Guilt

What happened that night that Reid was found and Tobias Hinkel died. JJ is suffering with Guilt, Emily gives her comfort. Emily/ JJ Femslash.

Back at the hotel Jennifer Jareau stood under the hot water of the shower and tried to wash away her anguish. Today had been her own personal hell, and at the same time she was relieved. Spencer Reid was safe, although not totally unscathed. JJ still kept feeling the deep pangs of guilt, what ifs coursing through her mind, driving her to the brink of insanity. She turned off the shower, took a deep breath, stepped out, dried herself with a towel and put on a white cotton robe. Then she stepped into her lonely hotel room and grabbed a small bottle of vodka from the mini fridge. She stood opening it and sank it down in one. She didn't even feel it, let alone taste it, she took another and did the same, JJ rarely drank like this and part of her knew she shouldn't be doing this now, but she needed something, something to help her get through the night. Then as the liquid sank into her pores and gave her just enough of a buzz to help her relax a little she heard a gentle knock at her hotel room door. Her eyebrows creased in frustration, she was also worried, what if something else had happened? Her heart began to thump in her chest as she reached out and opened the door.

"Emily." JJ let out a breath she had been holding, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Emily reassured her, "I just wanted to see if you were okay?"

JJ nervously smiled, "You didn't need to."

"I wanted to." Emily replied honestly, the concern clouding her deep brown eyes.

"Do you want to come in?" JJ asked, realising that standing in the corridor of the hotel having a conversation wasn't the best idea.

Emily nodded and smiled and followed JJ into her room. The profiler watched as JJ walked over the the mini fridge and took out a small bottle of vodka, "Drink?" JJ asked as she turned to look at Emily across the room from her.

Emily shook her head, "I'm good thanks." Then she moved across the room towards JJ.

JJ sipped from the bottle this time, her head slightly buzzing from the first two bottles. Emily waited for Jennifer to speak. "I'm sorry about earlier." she finally said finishing off the drink and dumping the bottle in the trash can near her.

The brunette looked puzzled, "What for?"

"You know," JJ smiled nervously, "I didn't mean to imply you were unfeeling."

"Oh that," Emily nodded, "I didn't think you did." Emily stepped closer to Jennifer and took her hand in her own. She could see that the blonde agent was struggling and she could tell by the slightly glazed look in her eyes that this wasn't the first drink she had tonight, she could also tell that JJ had been crying. "It really wasn't your fault you know." she told JJ softly.

JJ looked down at their hands, fingers entwined, it felt remarkably comforting, she looked up to Emily's deep brown eyes, "I cant get the thoughts out of my head," her brow creased, Emily could see the anxiety written all over the younger woman's face. "I keep going over it in my head, which is completely pointless because what is done is done, I cant change that Reid was abducted, I cant take back his pain." Emily could see tears starting to form in Jennifer Jareau's eyes and it caused her heart to go out to her.

"Hey," Emily said softly rubbing JJs shoulder now with her free hand, "Its understandable, any one of us would be feeling the same. You have been through a lot too."

JJ looked at Emily with eyes so unsure, "I should have gone with Reid, I shouldn't have let him go alone." Tears started to fall and all Emily could think to do was show her new friend comfort, she pulled JJ close and held her, and that was when Jennifer began to sob uncontrollably.

After a moment they parted and Emily reached into her pocket for a clean hanky which she handed to JJ. The blonde took it gratefully and wiped her eyes with the rather expensive piece of cloth. Emily placed her hand to Jennifer's back and led her to the bed, JJ let herself be led and sat down with Emily sitting beside her, still with one arm rested around the blonde in comfort. "Better?" Emily asked with a slight smile on her lips.

JJ nodded, "Thanks."

Emily reached up with one hand and wiped a stray tear from the blonde face, "You missed one," she told JJ with that same smile, one that was now melting Jennifer Jareau's heart.

JJ smiled for the first time that evening and looked to Emily's eyes, all she could see there now was concern and she knew that the profiler wasn't has hard as people thought she was, the woman was definitely mysterious but in a good way. "So who is Emily Prentiss?" JJ suddenly enquired, wanting to get to know the profiler better.

Emily gave a small nervous laugh, she wasn't used to talking about herself, "Oh, Just an ordinary FBI agent and a bit of a nerd."

JJ laughed a little, "A nerd?"

"Yeah, but you don't want to hear about that." Emily mused, "Its not exactly my best point."

JJ smiled warmly now at the profiler, "I quite like nerds."

"You do?" Emily raised an eyebrow in surprise, "Nah, your just being kind." she smiled and JJ smiled with her. "Well at least I got you smiling." Emily added and squeezed JJ's hand.

"You did, and I am grateful." Jennifer replied honestly and then began to yawn. The day was catching up, the vodka too.

"Hey," Emily said concerned, "I should go, let you get your sleep."

JJ looked at Emily sheepishly, "Would you stay?"

Emily looked unsure, "Here?"

"Sorry," JJ replied hesitantly, "I am being silly."

"No," Emily replied immediately, "I'll just go get my bag, I'd be happy to keep you company. I do know how it feels to be alone after something like this." Emily stood to leave and JJ watched her with intrigue.

Jennifer Jareau felt like a weight had been lifted, how Emily had managed to achieve that she wasn't sure, but she was so glad that she wouldn't be sleeping alone tonight. She changed from her robe into her redskins t shirt and a pair of shorts for bed while Emily was gone. Then she slipped into the bed and lay on her side, waiting for Emily to join her. And for the first time in days she felt herself beginning to really relax both physically and mentally. And for once her thoughts had drifted from the madness of the past few days to an entirely difference subject, Agent Emily Prentiss. She couldn't deny her attraction to the brunette. She had tried hard to hide it and thought she had done a pretty good job so far. No one on the team knew that JJ was gay except for Spencer, she hadn't felt the need to tell anyone else, she liked to keep her private life exactly that, private. Although she was sure her best friend Penelope Garcia had her worked out, but even she didn't pry, knowing how JJ was. The only reason Reid found out was because he had asked her on a date once. One she had really enjoyed but felt it only right to let him know that she was only interested in the fairer sex, as they shared popcorn and watched the redskins from their very expensive seats, thanks to two tickets that Gideon had provided. Spencer had been a little surprised but promised her secret was safe with him and from that day forward their friendship had grown. No one else knew JJ quite as much as Spencer did and that was part of the reason she was still hurting so much from what had happened with Hinkel.

JJ was pulled from her thoughts as Emily entered the room, go bag in hand. Emily closed and locked the door behind her and placed her bag down. She walked over to the bed and sat down, looking at JJ. "Still awake then?"

JJ nodded and smiled, "I think its going to be a long night."

Emily pushed a stray strand of hair from Jennifer face without even thinking, it was a tender gesture and JJ felt it. "I'll just go get changed, be right back." Emily told the blonde as she stood. She paused when JJ called to her, "Emily."

"Yeah." JJ had her full attention and she wasn't quite sure what she had done to deserve it.

"You are just a big softy at heart aren't you!" JJ smiled. The vodka loosening her tongue more that usual.

Emily laughed, "Shhush dont tell anyone." Then she continued with her go bag into the bathroom to get changed.

JJ smiled to herself as she rested back down on the pillows, Emily Prentiss was making her head feel dizzy, or was it the alcohol... but no she hadn't had that much she reasoned. Now JJ couldn't stop thinking about that smile of hers, that laugh, just about everything about her was currently giving JJ goosebumps. "My god what did they put in that vodka?" JJ smiled to herself.