(A/N: The ONLY reason i am posting this is to get a gauge on if it's liked or not. That will determine whether or not I finish it or take it off FF. However! Be warned that this fic contains sex and mentions of sex. It's about a flipping manwhore. That is all.)

I was walking down the streets of New York in awe, looking left and right at the bright signs that were getting brighter now that night was falling. Right next to the Slushyburger/Slushydog combination building and an expensive-looking, elaborate mini-golf course were two young men wearing brown trenchcoats and brown fedoras tilted at an angle. They looked a lot like the gumshoes from the film-noire movies I watched back home. I was intrigued by their outfits and attitude that I found myself walking towards them, almost in a daze.

"What do you want?" The taller of the two, a young man of about twenty-five (and not to toot my own horn but I DID work at a carnival as an age/weight guessed so my guesses are usually spot-on) with dyed-teal hair and dark skin.

"Yeah," chorused the smaller of the two, a seventeen-year-old Asian with bleached-white hair and a large amount of eyeliner around his eyes, "What d'you want?"

"Um...well...hrm..." I couldn't believe I was having trouble coming up with an excuse, excuses were my forte. "You remind me of PIs from those film noire movies." That's the best you could come up with? What's wrong with you Heinz?

The teal-haired man snorted, "Sure we do. And that is why you came over here to talk to us. Look, if you want our services, then just pay up and we will come over and work immediately."

Work? What kind of work would two men be doing at night time? Maybe some moving work? "Well I don't exactly know your names and it would be improper of me to hire you if I didn't know your name."

The man shared a look with the boy then he finally spoke up and said, "My name is Perry. Perry the Platypus. My friend here is Peter the Panda, from Seattle."

Peter nodded and grinned crookedly at me, "Yup. Peter the Panda, that's me. Born in China, ya dig?"

"Am I to assume that Perry the Platypus is from Australia?" I shot a crooked smirk at Perry the Platypus who snorted and looked down. "You don't have an accent, neither of you do."

"Well that is because we grew up in our respective assigned places, me in New York and Peter in Seattle. Therefore the only accent we carry is from our assigned stations, much unlike you and your heavy Germanic accent. Where are you from?" Perry the Platypus tilted his head at me and I frowned.

"Why should it matter? I am who I am and not my country or place of origin. Nor am I my parents." I crossed my arms and glared down, suddenly finding interest in a long and crooked crack on the ground.

I heard a soft thump and a gasp as Peter the Panda hissed something in Perry the Platypus's ear. Perry the Platypus put on a stoic face followed by what appeared to be a genial smile. He failed in that respect.

"I am sorry to have offended you. Now you do understand that our services are not cheap, correct?" Perry the Platypus gave me a half-lidded glance and smiled. Then he leaned in and whispered the amount in my ear.

"Holy strudel that's a lot of zeroes!" Suddenly I was very glad that money from my hometown was worth a lot of American dollars. And that my vater had worked me to the bone when I was little so I had no problem doing all sorts of demeaning work so long as it payed me at all.

"We are worth it. Plus that gets you one of us for a whole night, sundown to sunup." Perry the Platypus grinned and suddenly I understood that I needed to have him for the night, even if it was just to talk to. He reminded me so much of myself that I just HAD to interact with him.

"I'll take you," I pointed to Perry the Platypus and he smirked down at Peter the Panda.

"Score one for me, buddy," Perry the Platypus quipped.

"Oi! S'not fair!" Peter the Panda wailed, "Why do they always choose you?"

"They like Sebastian over Shota." I had no idea what they were talking about but I was intregued. After I forked over the cash, I lead Perry the Platypus to my penthouse apartment that was close enough to the harbour to make for a nice view but far enough away to keep away seagulls.

"Here it is!" I gestured to the large-ish (and rather cluttered) apartment with a sense of pride, this was MY HOME and I love it, cluttered or not. "As you can see, Perry the Platypus, this place is rather messy. I was hoping that you would-" I was interrupted by Perry the Platypus tackling ms and throwing be to my couch with a grunt. He began to pull my clothes off, pants first, and grinned as I struggled.

"First time, eh? Well I will make sure to go easy on you."

I slapped his face and squirmed backwards, pulling up my falling pants, a blush growing on my face. "What were you DOING?"

"What you bought me to do," Perry the Platypus shrugged nonchalantly, his bare shoulders flexing with lean muscles—seeing as he had already taken his shirt off and his pants were unbuttoned, his trenchoat sling halfway across the room—"Sex."

I was aghast, "Kgdlisifxig-SEX? Did I hear you correctly? You're a-you're a—oh dansen...what's the word?—a PROSTITUTE?"

Perry the Platypus shot another look in my direction and sighed, slapping his face with his palm in frustration, "What did you THINK Peter and I were doing all alone, standing near a seedy New York alley? Offering to work part-time?"

A flush shot across my cheeks; that was EXACTLY what I thought they were doing. At least, that's how I got jobs back in my hometown.

Perry the Platypus laughed, a short bark followed by a snort of derision, "You did? Oh wow you are far from home are you not!" My face turned an even more spectacular shade of red and I'm pretty sure I was pouting. Perry the Platypus frowned, "Aww...I did not mean to make you mad, I am simply amused at your refreshing look on the world. It is so naïve."

"So what if I'm naïve? I am me and that's all that matters! No one here can tell me how to live my life and I like it that way! Besides...," I added indignantly, "my English isn't all that good anyways..."

Perry the Platypus smiled at me and buttoned his pants; he gently cupped my head in his hand and brought my eyes to meet his. "Look," he said calmly, "I did not mean to offend you. If I did I am sorry but - you bought a prostitute and are not going to use me for my intended purpose. I was already paid but I would feel bad stiffing someone as nice as you. The least I could do, since you do not want me for sex, is to fulfil your wishes. And I can cook!"

I perked up slightly because all I could cook were some family recipes and food from my hometown; if he could cook English dishes, that would make my day-er-night. "English dishes?"

Perry the Platypus laughed gently and smiled back at me, standing up and looking back down at me, "Not so much English as American. But, that is okay, yes?"

I nodded and stood up, offering him my hand, "Yes, that's fine. My name is Heinz, by the way. Heinz Doofenshmirtz."

"Perry, as you already know. Perry the Platypus." Perry the Platypus grinned and shook my hand. "Now what is it you needed doing again?"

"Ah yes, I needed help moving in."

TBC