The July sun glared down on Freddie Benson as he made his way up the porch of his longtime friend, and more recently his girlfriend, Sam Puckett. Behind him, his mother's parked car sat on the curb, as he couldn't afford his own wheels yet. He'd been up the stairs of the Puckett porch quite a few times in his day, but in past experiences, he had only been going because Carly dragged him. Now, he went because he liked being with her. When he first met her, Freddie thought Sam was some kind of demon in human form, sent to earth to make his life miserable. But over time, they became friends despite their endless differences, and after five years of hatred, they ended up in love. She wasn't what you would call the conventional girlfriend, but then again, nothing about Sam's personality had ever been close to normal. Stepping through the mess of dead leaves and garbage on the chipped wood floor, Freddie grasped the screen door handle and yanked it open.

Inside, he wasn't surprised to find Sam sprawled out on the couch, fast asleep, in the middle of one of her many afternoon naps. Not fearing he'd wake her up, due to her being an extremely heavy sleeper, he pulled his shoes off, tossing them aside, and made his way to the kitchen to get out some bacon, which he knew would put his girlfriend in a good mood, which was always good news for him. A few months ago, he was completely unaware that Sam had developed any other feelings for him besides hate. And honestly, he didn't really know how he felt about Sam until two days after she had kissed him at the lockdown. That's about how long it took him to process everything that had happened, and once his head was on straight, everything became clear. He loved the demon. She, of course, thought she was out of her mind for liking the dork. But once they got her out of the mental hospital, things got better between the two. Carly, having secretly wanted them to get together for years, helped push them closer in their weak moments, or when Sam felt the need to torture her favorite nub. Eventually they agreed that talking about it a million times wasn't getting them anywhere, so one day Freddie showed up at Sam's house, and declared, "Come on Puckett, we're going on a date." Sam being Sam, couldn't resist making fun at him a little for his cute, but geeky attempt at being spontaneous, but nevertheless, they went out to dinner. And so it began. So what if they were both crazy? As Freddie saw it, if she was insane, he was insane.

Freddie knew that there were only three things on the planet that could wake up Sam Puckett. And one of those things was hot bacon. And not missing a beat, Sam jolted up out of sleep, just as Freddie was certain of, and bounded into the kitchen. Now bacon was something she loved, but when she saw Freddie standing there making if for her…well, there was no need to explain the way that made her feel. He flashed one of his heart stopping grins when he saw her, and swooped down for kiss as she stood on her toes, something they had both gotten quite good at. She plucked a piece out of the skillet and bit off a rather large chunk.

"Mmmm…you make good bacon, boy." She praised him while she chewed. That kind of thing, coming from Sam, was a major compliment. He began to say something, but she interrupted. "And I'll be needing lots of in now that my mom took off." She said this casually, as if she were discussing their next iCarly episode.

Freddie stopped flipping the meat. "What? What do you mean, 'took off'?". Sam just nodded and continued on in her casual tone, "Yep. She ran off with some trucker, or apple picker, or something. Hey, focus Benson! You're burning my bacon!" When he just continued to stare, his eyes shocked, she rolled her eyes and shoved him over. "Oh, just let me do it," She said, grabbing the spatula out of his grip. "Amateur," She muttered. Freddie crossed his arms.

"So you're saying she just left you? Completely just left?"

"Yes, Fredward. I think I made myself perfectly clear."

"Just…left. With an apple picker? Who runs away with an apple picker?"

"I don't know! It's my mother we're talking about."

"She just ran away with some dude and left you here alone?"

"What is wrong with you? Do you think it's your hearing or something?" She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "MY MOM IS GONE!" She yelled in his face. "SHE LEFT. BYE BYE. GONE. NOT HERE ANYMORE. GOT IT?" She turned back to the bacon.

He seemed to come to his senses about then, and spun her back around. "Well...then what are we doing here cooking bacon? We have to tell someone!" She flicked his forehead. "You tell someone, and you will not see the light of day for a very long time, you hear?"

He crossed his arms once more and gave her his best, brave look. "You don't scare me," He said, his voice shaking slightly.

"Oh. Sure. And your mother doesn't clean out your ears monthly." Freddie rolled his eyes.

"Sam, let me help you."

"No, I'm serious Freddie. You better not tell anyone."