Summary:

When Alessa Gillespie, the ruler of the cursed town of Silent Hill, catches the interest of a certain witch, what will happen? Umineko x Silent Hill crossover.

"My, my. Such a run-down place."

A lady dressed in an elegant, old fashion dress stood on the asphalt street, looking around in curiosity. That was certainly a sight you wouldn't imagine seeing in the middle of a ghost town, but there she was, her golden hair up with a hair decor similar to a rose.

Standing beside the lady was a man with a monocle and mustaches, holding a parasol over the lady's head so that the snow falling from the sky wouldn't mess up her clothes or hair.

"Are you sure this is it, Ronove?" the lady asked without even bothering to look at her servant. The butler-like man nod.

"I am. This place truly is the abandoned town of Silent Hill, lady Beatrice."

The lady reached her hand out of the parasol's shadow, allowing a snowflake to land on her palm. As it did, she caught it between her fingers and rubbed them together. As a result she noticed her fingertips getting black color on them. Ash.

"What an interesting dump this is", she stated blankly with a look of a surprised puppy in her sky blue eyes. She offered her hand to Ronove, who cleaned the ash off her fingers with a napkin.

The butler also looked around a bit and nod in approval.

"Indeed it is, lady Beatrice", he stated. "Ah, may I suggest us to move somewhere save? Lady Gillespie's furniture is well known from it's rude behavior."

"I guess an apple never falls far from the tree, then", the lady murmured in a bit of frustration. "We have just arrived and our host is not even here to welcome her guests."

Reluctantly, the lady started taking firm steps on the street to find a place they could rest in and wait for their host to appear. The butler followed his master obediently.

Minutes changed into tens of minutes. The lady was truly getting frustrated now.

"I wonder where our little upstart is hiding", she sighed, holding back her annoyance. Just wait until she'd get her hands on that beginner. Making her, Beatrice the Golden, walk around a dump like this and not even sending servants to guide them to the tea room... how annoying indeed.

The misty air was already getting on the lady's nerves when she finally saw something in the fog. A figure of an unknown person or creature approached her and her butler from behind a car. The lady looked at the thing down her nose as she got to see the monster fully. Such a hideous thing. It had no arms or a proper face and its skin looked as if it had been turned upside town. It also had a hole on its stomach.

"I do not know about her powers yet, but when it comes to furniture, she seems to have no taste at all", the lady commented, facing the beast with a bored expression.

The monster screeched, jerking its upper body towards the lady, spitting something from its hole. The lady narrowed her eyes, disappearing into the tin air and moving behind the thing with the form of golden butterflies. When it turned in order to try and attack again, the lady kicked it off balance and cut its throat open with a single move from her magic wand. The monster cried out in pain before hitting the asphalt and forming a large puddle of blood from its wound. The lady snorted.

"You were right about the furniture. It sure is rude."

"That depends on the point of view."

As the lady heard a new voice reply her comment, she turned to face the one who spoke. The person was a young woman, probably still going through her puberty. She had a brown, almost black hair and blue eyes going well together with the blue school uniform she was wearing. As the lady looked the girl up and down, she couldn't help noticing just how flat the girl's chest was.

"Ah, lady Gillespie. How delighting it is to finally meet you", the lady greeted, sarcasm dripping from her voice like water drops from something wet.

The girl also faked a smile, just like the older one had done, and bowed. She had surely noticed the way the blonde had looked at her nonexistent breasts.

"It's such an honor to be able to meet you, lady Beatrice, the Golden", she said and took a look at the lady's butler. "You must be Ronove, the demon."

The older man bowed at the dark brunette.

"Nice to meet you."

For a moment the girl stared at the butler with a jealous blink in her eyes. She sighed and turned to look at the blond lady again.

"Please forgive my furniture his rude behavior. My servants are not so used to see guests that are actually invited."

Beatrice grinned a bit.

"Oh never mind that. I bet unwanted guests are really a problem here, then?"

Lady Gillespie nod.

"Indeed they are... and that's why I made them as horrifying as I could. To make human leave."

"Horrifying?" the blond one laughed. "You must mean ridiculous. That furniture of yours would never be able to sca-"

The monster that Beatrice struck down suddenly screeched and crawled at their feet pitifully. The blond lady was startled by the movement and she screamed in fear, backing of to her butler's embrace. The butler sighed and stomped his foot on the monster's head, smashing it completely. No more movement.

"You were saying, milady?" the man chuckled in amuse. He wasn't the only one. Lady Gillespie was also giggling like a teenager.

Beatrice closed her eyes and was barely able to keep her temper.

"Shut up..."

With that being said, both the young witch and the butler silenced, still grinning though. Alessa tilted her head on the other side.

"Shall we have some tea then?" she asked.

The blond was still annoyed for being laughed at, but she nod. Lady Gillespie hummed in satisfaction.

"Perfect. Let's get going then, shall we?"

She started skipping her way along the street, to the lake. Beatrice and Ronove followed her silently, even though Beatrice was rather annoyed for having to walk again. When it came to traveling, she preferred turning herself into butterflies and flying instead. Someone could call her lazy for that. Ronove had actually mentioned about it a few times, but Beatrice had simply ignored the word lazy.

"It's just not something a noble such as me should do", she had replied sipping her tea as if Ronove never said anything. "Now shut up, furniture, or I'll make you suffer."

And the demon servant had obeyed.

After a short walk and a long silence they finally reached the lake. It was covered with such a thick mist that you really couldn't tell if there was any water in it or not. The place that Alessa had chosen to keep her tea party in was a park by that lake. A park which was apparently named Rosewater Park. Unlike the most parts of the town, the park was calm and there was no monsters around at all... If the ones wearing a servant suit and waiting by the small, white tea table didn't count, of course.

"Beatrice, meet my most beloved furniture. This one here is Xuchilbara and the other is named Valtiel."

The blond couldn't help but stare at the two monsters in amaze. They both were seriously weird looking. The other one wore a helmet shaped like a triangle or something. That one was huge. Maybe two meters tall? Or even taller? Well, those muscles it had were quite impressive.

Oh, and the other monster... it had stitches over it's face where the mouth should be. It was very much like a human, but just like the monster that Beatrice had strucd down, its skin looked as if it had been turned upside down. Its head twitched and moved rapidly as if it was having a seizure. Just like the red pyramid monster, it wore a common servant's outfit with a clean, white shirt (the pyramid monster wore it unbuttoned), a tie and a black vest. They both looked ridiculous wearing those clothes.

"Uh... hello", Beatrice greeted hesitatingly, before sitting on the chair the other monster (apparently Valtiel) offered her.

Alessa clapped her hands and the red pyramid thing hurried away, probably to prepare the tea. The dark brunette smiled, watching her servant go, before she turned to face the other witch again. Silence. The blond witch coughed a bit.

"So... how does your new title as one among us witches feel like?" she asked.

Lady Gillespie shrugged.

"It's not that big deal. After all, I have been called a God too. Being called a witch is like a lower level."

Jealousy invaded Beatrice's chest. A God? That brat? Jeez. Where was this world heading to?

The blond managed to sweep that matter out of her mind in a few seconds and smiled.

"Let's talk about something else then", she said. "It must be hard to have a whole town under control. Even though I'm the Endless Witch, I still have nothing but a mere island... Do you ever get stressed?"

"A bit yeah", the smaller one admitted. "But that's where the fun starts. If there's intruders who fight well enough to avoid getting killed by my monsters, I get to play with their minds as much as I want."

"Ah, then we might just have something in common!" Beatrice said cheerily. "Nothing beats killing a human in a gruesome way on a boring day, right?"

Alessa raised her eyebrow at the comment.

"You kill them? Like, immediately? I always let them try to survive as long as they can. It's more fun that way."

"That must be a matter of taste", Ronove interrupted before Beatrice got to say the witty comment she had prepared. "It's not something that elegant ladies such as you should argue about."

The butler gave his master a meaningful look. Beatrice pursed her lips but didn't say a word.

That's when the pyramid head thing returned with the tea. It was placed in a cute, antique tea pot fitting to the small teacups on its sides. It placed the cups before the ladies and poured some tea in them before offering sugar. Beatrice chose two pieces of sugar, adding them to her tea and mixing it up with her small spoon.

"Thank you, Xuchilbara. Valtiel, would you get the cake for us?" Alessa spoke to her monsters. The one with a twitching head nod (or at least Beatrice thought so, it was hard to tell because of its vibrating) and left to the same direction that the pyramid head thing had gone just a moment ago.

Alessa blew some air at her tea in order to cool it down while gazing at the blonde witch.

"What is it like", she asked, "to be the Eternal Witch?"

"Oh, nothing much", Beatrice chirped, pleased for being asked that. "I like to play around with the Ushiromiya family a lot. Their fights about the inheritance of the oldest, Kinzo, is rather interesting thing to watch."

"I heard that you were locked up by that old man in the past."

Beatrice froze for a moment in the shock, but regained her confidence soon enough.

"I don't know what you're talking about", she murmured.

Alessa grinned in victory.

"I also heard that you're trying to convince a guy to believe in you. Is that correct?"

"Oh, you mean Battler? It's just a game we're having."

"So you play games... with a mortal?"

"Why yes. That makes us alike, don't you think?"

Now Alessa bit her lip in defeat. Beatrice faked a polite smile. Alessa saw the hidden sarcasm and sipped her tea in order to calm herself down. It was still too hot to drink though, so she was soon to pull the cup away from her lips and make a face in pain. Beatrice chuckled at the dark brunette's misfortune. For Alessa's luck Valtiel was already coming back with the chocolate cake. The smaller one gave the monster a quick glance in annoyance.

"Cut me a big slice, will you", she requested before turning her head back to Beatrice and looking grumpy. "Then how's the game going?"

"It's interesting. Ushiromiya Battler is a tough bite, I must say", the blond answered halfheartedly, her attention concentrated on what was happening behind Alessa's back.

The monster named Valtiel had obviously asked help for the cutting from the pyramid head thing. The red pyramid thing stared at the cake up and down at first. It then walked its way to the fence that separated the park from the lake and pulled out the most enormous knife Beatrice had ever seen. It was rusty and covered with blood and dirt. So, the monster dragged the knife to the cake (making a horrible sound as it did), threw the blade back in order to gain power to the strike and struck it down, slicing the cake in two pieces. Valtiel turned the cake around a bit and the pyramid thing repeated the movement, now getting four slices. This whole time, Beatrice stared at them, surprised and disgusted at the same time.

When the monsters finally offered the cake to the ladies, Beatrice refused with a 'no thank you', gaining a strange look from Alessa.

"Don't you like chocolate?"

"I do. It's just that I'm on a diet", the blond explained, watching as the smaller one took a spoonful of the cake and shoved it in her mouth. The same time the dark brunette smiled deviously.

"Good for you. Though I must say that it might come a bit too late for you."

Beatrice rose from her chair immediately, swinging her wand toward in order to attack lady Gillespie, but Ronove stopped her by grabbing her from her armpits.

"Oh, a magic wand! How very unique", Alessa chuckled.

Beatrice was overwhelmed by rage.

"Unique? I'll show you unique! I have been a witch way longer than you, you little-"

Ronove blocked his master's mouth with his hand, silencing her. He bowed to Alessa in apology.

"Please forgive lady Beatrice's behavior. She's quite... sensitive when it comes to her curves."

Beatrice struggled her mouth free.

"I'm not fat!"

"Of course not, milady. You're just a bit round, that's all", Ronove replied, looking back at Alessa. "I think it's better for us to leave now, lady Gillespie. Please pardon us."

Alessa snorted and made a pouting face.

"So soon? Aw... but I was having so much fun!"

"I'm sure lady Beatrice agrees to that", Ronove answered. Beatrice opened her mouth in order to oppose, but Ronove spoke before she got to say anything. "We'll take our leave then. Thank you very much for your time."

Saying that, the two of them disappeared. Alessa looked at the spot where they stood just a moment ago for a moment before she sighed deeply, staring down at her tea. Her tongue still hurt for being burned by the hot drink.

"Oh well. More cake for me."

A silent cling echoed lonely in the abandoned park as she took another spoonful of cake.