He knew next to nothing about magic, but it seemed logical.

"Perhaps we should say it together, it might add more power to the spell."

Again Inuyasha nodded, and he placed his hand over hers and the jewel. She looked up, and saw for perhaps the first time ever, fear in Inuyasha's eyes. She suddenly became afraid too. What if the spell didn't work? And what would happen to him if it did? How would things change?

She shoved away those thoughts. Whatever happened, happened.

"Alright, at the count of ten we'll say it." The pounding of her heart defeaned her, and her hands shook ever so slightly.

"One...two...three.."

She absently noticed that his hands were shaking themselves. Her voice was weak, but grew stronger with resolve.

"...seven...eight...nine...ten."

They simultaneously took deep breaths, and began chanting the most fateful words they would ever say;

"Make Inuyasha a-"

"Make me a-"

"-youkai."

"-human."

Their eyes widened in horror when they realized what they had just done, but a cloud of pink smoke materialized around them, and it was too late.

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Kagome coughed on the sweet smelling smoke, the odor of which was growing ever more pungent. The sharp smell seemed to even further sharpen her other senses. She felt lightheaded and dizzy, yet strangely stronger and more stable then she had ever been before. Odd sensations went through her body at an alarming rate. She could only stand in stupor and wonder what on earth was happening to her. The smoke reluctantly cleared, and she could hear the coughing and sneezing of Inuyasha, oddly loud in her ears. Something was strange about her ears.

She could finally make out the outline of Inuyasha standing before her, and gasped. He hadn't changed! He was still the same, white hair, claws and all. Then what just happened?

He drew closer, and he could hear him gasp as well, and again, it seemed strangely loud. She could see his face now, and the look of utter astonishment on it. She wondered if she looked as surprised as him at this turn of events, but his surprised look was directed to her! What was wrong with him? And where had the jewel gone?

She looked in her hand. It wasn't there. But if the spell hadn't done anything...

She absently noticed her nails looked funny. 'This is no time to be admiring your nails', she reprimanded herself. But she hadn't remembered them being this long, she noted, turning them over to get a better gaze. Or so sharp...

"Ka- Kagome?" Inuyasha finally managed to rasp out. By now the smoke had completely cleared, and left nothing behind but slight sparkles in the air like the last of a handful of thrown confetti catching the light. Her ears swiveled towards the sound of Inuyasha's voice and her gaze followed.

Wait- her ears... swiveled?

She glanced back down at her nails, and then hesitatingly brought her hands up to her head.

Yes, there they were, her ears.

"Kagome.. You're... a.."

"Hanyou." she said in a whisper.

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End Chapter One