Disclaimer-I may tell people otherwise but I don't own Harry Potter.

This is part of my series in which the Marauders write letters to people in case they to Sirius:

Dear Padfoot

And now the end is near And so I face the final curtain...shit a brig it's stuck! I don't think anyone will forget that show in seventh year.

So I guess this is it. I am dead. Well I'll be the first to say that I never saw it coming. Yep, not even with Voldemort after my blood.

Well anyway mate, I miss you and have no idea what I'll do without you, there will be a lot less embarrassing situations at least. If I was the first of us four to go then damn! I always wanted to be the last Marauder, just to prove a point.I know that if I'm dead then it means that maybe Peter betrayed us, but I doubt it, I probably did something stupid and got caught. Either that or Lily killed me - look after her please, and Harry.

I hate writing this; it feels like I'm calling the fates on me - Christ! I sound like Peter! There's another one you will have to look after. Make sure he doesn't lose his head or end up lost in Bridlington again. Same goes for Moony, get him a girl and don't let him listen to David Bowie. One more rendition of Sound and Vision will most likely be the cause of my death and the reason you are reading this letter right now.

Whatever happens I want you to stay safe and sane, you have people to look after as well as yourself. I have left you and Remus a decent amount of money and a few possessions, I won't tell you what as I want it to be a surprise when my will is read out. Keep fighting too, not only against Voldemort but against life as well, whatever it throws at you I want you to give it the finger and get right back up again.

I demand a nice tasteful funeral with burlesque dancers and fire eaters. My coffin will be lowered to the countdown theme tune and you will all wear black and cry a lot. Despite that I want you to get over me and not brood to long, I know you - you'll turn into the prince of darkness and shout at everyone... actually knowing you you'll get incarcerated for indecent exposure and all that money I give you will be used as bail. If you find it too hard to cope then I recommend turning into a dog permanently, and I don't care what you say about the damn fleas. stop moaning you wimp! How about my bloody antlers, eh?

I think that now is the time for the touchy feely stuff: You are the best mate a guy could ask for and for that I am eternally grateful, I wish you and Mary the best life possible and ask that you live it to the full before it's too late. You are more than my friend - you are my brother and though it may sound gay as hell you have been like my other half; my crazy, man-whore, morally wrong and politically incorrect other half.

I don't really have that much to say, Pads my friend. I always thought that I would have something incredibly witty and clever to say before I died but the truth is I don't have anything at all so I'll just leave you with this-

I love you, mate!

Well I did it my way!

James

P.S. Lily says she loves you.

P.P.S. I have written a list of excuses just in case. Pass them onto Harry when he's older.

Excuses

1. That woman in the bedroom was my healer, she was just giving me the once over for testicular cancer.

2. I cannot come to work today because we had a party last night and now there is a strange man in my bed.

3. The kneazle/dog/crup did it.

4. I'm late? I thought you were early!

5. Voldemort did it.

6. It's the Ministry's fault.

7. I don't have that paper because someone said you were a rubbish head of department and it got torn up in the fight as I defended your name.

8. I'm not drunk I'm just chemically inconvenienced.

9. My wand is broken.

10. I never said you were fat I just said there was a lot of you...personality wise I mean.

So what did you think? This one isn't my best one and I have the others written except for the final one which I'm having a bit of trouble with. I had trouble with this one as well, but oh well.

The next one is Peter to James.