Hey

This is my very first attempt at writing a story so I'm a little bit nervous.

This was originally planned as a one shot but depending on the response I get I might change in into a two shot. I have an idea of where I could take this.

P.S. sorry to make my very first story a depressing one.

I hope you like it, let me know what you think :)

Alex

-x-

Summary

The memory will be forever etched into my mind. The day my life changed: the day I lost him.

Not a Steve/Danno slash but can be viewed as one.

I Remember ...

*Danny's POV*

I remember the day I received the dreaded news. I never would have thought I would actually say this, but it was worse than the day I received Rachel's divorce papers.

I remember the way that Army official walked into the office that morning. I remember the look on his face when he handed me that letter. I can still hear Steve's voice in my head, correcting me. "It's the Navy Danny, the Nay-vee." I can't help but smile at the memory.

I remember feeling as though I had lost part of myself when I read those horrible words 'killed in action' and 'body never recovered'. The truth is I didn't just lose a part of myself, I lost a part of my family. After Rachel re-married and Matt left, Steve was the only one there for me. He was the only person I could trust. I didn't realise it at the time but he was as close to family as both of them. He was like a brother to me and I never got the chance to tell him. They say 'you never know what you've got until it's gone.' I just didn't think it would ever apply to me. I suppose no one ever does really.

I remember the way Kono cried when I told her. Real heart wrenching sobs. The way Chin just stood there, his face as calm as ever. His eyes told a completely different story though. His eyes showed pain and emotion.

I remember holding onto Kono as she cried. I remember telling her it was going to be okay. How can I tell her something like that when I don't even believe myself? I'm such a hypocrite.

I remember driving to Rachel's house wondering what I was going to tell my little girl. I remember sitting in my car outside the house for ages, not having the courage to walk up and knock on the door.

I remember the look on my daughter's beautiful face when I eventually did gather the courage to tell her that her 'Uncle Steve' was never coming home. I remember seeing the confusion in the her eyes and then the tears that soon followed. I remember hating myself for the fact that I couldn't cry.

I remember holding Grace's tiny body while she cried all the while trying to force myself to show at least some emotion. Anything. But no, nothing came so I am here, comforting my daughter to the best of my abilities while I stand alone, broken inside.

I remember the look of pity Rachel gave me when I told her what had happened. Like she cared, she barely even knew him.

The next week went as a blur and then suddenly I was looking out from the podium at Steve's funeral, about to give my speech. I remember seeing so many tears as I spoke but still I couldn't cry.

I remember standing at the edge of the grave watching my best friend's empty coffin be lowered into the ground.

I remember feeling appalled at the fact that Mary-Ann hadn't even bothered to show up at her own brother's funeral.

I remember the empty feeling I had inside my chest when I was handed that folded flag.

I remember how grateful I felt when I arrived back home and everything could just slow down for a while. I put Steve's flag on the table and went into the kitchen for a drink. The moment I walked back into the room and picked up that flag it felt like the weight of the world had suddenly been placed onto my shoulders.

I then realised that Steve was never coming back. He would never get me shot at again, would never be able to blow anything else up, would never be able to take my daughter out for another shave ice. He would never argue with me, never just sit through my rants with nothing more than a smug 'are you finished?' when everyone else would have just told me to shut the hell up already. He would never be waiting for me when I feel like a beer, would never be able to help with my problems with Rachel. He is never going to be there for me when I need someone to talk to. I'm never going to see my best friend again.

He's never coming home.

That was the moment the tears finally came. I dropped to my knees as my legs didn't seem to be able to take my weight any more. I curled up on the floor holding that flag to my chest and just sobbed. I'm not sure how long for. I'm now left with just my memories and the painful fact that this flag is the only thing I have left of my best friend - no, brother.

I remember thinking that Hawaii was just starting to feel like home. I had finally begun to feel like I belonged here, I had a reason to stay. Now the world is crumbling down around me and nothing will ever be the same.