And here's another chapter! Just so everyone knows, I'm not sure how my sister or I came up with this idea, although apparently we are crazy enough to think of it.

Just some notes: Since we know very little about Merlin's past…I guess you can say that we applied major artistic license for this idea, considering it could never in hell happen. Ever. Oh, and the beginning in italics is the present time, while the normal font is past time in a flashback.

Oh, and I don't own Merlin…I mean, look at the ideas I come up with! Do you see it happening? Do you?

Cenred, Merlin, and Morgause In: The Destructive Trio!

Merlin grunted as he, Arthur, Morgana, and Gwen were shoved onto their knees, quite roughly, in front of Cenred. He could distinctly sense Morgause standing behind Cenred, and he fought the urge to run over and viciously head butt her. It wouldn't do to show Arthur that he can deal with Morgause in front of him. He would completely freak out and then assign him more mundane chores to do.

Cenred circled around the captive group, and Merlin tried not to laugh out loud at his leather jacket and tight pants, but it was extremely difficult. Then Merlin's thoughts went elsewhere, to a time when he was stuck with Cenred (and by association, Morgause, but he tries to forget that) when he was much younger. He wondered if Cenred even remembered him. Of course, he wasn't known as Merlin then, no, the name Cenred called him was much more degrading and humiliating, that if he ever heard it again, Cenred would recall exactly why the Kingdom's treasury was practically empty all those years ago and then Merlin would-

"Pogo?" Merlin shuddered and slowly looked up at Cenred, who was standing in front of him, with a joyous expression on his face.

The next thing anyone knew, Merlin had jumped on Cenred and was now trying to injure Cenred as much as possible without the use of his hands, (or his magic). Cenred was attempting to hug Merlin, who kept squirming away, while trying to gnaw his face off at the same time. Needless to say, there was much confusion and yelling going around the hall.

"I've missed you, Pogo!"

"Don't call me that, you creep!" Merlin bit him while kicking his shins. Cenred just kept trying to squeeze Merlin without becoming majorly injured.

"Oh, don't you remember the fun you, me, and Morgause used to have!" Cenred cried happily, (and from being bitten on his arm.)

"Don't remind me of that stupid witch!" Merlin wailed. That was when Morgause stepped out from her hiding place, fireball ready in her hand. Merlin managed to push Cenred away, (almost like magic!) and then somehow got the ropes around his wrists loosened (again, like magic), before dodging the fireball and jumping on Morgause, trying to scratch her eyes out. Arthur, Gwen, and Morgana were left speechless, confused, and little worried about the sanity of the three people, two who were trying to kill one another, and one who was smiling like he had received an unlimited amount of money.

"I hate you, Morgause! Why would you tie me up in chains?" Punches were being thrown.

"Revenge for my cat, Pogo!" Morgause emphasized the Pogo, kind of like how Arthur drew out Merlin's name.

"Your cat was pure evil! It was trying to claw my face off! I claim self defense in throwing it out the window!"

"At the very top of the tower, you idiot! Besides it was attacking you for destroying my room!"

"Which I only did because you destroyed my room!"

After a few minutes of listening to Merlin and Morgause fight like cats and dogs, Arthur finally pushed aside his manly pride to ask Cenred, of all people, for help.

"But of course I'll tell you the story of how we met, Wart!" Cenred exclaimed.

"…Wart?" Arthur wondered what he had gotten himself into.

"Your new name!"

"I refuse to be called Wart, Cenred!"

"Do you want to hear the story or not?" Morgana intercepted Arthur's response with a frantic yes.

Arthur was mortified.

"Anyways it began twelve years ago, but I vaguely remember it like it was yesterday." Cenred began.

"Wait, vaguely remember?" Gwen asked. Cenred scowled.

"Don't interrupt, Poodle! Concussions do cause memory loss, you know!" Gwen flushed and Morgana failed to muffle in her giggles. Cenred looked annoyed.

"Should I just leave you all in the dark, Gwcsadkhtbe?"

"How do you even pronounce that?" Morgana cried, upset about Cenred's name for her.

"Exactly how it sounds." Cenred said. "By the way, it stands for Girl Who Can't Smirk And Doesn't Know How To Be Evil." Morgana fumed. Arthur and Gwen were confused, yet again.

"Now, all of you shut up, so I can tell my story! It all started twelve years ago…"

Cenred was absolutely bored. His father had sent him on a tour of the kingdom, to further his familiarity with his future territory.

Cenred knew his father just wanted to get him out of the castle and away from him for an extended period of time. He couldn't exactly order Morgause to leave, since she never listened and just killed everyone sent to lock her up, but the king could send his son away.

Cenred had been traveling in a carriage for nearly three months now. According to the driver who just stuck his head inside to yell at him, the royal procession of the prince, two guards, and a driver, were just coming up to a small village called Ealdor, which was close to the Camelot border. Cenred wondered if he could make a break for it and run across the boarder before his guards knew he had escaped. But then, he decided that it would be too much work.

Thirty minutes later, Cenred was greeting the villagers with fake enthusiasm, who had all lined up to greet him in the center of the village.

After all of the stupid words with all of the idiotic villagers, Cenred turned to go back into his carriage where they would travel to another, slightly bigger village, that actually had an inn.

And then Cenred saw him; a small eight-year-old with giant ears and who was laughing manically as his eyes turned gold and the wheels of the carriage rusted terribly.

"Oh my gosh, you are so cute!" Cenred screamed before running up to the now baffled kid and started squeezing him.

"I'm going to take you home and you will be my new pet! And you're name will be Pogo!"

The kid's eyes glowed gold and Cenred found himself sprawled on the ground while the child was running as if his life depended on it. Unfortunately for him, Cenred had longer legs and was able to catch up pretty quickly to the delinquent child. Cenred tackled his new pet to the ground, quickly tying him with rope and slapping a blindfold made from the newly named Pogo's neckerchief.

"The next part is a little blurry, because that's when Hunnith came out with a frying pan, demanding to know what I was doing with her house slave." Cenred explained to the three listeners.

"Don't you mean child, Cenred?" Gwen asked. No one remarked on the fact that Gwen speaking so bluntly to a King had crossed class boundaries. No one really cared, actually.

"No, she specifically said house slave. I remember that much at least."

"But we met her a while back and she was the nicest person ever." Morgana protested.

"Yeah, well, not back then, she wasn't. Anyways, she hit me repeatedly over the head with her frying pan, stole two hundred crowns from my wallet, and then demanded I pay her one hundred crowns every month that Merlin stayed as my pet."

"And you agreed?" Arthur deadpanned. Cenred shrugged.

"Well, it was either give in to her nicely and keep Pogo, or she comes to steal the money every month from the palace."

"And you couldn't just lock her up."

"You know what, Arthur? You can't solve all of your problems by locking people up! Some people just have the innate ability to scare the guards so much that they let the prisoner go out of fear."

The three individuals from Camelot all shook their heads in exasperation. Hunnith could never be that bad.

"Anyways, once Pogo arrived at the castle, he and Morgause hit it off right away."

Merlin was only eight, but he was ready to commit murder. And not just any murder; no, it was a royal murder and an annoying, brown haired, cootie-filled, stupidity walking, moron murder. And who could blame him? Sure, he had been rescued from his demon of a mother, an insane amount of chores that could only be completed by use of magic, and random killing attempts by said mother, but the point still stood that he was essentially sold! To the most idiotic person in existence!

Merlin glared at Cenred, who was currently sitting next to him in the carriage petting his hair. Petting his hair, come on! He wasn't a baby, and Merlin was not happy that cooties were being spread all over the top of his head. Gross!

"Look, Pogo! The castle is in sight! We'll be home within a few hours!" Cenred cried happily, now squeezing Merlin to death. A glow of the eyes and Cenred found himself on the floor of his carriage, while Merlin stretched out on the seat.

"Your home, not mine." Merlin remarked lazily, as he got comfortable for the last leg of the journey. "And my name is Merlin, got it?"

"Oh, hush Pogo. You're going to love your new home. I'll feed you, and take you out for walks, and clean you, and play with you! You're so adorable!"

"I'm not a freaking pet, moron!" Merlin grabbed Cenred's suitcase (he had to bring his entire closet, you know. It was completely necessary) and started whacking the prince on the head repeatedly.

"Owowowowow! OW! Stop Pogo!"

And that's how the rest of the journey was made, with Cenred getting another concussion, and Merlin coming out of the carriage looking immensely pleased with himself.

"I'm going to go get ice for the concussion, now." Cenred moaned, swaying on his feet.

"You do that." Merlin muttered. "And while you're there, might as well fall into a well."

"That's no fun, Pogo! It takes forever to climb back out." Cenred skipped towards the door, smashed into the wall next to the door, and splayed out dramatically on the ground. Merlin made sure to step on his chest as he walked past to get into the castle.

"Oh, you're back, are you?" A high, girlish voice greeted Merlin as he stepped for the first time in his new 'home'. The eight year old looked around, slightly interested at meeting a new person, who was hopefully not stupid.

Out from the corner, stepped out a young teenager, her blonde hair hanging fashionably over an elegant, bright red dress.

"Oh, you're not Cenred. Who the hell are you?"

Merlin sighed dramatically, not as dramatic as Cenred, of course, and turned away. "Great, more cooties."

"Excuse me?" The girl's eyes glowed and fire produced from her clenched hands. Merlin ignored her and started walking down a random corridor. "I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life with people who are idiotic and have cooties. My life sucks."

"Then DIE!" A sudden heat at Merlin's back alerted him to duck, and duck he did. He looked up from his position on the ground to see a fireball smash into the wall, bricks falling down from the force of the blast.

"All those years of learning how to dodge frying pans came in handy." He muttered, eyes wide with glee. Someone else knew magic! Someone was just like him! Someone who…had just tried to roast him alive with her magic.

"You cootie infested worm!" Merlin shouted. He felt the magic rise up in his chest and relished in the power he felt. With barely any effort, Merlin used his magic to throw the bricks at the raging teenager in front of him, who was throwing fireballs back.

Merlin didn't know how long he kept dodging, throwing, and shouting insults at the girl in front of him for, but it felt like ages had passed before the guards finally came to tear the two magic wielding maniacs (in their eyes) away from each other.

Merlin was carried (he hadn't realized how tired he was) to where Cenred was waiting for him. The guards dropped him in front of Cenred and left muttering something about the destructiveness and insanity of the new generation. Merlin didn't move from his new spot on the floor, finding it extremely comfortable.

"I see you met Morgause and caused a wall to fall down." Cenred said on his spot from his chair, holding an ice pack to his head. Merlin smirked at the thought of Cenred's still throbbing him after all of this time.

"You two are probably going to be the best of friends! You guys can hang out all the time now!" Cenred clapped his hands eagerly, dropping the ice pack on to the ground. "I wonder, will you get a crush on her, Pogo? Oh! I can be the matchmaking friend!"

Merlin's smirk vanished off his face, in disgust as Cenred continued to babble on about nothing. He eyed the bag of ice, pondering on whether it was worth it to waste any more energy on the buffoon before him.

"And then you two can get married, and I'll be the best man!" Yes, yes it totally was worth it.

"And then- OW! Owowowowowow! Quit chucking ice at me! It's cold and it hurts! Ow! Alright, I'll stop!"

A very satisfied Merlin was led to his room, twenty minutes later.

"This has been a pretty constructive day." Merlin giggled to himself. "I caused mayhem and pain to the idiotic prince and got a chance to use magic for pure destruction purposes!"

"So you're the new brat whose staying here, is that right?" Merlin looked up to see a fuming Morgause standing in front of him.

"Completely against my will, but yes."

"Well, seeing as I hate you, be prepared to be annihilated at any moment." Morgause announced grandly before entering the room right next to Merlin's.

"Wait, is that your room?"

"Of course it is."

Cenred glanced up to the ceiling of his room as an explosion rocked the castle. He smiled innocently.

"Aw, Pogo and Morgause are getting along so nicely."

"Sir." A guard entered Cenred's room. "Should we go stop them before they destroy something else in the castle?"

"Nah." The prince waved his hand dismissingly and went back to the book in front of him. "Let them have their fun."

He wasn't in charge of the kingdom's budget, so why would he care for how much it cost to fix the castle on what would become a daily occurrence?

"And after that first meeting, there was never a dull day! I would always wake up to explosions and screaming. The two of them were always trying to kill each other, sometimes me, and would always destroy a part of the castle." Cenred finished his story with a wistful expression on his face. Morgana, Gwen, and Arthur were all sitting comfortably on the floor, the ropes somehow gone, and gob-smacked expressions on their faces.

"Wait, so why didn't Merlin tell us any of this?" Arthur asked weakly. How much was his servant (best friend) hiding from him? Cenred shrugged.

"You should ask him that." Arthur stood up, ready to do exactly that.

"Wait, where is he?"

"And where is my, I mean, Morgause?" Morgana also stood up, her hands expertly smoothing out any wrinkles that might have appeared in her fashionable riding outfit.

"Shouldn't you guys be asking where most of the castle is?" Gwen questioned dryly.

"Not again." Cenred muttered. "Now that I'm king, I actually have to somewhat pay attention to these things."

"Sir." A guard entered the room that had no walls or doors. "Code AD in the gardens."

Cenred pouted. "Not the gardens; we just finished refurbishing it!"

"Well sir, it's really Code AD in what's left of the gardens."

"How much is left?"

"Pretty much nothing."

Cenred, Morgana, and Arthur followed the guard to the gardens, or what used to be the garden. Gwen split from the group to go rescue her brother from his cell.

"They really went overboard this time, didn't they?" Cenred muttered. "This is a definite Absolute Destruction case." The scene in front of them was of a barren wasteland, marred by craters, with smoke still rising from a few spots on the ground. The people responsible were rolling on the ground, clawing, biting, kicking, scratching, using whatever method to reach the person in front of them and cause them pain while doing so.

"What in the blazing hell happened here?" A new voice called from behind the group. Arthur turned to see Gwen with a man he presumed was her brother, then turned back to the fight. Morgana didn't even turn around; she was too busy cheering for Morgause. Arthur did think that it was strange, but figured that Morgana was mad at Merlin, yet again.

"Well, there's nothing to do until they're done." Cenred said, sitting on the burnt ground.

"If I may ask a question, Cenred." Gwen started.

"Of course, Poodle. Go ahead and ask." Cenred exclaimed theatrically.

"Did you send Merlin back home because of the amount of destruction caused in those years that he stayed with you?"

"Nope! Why would I want to get rid of such good entertainment?"

"Then why did he end up back in Ealdor?"

"Oh, Hunnith came and demanded her work slave back. Apparently she got tired of trying to force the villagers to do her chores for her."

"Is everyone in this kingdom completely insane?" Arthur wondered.

Cenred nodded. "That's why it's been so successful since I took the throne!"

"It looks like they're done fighting." Morgana announced.

"Really?" Cenred perked his head up to get a better view.

"Ah, wait no. They're fighting again. Never mind."

It wasn't until four more hours had passed that Morgause and Merlin finally reached zero on their energy bar, and both passed out on the ground. Cenred left Morgause outside until she woke up and Arthur grabbed Merlin and left with Morgana, Gwen, and Elyan back to Camelot. Morgana and Cenred forgot why they even bothered capturing Elyan.

All in all, it was a wasted day.

Didn't I say that it could never happen? Ever? But wouldn't be hilarious to watch? This new season of Merlin is epic! I love it!

Sorry for the long wait, but life is continuing to kill me at a faster rate than just dying by old age. And my sister and I don't see each other anymore, considering we're both in universities on opposite sides of the country. Have I mentioned that I hate life right now? I pretty much just said screw this, threw my homework away (on the bed, not the trash), went on my laptop, found this half finished, and decided to waste time!

So, yeah, I hope you enjoyed!