Emily just finished washing her face for bed when her cell phone rang. As she looked at the object she felt a strong desire to chuck it across the room.
"Please don't be a case," she muttered when she saw 'Hotch' lit up on the screen. "Prentiss," she answered swiftly. Emily pulled the device away from her ear, when no one answered, to check that the call was active. "Hotch?" she asked. "Are you there?"
"I need your help," Hotch mumbled. "Can you come over please? Now?"
Emily arched an eyebrow. The tone of his voice told her that she had to go. Something was wrong. Hotch never called unless there was a reason. "Of course. Is everything alright?"
"Just hurry," Hotch stated before he hung up and sent Emily into a panic.
She quickly ran and shoved her feet in some flip flops, grabbed her keys and ran out of her apartment. It took her seven minutes to arrive at his place, and she quickly made her way up the steps to his place. She knocked with force and her heart dropped as she saw the anguish in his eyes once he swung the door open.
"Hotch what's wrong?" Emily asked as he quickly took a hold of her arm and pulled her inside. Once inside she heard wailing coming from down the hall. "Is that Jack?" she wondered out loud as she unconsciously moved closer to the sound. "What happened?"
"I can't get him so stop crying. I've tried everything. He's been like that for an hour. I can't take it and I don't know what to do," he rushed on quickly. "Help me," he begged slightly as he ran a hand through his hair in stress. If Emily couldn't help he had no idea what else to do.
"I got it," she told him as she headed towards Jack's room, leaving Hotch alone in the living room feeling useless.
Emily knocked on the door before her then quickly stepped inside. She felt her heart break as she saw the young boy lying on his stomach clutching onto his pillow for dear life with his face buried into it as he cried. "Oh baby, what's wrong?" she asked as she made her way over and laid down next to the small boy who continued to cry like she wasn't even there. She ran her hand soothingly along his back.
Jack continued to cry. "I need you to calm down sweetie," she told him softly, "you're going to make yourself sick." Emily realized he wasn't going to calm down so she pulled the small boy into her arms and rocked him back and forth all the while praying her actions would make him relax.
"I miss my mommy," he cried out as he clutched onto Emily's shirt and buried his face in her chest.
"I know you do baby," she told him as she continued to rock. "Is that why you're crying?" she asked softly then felt him nod against her.
Emily closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She knew what it was like to be young and never have her mother around but she always knew her mother would come back. Jack no longer had that as an option for him.
"Your mom is always with you baby. She is always looking down and protecting you." Jack started to calm down at her words. "Your mom loved you more than anything in this entire world and I know for certain that she would not want you to cry like this. Do you know what she loved?" Emily asked and waited for Jack to shake his head. "She loved your smile and your laugh. So everyday you should do those two things for her and every time you do, you can remember her."
Jack pulled back and looked at Emily. "Do you think she's mad at me?"
"Why would she be mad at you?" Emily quickly wiped his tear stained face and saw his bottom lip pop out.
"Because I didn't protect her from the bad guy," Jack squeaked.
Emily's heart broke at his words and she quickly sat up and pulled Jack onto her lap. "Never. I want you to listen to me. You had nothing to do with that, and I never want you to think that you did. Your mom loved you so much. She will always love you. Never forget that."
Jack leaned against Emily and played with her hands. "I love you Emmy," he whispered.
"I love you too honey. Do you feel better?" Jack nodded against her. "Good. You know sometimes all we need is a good cry and a good night's sleep. Are you ready to go to bed?"
"Will you tuck me in?" Jack sniffled.
"Of course," Emily said with a smile and she did just that. "Sleep tight sweetie," she whispered as she placed a gentle kiss on his forehead then headed for the living room.
Emily looked around the room but it was empty. "Hotch?" she called out softly. She looked in the kitchen. Empty as well. She looked down the hallway and saw his bedroom door was closed but the light was on so she made her way to the door and knocked.
"Hotch?" No response. She tried again. "Hotch?" Silence. Deciding to throw caution to the wind, she pushed the door open slowly and peeked inside.
Hotch was perched on the edge of his bed with his back towards her and Emily shut the door behind her. As she moved closer she realized his whole body was shaking and he was crying silently.
"Hotch," she whispered as she quickly made her way over and kneeled on the bed beside him and pulled him into a sideways hug. Her hand ran through his hair and she tried not to think that the strongest man she has ever known was crying in her arms. "Shh," she said soothingly as she rocked them slightly. Hotch's hand came up and rested on Emily's forearm and held her in place. "What's wrong?" Emily finally asked.
After a minute of silence as he continued to cry, Hotch finally caught his breath enough to answer her. "I'm a horrible father."
Emily's eyes widened in shock. "What are you talking about?"
"I-I couldn't even g-get my own son to stop c-crying. I'm the w-worst father in t-the world."
Emily couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was he serious? Did he really think that? She decided then and there that she was going to have to set this man straight. "Look at me," she instructed. When he ignored her, she grabbed his face in her hands and made him look at her. "You are the farthest thing in the world away from a horrible father. You are amazing and Jack adores you. He wants to be you. He looks up to you. You are his hero." When Hotch blinked she continued. "Don't think I forgot about his Halloween costume. He loves you, so much Hotch. You know he'd do anything in this world for you. Don't doubt how amazing you are. Don't sit and wonder how things could have been different. Embrace who you are and love it, like your beautiful son does. You. Are. Amazing."
Hotch hiccupped and nodded his head. He knew she was right. Jack did love him. "He didn't want me today," he told her with sadness lacing his tone. "I didn't know what to do or what to say, but then you come over and he stops crying in ten minutes. Emily I couldn't even calm my own son down. I was completely useless."
"You are not useless," she snapped. "Stop thinking of yourself that way. You called me didn't you?" Hotch nodded. "Then you weren't useless. You may not have been able to calm him down but you got him someone that you thought could. There is nothing wrong with that. He just needed someone with boobs, that's all."
Emily ran her hand soothingly through his short hair then down his back. "You're a great father," she told him again and Hotch leaned against her and welcomed the arms she wrapped around him.
"This is why I called you," he confessed.
"Why?" Emily wondered out loud.
"Because you have a great way with kids and I knew you'd be able to soothe him with just your hug."
Emily couldn't help the chuckle that left her lips. "Man I should start charging for my hugs if they're able to cure tears," she smiled. "In fact I'll send you the bill," she joked and she felt Hotch smile against her. "Are you feeling better?"
"Yes, thank you. For everything. I know it's not in your job description, but I do appreciate it."
Emily continued to rub his back calmly. "It may not be in my job description Hotch but it is in my friend description. I'd do anything for you two, you know that. So don't ever hesitate to call if you need anything. Because that's what friends are for."
Hotch wrapped his arms tighter around her waist and nodded his head in agreement. That is what friends are for and she is his friend. And as they sat on his bed with their arms around each other, he couldn't help but hope that maybe one day they could be more than friends. In the end, only time would tell.