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Summary- Special #5: Roy Mustang

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The day I met Riza Hawkeye was the day my life truly began. It started out slow. She didn't trust easily and it took a long time before she would even look at me. To her I was just another stupid kid trying to learn alchemy. As time went on I became so curious about her. She was an enigma and I just had to learn more about her. It got to the point where I was focusing more on how to get her to talk to me than my studies.

Eventually though I got her and from then she quickly became one of the most important people in the world to me. I learned about her past, about her father's student before me, the more I learned the more I wanted to know. As a young girl she was pretty and as she grew older she became more beautiful, but that didn't even matter. She was brilliant, she was studious, she was everything I wanted.

It's kind of funny how she became my distraction from my studies and at the same time she made sure I actually studied. It was a paradox. If she hadn't been there I might have focused more on my studies, but she was also the one to keep me on track. All I know is that I didn't care. As long as she was near I was content.

When I made the decision to go to the military it near killed me to be away from her so much. The day I left she tried to keep her face expressionless, but I could see the hurt. I knew I was hurting her, but I had to go. She was my reason for joining in the first place. I saw the way the world was and I wanted to make it better for her. Also if I got my State Certification then I could afford to take her away from that dreary house with the ghost of a man that was her father.

Back then I had every intention of marrying her. Any time I pictured my future she was there right beside me. Sometimes I would imagine how our children would look.

After her father died I wanted to ask her to come with me then, but knew that I had no way to support her yet. When she showed me her father's notes I almost became physically ill. I had little respect for him before that because of how he treated her, but upon seeing that tattoo I hated him. Initially I didn't want to take the notes, knowing the pain they had caused her, but she convinced me to saying that she didn't want to have suffered for nothing. So I took it and mastered it and went on to take my State Exam. I hated to leave her again, but I just couldn't take her with me yet.

After passing the exam I went back to that old house, this time fully intending to take her with me. However when I got to the house no one was home. When she didn't answer the door I let myself in, I still had my key from the years I lived there. When I went in the first thing I noticed was the thin layer of dust on the table by the front door. I then walked to the sitting room, where we used to play and study, but all of the furniture was covered by white sheets. I ran all throughout the house looking for her. I was starting to panic when I saw a piece of paper on the dining room table. I instantly recognized Riza's elegant script. It was a note for me, telling me that she had left with little intention of returning. She said not to worry, that she was fine, and she would send me a letter to Madame Christmas' bar when she was able.

I didn't know what to do. I knew that she wouldn't have told anyone in town where she was going and she gave no indication in her letter. I decided to stay at the house for a few day. I used my alchemy to fix the place up a bit, so if she ever did come back it would be in better shape than she left it. Eventually I had to head back to Central before I got in trouble for not reporting in. I may have been a State Alchemist, but I was still a soldier and I had to go.

While I was in Central awaiting orders I searched everywhere I could for her. I tried not to let anyone know what I was up to, not even Hughes knew about her. Every time I was out walking I would watch for her blonde hair, I would look at every woman who passed by me hoping it would be her. But I never found her. I didn't see her again for three years, and when I finally did find her it was the last place I would have ever expected her to be, a place I had wished for her to never know of.

The day I saw her by that campfire the Ishval I felt the world end. This beautiful, wonderful, loving woman I had grown up with now had her hands stained in blood. I hated myself for her being there. I knew that it was my stupid ramblings by her father's graveside that brought her there. That haunted look, those killer's eyes, the dirt that covered her face, it was all my fault.

I couldn't go near her, I didn't want for her to see what I had done. But eventually my need to be near her won. We started spending more time together when we were off duty. I always made sure Hughes was with us to avoid any suspicion. We talked as if we had never met before. I couldn't let anyone know about our shared past. If someone found out and learned that her father was my teacher then they might go after her for the secrets to flame alchemy. I couldn't let that happen. I could not let anyone else have that destructive force, I couldn't let anyone else have her.

I decided that I would watch out for her. Even when she was on duty I followed her and kept silent watch over her. The first time I had done it without thinking, but after that I went every day I wasn't sent out myself. I sat and watched over her, protecting her in the only way I could.

I will admit to using my influence a bit to keep her out of active combat. There were a few times when the colonel or general wanted to send her out. I sited her marksmanship as to why we needed to keep her out of the open. Even fresh out of the academy she was the best sharpshooter in our camp, if not the whole military. So she was at least kept out of the thick of it all, it was a hollow victory, but at the time I would accept it.

When the war finally ended I was so relieved, knowing that she would be safe. Then she asked me to do something truly monstrous. She asked me to burn her back. I agreed that there could be no more flame alchemists, but I couldn't hurt her like that. But she begged me and I knew there was no way around it. This would be my punishment for the atrocities I committed. I had killed so many and made so many watch as their loved ones burned to death, not I was going to have to watch as the woman I loved was burned by my own hand.

Actually going through with it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I couldn't do it alone so Riza allowed me to call in Hughes and Dr. Knox. They helped me get everything ready and after it was done they helped take care of her. I can still hear her screams echoing in the back of my mind.

As she was healing I learned that she was staying in the military, even after everything she had gone through. I was being promoted and sent to East City, so I quickly worked to ensure she was part of my team. If I was going to make it to the top and make the country better I would need someone I could trust right next to me. She trusted me with her back and I betrayed her, now I was going to trust her with my back and if she betrayed me than it would be no less than what I deserved.

She is my most trusted, my most precious person. She is more than a subordinate to me and she knows it. What she doesn't know is that she is more than half the reason for my rush to the top. Once I reach the top she can finally rest. She could retire and live a more normal life. Most importantly, once I accomplish my goal we could finally have a chance to be together. I may not deserve her after everything I've done, but if that's what makes her happy then I will move mountains to see it done.

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A/N: There it is the final chapter. After working on this for almost four years I have to say it's a little bittersweet. I will admit to shedding a few tears right now. This has been an amazing experience for me, and I want to thank everyone who has joined me for this ride. And now with this project's completion I can move on to some of my other works that I have been neglecting. I hope you will all check out my other stuff and you can expect more from me soon. Thank you all. Goodbye.

The End.

Oh and P.S. my family has never been better.