Spring was approaching more quickly than I had anticipated, but it could have had something to do with the amount of work I'd been doing around the farm to prepare for the upcoming season change.

I had filled the greenhouse with seedlings to plant as soon as I could be sure the frosts were over, helped Freddy make sure the livestock would be bearing a new generation once the cold weather let up and joining the other women in constantly complaining about the mud being tracked into the house

Despite all of the preparations wearing me down, I didn't think spring could get here soon enough. Our food supply was starting to dwindle and with our cows and goats pregnant, we didn't have the milk to fall back on. At least all of the work took my mind off of the tragedies that had caused it.

When I did get a chance to sit down, it was usually during planning sessions the men were having. Shane decided he wanted to see if there was anything else worth taking at that strip mall we'd hit on our way back from Area three while Dale and Rick thought we needed to get more supplies to reinforce the fences. I thought they were good ideas, but they wouldn't be able to do anything until the roads were clear. None of them had outfitted their cars with snow tires and the blustery weather was only just starting to let up.

Daryl sometimes took me on hunting trips in the woods beside the compound. I was grateful; Vicky had set her sights on Freddy since the Songbird incident before Christmas; even though he blatantly rebuffed her advances, it nauseated me to see how she flung herself at him. My brother might be desperate right now, but he would never be that desperate. Besides, nothing calmed my nerves better than killing things… Well, almost nothing. Rick always did a pretty good job of keeping me relaxed.

The days were starting to warm up and I found myself spending more time out in the orchard again, just to get away from the noise of having fourteen other people constantly under my feet. I had just finished E.M. Delafield's Diary of a Provincial Lady for the millionth time and was walking back to the house when I heard Songbird telling her dog, "Quit looking at me like that! It's your own fault; you're sexist and I have had enough!"

"So, he's being condescending again, is he?" I asked, leaning against the side of the barn

"Ah! You've noticed it too!" Songbird replied dryly.

"Only when he talks to you. You are the only person who hears him after all." I responded.

"Whatever!" She retorted. "You know it's true" She walked over to me and we made our way toward the house. "I haven't seen much of you lately."

"I've been busy I guess." I shrugged.

"Yeah." She spread her arms out wide to gesture at the farm. "What with all this… and Rick."

"Yeah." I smiled. " I do..um… do Rick a lot."

"And who could blame you?" I she shook her head. "I told you it was all pros, didn't I? Not a single con to be seen!" Her face went dark for a moment as she muttered, "Depending on how you do it."

"What does that mean?" I asked, surprised, but then I'd never really been interested in Daryl Dixon's bedroom prowess. "It's great no matter how I do it… and that's saying something… it turns out I'm kind of a freak in the sack."

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. "Yeah. I know." I opened the hatch to the cabin and she made her way down the ladder. "You and Rick can be freaky on your own time, just stop giving Daryl horrible ideas." She called back up to me.

I slid down on the railing and quirked an eyebrow at her. She looked around the hall and then grabbed my arm to drag me into the command center, slamming the door behind her.

"I don't know how it works for you, but there are areas of my body that are pretty much exit only." She blushed as the words ran out of her mouth.

"Hmm." I rested my chin on my hand and looked her over. "I just don't think you did it right."

"What other way is there to do it?" She asked exasperatedly, throwing her hands up in the air and turning away from me."Oh my God!" She clapped her hands over her mouth as she saw Daryl, sitting in Rooster's chair with his arms crossed as he stared at her with a horrified look on his beet red face. She moved her hands to cover her eyes. "I am so sorry! Why didn't you tell me you were here?"

"I was kinda hopin' this was just a bad dream." He finally choked out after a minute of continuing to look at her with his mouth wide open.

"Look, none of that matters! I told them, taking a seat next to Daryl and looking both of them over clinically. "The real issue is that you two are making a horrible mistake and I need to rectify it immediately!"

Songbird giggled nervously at my use of the word 'rectify'. I smiled, my use of puns had apparently done its job of loosening them up…well, her… Daryl was just giving me a murderous stare.

"I mean, I know from experience that it… is…wonderful…" I grinned as I remembered my encounter with Rick the previous night. "And you two must have really fucked it up. So… tell me what went wrong."

"No." Daryl said flatly as Songbird dramatically called out "How could it ever be right? It just isn't… natural!"

"Mm-hmm." I nodded and steepled my fingers in front of me. "I see. And did you clench?" I asked, sounding amazingly professional for just having said the word 'clench'.

"I am not going to answer that!" Songbird recoiled at the question at the same time that Daryl said. "Yeah, she did."

"And did you use a lubricant of any variety?" I asked, picking up a notepad and beginning to doodle on it.

Songbird clamped her mouth shut and leaned against the wall, but Daryl seemed willing to comply. "Kinda." Was all he said as he gestured at Songbird's privates.

"Daryl!" She squealed. "We had a deal!"

"Okay, so just to be clear," I began, putting my doodle down and looking at each of them in turn. "You didn't really use lube and you clenched up. I can see why you stopped there, but…"

"She didn't tell me…she didn't tell me and she cried… and… and she didn't tell me!" Daryl said, narrowing his eyes on his woman.

"You mean…" My eyes went wide in realization. "Damn it Songbird, you idiot!"

"Haven't I been punished enough?" She burst out. "There is a lot of him and I am a tiny little person."

"Right." I nodded. "So, if you ever decide to try this again," They both scoffed loudly at that, but I continued. "You might want to get your communication in order, along with lots of lube and even more foreplay. That is the key; being ready for it via relaxation and lube. I really can't stress that enough."

"And where would I get all that lube you keep talkin' about?" Daryl asked sarcastically.

"Well, if you really need it, I have plenty… I stocked up on it on our last looting trip." I offered.

Daryl cocked his eyebrow at Songbird in a silent question.

"No! No! Never again!" She threw her hands up in defiance.

"Pussy." I scoffed under my breath.

"What did you just call me?" She leveled look of pure contempt at me. "Fine. Go get it then."

I got up and walked out without another word, but gave Daryl a discreet wink before I stepped through the door. I went to my room and rummaged through my drawer, trying to decide which of the bottles I would be willing to give up when Rick walked in.

"Oh, feeling playful?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Um…no… I need some lube for something with Daryl and Songbird."

He tensed.

"I mean… they need some… I was just going to give it to them and walk away." I babbled. "Hey, did you know that they are terrible at the ass lovin'?" I asked, wanting to deflect attention away from my misstep.

"How could you be bad at that?" He sat on my bed and pulled me into his lap. It seemed I was forgiven.

"He didn't use lube and she clenched." I said with a shake of my head.

"What?" He sounded appalled. "I specifically told him to use lube."

"I know, honey… he used… um… her…"

"No wonder she clenched up." He nodded. "So, the sooner you take this to them…"

"The sooner I can meet you back here." I smiled.

"Hurry up." He slapped my ass as I got up to leave.

I walked back into the command center to find Songbird and Daryl exactly where I'd left them, both physically and emotionally.

"I didn't say it was your fault, I just said it wasn't good." Songbird was saying through clenched teeth.

Daryl spat out "Yeah well…" And then stopped when he saw me.

"Don't stop on my account." I told them as I tossed Daryl the clear plastic bottle I'd brought. "From what I've seen of the two of you, this is your best foreplay session yet."

Daryl stood. "Alright. Let's go." He leveled a finger at Songbird.

She looked confused and terrified. "Wha… right now?"

"Yep." Was all he said as he led her out of the room with one firm hand around the back of her neck.

"Ahh, young love." I teased as they walked past me.

"I didn't hate you before… but I will let you know where we stand later." Songbird muttered from down the hall.

"You're going want to thank me." I replied and turned to make my way back to my room when the radio sputtered to life.

"Hello? Can anyone hear me?" Was the panicked cry from the other end. "Please! We need help! Can anyone hear me?"

I stood frozen for a long moment, wondering why the radio was on in the first place. After the incident at Area three Rick had turned it off, refusing to acknowledge the existence of the other groups.

"Someone has to be out there, I heard you! She is going to die, we need your help! Anybody!" The plea brought me back to the present and I assumed that Daryl had been in here messing around with the equipment before Songbird and I walked in.

"I'm here." I said as I slid in to the chair. "What's your emergency? Over."

"My wife, she's having a baby and we thought we could handle it on our own, but there is so much blood and she's been in labor for days." The man's voice had calmed down a little, but he was speaking so fast I could barely understand him. "She is in so much pain, please we need your help."

"I…" I began, but Rick walked into the room, looking a little annoyed when he found me sitting at the radio. "I will see what I can do. Look, I can't promise anything, but I will try to get you some help, okay?"

"Please!" He begged again. "I can't lose her! She's all I have left!"

"I'll try. Over and out." I put the mouthpiece on the table and turned to look at Rick. "His wife is having a baby; he thinks she might be dying."

"I feel bad, but we aren't going back to Area three." He said evenly.

"It was Area two." I corrected him. He kept giving me that blank emotionless look and something in me started to crack. "God dammit, Rick! What if it was me? What if I was having your baby and there was no one there to help?" I stood up and walked over to him. "What if I was going to die? Wouldn't you want someone to help? We have to help!" I ended my tirade in a whisper, looking down at our feet because I couldn't stand to see his face while he was picturing me dying.

"Damn it, woman! You're going to be the death of me, you know that right?" He put his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. "Don't ever say that again. I won't let you die."

"We have to help them, Rick." I said softly into his shirt.

He sighed. "I'm not going to win on this, am I?" I just shook my head, and his shoulders slumped a little. "Alright, we'll talk to the rest of the group and see what they have to say."

About an hour later, everyone was in the living room deciding how to handle the new situation. Surprisingly, Lori took my side; but I suspected it might have hit a little too close to home for her. Not everyone was convinced we should stick our necks out, Daryl even said something along the lines of 'they got themselves into that mess, they can get themselves out.', but I couldn't get around the fact that it would just be inhuman to leave them there to suffer like that.

"We have it so easy here." I muttered. "Even with all of the work we have to put into it, we are lucky to have what we have. I don't want to put anyone in danger either, but people are already in danger and I can't just sit idly by while they die. And not just die, but suffer until they finally just shut down." The words came out quickly through a stream of tears. I had no idea where all of the anger was coming from, but I was angry at them all for taking advantage of the safe haven my fathers had built without adhering to the code of honor they had fortified it with.

"So, we're supposed to go running every time somebody out there calls for help?" Daryl asked incredulously. "That's just stupid if you ask me."

"I didn't." I snapped. "And it isn't like there are a whole lot of people left out there to call for help anyway."

"And what's your plan?" Shane inquired, his hand resting on Lori's shoulder. She looked shaken and a little taken aback that there was so much resistance.

"Well, we go; we deliver the baby; we bring them back home, or take them to Area three. I guess we can leave that up to them." I listed the items on my fingers.

"Yeah, that sounds so easy." Daryl scoffed.

"We also have to remember that Area two had been nearly completely overtaken by walkers." Dale added thoughtfully.

"And is anybody here even familiar with delivering a baby? I mean, doing like a doctor's job, I know you guys delivered babies before." Glenn asked, addressing Carol and Lori as she brought his ramble to a close.

"I can do it. I've been delivering livestock since I was ten and how different is it really?" Freddy told them with a shrug.

"I would imagine that would be harder. I mean… babies don't have hooves." Songbird agreed.

"So, Freddy and I can go then." I said, ignoring the menacing looks the older women were giving Songbird.

"Not without me, you aren't." Rick stated, crossing his arms. I could tell that he was torn between being irritated that I was so set on doing this and wanting to jump into the rescue mission head first. I knew he had never been one to stand by when someone needed help and I was the only factor in this case that made him hesitate.

"I really want to go since I didn't get to go last time." Songbird chimed in. "I'm a circus performer, dammit! I need to travel!"

Daryl pulled her around so he could look her in the eye. "I didn't let you go to Area three and we thought that was safe. What makes you think I'd let you go now when we know that place is crawlin' with walkers?"

Freddy leaned back against the wall with a snort. "Here we go."

"You got something to say to me, boy?" Daryl's eyes narrowed in on my brother.

"Look, you're the one that keeps telling yourself that she's an adult and that what you're doing is okay; but I think that we can all agree that you haven't really treated her like a grown up this whole time." Freddy's voice was filled with the same conviction I felt for the victims of Area two… maybe he hadn't quite gotten over Songbird as well as I'd believed. "Let her make her own damn decisions, it isn't like she can't handle herself out there. Have a little faith in the woman you claim to be in love with."

Songbird's eyes glittered up at my brother, verging on tears when she turned to face Daryl one more time. "Look, I respect your opinion, but it is my decision to make and if the rest of the party has no objections I would like to tag along."

"I don't see how it's any of your business what my girl does." Daryl snapped at Freddy before casting his glare at Songbird. "If you really wanna go, then I guess I have to go too, but I ain't gonna pretend like I think it's right." Songbird just nodded up at him, but didn't look as triumphant as I was sure Freddy did about the outcome.

"So, anybody else?" I asked the group at large.

"I ain't got a lot of room in the truck and we're bringin' people back. I think five is plenty." Daryl said gruffly.

Freddy and I took about half an hour to gather the supplies we thought we would need before meeting the rest of the rescue party out by the truck. Songbird had Michelangelo sitting up front with her and Daryl looked none too pleased, but I couldn't tell if it was because of the dog or his general dislike of the idea of going.

"Is there any way at all that I could talk you into staying?" Rick asked as he lifted me into the truck bed.

"I kinda wish you could, but it would be torture to have to wait for you to come back." I told him softly. "I think it's better that we stay together, don't you?"

"I think it would be better if we were staying together at the compound." He muttered.

"Yeah, like you would have ignored that call for help if I hadn't insisted on going." I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Damn it woman, you know me too well." He said before shutting me up with a kiss.

The trip down to Area two took a while longer than I had anticipated; there were a lot of cars built up on the road and it only got more congested the closer to Wichita we got. Daryl did his best to drive around the build up, but there were times that we had to get out and push the obstructions out of the way.

From the description we were given, we knew that we were going to have to cross a bridge on foot before we actually got to the small correctional facility that served as 'Area two'. The bridge was completely littered with broken down vehicles ranging from a moped hanging on the railing, threatening to fall into the deep ravine below, to a large fuel tankard that was laying on its side .

"I don't like this." Rick said under his breath.

"It's not like we haven't had to get out of the truck before now." Freddy told him dismissively. "And we're lucky we still have some daylight left."

"I don't know." I muttered. "I have a bad feeling about this too."

Songbird nodded at me and stood a little closer to Daryl who said, "We still have a chance to go back home… where we oughta be."

"No." I said resolutely. "We've already lost so much time. I just hope Liz hasn't… well, I just hope we have time to help."

"Alright then," Daryl shouldered his crossbow. "Let's get a move on."

We made our way gingerly over the bridge, checking every car we passed to make sure nothing was waiting there to surprise us. I noticed some movement and turned around; there were a few walkers slowly making their way toward us from the road we'd come from. They must have heard the truck's engine and were only just now reaching us.

Rick noticed that I had stopped and turned to see what had gotten my attention. "Keep moving." He ordered just as Freddy let out a surprised yelp.

By the time we reached him, Songbird had already brought two walkers down with her knives and Freddy was pulling an arrow out of a third's eye socket. "Those fuckers came out of nowhere!" He said through ragged breaths.

I noticed that his shirt was ripped and I ran over to him. "Damn it, Freddy! Are you okay?" I asked, pulling his shirt up to make sure he hadn't been bitten or scratched.

"Yeah, they didn't touch me." He soothed. "Almost… but you know I'm untouchable, Lucy."

"Right." I rolled my eyes just as Rick threw himself in front of me and shot off a round in rapid fire.

"Run!" He yelled at me. I turned to see what he was shooting at and backed into a Dodge Charger when I saw the number of walkers coming at us. I fumbled with my bow, but he grabbed my arm and yanked me away toward the other side of the bridge.

I could see that Daryl had Songbird under his arm as he sprinted past us. "I told y'all we shoulda stayed home." He called back to us. Michelangelo was hot on his heels, but not going nearly as fast as he could be; it looked like he was worrying over Songbird as much as Daryl was.

"Shut up and move!" Rick told him, moving as fast as he could while still shielding me with his body.

"Just go!" I pushed him. "I'm right behind you and I promise I won't do anything stupid."

Daryl got to the gate first. "Let us in!" He yelled out and a short balding man with a bit of a beer belly ran out of the building and opened the gate.

"Hurry up!" He shouted at us.

We all ran in and the men helped him close the gate as quickly as they could just before the walkers caught up with us.

"Where the fuckin' hell were you?" Daryl turned on the man as soon as he knew we were out of immediate danger.

"I could see you from the window. I didn't want to be out here…" The little man started to sweat under our collective derision.

"Just take us to Liz." I muttered and he led us into the building.

The little man's name turned out to be Ed; he tried to give us a bit of a tour on our way to the infirmary, but stopped when he saw that none of us were really interested in anything he had to say.

"Shaun is in there with her." He told us when we reached the sick room. "I hope you know what you're doing because she's been at it for days."

Freddy just walked in without a word and I followed him, trying to soothe the mother and father as a fresh wave of pain washed over her.

"It will be okay." I shushed. "Freddy does this all the time."

"Thank God you've come!" Shaun told us in a crisp British accent.

"Why don't you go try to relax?" I asked, leading him to the door. "This will be a lot easier for both of you if you get some rest."

"I don't want to leave her." He stated, but he sagged against the wall as he said it.

"I promise to come get you at the slightest change." I patted his back and he reluctantly left after giving his wife a kiss on her forehead.

Liz actually did really well in Freddy's competent hands. It turned out that she had been holding back out of fear and her husband's anxiety hadn't helped to ease it in any way. She had a pretty little baby boy… okay… his face was all smashed from being in the birth canal for so long; we'd had to kind of push his nose back into place, but other than that, he had ten fingers and ten toes and Liz thought he was perfect.

I left to gather her husband and Songbird caught me in the hall. "What's happening?" She asked.

"Um, the baby is on the outside, and his mother is feeding him." I said nonchalantly.

"It's a boy? Aww! How cute." She crooned.

"Sure, if you say so." I started to walk away. "Where did Shaun go?"

"Third door on the left." Daryl told me from a bench in the corner as Songbird ignored me and walked into the infirmary. Michelangelo was sitting with his head in Daryl's lap and Daryl was absently stroking his ears back. Poor Daryl, I bet he didn't even realize how much he really liked that dog.

"Thanks." I saluted him and left to find the happy father.

We stayed till morning, refusing the meager breakfast that Shaun offered us; I told him to give mine to Liz because she needed as many extra calories as she could have. We were gathering up the few supplies we'd brought with us when he pulled me off to the side.

"I think that I should tell you that Ed…" He trailed off, looking for the proper way to tell me what he wanted to say. "He…uh… he rigged the bridge with some explosives we found in the armory here."

"What?" I asked. I must have looked pretty shocked because Daryl came over to see what we were talking about.

"We didn't know if any help was coming and it seemed like a logical way to limit access from those things." He explained.

"What seemed like a logical way?" Daryl asked.

"They have explosives on the bridge." I told him.

"So that thing could have blown the entire time we were on it yesterday?" Daryl raised his voice so that everyone in the hall was looking at us now.

"No, no, nothing like that. You have to be out there to do it; we didn't have anything to really detonate it with but a fuse." Shaun went on.

Freddy had helping Liz out of the infirmary, she was able to walk but still weak from being in labor for so long. I was sure that things would be easier for her once she got her belly full and some water back in her system.

"So where do we stand on this whole explosive thing now?" He asked without turning around. "Are we still going to be safe going over the bridge to get home?"

"Fuck yeah! My bomb is the bomb! No worries." Ed assured us. I don't think any of us had it in us to believe him.

Either way, we began the trek over the bridge, now with the added stress of knowing it could only take a spark to end all of our worries for good. The men walked out in front, checking to make sure that nothing was within biting distance while Songbird, Michelangelo and I followed them and Freddy dragged behind, trying his best to help Liz as she attempted to walk.

"I could use some help here!" Freddy shouted and I looked back to see that Liz was doubling over and my brother was close to falling with the woman pulling on one arm and the baby squirming in the other.

Songbird didn't hesitate before running back to relieve him of the baby so he could use both arms to carry Liz. Michelangelo on the other hand stopped for a moment and looked between Daryl and Songbird before choosing to stay with the latter.

I turned back around, but Daryl cursed under his breath. When I spun back around, there was a small hoard of walkers shuffling into the space between my brother and me.

"Freddy!" I called, causing the undead to turn their attention to me.

Shaun had attempted to run to his wife, but it hadn't taken him long to fall. His body was overwrought from the stress of starvation and… well…stress. He collapsed in the middle of the road and Rick and Daryl ran to scoop him up and carry him to the truck.

That was when I noticed Ed. He had a nervous, almost insane glint in his eyes as he began to walk one way, then swiveled on his heels and walked another only to do it again. He stood still for a second, mumbling to himself before digging in his pocket and bringing out a lighter.

It took me a moment to realize what he was going to do, but I still had time to grab his arm and pull it away from the fuse before he had a chance to light it.

We struggled for a few minutes, he looked like he barely knew where he was, so I tried to slap some sense into him. "No! You can't do that! There are still people on the bridge!"

"Fuck them!" He shouted back, trying desperately to throw me off and finally succeeding. "If I don't do something we're all going to die!"

"No! I…am… not…going…to…let…you …do…this!" I panted as I struggled with him.

"Hurry up!" Rick called to me. "Lucy get in the truck. Now!"

I was distracted for long enough for Ed to manage the fuse and run back to the truck.

I could feel my eyes widen in terror and I grasped Daryl's arm for support as I looked back at my brother who was still making slow progress on the first quarter of the bridge, taking even more time now that they had to avoid walkers as well. "Oh God. He lit it." I muttered.

I turned to look at Rick who was torn between coming to get me and guarding the two men in the truck from the ever nearing hoard, then ran back so that Freddy and Songbird could hear me as I yelled. "Go back!" I made my motions as big as I could so they would understand as I waved toward the jail. "Go back! The bridge is going to explode."

There was only a brief moment for the words to sink in before Freddy adjusted the woman in his arms so he could grab onto Songbird's waist and turn on his heels so that they were running back to the relative safety of the corrections facility. 'We can go get them.' I thought as I watched them run through the gate and into the building. "It might take a day or two to go the long way around, but we can get them." I let out a sigh of relief when I saw the door shut behind them.

There was a report as the first explosion went off and pulled me out of my ill timed reverie. I turned, but found myself held in place by what must have been a huge man at some point; all that was left of him now was a gaunt corroded shell covered in lesions and pus. It held on to my arm as I struggled to get free, pulling my kilij from its sheath just as the thing's teeth stabbed into my flesh.

I pulled my blade up and let it fall down on the walker's neck so that it's head rolled by my feet as the rest of its body fell on top of it. "Oh God. Oh God. Oh God." Was all I could think as looked down at the two crescent shaped wounds on my arm. "It wasn't real." I closed my eyes tightly for a moment and opened them again, but the laceration was still there.

I looked up and met Rick's eyes across the bridge. 'Oh God, how could I be so selfish?' I thought as I saw the tears rolling down his eyes. I couldn't bear to look at him, it was too much. Everything had happened in the span of a minute, but in that minute I'd lost everything. I'd cost him everything.

I looked back up, but not at Rick. I looked past him at the ever growing group of walkers making their way toward him and the truck, I glanced over my shoulder and knew that there was really only one thing I could do now. He couldn't hope for me, I couldn't let him bear that; but I could at least save my brother and my friend. There had to be hope somewhere in that.

I put my hand in my pocket and found the little baggie I'd put there. Rick didn't like me to smoke, but I couldn't think of a better time to defy him. It took me a minute to light it because my hands were shaking so violently but somehow I managed. I let myself take a couple of long drags before I looked back at Rick, who was being forcefully dragged back to the truck by Daryl.

"I love you!" I called to him. "And I am so sorry."

I clamped my eyes shut. 'Think of something, anything but this. You're going to die happy damn it!'

I imagined my mother's face the first time I won ultimate grand supreme at a glitz pageant.

'No. That didn't make you happy.'

The feel of wood as my daddy helped me shape my first simple bow.

'Closer.'

Me and Freddy sneaking out in the middle of the night to do God knows what .

'Think harder.' I pushed myself.

Ricks hands as they caressed my curves. The husky quality of his voice as he told me he loved me. The look in his eyes when I told him I wanted to marry him.

This life is over, but at least I was given one last dream to hold on to.

And I did. I held it close as I let the joint fall from my hand into the pool of gasoline at my feet. The flames licked up my legs as they ran down the streams of fuel to the rest of the explosives.

Rick's voice rang in my ears. 'I love you.'

"I love you too."