One Moment

#56: "Remus and Sirius had feelings for each other while in school, but never acted on it."

(Written for the Head Canon Challenge by sheworksfortheweekend on the HPFC)

October 31, 1981

Remus Lupin paced back and forth. The old wooden floor creaked beneath his feet. The eerie noise made his hair stand on end. The memories that he had of this place were pouring over him. Why was he here? He closed his eyes and imagined the message again...

He was sitting in a plush armchair in his living room, staring at the fire when a silvery dog came into his room. It looked at him and spoke, "Let's go to the old spot, shall we, friend?" Then it disappeared. It was a Patronus, he knew, but who had sent it -

He stopped and stood up. Then he turned on his heel and strode out of his house.

Sirius. It had to be. He didn't know anyone else with a dog Patronus who knew about the 'old spot,' which was his and his friends' nickname for the Shrieking Shack. But where was Sirius?

There was a sound of claws scratching against wood. Remus followed the noise to the corner of the Shack and saw a pair of black dog paws sticking through a small hole in the wall.

"Get back!" he exclaimed. The dog paws disappeared and he raised his wand, "Reducto."

The wall was blasted with the spell and the hole became much bigger. Remus lowered his wand and watched as a big black dog crawled through. Once it was in the Shack, Remus and the dog stared at each other for several moments. Then, Remus went to his knees and hugged the dog around its neck. The dog transformed into Sirius Black, who hugged him back.

"R-Remus," Sirius said, his voice quavering.

"Sirius, where have you been?" he asked. "I haven't seen you - "

Sirius gently pushed Remus away from him, gripping his friend's shoulders. His tear filled eyes stared back into Remus' confused ones.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked slowly, fear washing over him.

"J-James..." Sirius said, swallowing. "James a-and Lily, th-they're d-d-dead."

Remus' eyes widened and his hands went to his head. No. It couldn't be. They were starting a family, they had a son -

"Wait," he said. "Their little boy, Harry? Is he...d-dead too?"

"No, he's alive," Sirius replied, smiling slightly. "Hagrid's taking him to live with his aunt and uncle. Dumbledore's orders."

Remus nodded. "That's good. But...how did he survive?"

Sirius shook his head, his eyes filled with disbelief. "You-Know-Who couldn't kill him. Imagine that. The Dark Lord unable to kill a baby. Well, he tried to and something snapped inside of him. His body got blown apart. He's gone, Remus."

The Dark Lord...gone. No wonder everyone seemed so excited. He figured that it was because of Halloween, but it seemed he was wrong. But how did You-Know-Who find them? Sirius was the Secret-Keeper, so how -

"You betrayed them," he whispered. His eyes lit up with fury and he grabbed Sirius by the front of his shirt, pulling him up to his feet. "You betrayed them! You told him where they were! You're a traitor!"

"No, no!" Sirius shouted. "I didn't! I wasn't the Secret-Keeper! Peter was! Peter betrayed them!"

Remus let him go and they staggered away from each other. Tears were streaming down their faces as they stared at each other.

"How do I know to believe you?" he asked.

"Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?" Sirius countered.

Remus didn't answer. He sank down to the floor with his back against a wall. He shook his head. "It can't be...dead..."

Sirius sat in front of Remus and put his hand over his friend's. "I was the original Secret-Keeper, but I changed it to Peter. I figured that he wouldn't be targeted, a pathetic thing like him, and that since everyone would think I was still Secret-Keeper that they'd go after me instead. But Peter was a traitor."

"That lying - " Remus stopped and looked up at Sirius. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Sirius stared at the floor. "I thought you were the spy. That's why I didn't trust you. That's why I wasn't talking to you anymore. I'm sorry, Remus, I - I didn't know who to trust."

Remus looked sadly at him. "Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?"

Sirius frowned and moved away from him. It was true. He should've had more faith in Remus and less faith in Peter. If he had, Lily and James...they wouldn't be...

He stood up. "I'm going to find Peter."

Remus' eyes widened. "No, Siri - "

"I'm going to find him and I'm going to kill him," Sirius said, fists clenched. "He's going to pay for what he did."

Remus stood and placed his hands on Sirius' shoulders. "Please, don't do anything rash. Let's go to Dumbledore, he should know what to - "

"No, Remus," he said. "I need to do this."

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I know you do. I just wish you didn't."

Sirius placed a hand on the side of his friend's face and smiled. "Don't worry about me."

They looked into each other's eyes then - grey meeting brown - and wistfully remembered the old days before all the danger. Remus and Sirius had feelings for each other while in school, but never acted on it. It was simpler to ignore the feelings and continue being just friends without complicating anything.

Now it was just too late.

"I always worry about you," Remus said. "Force of habit."

Sirius cracked a grin at that.

"Sirius, please, think this through," he pleaded. "Killing a man...that's a crime. Let the Ministry take care of him."

"I don't know if I'll kill him or not," Sirius admitted. "But I do need to see him. I need to hear why he betrayed them."

"Will it matter why?"

Sirius didn't answer right away. His heart thudded painfully in his chest. "No, probably not. But I need to do it anyway."

Remus sighed and pulled away, turning his back to him. "I have a bad feeling about this."

"You and your bad feelings," Sirius said, shaking his head.

He turned around and glared. "I'm not joking! For once, Sirius, would you listen to me and let this be? !"

"I always listen to you," Sirius said softly. "But I can't let it be."

"You'll get in trouble," Remus told him. "I know you. Something's going to go wrong and you're going to get into trouble."

"I'm always in trouble," replied Sirius nonchalantly. "And I always get out."

"But James and I won't - " Remus stopped and looked away. James would never be there to get them out of trouble ever again.

"I'll be fine," Sirius said. He turned and walked back to the hole in the wall.

Remus grabbed his wrist and Sirius spun around. They stood there stubbornly, neither one giving any ground. Then, it all melted. They lunged at each other with a hungry passion and their lips collided. Their bodies pressed together as their arms wound around each other. This forbidden feeling that they'd never allowed to surface was now roaring out of the depths, threatening to consume them.

After some moments, Sirius broke away from the passionate embrace and quickly transformed. He crawled through the hole and disappeared into the night to find Peter Pettigrew.

Remus stared at the hole for a while, and then sat down on the old chair that resided in a corner. He didn't think that once Sirius found Peter that Sirius would be framed for betraying Lily and James. He didn't think that Sirius would be arrested and thrown into Azkaban Prison. He didn't think that he wouldn't see Sirius again for twelve years.

All he thought about was him and Sirius. They'd always been best friends and had always cared deeply about each other, but knew that they couldn't act on it. Even now, as grown adults, they couldn't be together. It was time to move on. These were dangerous times. Even if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was gone, Death Eaters still roamed everywhere. Simply loving someone could put them in danger.

Remus got up from the chair and descended down into the tunnel that led to the Whomping Willow. He paused and looked back at the Shack. He smiled and felt incredibly thankful that, at least for one moment, they were allowed to throw caution to the wind and truly feel. He would carry that one moment with him forever.

This was my first time trying something like this, and I'm pretty proud of it! Please review!

~Kicon