LOST AND FOUND

A/N: A special thanks to my wonderfully smart and talented Beta JSH, your rock girlfriend…love ya…huggs

I roam through the house, it's so quiet. I've cleaned so much to where the house is as sanitized as a hospital room and still I look for something else to do. I look to the pictures on the wall, I've cleaned them once but I pick them up once again and wiped the glass with a soft rag. I pay close attention to the one of the man in the police uniform, and can't help myself from sighing.

"I miss you daddy." I whisper as I think back to the day he was killed on duty, shot by a robber, as he held up a gas station. I sigh once again and replace the picture to its original place.

I once again I let my eyes roam the room, searching for what else needed to be cleaned, there is nothing unless I want to start over again. I walked over to the kitchen, and replaced the cleaning supplies under the sink.

My chest rises and falls with every breath, my heart feels like it's in some kind of vice, with every beat the vice tightens, as I walk the length of the house. I know I've walked it so much, there should be a worn path from every lap I've taken. I make my way back to the large window that overlooks the ocean and the rocking chair that's positioned in its usual place. I sit down and lean back as it creaks with my weight. Stare out the window, wishing I could find him. I know he's out there. I just don't understand how it works. I feel him. I don't know what he looks like or who he is, but I feel him. My heart pulls to him, some days are worse than others, is that because he's closer someday than others? Or is it that I'm just lonelier more days others?

I know what lonely feels like, and this is something else. It feels like if I breath to hard my heart will crack and fall into a million pieces.

It's bad today, the pull is unbearable, I feel like if I let go my heart will pull completely out of my chest. The tears begin to fall, they streak down my cheeks and sprinkle on my arms that are wrapped securely around my chest, holding every part of myself in place, afraid to move them for fear of falling apart like a moving jigsaw puzzle.

I don't eat any more, a piece of toast every now and then. A salad but only a few small strains, it doesn't seem to be worth the effort. I feel so lost. I watch as the wave's crash against the shore in a fury that only the ocean can provoke. The sun moves and is just above the ocean telling me it will be dark soon, letting me know that it's almost time to lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling, count the tiles once again until sleep takes me, only to rise the next morning and begin this morbid lifeless day all over again.

I rise from my chair and grab a sweater, slipping it on and make my way down to the beach. The crashing of the waves against the shore is louder. I smell the salty air, its fresh smell engulfs my senses. I inhale hoping it will cleanse my body, that maybe it will sear the pieces of my body back together, like a welder would do to two pieces of metal.

I hear the seagulls diving into the water for their last meal of the day. I walk slowly down the beach my arms still wrapped around my chest holding myself together, the sand finally cooling from the heat of the day. I drag my feet until the sun finally disappears into the depth of the ocean as the darkness takes it place, the tears make another appearance, another day has passed and that intense pull is still there.

"Where are you?" I whisper under my breath, knowing there will be no answer. I close my eyes, forcing the remaining tears from my eyes; I open them and take a deep breath until my lungs feel like they will burst, then let it out slowly.

I turn and head back to the house slowly, I climb the long steps to the deck and turn and look around paying special attention to the forest on the left of the house. I stand there almost as if I'm telling the world good-night. I enter the house, still as quiet as I left these empty walls.
I shower and climb into bed, I lay there and stare at the ceiling, not counting the tiles this time, a tear slowly makes its way from my eye and falls into my hair, which is the start of a river of tears that stay until sleep takes me.

I awake the next morning, I can hardly open my eyes; I make my way to the bathroom and stare at my reflection in the mirror only to see my eyes rimmed in red and swollen from last night cry fest. I wash my face which helps some, I brush my teeth, dress and pull my hair back into a pony tail. I make my bed, pick up the clothes from the day before and pitch them into the washer. I make my way to the kitchen where I place two pieces of bread in the toaster and flick the switch on the coffee pot that I preset the night before.

I stare out the windows that cover the back of the house, and wait for the familiar sound of the toast to pop and the coffee to brew. The sun is rising but with many clouds it gives a graying effect to the day and matches my mood. I wonder if it's going to rain. I chuckle to myself, knowing it always rains here and that yesterday was one of those rare occasions that the sun made an appearance. My toast pops out, bringing me back to reality. I reach down, pulling the toast from the toaster and place it on a small plate, pour myself a cup of coffee, I carry the two to the deck. I place it on a small table as I sit down I reach for my cup and take a sip. I nibble at the toast making myself eat what I can of it before shoving it away and wondering why I bothered fixing it to begin with. I listen to the waves crashing against the shore, smelling the fresh morning air, and continue sipping on my coffee. I place it down, along with my head, cradling it in my hands, resting my elbows on the table. Sadness near consumes me as It will a thousand times today.

"Where are you?" I ask myself again. Knowing this is the first of many times I will ask this today. Still felling the pull of my soul mate, not knowing how, but something inside me knows that I do. I don't know who he is, or where he is, but still feeling him out there somewhere.
My heart begins to pound harder than it has ever done before; I feel my blood racing through my veins, my body begins to heat up almost as though I have a fever but I'm not sick. My hands start to sweat and I wipe them on my pants, they are shaking, fearing that I am having a heart attack or the worse panic attack that I have experienced to this day. I wonder if I die here, right now how long it would take someone to find me. I stumble to my feet and hear a wolf howl far off in the distance. I look to my left, into the forest, again hearing another howl, but the sound is closer this time, and I wonder if there are two, talking to one another. I walk to the railing and stare out into the forest that is not a hundred feet from my deck. I catch a glimpse of something, it's a pale looking person with hair the color of fire flowing in the wind, her eyes are glowing red a smile forms on her lips and she is gone before I can gasp at the sight of her.

I grab my throat with my hand in fear, and wonder what I had just seen. Taking a step back, I hear another howl even closer. In almost shock I see the wolves running, there are at least seven of them being led by a huge black one. That is when I realize they are chasing her, and I wonder why.

One of the wolves skid to a stop at the edge of the forest, he is looking right at me. I take a step back onto the railing as my eyes meet with his, my heart begins to pound again fast and hard, so hard I fear it will explode. I take a deep breath to help sustain myself from passing out, the pull that I have felt before, starts to become stronger, leading me to the wolf. I can't move another inch, the pull is unbearable my breathing erratic. I slowly reach out my hand for the wolf, knowing he's too far away to touch, but I can't help myself the pull forces my hand up to him. He is large, I shake my head. No! He is huge, the size of a horse. How is that possible? He raises his head and sniffs the air; he banks his head to the left like they are calling to him, he then looks back to me before he runs in the same direction as his pack I hear another howl it sounded different than before, sadness mixed with his cry.

I stood there trying to figure out what had just happened, why my body reacted the way it did to a wolf. How was it that this wolf was so big? He was nothing like the wolves I've seen before, not that I've seen a lot of wolves, but you can't live where I do and not see a few, but they look nothing like the one I just witnessed.

I stood there looking out to the forest for awhile and seeing nothing else. I forced myself to turn, picking up the cup and plate that sat on the little table, carrying them in the house disposing of the toast I barely touched into the garbage can, rinsing the hard porcelain placing them in the dishwasher. I looked around the room for something to clean; it was still clean from yesterday's sterilization fest.

Making my way to the sliding door, I placed my hand on the handle thinking of the woman with the pale skin and the red eyes and wondered if it was safe to take my morning walk. Would she carry herself to the beach and find me, or worse do me harm as I strolled along the sandy shore? I shook my head to clear my negative thoughts, sliding the door open and walked out onto the deck, pulling it closed behind me. I looked over at the forest once again seeing nothing as I walked down the steps that led to the beach. Soon I was down at the beach, and upon a cluster of boulders, climbing up to the top, sitting down, looked out to sea.

I lost track of time, I don't know how long I sat there when I heard him.

"Hello," his deep baritone voice filled my ears. I turn to see who spoke; I froze, taking in the very tall man, with his white teeth glowing into a captivating smile. His hair is cropped short and shiny black, wearing a pair of cut off jeans and nothing else. His bronze skin glistens in sweat, his muscles bulge on his chest and arms with every slight movement. I can't break away from his eyes which are chocolate brown with specks of green that sparkle in the suns reflection.

Once again my heart begins to beat hard against my chest. My breathing becomes erratic, trying to take a deep breath.

"Hi" I shyly say. The pull is stronger now, so much so that I want to jump into this man's arms and run my hand through his soft black hair. I want to give in and rub all over his bulging muscles and kiss those beautiful lips, never wanting to come up for air.

"I'm Jake." he voiced soft and soothing.

"Bella." I answer back nervously, watching him stand there still staring into my eyes, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jean shorts.

"You live here?" he asks.

"Yeah. I do."

"Alone?" he asks, I look at him puzzled, wondering why he would ask me if I live alone, but for some reason I trust him. I feel like I've known him forever, even though I don't understand why I feel this way but I do.

"Yes," I finally answer as he helps me down from the rock formation.

His hands are warm much to warm, and it gives me reason to worry. I wonder how I can worry about a man I had just met, but I do, and I look up at him.

"Are you well?" I questioned.

"I'm fine, why do you ask?" he replies.

"You seem warm like your running a high fever," I answer him back, only to be greeted with a smile. He look's to the ground briefly and then back to me.

"I'm fine," he says and I'm glad for some reason that he is well.

He walks me to the steps of my house and I watch his eyes wonder around.

"This is Charlie's house." he says knowingly. I look at him surprised.

"You knew Charlie?" I asked, nodding his head in a silent reply.

"He was my father's best friend," he said, staring up at the house.

"How do you know him?" he asks as he moves towards me.

"He's my father," I tell him sadly, lowering my head, feeling the start of tears slips down my cheek. I feel a warm hand on my chin, and he raises my face to look into my eyes. He wipes the tears from my cheek with the pads of his thumbs.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers. I smiled weakly at him, and he pulls me to his chest, wraps his arms around me. He lays his cheek on top of my head, and I hear him take a deep breath, that's when I realize that the pull is slack, the pain I felt all my life is gone. I finally find comforted by this man's presence, and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Jake?" I whisper.

"Yeah." he says without letting go.

"I've been waiting for you my whole life." I tell him, feeling him smile above me.

"I know." he answers pulling me away to look down to me, his face moves closer and presses his lips to mine.

I can feel the bond as we continue this much needed kiss, the sparks of electricity that shivers through our bodies, it was like welding our souls together, a thousand threads of steel wrapping us together forever, never to be severed again.

Let me know what you think...bigg huggs Peggy