Japan was reading over the requests for funding from his top scientists when he ran across something that drew his sudden, intense interest. Is this for real? he wondered. Considering the many utterly bizarre proposals he'd seen before, he had to assume it was. Then he was struck by the possible uses he could put such a product to, and he knew he had to investigate this scientist's work personally.

"So, you believe that there will be a use for this product in the future?" he asked the scientist in a soft serious voice. "Oh, yes. Japan has so little land suitable for raising animals for meat that if, in the future, we wish to eat meat, then we will have to have many appropiate substitutes. Not everyone can eat wheat gluten, and some find soy protein by itself problematic. And, this meat substitute is nutritionally complete."

Japan examined the detailed charts, observed the process, and finally sampled the product. He had to admit, tasting it gave him a little thrill. And it was rather tasty.

"Do you think you could make a hamburger out of this? I have a friend that I would like to try it." Japan asked very politely while signing the release for full funding of the scientist's work. "Of course. It would be my pleasure." Yes, and mine too, thought the nation of Japan with a secret little smile.

The next day Germany got a call. "Hallo? Oh, it's nice to hear from you Japan. What can I help you with?" The German's prominent brow furrowed at the uncharacteristic sound of Japan giggling. "I would like very much to invite you to a small get together at my house. It's today at two o'clock. America will be coming too. I've invented a new hamburger I want him to try." Germany stared doubtfully at the phone. Is this some kind of prank? "Japan, I know you dislike me being so direct, but are you drunk, or is this some kind of joke?" Japan giggled again and merely said, "You know I don't play jokes on you Germany. I think the joke is on someone else..." Germany absorbed that idea and a slow, wicked smirk spread across his face. "I'll be there."

America arrived at Japan's peaceful and secluded home a little late. He found Japan and Germany waiting for him with three identical hamburgers. "Ah, it's good to see you again Alfred. I already explained the process by which these hamburgers were made to Germany-san. I'll have to tell you after we sample them, otherwise they will get cold." Japan gestured gracefully for America to take a seat at the table. "Well, it's true that a hamburger is better hot, so we better dig in guys! I'm starving!" America picked up the burger. It seems just as heavy as usual. I wonder what Japan did different?

After eating so many hamburgers in his life, he had begun to enjoy sampling the many different varieties of hamburger found at restaurants and fast food chains around the world, as well as vegetarian burgers. Besides beef burgers, he'd had burgers made of bison, kangaroo, ostrich, alligator, pork, soy, tempeh, quorn, as well as an intricate dish composed of layers of ground sirloin, foie gras, and wine-braised short ribs, assembled to look exactly like a fast-food burger. But none of them seemed to quite hit the same place in him as a good ole' all American beef hamburger. Despite this, he was always excited and flattered to try another country's attempt to improve on perfection.

First he smelled it. It smelled pretty good, except for the usual soy sauce flavor that seemed to permeate all of Japan. "Mmm! Smells good! I'd give it a...seven." He looked up at the two countries sitting across from him. What's with the intense look in Germany's eye? He looks even more creepy serious than usual. And Japan is smiling. He looks like a hyper chihuahua about to go for a walk. What the hell! "Hey, aren't you guys going to eat?" He said, stopping just as he was about to take the first bite.