Mindless Pet Platypus
by The Sole Survivor

This here would be my own contribution. A plotless drabble based on my absolute favorite scene from the Phineas and Ferb movie Across the Second Dimension. I loved every second of it actually but this one was one that struck me the most, much like the lava scene, the part when Phineas and Ferb find Perry's lab, AND the touching goodbye scene. It's all amazing and I fell in love with Perry the Platypus. He's adorable.

Set in Perry's point of view. I do not own, so enjoy!

xx

This could not be happening. I really hate today. So far, today gets about a 2.5, maybe less if it gets any worse. Today was supposed to be like any other day despite it being the five-year-anniversary of when I was adopted by the Flynn-Fletcher family.

But no. It just couldn't be that simple.

Today just had to be the day when things went wrong. Phineas and Ferb just had to be at my enemy's penthouse helping him with his other-dimension-ator. Of course they would. Today just also happened to be the day when one of Doofenshmirtz's inventions actually worked because, truly and honestly, when hasn't a contraption the boys made ever not worked?

I haven't found one that didn't work, let me tell you. And I couldn't do a thing to stop it from happening. I was forced to reduce to the mindless pet I play day-after-day when I'm not Agent P.

Speaking of which, it's a mystery why I don't have a split-personality disorder and start questioning who I am every day.

But despite trying to run and hide with the last piece they needed to make the machine work and even going as far as to urinate on my enemy's couch (okay, I admit, I had a small sense of satisfaction in doing that), I still failed. They put the other-dimension-ator together for my nemesis and now, here we all are in this reverse-world.

One where my worst nightmare has become reality.

Phineas and Ferb have taken me out on a balcony and everywhere I see, it's a living hell. Doofenshmirtz - granted, it's not the one I battle daily seeing as this one has a black eyepatch - has his face and name plastered on every building in plain sight. It's a little disturbing and I can't help but dread every second I spent in that dimension. I had a small conscious thought about what happened to myself in this dimension, but it was gone as soon as Phineas grabbed me up and held me so I could see what the city had become.

And I didn't like it one bit.

We had to leave and we had to leave now. But I couldn't do anything about it. I was the 'mindless platypus' in the company of the very boys who had to be the last to know who I really was. And I couldn't very well let them find out my secret agent status even if my whole body was tingling with foreboding danger just from staying there.

So, when prompted, I let out my typical platypus chatter. It always seems to cheer them up when they hear it so I do it as often as I can. I think seeing the 'Doofenshmirtz rules all' dimension has them a little anxious to leave, so I was more than a little relieved when Phineas asked where the man went to.

And lo and behold - I wasn't very surprised if you ask me - we find my nemesis chatting it up with the ruler of this dimension, his own doppleganger. Though this is where it goes downhill pretty quickly.

The other Heinz Doofenshmirtz instantly recognizes me. Even as the 'pet platypus'. My mind begins racing as he points an accusing finger at me, claiming I'm a secret agent just posing as their pet. I feel my heart skip a beat but I retain my blank expression, praying that we can get out of here before anything else goes bad that might cause me to reveal myself.

"General Platyborg, come down here at once."

I swear that the universe just lovedmaking things difficult for me.

Oh, so that's where the Perry went in this world. It's this dimension's Perry the Platypus but he's got metal armor and a mechanical eye. Then that means... that I was defeated? And apparently made to work for the very guy who won.

My blood runs cold and I sit as still as I can, trying my best to push the dread out of my stomach. So far, it wasn't working.

The other dimension's Doofenshmirtz pointed his finger at me while talking to the metal platypus. "Alright, Platyborg, you see that platypus?" Platyborg turned his head to glance at me and I tensed at the cold, calculating look in his eye. "You know what to do."

This was just peachy. Since Phineas and Ferb were there, all I could do was take the hit. The metal platypus ran at me and smacked me clear across the room. I rolled over with a soundless grunt and shook it off like any other animal would. So far so good. I could take a few hits if it meant that my secret identity was still kept secret.

"What was that for?" I heard Phineas shout before I saw the two of them running toward me. "Perry, are you okay? How are his vitals?" He asked Ferb who somehow had managed to get a hold of a stethoscope. If I could have, I would've laughed. The entire situation was like it was leading up to me being found out by -

"Told yah." My nemesis droned, interrupting my sarcastic thoughts to the universe.

"Wait, let me try something. Oh, Platyborg. Do the same thing to those two boys."

...are you kidding me?

I felt my eyes widen. Would he seriously put Phineas and Ferb in danger just to get me to reveal myself? He was crazy and utterly absurd. I could practically feel the metal footsteps of the Platyborg as he rushed toward us. My body tensed again, the muscles tightening - both out of preparation for a fight and anger because he had literally crossed the line. He had intentionally put the two boys I hold dearest to me in danger just to get meto react. That imaginary thread of whatever patience that I had was threatening to snap.

If it was a fight he wanted, it was exactly what he was going to get.

I vaguely heard Phineas say, "What?" as the Platyborg hopped up to us. At that moment, I didn't care. I just didn't care what happened to me, or who found out my secret, or what the consequences were. Phineas and Ferb were in danger and I was the only one who could do anything about it.

With all these thoughts racing through my head, I lost all reason and my eyes narrowed. Years of agent training had prepared my body to have quick reflexes and to act purely on intinct. I had no problem pushing myself from the floor and just as quickly bringing my fist back to send it promptly into the other platypus's face with the speed and skill of an archer's bow and arrow. Platyborg stumbled backwards out of surprise and I fell into my battle stance.

It was quiet for all of two seconds before I heard a surprised, "Perry?"

I froze and turned a nervous glance to look at Phineas and Ferb's eyes. Both boys' had equally surprised and shocked expressions on their faces.

"Yes! I knew it!" I heard the eyepatch-wearing Doofenshmirtz gloat and I turned narrowed eyes their way. The Doofenshmirtz, the one from our dimension and the one I fight daily, was staring our way with wide eyes.

"Wait a minute, I'm confused. Why does their platypus fight so good?" He asked.

How does this guy get dressed by himself? I can't believe this guy is the one I fight every day. I pull out my fedora and with a roll of my eyes I place it on my head dully. This he reacts to and he gasps as he points at me dramatically.

"Perry the Platypus!" He exclaims and I face-palm. But all that vanishes when I glance at Phineas's distraught and confused expression. The hurt on his face nearly breaks my heart and I so desperately want to make him smile again. But being a platypus who can only chatter - which I doubt would do any cheering up at this point - was a serious disadvantage for someone who clearly needed to explain themselves.

"Perry?" Phineas asks and I frown slightly and avert my eyes. I daresay that this would be the hardest mission I've ever been thrown into. I'd give anything to be able to deny using them as a cover - it was true, yes, but they were so much more than that, to tell them that I loved them as my own family, and to say I was really sorry for letting it get this far.

But Phineas was right. I should've put on my 'little hat' and done something about this long before it got this far. Long before I put them into the kind of trouble they're in now. Certain things happen for a reason, I suppose. But I would keep everyone safe, especially Phineas and Ferb.

Or my name wasn't secret agent Perry the Platypus.

xx

I don't know, I just really love this part. C: It makes me laugh when Doofenshmirtz goes, "Wait a minute, I just realized! That was a conscious choice, you peed on my couch!" And Perry just shrugs with an awkward grin. It was adorable.

But I might do another drabble if you readers like this one.

Official disclaimer: I do not own Phineas and Ferb Across the Second Dimension.