How does one put that their life is pretty much fucked…
Well how's this? My life is pretty much fucked.
Simple, eloquent and subtle yes? I almost feel like laughing at the utter irony of my situation. I imprinted, which in any other situation I'd probably have a party and be celebrating the fact I found my soul mate, however, I imprinted on a dude.
Oh, but that's not the problem I have it's not even the fact I imprinted on a vampire, no not that either. It's the particular douchebag that I imprinted on. Edward Cullen.
The bastard that stole Bella from me, threw me into emotional despair, have once or twice broken my nose when we fought and is an all in all prick that likes to flaunt cash. Fuck me.
And it had to be the inappropriate time that my imprint decided to punch me in the face. I was on my way to hang out with Bella, and at the time trying to win her back. I walked to her house, I had just taken a shower, I styled my short hair that I have to say I like more than my long hair, and I actually wore a shoes and a shirt.
Charlie let me in and told me that Bella was in her room. I snuck up the stairs hoping to surprise her. I swung the door open to find…
Edward on top of a topless Bella and they were making out while Bella had a hand down his pants and Edward was fondling her breasts.
Then want to know what happened? I got tunnel vision. Me, Edward flowers, hearts and sparkles. The whole shi-fucking-bang. It was like a fan girl hacked my brain and threw glitter and unicorns in there.
Obviously they stopped Bella screamed, I screamed, Edward gasped, then I ran away from the sight like a bitch.
I haven't seen either of them in a week now. I really don't know what to make of it. I haven't told the pack…that conversation would open doors and go down paths that my psyche just can't handle this moment. How would that conversation even go?
Oh hey guys, guess what? I imprinted on Edward Cullen! And when it happened I was staring at Edward and Bella practically dry humping each other! Yeah, good times!
No, just no.
My phone has been blowing up with Bella calling so I did the most logical thing…I broke it. What? It was near the end of my contract anyway.
I have no idea how Edward hasn't picked up on my mind and this imprint thing. I'm very glad though. I don't have wet dreams about Edward, I have porn videos. Gritty, dirty, sweaty, sexy mouth watering images that flood my mind when I'm awake, when I'm asleep. ALL THE DAMN TIME! Do you know how hard it is to keep a secret when you live around a fuck lot of telepathic wolves? Needless to say I patrol alone a lot lately. Everyone is suspicious. I feel like I'm in a fucking James Bond movie.
There's this small voice in the back of my mind that is telling me that I should tell Edward and the pack, the other side the one that wants my dignity intact aswell as any self esteem with a big loud voice is saying screw that, run away to Canada and live out the rest of your life in the woods and keep your dick happy with your hand and some mental pictures of Edward.
That big voice is super tempting. The blood sucker has crawled into my mind and I can't get him out! The bastard was made to make my life a fucking hell wasn't he?
"God damnit…I'm being punished for my sins aren't I? Why god? Why do you have such fucked up humor? First the platypus now this." I said aloud as I flopped myself onto my living room couch.
"What are you talking about Jake?" Billy said as he rolled in with a concerned look on his face. I felt my face heat up. I could not talk to my dad about this!
"Nothing dad just some teen stuff." I said looking away and fumbling with the remote to turn the tv on.
"Well this may come as a surprise to you Jacob but I also was once a teenager, a pretty badass kid to." Billy said smirking pulling up to the couch. I rubbed a hand over my face.
"I don't think you had to deal with this." I mumbled. He clasped his hands together.
"Is this about Bella?" he asked. Surprise flashed over my face.
"Oh, god no. I'm so past that it's not even funny." I said waving hysterically. He smiled.
"Well then what's it about? You can talk to me Jacob." He said putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. I grimaced…I couldn't tell him this.
"It's…embarrassing to say the least…I really shouldn't even be talking to you about this." I said looking away knowing my already hot temperature was scaling higher. Fuck my lupine powers.
"Well it can't be that bad, unless you're talking about…oh…are you talking about sex? Is it time I told you about the…female anatomy?" he said half scared. I looked at him incrediously.
"NO! I think I'm fine! My knowledge is very broad on that aspect pop." I said laughing, then he gave me a demonic look.
"NOT LIKE THAT DAD! I haven't done that…not till I'm married?" I asked questioningly hoping that was the right answer. He still glared at me.
"Hmm, then I wonder how your knowledge is very 'broad' in that topic." He asked crossing his arms.
"…there's no need to bring that up now, all you need to know is I'm a healthy teenager."
"Jacob!"
"Dad, seriously don't bring that up it's not my issue. My problem is very different. Well, sort of." I grimaced.
"Well, what is it Jacob?" he asked getting impatient, if it's one thing I know, I get my stubbornness from my dad. And he wasn't going to give up unless I told him something relatively believable.
"It's…I'm just not getting enough of sleep because of these…vivid dreams." I said…well it was the half truth. Please dear god don't make his ask what they're about.
"Oh!...um…well we all have to deal with 'those ' dreams when we're young…so uh, I suppose I could buy you some tissues and some lotion, after all you are a boy and a werewolf and urges are very strong-"
"DAD! NO! IT'S FINE! I'm okay this conversation never happened." I shouted as I flung myself off the couch and darted outside.
"Jake it's normal, and remember I'm always here for you!" he yelled at me.
"Hmm, that'll probably scare him away from the sex talk for a good year or two." Billy said rolling to the kitchen with a smug smirk.
I spent a good three hours aimlessly walking around the woods and banging my head on a tree.
When I got home my father left me a box of tissues and a bottle of lotion and a note saying, "At Charlie's, go for it."
My father is too fucking open minded and nonchalant about some stuff. I think my inner child just ran to a corner to cry out of the loss of innocence and my teenager self went to go slit their wrists out of embarrassment.
I put the 'gifts' dad got me in the bathroom.
Maybe a quick stab to the gut would do it?
God I just do not need this now. First Edward now this.
I climbed the stairs to my bed and fell back onto it.
I wonder how Edward is? What's he doing? Does he have a bed or couch in his room. I think I heard he had a couch from Bella. How many positions could I bend him on that couch? Over the side…
Spread eagle…
On my lap going up and down…
Mouth open, and bruised.
Mhmm.
My hand traveled down into my shorts.
How would he feel? I tightened the grip on my cock and slowly stroked my shaft. He'd go slow and rock his hips. Like a tease. Edward would be a tease.
I stroked the tip.
I could hear my groans and gasps.
I started stroking my cock faster. Imagined him on my lap.
"Harder Jake…faster! Fuck me harder!"
I squeezed my cock and supped up the speed. Electric shocks flew into every nerve of my body.
"Fuck!"
My other hand was rubbing the head ferociously.
"ooh, Jacob I'm cumming! Fuck me! Fill me up!" I stroked harder.
Oh gawd was this good. I felt the warm tingles in my balls and then it shot up my spine.
I came hard and there was a lot.
Maybe Billy did have the right idea about those stupid tissues and lotion. I cleaned my self up quickly with an old shirt then the doorbell rang.
I smelled vanilla, weird.
I jogged down the stairs and threw open the door.
It was Edward looking ridiculously good looking and sexy. My brain swirled…oh, Edward smelled like vanilla…wonder what he'd taste like with chocolate syrup on him….
"Hey mutt we need to talk."
Fucking bastard ruins everything doesn't he?
"Hey, you're not supposed to be on these lands you leech!" I said my brain clicking together. If the pack saw him there'd be war.
He was staring at me. I lifted a brow.
"Did you just…you smell like…what were you doing before I came?" Edward asked stepping towards me, making me back up. He closed the door. Fuck.
"I wasn't doing…anything." Fuck! Can he smell it on me?
"Yeah…and it's so delectable…" Edward whispered low with a strange look in his eyes. His pupils were dilated. The black over growing into the gold. Shit! Can he smell my cum?…wait.
Did… he just use a sexy voice. My shorts were starting to grow tight again. I felt myself growl low. If he didn't leave he was going to get the fuck of his life.
"Wait…what's going on?" he said shaking his head looking away. He looked back at me and I could smell the lust on him.
"I think you know Edward…come on rack my brain." I said confidently. He was confused and I stalked towards him. I let my mind race with the imprint and the very naughty thoughts I had of him.
"Wait! You imprinted on me? That's impossible! I'm a vampire!" he said with a glare. I smiled he still smelled horny.
"I do not!"
"Really Eddy, look at the front of your pants." I said sneaking closer. He glanced down and sure enough there was a delectable bulge.
I smiled wide. I felt the predator in me coming out. Edward was a delicious prey.
"Stop thinking like that, this is ridiculous and stop thinking about me like I'm-" Edward hissed before I was in front of him palming his clothed erection. He grasped my shoulders and groaned.
"Really Eddy? You didn't even put up a fight. I bet if I had telepathy, you'd have some dirty thoughts about me too huh? Especially this past week." I whispered in his ear licking it. He shuddered.
I shoved him down onto my couch. I stood over him.
"That's bullshit Black!" he said going to get up but I pinned him down.
"No it's not Cullen, and I'm going to show you how I get my imprint to submit." I growled low. He hissed at me but I felt him grind into my thigh that was in between his legs.
"Show me then…my imprint." He smirked.
We kissed hard and sloppy and I wouldn't want it any other way. I ran my tongue over his teeth and any space I could get it on. Edward was slightly resisting but I think that made it so much more fun. I knew he wanted this.
I stopped kissing him and licked my way down his neck and bit down on the flesh there. He growled and scraped his nails across my scalp. I bit down harder, he needed to learn his place.
"Learn my place? Then come on Black teach me!" he growled sexily. I looked into his eyes and attacked his mouth again before ripping his shirt off and made my way down to a nipple before sucking it. He moaned and arched up pushing his groin against mine.
I groaned and began rubbing viciously against him. He hissed and bit his lip. His hands were under my shirt running up and down my abdomen. I quickly got tired of the shirt and threw it off.
"Oh, you r-rip my shirt but, oh! Yours get to be, uh, oh there, right there! Left in peace?" he growled out.
"You shouldn't be talking." I said kissing him again and enjoying the way his cold hands ran over the muscled span of my back.
I grabbed the front of his jeans and unbuttoned them quickly dipping my hand past his underwear and grabbing the cold member there.
"Fuck Jake!" he said holding onto me and arching up. My cock twitched. Fuck did I want him. I stroked him slowly watching his expressions.
His eyes were half lidded and his lips full and pink from kissing I couldn't hold back any longer. I stopped stroking him and slipped myself out of my shorts. He stared at me.
"You better not be thinking what you're thinking." He said still staring at my cock, I smirked.
"Oh, but I am."
I started stroking him again and my other hand pulled down his jeans and wandered down between his perfect ass cheeks to the prize I was seeking.
I pushed one finger in his puckered hole. He gasped and tightened up. I stroked his dick faster this time trying to relax him.
"Relax." I whispered into his ear. God how would this tightness feel around my cock?
"You try relaxing with a finger in your ass!" he hissed. I rolled my eyes and continued to stroke him then swiped my thumb over the head of his cock. He gasped and loosened instantly. I smiled and added another finger, this time searching for his bundle of nerves that would make him love the idea of fingers in his ass.
"As if, OH!" He groaned out. I smirked. Found em!
I started scissoring him and when I thought he was ready, I spit on my hand and swapped it over my cock. Just touching myself after watching him was almost enough to make me cum. I was so hard it hurt.
I gently pushed myself into him. Both of my hands grasped his hips. I couldn't breathe, he felt so fucking good.
"Amazing baby." I whispered into his ear burying my head between his neck and shoulder. I heard his initial gasp and waited.
"Come the fuck on Jake, fuck me already!" he growled out wrapping his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist.
I smiled before pulling out and thrusting into him hard. He made the most glorious sound. I fucked him faster. Thank you werewolf speed! He kept moaning as I hit his prostate head on.
He felt fucking glorious as his coldness and tightness surrounded me.
"Fuck!" I hissed out as he started to roll his hips back into my thrusts. I thrust harder and he groaned scratching my back.
We we're to lost in it all to notice that someone opened my house door.
"What the FUCK do you think you two assholes are doing!" a girl's voice screamed.
Edward and I both stopped and looked at the girl standing and staring at us in my living room.
Bella.
"SHIT!" Edward and I both shouted. I pulled out of him quickly and pulled my shorts over my…well my stuff. He threw his jeans on and I tossed him my shirt because, well his was shreds on the floor.
"What the fuck! Why the hell were you fucking my boyfriend Jacob! You ass you were supposed to be my friend! And you! You motherfucking cheater!" she screamed at Edward. He was relatively calm, I however picked up the table lamp in case she went crazy bitch on us.
"Bella, I'm your ex boyfriend…remember I broke up with you right after Jacob saw us." He said trying to calm her down.
"You guys aren't together?" I asked putting the table lamp down. They ignored me.
"You said we should explore our options!" She shouted.
"And I was exploring my option before you walked in." Edward glared at her crossing his arms.
"So ya'll were broke up right?" I asked again.
"Yes."
"No!"
"Yes we are! And what the hell were you doing here at Jake's house anyway?" Edward growled.
"I was going to talk to him about when he saw us, like a good friend, but I found him fucking you instead!" She hissed.
"Calm the fuck down! First if Edward and you are broken up, don't get pissy. Second, I really don't want to talk about what I saw that day. Three, shut the fuck up or the pack is going to hear and see Edward on the land and start world war three!" I half shouted at her.
She paused for a moment then screamed at the top of her lungs.
I was momentarily phased before I grabbed one of the couch cushions and threw it at her face, shutting her up and knocking her on the ground.
"Holy shit Jake."
"The bitch was screaming! And if the pack sees you-" I started.
"The pack will what?" Sam said walking in with everybody…even my dad?
"Oh, look Edward is here." Leah said sitting on the couch where the cushion wasn't missing.
"Look everybody…I have a confession to make, I imprinted on Edward." I said holding Edward's hand.
"Yeah, we know." Paul said .
What the hell?
"You know?"
"You talk in your sleep Jake." My dad said laughing.
"So you assholes mean to tell me you all knew but didn't want to tell me you knew why?" I asked pissed.
What the hell! This pricks made my week hell with my anxiety because I didn't know how they would react and they fuck me over with this!
"Well, we decided when you were ready you would tell us." Sam said shrugging. My jaw went slack.
"So…you are all okay with me and Jacob then?" Edward asked hugging my arm.
"Yeah, this is just the pact we were looking for to have a more peaceful relationship with the vamps. We're tired of fighting." Billy said.
"What about me!" Bella screamed getting up.
"Don't you think it's disgusting!" Bella said pointing at Edward and me.
"Shut the fuck up Bella. I'm damn tired of your ass for so long." Leah said inspecting her nails.
"Oh, well if your so faggot friendly, I hope you know that the couch your sitting on, they were just having sex on it."
"Hot." Leah smirked.
"Oh, my god Jacob!" Billy shouted.
"I thought we discussed I was a healthy teenage kid!"
"Wait, so now that you all know, I have to tell my family." Edward said.
"Naw it's chill, I just txted Emmett, he said your family knew Alice had a hunch when you kept writing piano melodies with the name 'Wolf' every time."
Paul said waving his phone.
"So much for privacy…" he grumbled.
"Aw, so you did think of me." I grinned kissing Edward on the forehead.
"Yeah, but I didn't know you imprinted on me."
"Oh Edward, Emmett said he always knew you sucked more than just blood. Man this guy's hilarious." Paul said laughing.
"How the hell did you even get his number?" I asked.
"Facebook." Paul said simply.
"This is fucking retarded! You all are fucking stupid." Bella hissed at us all. I glared at her.
"That's it bitch you're coming with me." Leah said stalking toward Bella, grabbing her hair and then dragging her screaming outside.
"So, we're all good then?" I asked hurriedly.
"Uh, yeah pretty much." Sam said.
"Good." I grabbed Edward then dragged him up the stairs to my room.
"Where you going?" Seth asked.
"Me and Edward are going to finish what we started on the couch." I shouted downstairs.
"I suggest if you don't want to hear us make love you all better leave!"
"I never thought the day my kid would kick me out my own house to have sex." Billy said wheeling himself out.
"Come on, let the imprints have their time together." Sam said ushering everyone out.
When I got to my room I flung Edward on the Bed and pounced on him.
"Love you Edward." I said kissing him gently this time. His hands roamed over my chest and belly.
"Love you too Jacob. Now…please get back inside me."
"Yes, sir."
Tada a short little oneshot….i'm sort of mentaliy jacked right now since it's almost 2 in the morning and I haven't had any sleep but hey, whatevz… please review!