Hello, hello! How are you- *shot*.

I know, I know. I should be writing 'Sneering Eyes' right now, but I'm on a major writer's block, and what I manage to write seems stupid. Not enough…good stuff.

So, here is a hopefully humorous one-shot. As usual, LukaxMiku, but this time some perverts as well, and some good blackmail.

In any case, hope you enjoy!

Kaito burst into the house, scaring everybody out of their skin.

"Guys! Guess what I've found!" he yelled through the house. Luka and Miku, who were cleaning things in the kitchen, the twins, who were fighting, and Meiko who was on the couch groaned.

"What now, Kaito?" asked the brunette, rubbing her head.

"Call everybody, first!" he demanded, sitting in front of the computer. She groaned, and called Haku and Neru who were in their rooms. Gumi followed by Teto ran into the room. Gakupo stepped out of the bathroom.

"What is it?" asked the bread-addict. Kaito, who was now surrounded by all of the Vocaloids, cleared his throat.

"There is this site, right?" everybody nodded. "On the internet, right?" nods "It's called Fanfiction, right?"

"Get on with it!" yelled Meiko. Kaito laughed.

"Alright, alright. So, there is this site called Fanfiction, were all TV shows, books, animes, and stuff are featured. See, you can write a Fanfiction about a subject that doesn't belong to you, and post it there. And guess what?"

"WHAT?" Kaito didn't flinch. He was used to be being yelled at, especially for eating all of the ice-cream.

"We're on it, too! Vocaloid has its own section there! People are writing Fanfictions about us!" he declared.

Nobody reacted.

"Wait, so people are writing nonsense about us?" asked Neru, raising an eyebrow. Kaito nodded.

"Yup! Some are ridiculous, some are awesome quests, and some…" he paused. "Are very, very romantic" he said with a silly smirk.

The whole room glowed red.

Romance? But nobody here was dating anybody in particular! This was a big family. Not some love pit!

Everybody exchanges weird glances. Who was paired up with who? Kaito smiled.

"I already took a small peek there! Some of the most popular straight couples are me and Miku, Rin and Len, Luka and Gakupo, it goes on!" all winced, besides Kaito.

Luka grumbled. She was never going with a guy who had long hair and who liked eggplants.

Miku grumbled. This guy's had eaten too much ice cream, he was going mad.

The twins had blanched. But…they were twins!

Teto raised a finger.

"Wait…you said 'straight couples'" Kaito nodded.

"Yep! Some of the most popular couples are gay ones!" the whole room exploded.

"What do you mean?" called out Meiko. Luka grew red.

"Well, the most popular gay couple is me and Len!" Len fainted on the spot. Rin looked at Kaito.

"You creep! Look at what you've done to him!" Kaito shrugged.

"It's not me! Look!" he turned towards the screen and everybody huddled to get a look at it.

He typed in the address, and sure enough, a site popped up. He clicked 'misc.', then 'Vocaloid'. A whole list popped up, and everybody gasped, scanning the contents while Kaito fumbled with the filters.

He clicked 'go' and everybody gasped.

Two hundred KaitoxLen Fanfictions. He smirked.

"See? And there aren't even the rated 'M's here" Luka looked at him.

"Rated 'M'?"

"Mature! Mature content, explicit scenes, etc…" he explained while Len, who was just waking up, fainted again. Rin scowled and dragged him to their room, not to come back.

Teto, the curious loudmouth, asked a difficult question that made all girls choke.

"What's the most popular girl on girl couple?" Luka grew red again, while Gakupo had to leave because of nosebleed. Miku mumbled something about perverts, while Kaito grinned.

"Luka and Miku"

This time, Luka grew a deep shade of red, while Miku's eyes became the size of dinner plates.

"Wha, what?" she stuttered. Kaito smirked, and fumbled with the filters again.

"See, look!" one hundred twenty Fanfictions. Kaito smirked knowingly at Luka's red face.

"Let's look at the rated' M's, shall we?"

"Are you mad?" screamed the tuna-loving diva. "There are minors here!" Kaito's smirk turned evil.

"I don't care!" Luka gasped, and pushed out all of the younger Vocaloids out of the room. Meaning Miku, Neru, Gumi (she was already perved-up enough. No need to show her more mature things), and Haku (she was sleeping). Those who remained in the room were Kaito, Teto, and Meiko (who was also asleep. Apparently she had drunk with Haku again) and Luka herself.

"Now, turn that off right now!" she yelled at Kaito, He didn't move. "Kaito!" Luka then noticed that Teto was also silent right now, and was bright red. Both were looking at the monitor.

"What are you-?" she asked, looking at the screen.

She regretted it. The content caught her eye.

Luka slowly read the lines, her face getting redder by the second.

"Luka?" she couldn't hear. "Luka, are you…bleeding?" Luka looked at Kaito, who had an amused smirk on his face.

"You pervert…your nose is bleeding!" he said, amused.

Luka quickly covered her nose. Yes…she was bleeding. Just be reading that…

"So you like what you read, huh?" asked the blue-haired boy, a suggestive spark in his eyes.

"N-no! That's ridiculous!" she tried, still covering her face.

Oh…she was soooo busted.

"You like thinking about doing that" he pointed at the screen "with Miku, huh?" he asked, taking delight in Luka's distress.

Luka couldn't deny it. She had liked Miku since a while now, and now she was busted. Her bleeding nose said it all. Teto looked at her.

"I think that's cute! You two are cute together!"

"Especially in this way~" said Kaito, pointing at the screen again.

"Stop that, Kaito!" yelled the older diva. He smirked again.

"Tell you what. You tell Miku you like her, and we won't tell anybody about this…these happenings" he offered.

Luka didn't know what to do. This perfectly ordinary morning had turned into a catastrophe.

Tell Miku…and probably be rejected and be treated as disgusting for liking a girl?

Or have Kaito tell everybody about this?

For some reason, both scared her equally.

At that moment Gakupo emerged from the bathroom, wiping his nose. Kaito perked up.

"Hey, Gakupo! Guess what just happened? I-"

"Ok, ok! Don't tell anybody!" yelled Luka, panicking. Gakupo seemed puzzled, but Kaito didn't continue. Instead, he closed the window and opened the door.

"Ok, kiddies. It's ok to come out now!" he called down the hallway. He walked towards the kitchen, and on the way he whispered in Luka's ear.

"You have 'till tomorrow dinner" Luka gulped.

This couldn't get worse.

At dinner, Luka was terribly silent. Well, she always was kind of the 'I talk when I need to, and no more than necessary' types. But now, she seemed really, really silent.

Miku kept looking at her. After they had been pushed out of the door, she heard yelling, silence, then more yelling. Stupid soundproof doors couldn't let her hear what was said.

But now, Luka seemed deep in thought, troubled, worried even. Kaito, though, seemed the complete opposite. And Teto seemed oddly happy, and kept looking at her. It was starting to creep her out.

Miku sighed, and glanced at her food. She wasn't hungry.

Seeing Luka so worried made her worried, too. She wondered what was troubling her so.

"Kaito?" she asked. "Why are you so happy?" it was a strange question, but it troubled her. For some reason, Luka looked at the boy, too, and fear crossed her figures. Kaito smiled.

"It just happens that I am the owner of a good piece of blackmail. And, if the person doesn't reveal it herself, then I will have to tell the story myself" he looked at Luka. "Isn't that right?" he seemed very, very amused, while Luka just seemed terrified.

Wait, so Luka was the victim of blackmail?

"That's not very nice!" exclaimed Miku suddenly. "Blackmailing is a way of manipulating somebody. I think that's mean!" Kaito shrugged.

"Well, it's not that bad" Luka shook her hand.

"Yeah…it's not that bad" Miku frowned. Why?

"I'm going to go check on Len" declared the smaller diva, rising from the table.

Len wasn't able to bring himself to going to dinner. He was just that terrified of Kaito right now.

But jeez! That was just a story! A bunch of people who write what they hope and imagine, for the fun of it! Nothing to be taken seriously…

Miku, instead of going to Len's room, went to her own.

What was troubling Luka so?

Luka lay on her bed, troubled.

Both Kaito and Teto knew of her crush. Well, that wasn't really the worst part. Both seemed to have accepted it quite warmly, even if she was crushing on another girl. Normally such relationships were frowned upon. So, that was a positive point.

But, Kaito knows. So now he has great blackmail. Well, not really the secret itself, but the fact that she bled at a rated 'Mature' Fanfiction. That was embarrassing.

She didn't know what to do.

Miku is open, kind, sometimes a little childish, but a good person. Almost no prejudices, even.

But, how will she take that news in particular? Never before have they discussed homosexuality, mostly because there were twelve-year-olds in the house. So, Luka had no idea how Miku would react to that.

Also, Luka was like a big sister for her, Luka knew that. If Miku suddenly heard that she liked her, then it could be awkward. Really awkward, even.

For those reasons, Luka preferred not to tell.

But then, if Kaito told the whole household that she had a nosebleed for that kind of scene in particular…she wouldn't be seen the same ever again. Especially Miku. Hell, it might scare them all. Freak them out.

Should she tell Miku herself first, or not?

Most would immediately say 'it's easier to tell yourself, not to have some other guy tell for you'. Also, more negative points are visible in that direction.

And yet, Miku's reaction terrified her so much. Luka was deeply attached to her; she wouldn't bare not being able to be with her again.

What to do, what to do? Two choices, both equally scary.

And yet, telling Miku had the best chances for a 'Happy End'. Luka looked at her clock.

Ten thirty.

Was she thinking that long over it? Luka grumbled.

For hours on end, she had been laying there in her clothes? Ridiculous. This matter was troubling her way too much for it to be healthy.

Luka slowly got to her feet, slowing down when small stars blurred her vision, and headed towards the kitchen.

Some tuna should help her sleep.

Hopefully.

Unfortunately, there was no tuna in the fridge.

Mumbling something under her breath, Luka searched for something else to eat.

Ice cream…no thanks, nothing cold. Eggplants, no thanks. Some bread? Nah. Carrots, oranges bananas? No fruit or vegetables, she wasn't in the mood to eat healthy. The only thing that wasn't listed yet was the long leek.

She didn't feel like vegetables, as she had said.

She closed the fridge, slightly angry. Why did everybody always forget to buy enough tuna? Everybody knew that she ate the whole stock in less than a day. Frustrating, really.

Not like she needed problems right now.

She grumbled again. She had no idea what to do now. It was now practically quarter to eleven, dark outside, nothing to eat or to do, and she was certainly not going to sleep with her mind troubled like this.

Dang you, Kaito. You brought this state of mind onto her.

Luka huffed and plopped herself on the couch.

Absolutely nothing to do then think about all of the problems. It almost hurt.

"Luka? What are you doing here?" Luka didn't have to look in order to recognize the owner of the voice. Her voice. How cliché, right?

"I can't sleep" she grumbled. She felt Miku suddenly feel worried. Never before had Luka grumbled in a truly frustrated way. It surprised the smaller girl. "And what about you?" asked Luka, looking at the girl this time. It was polite to look at the person you were conversing with. Miku shrugged, Luka could barely see the movement in the dim light.

"Me neither" Miku plopped next to her, and immediately Luka remembered what she had read earlier that day. Her face turned bright red. Oh, curse you, Kaito…

Miku didn't notice Luka's sudden discomfort.

"There is something on my mind, I just can't sleep with it" Luka barely listened, trying to ban those forbidden thoughts from her mind. "Luka, are you listening?"

"Ah, uh, sorry. What?" she stuttered, trying to regain focus. Miku still seemed dense.

"I said that something is troubling me" Luka nodded, trying to listen as intently as she could. She fidgeted a little.

"What is it, then?" she tried. Could she leave? Then she would feel so much more comfortable.

Miku eyed her, seeing her fumble a bit at the edge of her shirt. What was she nervous about?

"I was thinking about you"

Luka nearly choked. WHAT? What was that?

"You seemed troubled" Ah. So that's what it was. Nothing like…that.

Luka blushed again at the memory.

"Really?" why did her voice break?

Miku studied her. She wasn't acting normally.

"Does it have something to do with the site Kaito showed us this afternoon?" Luka jumped. Bull's eye.

"N-no!" Luka could see in the dim light that Miku was slowly putting two and two together.

"Wait…you read some of that stuff that had us in it?" Luka reddened more. "And something happened, and now Kaito had blackmail about it. Concerning you" she said slowly. Luka felt her gut tighten. "What did happen?" she asked all of a sudden. Luka felt her world start to drown in anxiousness. Should she tell or not? Miku smiled when she saw her blush.

"Come on, Luka! Surely nothing that bad! It was only a story!" Luka looked away, her face getting redder. She could feel that Miku was feeling amused. Never before had Luka blushed, so now she was taking advantage of it.

Miku smiled.

"It was rated 'M', right?" she grinned when she saw Luka blush to her ears even in this dim light. "Aha, I'm getting closer!"

Luka felt frustrated at how fun Miku was seeing this. This was profoundly embarrassing for her, and Miku was laughing at it! And at her!

"So…it had that kind of stuff in it, right?" Luka wanted to run away right now. In fact, why wasn't she running away?

Instead, she crossed her arms, trying to act cool. Yet, it seemed to amuse the younger star even more.

"So we were doing that kind of stuff, huh?" Miku grinned when Luka practically twist off her neck to avoid her gaze. Instead Miku sat up a little to get a better look at Luka.

Was she…bleeding?

Miku couldn't contain her laughter.

"Aw, Luka! That's so cute!" Luka wanted to yell 'That isn't cute! It's darn creepy!'. Yet, she only continued avoiding her faze, putting a hand to her nose.

Darn, she was bleeding again.

The only good thing here was that Miku didn't seem disgusted at all about that kind of stuff. She only seemed so frustratingly amused.

Miku calmed her laughter a little, and looked back at the taller girl.

"Luka, you don't have to be so embarrassed! You know that it's only a story…" she suddenly seemed to get it.

Luka didn't exactly hate reading that kind of stuff.

Luka felt her gut twist. So, how cute is it now, Miku?

Despite the sarcasm, she was deeply terrified right now.

She felt Miku tug on her sleeve, but she refused to move. Oh…she was so busted.

"Luka?" she seemed worried. Oh, darn. She was more than busted, she was destroyed. "Luka?"

"What?" Luka knew she shouldn't have replied. She knew what kind of question was following, and didn't want to reply to it.

Fear was making her fingers go numb.

She couldn't handle it anymore.

Luka got up quickly in a sharp movement and headed to her room, locking the door behind her.

She was sure Miku was freaked out now. Freaked out about her. Seriously, knowing that you're written in a story, and that the second person in that kind of story bleeds because of it, that could only be labeled as creepy. Darn creepy, even. Shiver-inducing.

Luka collapsed on her bed, and quietly started crying, knowing that Miku hated her now.

Luka got up late, eyes sore and smelling terrible.

She had fallen asleep in her clothes at around one in the morning.

She couldn't feel worse. Miku hated her now that was sure. And now Luka was scared of her in return.

Oh, how awkward are things going to get? Very awkward.

She got up and changed into a fresh set of clothes and glanced at the clock. One in the afternoon.

Luka shuffled towards the kitchen, happy that nobody was to be seen. Opening the fridge, she smiled when she saw the pile of tuna. A whole stack.

Finally they had taken her needs for the fish in consideration.

Luka seized a can and opened it clumsily, and took a spoon. Ok, straight out of the can, but who cares? She was alone, anyways.

She walked into the living room. She immediately spotted the note on her usual spot. She slowly walked towards it and read it quickly. Her tuna wasn't going to wait.

Hey, Luka!

We're all at the studio by the time you read this! We went shopping, did the laundry, and washed the dishes. Nothing left for you to do.
Well, besides little Miku here. Can you help?
She hasn't spoken much, and seems tired. We think she might be sick, but she doesn't have any fever or other symptoms. Well, we're kinda hoping you could solve the problem. We're kinda worried. You've always been the closest to her, anyways.
Oh, and Kaito says something about 'you have till dinnertime', as a reminder. I have no idea what that's about, but just saying.

Good luck!

Meiko and twins.

Luka gulped. This was worse than she thought.

Miku was traumatized or something.

And she was the last person who would be able to help her.

Luka's day has been spent in fear and uncertainty.

She couldn't make up her mind or figure out an escape plan. She desperately wanted everything to finish without too many tears, but it seemed impossible.

When the door opened, Luka's door closed.

She didn't want to see anyone anymore.

She was just that scared.

Luka felt the seconds tick by every year. He knew that dinner time was approaching. The smell of stew filled the air, and everybody was getting hungry. Even Luka herself.

But she couldn't bring herself to exit the room she was in, both physical and mental. She was caged in her room, her personal bubble.

She just wished nobody could ever get her out of there.

If only time froze. Then she could live forever without any worries.

When Meiko announced the dinner, Luka cringed.

She wasn't going. She didn't dare show her face.

She realized she had been crying. But it wasn't the stains on her pants that told her, or the wetness on her face. But it was the ragged breathing, the slight wheezing she did every now and then.

Luka wanted to jump out of her skin when a knock was heard at her door but she couldn't move.

Was this the feeling being 'paralyzed with fear'? Then it was horribly true and painful.

The knock came again.

Luka didn't want to answer, she couldn't answer. She won't answer.

The door opened slowly, but Luka didn't look up. Just by hearing the footsteps she knew who it was.

"Luka?" Luka wanted to die.

Why was she here?

"Do you want me to bring something for you to eat?" Luka wanted to die in a hole.

She was being so nice…why?

"Luka, I'm worried for you" she said.

Luka couldn't take it. She wanted to be buried alive, wanted to freeze time, wanted to turn invisible and shrink on-the-spot.

She hunched her head deeper between her shoulders, still staring at the ground but not seeing anything. She felt the weight shift when Miku sat next to her.

"Kaito said he is going to announce something funny. Do you know what it is?" she asked, not touching her. Luka wanted to bleed to death.

He was going to tell everyone…despite her state.

"Yes…" she croaked. Why did it hurt so much? Miku sighed.

"The blackmail, is that it?" Luka nodded. Her throat hurt too much.

Luka felt like dying when Miku got up and left. The door closed behind her with a soft click, and Luka wanted to die.

Simply disappear in the wind.

But she couldn't.

Miku stepped in the room, seeming much more alive than three minutes ago. Rin smiled.

"Well, don't you look better!" she exclaimed. The whole table raised their head to look at her, and everybody smiled. That was good news.

"Is Luka coming?" asked Meiko.

"No, she isn't" replied the younger diva, voice stern. Kaito smiled as she sat.

"Well, right now I have something quite humorous to announce! It seems-" suddenly a leek was pointing straight in his face.

"No you're not" she stated flatly. He grinned.

"Oh, but I bet you would like-" the leek approached his nose dangerously.

"No, I do not. Not if it puts Luka in a state like that" He grinned again.

"Then leave the room, then-" the leek poked him lightly, making him fall silent again.

"Nobody here is hearing it" Kaito grinned.

"But, that's blackmail. She failed to do what was presented to her, so I give up the valuable, delicious information!" Miku rubbed the vegetable against his face, nearly stuffing it in his mouth. Her eyes started to fire up.

"She told me just now" she stated. Kaito grinned.

"Then what is it?" Miku smirked.

"She doesn't want the others to know" the boy deflated.

"Well, I trust you… Ok, no news today!" he said to the rest of the table. Gumi deflated, and most of the table started complaining silently. But all feared Miku's leek. She only pulled it out when she was really mad.

"Now, I have somewhere to be!" stated the girl, heading towards Luka's room. Everybody heard the door close with a bang.

For the rest of the evening, neither girl was to be seen.

Yup, another abrupt ending.

And, I'm writing again, something else. Please forgive me…

Also, a whole new story has popped up in my head, so I'll be writing that just to get it out of there, and then continue Sneering Eyes whenever Inspiration is generous.

Patience!