title: healing scars

summary: In which Mashiro flinches away from Kensei, and he brings her back to him.

note: I was half asleep while writing this. It might show. Even if my lovely Allie fixed it. There is just so much magic she has in her brain.

disclaimer: No, Kensei and Mashiro do not belong to me. Nor does Bleach. In case you couldn't tell.

Nightmares.

Everyone has them, at least all of them did. That was nothing new. But Mayuri… That baka really hit home with his stupid stunt.

Mashiro was never one to be a sad person. She didn't dwell on the past or on the more depressing parts of life. She liked to look on the brighter side of things. She prided herself on being the cheerful one out of all of the Vizards. She cheered up everyone, and even distracted them from their problems if the situation asked for it. After everything they'd all been through, if she didn't, who would?

When Mayuri did what he did, she tried to be happy. She went on with her life as if nothing was wrong, but it just didn't work. She went to whine to Kensei about what happened but she achieved nothing. She really didn't want to tell him the specifics of the situations, and she knew a simple "Mayuri hurt me" would get him riled up and send him on a rampage. It was a good distraction, if only for five minutes. In her whining and yelling, she managed to open her damned wound and she knew, she knew, the second that they opened Kensei would send her to bed.

She didn't give him the opportunity, complaining she was tired; she had disappeared into her room.

Being subjected to what Mayuri did brought back memories that she didn't want to remember. Not in the least. She knew that if the memories were back with a vengeance, so were the dreams, and the second she closed her eyes, she would be back to that night.

She sighed loudly and plopped down on her bed. She didn't mean to fall asleep, or even close her eyes for more time than necessary, but her body had other plans.

To Mashiro, Kensei was a rock. He held her where she was and kept her from killing herself in one way or another. He was her captain and her partner. She trusted him with her life, and in turn, he let her have his back. They perfectly balanced each other and she wouldn't change it for the world.

Her pleasant dream quickly took her back to that night. He was leading them and she was annoying the hell out of him. It was routine. But that night, that night scarred her for the rest of her life.

She remembers everything, every last detail, and in turn, her nightmare made her relive it. Waking up to the sound of Kensei shouting out obscenities and cursing Tousen, watching as he turned his head and stared at her.

"Get out of here Mashiro." He had choked out, blood coming out of his mouth and abdomen. Watching as white suddenly mingles with the red-red-ruby-red blood, her vision getting blurry and feeling tears on her face.

She caught his body before he fell, clinging to him as her life line. What was she going to do if he left her? How was she supposed to…?

She sobbed onto his chest, when she heard a scream. The same scream that came out of hollows. She lifted her head, trying pinpointing where the hollow was, only to see Kensei's red eyes glare at her behind a mask that had appeared on his face.

Her eyes widened in horror. "No…" was all she could say before his fist connected with her face. She flew back, breaking a few trees before she could stop herself.

The next thing she knew, Kensei was in her face once more, arm drawn back and ready to hit her once more. Using her smaller form, she managed to dodge, but barely.

She remembered being confused, her head pounding viciously, and being unable to do anything but run. She couldn't believe that Kensei would hit her, hurting her that bad. She shook her head, clearing away those thoughts. No. She told herself it wasn't him, but in all of that panic, she didn't know what to think.

Tears were permanently streaming down her face as she ran through the forest, trying to get back to camp where she could grab her zampakuto and maybe survive Kensei.

The blinding fear had overwhelmed her, but no matter how much Kensei attacked her, she couldn't attack him back. She couldn't bring herself to raise her sword against him. He was… too precious. She would help him, save him, if it was the last thing she did.

Her eyes hardened with determination and the next thing she saw was his fist, piercing her abdomen. She couldn't feel pain, and for that she was grateful, but she could feel something foreign running through her veins. It burned away at her.

Suddenly, she jerked awake, tears running down her face, sobs welling up in her chest. That had been the worst feeling in the world, she mused. The feeling that she was being burned away slowly, being manipulated into doing something she didn't want to do; fighting against her comrades without any say in anything.

The green haired girl clutched at her abdomen (more like the scar that now adorned her creamy abdomen) and cursed that convict who brought back the nightmares. They haven't been this bad since the transformation. Though she should count her blessings; she didn't wake up screaming and clawing at her face as she had before on countless occasions.

Wanting nothing more but to wash away the evidence of her sadness, she walked into her bathroom and removed all of the incriminating evidence.

If she kept this up, she might get rid of the dreams soon.

Maybe.

…

.

..

.

"Hi everyone~!" Mashiro greeted, walking into the kitchen. The occupants just groaned back at her as she skipped around to get her cup of coffee sitting next to Kensei. She smiled quickly, silently thanking him for the coffee (liquid sugar as he called it), and she skipped out of the kitchen to the roof.

Climbing the stairs, she fought away the memories and her dream. She hated how much one little incident could affect her. All Mayuri had done was cut out a chunk of her skin! Tessai even fixed it for her! She glared at the ground and clutched at the new scar adorning her abdomen.

Finally reaching her destination, she took a deep breath of the vast supply of fresh air and sat against the wall closest to her. She put her cup down and looked at Karakura Town. She had a really nice view, if she did say so herself.

She took a loud sip from her cup and smiled. Kensei always knew how she liked her coffee and no matter how many times he lectured her on how it was going to cause her teeth to rot off, he still had a cup waiting for her when she arrived in the kitchen. She always argues that no, her teeth wouldn't rot off because, hellooo~, she's a super hero.

A small smiled found itself on her face as she remembered those days, erasing the bad memories from her mind.

She set down the now empty green mug and watched the town wake up. She could see business men walk to work and students rush out of their house. Somewhere in her mind, she remembered Shinji doing the same and Hiyori hitting his face with her flip-flop for being late.

"Hey." She was quickly torn out of her musings by a deep male voice. Without turning to look, she knew who that was. She mentally berated herself for not noticing him earlier as she put on a bright smile. She looked up at him and patted the space next to her, telling him to sit.

In his typical Kensei manner, he unceremoniously flopped down and looked out onto the town.

"You weren't at breakfast." He said simply. She saw him glance at her from the corner of his eye and back out into the town.

She forced a laugh and smiled at him, "Silly Kensei, I'm not hungry." She replied.

"Mashiro. You're always hungry." He countered, turning his body so that he was facing her directly. She could feel his gaze scrutinize her and she was glad she had completed her morning routine. She took a deep breath and turned her body to face him.

Before she could say anything, he spoke again.

"I heard you screaming last night." Always the blunt one, she mused. She looked down and formulated a way out of her predicament. She couldn't lie, Kensei knew her better than anyone and could tell when she was lying, which only left evasion.

"You sure it was me? I mean, Hiyori has been sick and I'm sure she could be yelling in the middle of the night. You know how she is with her temper. I tell her not to strain herself yet she still does it. You remember how she slapped Shinji with her flip flop the other day and then started coughing? I thought she might cough up a lung! I mean –"

The gray haired man interrupted her animated ramblings with a sigh, "I know what you sound like Mashiro. It was you."

She immediately shut up and looked at the ground. If she could kill with her eyes, boy would that roof would have a gaping hole in it.

"Kensei-" She tried to explain before she was interrupted once more. Damn, he's on a roll today, she thought silently.

"What did the bastard do to you?" He asked, looking at willing her to tell him everything. Mashiro was really tempted to tell him. Really, really tempted.

She stayed silent for a couple minutes, weighing the pros and cons of telling Kensei before she opened her mouth to explain.

"He dragged me to his lab and cut out a chunk of my abdomen." She said quietly, hoping that he wouldn't over react.

"He what?" His voice was tight with controlled anger, glaring at her abdomen. He got to his feet and paced.

At a loss of what to do, Mashiro got up and watched him pace.

"Show me." He demanded, his eyes telling her that he wasn't going to take no for an answer. Her mind suddenly flashed her dream and she fought to keep herself from flinching back from him.

She sighed deeply and ignored his gaze as she lifted her sleeping shirt to show him her pink scar. A small line traveled from her belly button to her hip bone. She watched him raise his finger and trace it and the emotions dance on his face.

He removed his hand and snarled loudly, hitting the wall with his closed fist. Not being able to restrain herself, she jumped back and before she could stop it, a small whimper escaped her lips.

As if cold water was dumped on him, Kensei froze and watched her.

"Did… did you just flinch away from me?" He asked. If she didn't know better, she would say that he sounded hurt.

"I…" There was no use in denying it but… she didn't mean to.

"Mashiro… You know I'd never hurt you. Right?" He whispered, looking straight into her eyes. He took a hesitant step toward her and she stood her ground. It took everything in her not to look away. His eyes… she could always read them, but now, they seemed as if he was pleading. Kensei never pleads.

"Silly Kensei. Of course I know that." She replied, breaking their eye contact and looking once more at the ground.

"You were having a nightmare, weren't you?" He asked, raising his hand to touch her but dropped it before it made contact.

Her shoulders slumped down and she leaned into his chest. She silently nodded and she knew he would understand. He knew what she was talking about. Kensei understood her silent request and he enveloped her in a hug.

"I swear, nothing like that will ever happen again. Ever." He harshly whispered into her ear, tightening his hold on her. The resolve in those words was practically tangible, and she knew she was safe.

"I know, Kensei. I know." She said through his shirt. She could hear his heart, steady and strong, and smell him. She inhaled deeply, appreciating the mixture of cologne and just... Kensei, that she felt herself lean completely against him.

He sat down and she curled up into him. It was times like these where Mashiro was reminded why she loved him so much. He had such a big heart and kind soul that anyone was lucky to meet him. He was gruff on the outside, but once you knew him… That's when you really meet him.

The green haired girl smiled and shifted herself so that she was practically in his lap and her face was in the crook of his neck. She breathed him in and relaxed fully.

His heart did a funny thud-dump and he drew in a deep breath.

"Kensei?" She asked, curious as to his reaction.

He stiffened a little before letting out the breath that he was holding. "Uh.. you really shouldn't do that Mashiro." He said, looking away from her.

"But Kensei~!" She complained loudly, in her typical Mashiro way.

"Damn it, Mashiro! Would it kill you to do as I asked? For once in your life!" He exclaimed, frustration evident in his tone.

Mashiro flinched at the harshness of his words and looked away. She chastised herself almost immediately as she felt his gaze on her once more. She knew that he was usually like this and she really shouldn't take his words seriously but….

She felt him tighten his hold on her, inadvertently bringing her closer to him, and sigh deeply.

"Sorry, it's just that if you do that… well… you won't like the results. Okay?" He spoke into her hair.

She felt her throat tighten, and she hid her face once more in his neck.

"You assume too much Kensei." She said, completely forgetting the warning he had given her just a few seconds ago.

She felt his growl more than heard as he grabbed her chin, not hard but forcefully, and she was looking into his eyes.

"Don't. Do. That." He said, his voice tight once more with an unknown emotion. She couldn't exactly concentrate with his face so close to hers, and his breath was really distracting her.

"Right…" She replied, her lips brushing against his.

She watched as his eyes glazed over when her lips brushed his and he whispered a curse before capturing her lips with his. She sat there shocked, eyes wide staring at him.

He released her lips the second he felt her freeze and looked away. His hold on her loosened and he cleared his throat.

"Sorry." He grunted out, as her brain decided to function once more and she understood what the hell just happened.

Now it was her turn to grab his chin, forcing him to look at her straight in the eyes.

"Don't apologize." She said before kissing him. His lips were still for all but five seconds as his grip tightened on her and he responded to her kiss. She let her arms loop around his neck and bring him closer to herself.

She could swear her heart was about to jump out of her chest at the pace it was at. She opened her mouth, inviting him, and they both let out appreciating sounds.

By the time they separated, she was straddling his lap and he had a hand in her hair with the other at the small of her back. They were pressed together as close as possible and she could have sworn their hearts were beating at the same time.

She rested her forehead on his and couldn't help but giggle.

"That was nice…" She whispered, a smile on her face.

"God, I really love you, you know that?" He said, his eyes locked on hers.

To her complete horror, her eyes filled with tears and she gave him a watery smile.

"H-hey… don't cry!" He exclaimed. "It's not something to cry over! Don't cry…"

A small giggle escaped her lips once more and she pressed a kiss to his lips.

"These are happy tears Kensei. I love you too, silly." She explained as soon as her lips were free.

"Whatever. Just don't cry. Okay?" He said, shifting her so that she was sitting in his lap with her feet hanging off this thigh.

She smiled happily, "Okay." She replied softly, placing her head back at the crook of his neck and cuddling closer to him.

A small smile played at Kensei's lips as he tightened his hold on her small frame. He pressed a kiss into his hair and they watched Karakura wake up.

Now they could move forward with their lives, together.

~Fin~

note2: hate the ending, but what else is new. What did you guys think? REVIEW~ Please?