HTF H.E.R.O

I am the greatest hero in the world.

Or so I want to be…

But I'm not a hero, I'm just a college student with an —as my evil twin brother Spirit puts it—over worked imagination. My name is Spencer Anderson; I'm a lit student at Happy Tree College. I'm your normal 21 year old nerd; I read comic books, have glasses and am yes, I'm a virgin—sadly.

"Mr. Anderson! Please stop daydreaming and read the next passage!" My teacher's voice screamed in my ears. I jumped slightly coming out of my daydream as I stood up; moving my glasses a little and ignoring the snickers from my lovely classmates; I looked at the passage she was talking about.

"He is not easy to describe. There is something wrong with his appearance; something displeasing, something down-right detestable. I never saw a man I so disliked, and yet I scarce know why. He must be deformed somewhere; he gives a strong feeling of deformity, although I couldn't specify the point. He's an extraordinary looking man, and yet I really can name nothing out of the way. No, sir; I can make no hand of it; I can't describe him. And it's not want of memory; for I declare I can see him this moment." I read the passage without really thinking about it. This was by far one of the stupidest books ever: The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I hate this book so very much.

"Very good" my teacher—Ms. Quitter—sighed she loved it when I read said it calmed her or something. "Now Mr. Anderson can you tell the class what this passage is talking about?"

Damn it, I hate it when she does this.

"This passage is when Utterson is trying to tell the others about Hyde. But, seeing as Hyde is Jekyll—who is a seemingly normal person. He can't find a physical flaw that is out of the ordinary. The writer may have been trying to tell the reader that looks can be disserving." I murmured nonchalantly.

My teacher beamed at me; please as ever with my answer. "Thank you Mr. Anderson, you may sit down now." she said softly. But before I could the bell rang. I sighed with some relief and went to lunch.

After waiting in a line at a fast food place of about 20 minutes and searching for my friends for 3 minutes I finally got to eat.

Now my friends are an interesting group of people; mainly cause their mostly girls who dragged their boy toys over to sit with them. Anyway I'll tell you about them.

First we have Franky: a sweet girl who is paranoid—I don't care if she says she is not, she is. She has long wild red hair, big brown eyes and is studying to be a nurse. Franky and I go way back all the way to kindergarten. We now joke about how I 'saved her' from the bullies by throwing my gram crackers at them—ya very heroic I know—and then latter she wanted to thank me with a kiss—since she was young and believed in that prince charming shit—but I ran away thinking she would give me cooties. We became good friends after that and later went to prom together as friends…just friends. There had never been anything else between us though I have secretly tried to get myself to fall for her; I always end up just seeing her as my best friend and that's all.

Next to her was Petunia: the hottest girl in the whole school. She was like frecking Aphrodite only with long blue hair instead of golden. Petunia was the head of the cheerleading team and was a neat freak when it came to her house. She became part of our little circle when she started dating Haden (one of my few male friends.) Her Mother is one of the local millionaires—along with my parents and the Smuggle brats Father; who—also like my parents—is never home—she has great parenting skills—and her dad just isn't in the picture so let's not bring him up. Really we're not that closes but ya know she's nice and all. Oh ya and she's a theater/performer student.

And then there was Haden—like I said one of my few male friends. Haden was a mechanics student. His eyes and hair are the same light brown and he's fairly muscular. We met in middle school when we had to do a project on a Greek myth together—we got Hercules—at first we didn't really like each other for versus reasons which I will not bring up—we both liked Petunia. As you may have guessed I lost the 'Please Petunia More War' but I'm okay with that now…kind of.

Next to him was Ginger and Cody a loving couple that will be together forever. I mean they've been dating since like middle school or something! I don't know I met them in high school when they were freshmen. Ginger has bubblegum pink hair and sparkling brown eyes, Cody's blond with dark blue eyes. I've never asked about their family lives. Anyway Ginger is also a lit student and Cody is a USA History student.

Then we come to Toni and Nathan—Nate. Toni and I are great friends; Nate and I not so much. Nate's Father runs the local candy store so he practically thrives off sweets. His eyes are different colors one a yellowish green the other a normal olive color and his hair is an odd shade of blond. Toni has lavender hair and amethyst eyes. As far as I'm concerned they are very close friends. But in my own opinion they would be good together. Ya Toni's gay and has the hots for Nate. But I don't know about Nate so I don't push the subject. They're both biasness students.

The last person of our little group was Lana a sweet—crazy—girl. She also had violet hair and light blue eyes. I know little about her passed, but I do know that she speaks highly of 'Mr. Pickles;' some imaginary being that lives in her head. But who am I to talk I am 21 and read comic books. She's studying to be a writer.

"Long lines?" Franky asked.

I only nodded and began to eat.

"It was ridicules," I said after swallowing. "Why do we all have one lunch? I mean the Rooks are here and they all eat the same thing, in-sink, it's just creepy!"I hissed glaring at one of the tables.

'The Rooks' were the name given to the schools R.O.T.C.

They scared the shit out of me; they all seemed to look the same; scowls, frown lines and bulky bodies. The Rooks looked like a war movie come to life. I didn't trust them though—do know why—it seemed that they were working to be more than just military people.

I hated one of them more than any of the others: Phillip Doppelganger. Phillip is a young man with green hair that falls just below his ears in the fount and the nap of his neck in the back and a pair of soul melting emerald eyes.

He was something.

My eyes settled on Phillip who was looking at me with a similar apathetic look. His eyes were glazed as if he was looking at something else far away from the college in my eyes. Sometimes if I look into his eyes for a long time—which is creepy so I don't do it often—I see something other than my reflection. I can't place what it is but it's seems familiar somehow.

I wet my suddenly dry lips. We were both just staring at each other; it was like we we're both expecting something to happen, searching for something.

Don't get me wrong; I hate him with the burning passion of a thousand suns, but, there was something about him that also engrossed me; mystified me; and almost made me sadistically obsessed with him—not healthy I know.

"Geek; don't stare or I'll have to pay Luke two bucks." An annoying voice shattered my thoughts once more.

My lips and eyes narrowed with anger. The Smuggle brothers; I turned to look at the two identical twins gazing at me, their normal trade mark grins bigger than ever. I hate this two more then I hate Doppelganger, who is a hard act to fallow may I add.

"I apologies Shane that you lost money on your stupid bet; what do you need from me." I hissed.

"Well," Shane started "I have an imaginary/romance paper I have to write for a class I wanted you to look over it." He said slyly.

I know it.

"Alright let me see it." I groaned. The two smiled their creepy smile before handing the paper to me.

Moving my glasses a little I began to read over the paper.

"Shane." I murmured.

"Ya?" the elder said nonchalantly.

"Learn to punctuate." I hissed before shoving so fries into my mouth.

The jade eyes looked away; his cheeks slightly flushed if you looked carefully.

"Nay, shut up dork." The elder Smuggle muttered before sticking out his tong at me. Regardless of being older Shane had a very childish attitude around the others.

I rolled my eyes at this; took a bite out of my lunch and pulled out a red pin. As I chewed I circled and libeled things that needed to be fixed. But the more I read the stranger this got.

"Shane?" I finally asked.

"Ya?"

"Did you steal this out of some girl's locker?" You see this story was so…sweet and loving and ya; and we're talking about Shane here! Mr. I'll-steal-random-crap-for-kicks! This was strange.

"What! No! Yes I wrote that girly crap! Shut up, I just had to write a story! J-just hurry up and tell me what I need to fix!" His face was redder then the tomatoes that Haden was eating.

I felt the need to suppress a chuckle as I shook my head.

"Fine, fine. Everything in red needs to be fixed; ok" I gave him his paper and watched him storm off; his brother trailing behind like a lost puppy.

"Sometimes I wonder about those two." I heard Petunia sigh before the bell rang telling us lunch was over.

My next three classes passed by in a blink of an eye. My last class I know wouldn't, it was—after all—P.E. Yes, physical education the most pointless class in college. You take it only so the jocks feel great about themselves and so you remember that you suck and no girl will ever date you unless you're ripped.

Even worse I had a weights class with Shane, Butch and Markus—the school bullies—Haden, Spirit and of course, my favor person of all time—yep you guessed, army boy himself—Phillip. All of which are masculine. My one saving grace is that I'm not the only weak-looking person in there Toni's with me and we tend to stick together.

First barrier: the locker room. Stone equity walls, concrete floor, hanging lights that only sometimes work and metal lockers; yes it looks like a prison. Oh and its louder then fuck in there!

"Yo geek!" a ruff 'gangster' tone yelled at me.

Grudgingly I turned to see two taller boys; one with sandy blond hair, dark brown eyes and pail skin, the other had cruelly brown hair, green eyes and was tanner then most kids here, both however had a shit-eating grins on their faces. I grounded and rolled my eyes Butch—the sandy blond—and Markus—the dark skinned.

"What do you two want from me?" I hissed slamming my locker shut with a loud bang.

"Oh come on nerd don't be like that. We just wanted to ask you if this was yours." Markus perred holding up one of my Superman comic books and waving it around for everyone to see.

…

Really?

"You got into my backpack? Really? Have you two no dignity left in your small brains?" I asked in a disgusted tone. These two drove me up the wall with their constant tormenting. They had fallowed me from high school and for whatever reason they wouldn't leave me the hell alone...ever!

Markus snorted holding my comic book my one flap.

Uge the indecency!

But before I could scold him on this fact and inform him that that was a rare comic there were only 1,000 copies left in the world. He continued.

"Well kid see we want to embarrass Doppelganger influent of the school. And if you ever wont this back you'll help us." Botch smirked.

"And if I don't?" I asked eyeing them suspiciously.

The two smirked before Markus began to slowly pull on the flaps of it till it made a ripping sound.

My heart just about stopped as I heard that horrid sound.

"Stop! Stop! Please that's a collectors its' from 1945 be careful with it!" I cried in horror.

"So you'll help us." Markus asked ripping the comic book a little more.

"Yes! Just give it back." I screamed in panic.

"great! You'll get it back after we wanna make sure you do what we ask." Butch smirked.

"So, as we said before Doppelganger got on our bad side and we want him to suffer. So we want you—oh dork of comic books—to kiss 'em full on the mouth." they smirked at me as my face paled.

What did I ever do to them? God if one of my babies wasn't in danger of being ripped to shreds I would have flat out refused. But…I looked at the comic book and with a great sigh and a feeling of self-loathing; I agreed.

"Fine" I grounded.

"Good, better do it before the teacher comes, but after everyone's in there." And with that they left for class.

…

I am screwed.

A/N: And chapter one ends! Finally! So ya this is my first Happy Tree Friends Story and it is a Slash story. Hahahaha now before you kill me for this I am also writing a Vampier!AU which will be FxF. The names should be easy to figure out but if not tell me and I'll handle it. :P. Also this is a Sixth Since!AU and Humanised (if you hadn't already guessed that.)

Also criticism is fine as long as it's good criticism so I can improve on my writing. So ya.

Review!