Pudding
A/N: Jack crack, mein freunds. Jack crack. Enjoy!
Jack Spicer was worried. He felt sick, which wasn't too strange, seeing as how he got pummeled about every other week, but this kind of sickness was weird. It only happened around... her. He wasn't sure what this feeling was, but it made him uncomfortable, and that was the worst thing to feel around her.
She was unlike anything he'd ever seen. She was perfectly sweet and, every now and then, perfectly cool. She had this outer shell that made it hard to get to her, but if you could get it off, the real her was revealed. But for whatever reason, he felt sick around her. It took a while for him to understand what that weird feeling inside him was, but he wasn't called Evil Boy Genius for nothing. Soon he realized exactly what was wrong with him.
He was in love.
But the future Prince of Darkness doesn't fall in love! He makes killer robots and lies and cheats and steals and most certainly DOES NOT fall in love! No way, no how! He crushes the dreams of others, so he can't possibly have dreams of his own! Especially when they were of her. So, just to double check, he went to her. He spoke, quietly but sincere, that tumultuous feeling bubbling ups from his stomach once more.
"I'm here to talk to you about... well, you. Whenever I'm around you, I get this weird feeling, like there are butterflies in my stomach. I hate butterflies. So I had to talk to you about it. Don't think I don't know what it is. I understand perfectly. For the longest time, I thought I was alone, but now... now I have you."
He picked her up, pulled off her wrapper, grabbed a spoon and ate her. "I love you, pudding cup," he sighed happily. "Well, I did. But I had to eat you some time or other!" he chirped as he tossed her into the trash.
A/N: I WARNED YOU DIDN'T I? Ahem. Yes, Jack loves pudding. So, I wrote about it. Feel free to tell me what a horrible person I am; I'll just laugh and nuke your hometown. While stroking a white Persian and wearing an eyepatch. Oh yeah, I really am that evil. :D