Title: In Time

Author: Annaliesegrace

Rating: Eh, K…just in case.

Summary: Word of the day fic. I hope to do two a week until the season premier (six weeks away!), but that might be asking a lot, work has been insane, which is oddly where I do my best writing. Not all will be long, this one is insanely short for me, but it worked. And while I use the dictionary app for the WoD, they won't be posted the day they pop up on the app. I'm not that fast.

Reviews are always appreciated. Feel free to press the lovely button on the way out.

Chaptalize: (verb) To increase the alcohol in a wine by adding sugar.

"Do you realize how much of our relationship revolves around alcohol?" she asked while swirling the wine currently in her glass and looking at her partner who was seated next to her at the bar, his own beer in hand.

Briefly he looked at his bottle before swallowing the last of the liquid. "You called it a relationship again."

She gave him an irritated look. "Nevermind."

The tone got his attention and he turned fully toward her, clearly there was something on her mind. "What's up?"

"I just…" she blew out a breath and took another long sip. The nights they spent together at the bar had become a regular occurrence now and they had mutually, and silently, agreed never to mention it in front of the other two team members. Because they both knew the crap they would get if their time off hours got out. Especially the frequency of it. "I don't know. We come here and we drink together and sometimes we talk…but usually it's just…"

Now he leaned into her slightly. "Superficial."

She looked at him surprised but nodded. "Yeah."

"So what? You want to have deep, meaningful conversations? We don't do that, Kens."

"I know. But why don't we? We're friends, right?"

He nodded. "I'd like to think so."

"Me too," she sighed and put her elbow on the wooden bar, resting the side of her head on her hand. She really wasn't sure what her point was anymore. The words Hetty had spoken to her before the manager had disappeared halfway around the world still rattled around in her head on occasion. And for some ridiculous reason mostly when she was alone with Deeks. Tonight with the addition of the wine her melancholy seemed worse. Because sometimes Kensi was sure she was destined to be alone.

"Hey," he whispered, pulling her from her thoughts, and reached out, tentatively resting his hand on her shoulder. "What is going on with you?"

"Hetty…before she pulled her disappearing act we talked and she made me realize that I can't spend my entire life alone. One day my NCIS career will be over and what will I have? A bunch of commendations that I can't even show anyone? A really nice collection of weapons?"

"I know it's hard…"

"You don't seem to have any trouble finding company…" she muttered and as she sat fully up his hand fell from her shoulder.

"Sure, I don't have trouble getting a girl to come home with me. We have a good time and maybe she stays through breakfast. But that's it; usually I don't see them again." He stared at a spot beyond her shoulder. "Except Jess."

She downed the last of her wine. "We are two screwed up people, you know that?"

He considered that before suddenly hopping down off the bar stool and held out a hand to her. "Walk with me?"

She narrowed her eyes at him but took his hand and followed him out the door. As they moved farther away from the bar he took a chance and twined his fingers with hers. Silently they approached a park a few blocks from Wilshire and quickly found a bench to sit on, the late hour ensuring they were alone despite being in the middle of a bustling city. Most people were just getting to the clubs and they could vaguely hear the din of Wilshire behind them.

After several more moments of silence, most of which he spent staring up into the cloudless sky; Deeks finally spoke, turning sideways to face her.

"You are not screwed up, Kensi. Not more than the rest of us, anyway. You know why I don't try harder at relationships?"

"No," she said softly.

"My parents…they didn't exactly give me the best of examples. My Dad used to beat the crap out of my Mom and me. She never fought back; she just…took it. I still blame her for that, for leaving it to her eleven year old son to put an end to it. Needless to say our relationship was strained until I left the house at eighteen. It's hard to know what to do in a real relationship when that's your baseline. "

Kensi was only vaguely aware of the violence of Deeks' childhood, she knew he had shot his father at a young age in self defense, but that was it, she could only speculate the whys. "You never talk about it."

"Why bother?"

She reached out one hand and placed it on his upper arm, squeezing gently. "Why not."

Even in the dark she was able to see his normally bright eyes darken slightly. "I'm not sure you want to hear it."

"I do…"

"Yeah?" his voice was slightly snippy. "And are you going to tell me all about your perfect childhood with your Dad?"

"That was uncalled for, Deeks."

He looked back up at the sky. "I know, I'm sorry."

"My Mom died when I was really young…cancer. My Dad and I, we were inseparable after that, we only had each other. And when he didn't come home one night I knew something was wrong." Her voice cracked at the end and suddenly his warm hand dropped onto her shoulder, fingers caressing the nape of her neck. "They found his body at the side of the road the next morning. The guys he went out with didn't know anything, he left before they did. They tried…but every lead went nowhere. Never caught who did it."

Again his hand reached out and cupped her cheek gently. And for a brief moment she leaned into him, accepting the comfort and warmth. "Kens, I'm sorry."

She took a long, shuddering breath. "I lost my Dad and my best friend that night."

The hand on her neck gently pulled her body into his in a half embrace. "Maybe we are screwed up. But you know what, we can be screwed up together, how does that sound?"

"I'd like that."

"I'd like that, too." He responded and they both smiled at the familiarity of the words.

Deeks wrapped one arm around her, pulling her body closer into him and looked up at the twinkling stars. And for one moment, he didn't feel screwed up at all.

Well that came out A LOT darker and moodier than I intended and it sorta veered off from the word a little bit there. But it was partially inspired by Shane Brennan stating in an interview that Kensi and Deeks will talk about relationships in the season premier.