Hey guys, thanks so much for the reviews. Sorry this took me a while to write, I have been working on another Castle Fan Fiction which is a lot of fun but a little distracting! Hope you enjoy this chapter in Castle's POV, please leave a review so I know what you do/don't like and what I am good at/need to improve on!

**Chapter 3**

Adrenaline coursed through Castle's veins, seriously depriving him of logical, clear thinking thought and reason. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt when his hyperactive mind registered Esposito at the door. He was really enjoying teaching Josh a lesson, putting him in his place. Though the thought did cross his mind that he should probably feel guilty about enjoying beating the crap out of his partner's boyfriend. He managed to maintain a small amount of decency by not smiling at the fact that he likely contributed to the end of Beckett's and Doctor Motorcycle Boy's relationship. Something hard hit the side of his face and he swore. So when Beckett turned her back to them to open the door Castle managed to return one last punch and ensured it was a good one. He remembered being told once to never hit a man with a closed fist, but he had to admit that on occasion it was hilarious.

But now the apartment was quiet and the adrenaline has subsided, leaving in its stead a hollow emptiness, not to mention a sharp pounding in his head and a throbbing hand. He observed Beckett leaning absently against her door. It was obvious to Castle that she was in another headspace, she appeared deep in thought, her eyes taking on a distant look, asking not to be disturbed.

Examining her lounge room he saw the evidence of his and Josh's little…disagreement, and felt the guilt he had denied earlier. Berating himself for getting so carried away, he wondered at his lack of self-control. He was not the fighting type, not physical fighting anyway, words being mightier than swords and all that. Yet Josh had managed to bring out this side of him, this side that caused him to lose it so quickly, that caused him to get so angry he genuinely wanted to hurt Josh, that caused him to ignore all reason and that blurred lines of rationale.

Her lounge was a mess, he had no idea at which point of the fight the lamp table had been upturned, but now it lay on its side with its occupants strewn across the floor around it. Slowly he bent to right the table and returned the lamp and a couple of framed photos to its wooden top. Childishly he bumped the fallen photo of Beckett and Josh under the couch with the toe of his foot, maybe she wouldn't notice. As if punishment for his juvenile behaviour, his head pounded its protest to his moving and his hand continued to throb harshly.

Not yet sure how Beckett was feeling towards him, however deciding they couldn't remain like this all day, he hesitantly broke the heavy silence that had befallen the room, "Umm, Beckett? Do you have any ice?" He watched her thoughts crash back to reality as she jump at being addressed. He waved of her apology, though he wasn't sure whether she was apologising for spacing out on him or for Josh, probably both.

She was suddenly very close, and like it had been these past few months, her close proximity sent his pulse racing. He vaguely thought to himself how this was beginning to be a real problem. Since the undercover kiss they had shared, whenever she got too close, or just close enough, he had found himself overwhelmed by her presence. Overwhelmed by the soft aroma of cherries that was Kate Beckett, by the way her hair fell in soft waves, framing her face and by the way the green of her eyes changed depth depending on the light and her mood, threatening to drown him. And here, now, as she gently brushed her soft hand across his hurting face, he was certain he felt sparks emanating from her fingertips, flowing through his skin, warming him, sending his heart beating erratically leaving his mouth dry. He pulled back as though burned before he lost himself in the feel of her skin against his.

"Stings a bit," lame he thought, mentally kicking himself.

He would have paid any amount to have the smallest insight into Beckett's thoughts as she silently iced his face with a bag of peas from her freezer. Was she mad with him? Did she blame him for the fight? Was she upset about Josh leaving? He waited for her to yell, cry or shoot him, the suspense was killing him. Just to get a reaction he asked if the bruising was going to look cool. When she rolled her eyes in way of a response, he felt instantly better, classic Beckett, he thought to himself, finally content with just sitting quietly.

Castle hoped Beckett didn't notice him cringe when he heard her phone sound from her bedroom. If that's Josh, he thought, unable to finish the threat in his own head. He held his breath, waiting for her to return. He found himself selfishly hoping that this would be the end of Beckett and Josh. He knew it was wrong to wish such a thing for his partner, but surely she would see that Josh was no good for her, how much more she deserved. He had never liked Josh, though he admitted he may have ulterior motives that made his judgement of Beckett's boyfriends somewhat bias. But now, now he had good reason to…dislike him. Beckett was smart, he was confident she would not be able to overlook the fact that Josh obviously had a short fuse which, when ignited resulted in an explosive bad temper, surely a mark in the 'con' column. He wondered suddenly if Beckett knew about Josh's temper, if she had seen it before. His fists clenched to think of Beckett being on the receiving end of his rage, and hoped that, like for himself, this fight had been a once off occurrence for Josh.

Beckett returned to the lounge, phone in hand, "Josh?" Castle queried. His shoulders relaxed at the shake of her head.

"Esposito is bringing Lanie around." Castle nodded, relieved. It would be good for Beckett to have her friend with her. And again with the ulterior motive, he knew Lanie was an advocate for the establishment of a more personal relationship between Castle and Beckett. Maybe she would encourage her to forget about Josh.

Castle noticed Beckett shift uncomfortably next to him, and realised he had been sitting in silence with his thoughts for a couple of minutes. He studied her blank expression, her face wasn't giving any clues as to her inner turmoil. Yet again Castle felt the guilt…he had caused her turmoil.

"Beckett? I'm really sorry. I should have listened when you told me to leave…I didn't realise…" he trailed off lamely, frustrated that the words weren't coming, as so often was the case when he was with her.

"It's not your fault Castle. He had no right to fire up like that." She said, placing the cold peas back on his face. She was there again, so close. He stared intently into her eyes, trying to see the moment she would notice his rapid heartbeat, the moment when she would notice his breathing quicken and shallow. He tried to look away as once again he felt himself beginning to get lost in the intense gaze she met his with, but it was too late, he was lost.

"I would have." He heard himself say, would have what? He wondered to himself as she echoed his thoughts.

"Would have what?"

"I would have been mad, if you were my girlfriend I mean. Of course I would trust you, but…" What are you doing? He thought furiously to himself, shut up!

"But what?" Castle heard how defensive she sounded, and knew she hadn't understood his meaning, "but what, Castle?" she asked again, when he remained silent, frantically trying to gather his thoughts and sting some words together in a coherent sentence. But instead…

He sighed, "But you're a lot to lose." And with that, Castle's mind went blank.

Beckett was staring at him, really staring, as though trying to read every corner of his mind, trying to piece together what he really meant and wanted to say. If he thought his heart was beating fast before, it was nothing compared to now, as his hand slowly moved to cover the one of hers she still rested on his face. He felt her pulse quickening too and willed her to feel his. As far as he was concerned, she had never looked so beautiful as she did standing before him there, the way she allowed his hand to stay on hers, the way she looked at him, almost puzzled, the way she leaned into him so slightly, almost without even noticing, no she had never looked more extraordinary. A devastatingly timed knocking on her apartment door brought Castle crashing back to the reality, "Esplanie," he sighed.

Hope you liked, please review!