Disclaimer: I don't own the Megami Tensei series, or any of the characters used in this fic. They are the property of ATLUS, and their respective concept creators. I only own any of my original characters that I choose to include, as well as any of my own original plot ideas.

Heart, Don't Fail Me Now

How can one describe something they've never felt before? Strange, quirky, different, unnatural. He supposed that all these things applied to the situation in which he found himself. But, if he had to choose a way to express it, he'd have to say abnormal. Yes, it was far from what he'd known all this time: Beating the tar out of people who pissed him off, biker gangs who kept his beloved mother awake late into the night, damning the world when his classmates would make fun of his upbringing.

It was all so... new.

He'd never really had a lot of friends. Sure, there had been the neighborhood kids when he was small, but did they really count? They'd only played together a few times out of the summer. The rest of the time, he'd stayed up in his room, questioning why people seemed to be so afraid of him. Had it been because he was the loud, take-charge kind? But... didn't the weak need a leader?

As the time had wore on Kanji had thrown that all aside. He'd distanced himself from those childhood playmates, and had started to work on the things he'd missed out on by not having his father around. He'd wanted to be a man's man, the kind of person he imagined that his father had been. Strong, loud, and full of pride. When he thought about that face in the frame, that was what he'd seen.

All he'd wanted was to make his father proud.

He'd been angry with the way people had treated him in middle school. Making fun of him because he was skilled with tailoring. What did they expect from him, being born into a family that owned a textile shop? It wasn't exactly normal for boys his age to know how to sew, but... did that really make him that strange? Did they really have any room to talk about him? Didn't they have any secrets that they wanted to hide from people? Didn't they know how it felt to be the butt of everyone's stupid jokes?

The way they had talked, Kanji had begun to believe that he was the only one who wasn't "normal."

Maybe that was why he'd distanced himself from guys and girls alike. They'd laugh at him, mock him, tell him that he was the black sheep. After three long years of torment, he'd damned them all.

Now, things had changed. He'd found people who accepted him as he was, people who didn't try to make him feel like shit. They had saved his sorry, doubtful ass, and had welcomed him as a part of the group. Sure, they'd tease him from time to time, but wasn't that what friends did?

For the longest time, he'd been searching for something of meaning. Some way to fit in with kids his own age so that his mother wouldn't spend all her time worrying. Finally, it seemed that it had paid off.

He'd finally found something worthwhile. They'd done so much for him, which was why he'd now return the favor. For them, these newfound friends, and for some well-deserved payback, he'd work to find this bastard, to take his ass off that high horse he was sitting on.

He just hoped that his nerve would see him through.

Kanji's orientation is never really explained, but I personally think he's just trying to figure himself out. A lot of people do that. Hell, I used to be afraid of the opposite sex because they always teased me, but now I'm not. Haven't been for years. It is, after all, up to the player to decide for themselves how to perceive his character.