My name is Sandra Lolita Andes. The sweetest girl ever. Here's the thing. When the other girls learned how to win boys I discovered the wonders of a hairbrush. In other words I'm a social reject. My best friend, Joe, the Giant Squid, is misunderstood like me.

I'm not even that ugly. Just visualize this.

A petite girl with silky dark curls that framed her creamy face. Her midnight blue eyes glowed with laughter.

Don't I sound just lovely? Yet I only have one good friend. Most of the girls in my year stink anyway. Pretty Miss Perfect (aka Lily Evans) is a prissy girl who's obsessed with herself to notice James really likes her. A lot. She sucks up to teachers and believes in becoming a nun and good grade. Horrible right?

Then there's The Happy One, Alice Prewitt. She's so giddy and cheerful and bloody annoying! She's such a whiney baby and pretends to be sensitive. Whenever she doesn't get what she wants she cries until the victim feels guilty. She's going to take over the world with tears and smiles. I know. Creep.

Let us not forget Pinky Binky or in other words Charlotte. She wears so much pink it's scary. She's really scary too. She's a total tomboy that wears pink. She tells us she isn't girly and she doesn't know what make up is even though she wears a cake of it every morning. I know. Typical.

These are the popular gossip girls of our year. The girls bathroom on the sixth floor is their Gossip Central. There other suck up girls try to win them over by doing them favors. The other popular group is the Marauders. They're obsessed with Pranking and Quidditch. Let us start with the group leaders shall we?

There's James Potter, I prefer to call him The Nutty Vase. He's nutty because he spends half his life stalking Lily (he even knows her favorite shirt brand) and Vase because its like Lilies in a vase. Get it? No. Oh well. He's Quidditch captain and he loves to brag. I have to agree with Pretty Miss Perfect on this one. He really is an arrogant toe rag. I feel sorry for him though. I don't know why he likes her but I know he really means it.

Then there's Sir. Eat-a-lot. Loves pranking and eating more then The Nutty Vase too. Those two are practically brothers. I wonder if I hit one of them will the other feel it too? Maybe I should try it one day. He has a new girl on his arm every week. Of course he's currently going strong with Pinky Binky but that's only because he doesn't know she's cheating on him with Mr. Idiot (Argon Nott) so yeah. Dramatic anyone?

Then there's Remus Lupin (Santa's Good Elf). He's like all into good grades and stuff. Did I mention he's a super ultra creepy werewolf? I figured out in my first year. The Marauders didn't figure that out until third year. Unlike the others he actually knows my name. Thank you.

They're all the most popular kids in Hogwarts. Oh lookie it's a butterfly.

I think that's a torture device.

No not the butterfly.

The stairs.

The evil stairs.

They grab me and toss me down.

Yes indeed it is a torture device.

Now I shall attempt to challenge it.

Wish me luck.

I don't have any luck.

So you have to wish me it.

Or else.

Or else what?

Or else I'll eat you.

I am too a cannibal

You don't believe me.

How rude!

Are you trying to say you don't trust me!

I wouldn't trust me either.

I forgive you.

See how kind I am.

Sigh.

Oh yeah I'm about to challenge the Torture device.

Here I go.

I step carefully on The Torture Device. I haven't fallen yet. Hooray! I take another step. Then I fall. Ouch. The common room erupts in laughter.

I know you're laughing too.

Stop laughing.

Please review. Pretty Please. With cherries on top. Come on it's for our awesome main character.

Sandra: Why do they need to know my story? It's mines you know.

Lady Tia Malfoy: So they can Review

Sandra: Oh. Do I get paid?

Lady Tia Malfoy: Um sure. Whatever you want. (nervously laughing)