Title: Calling Out For Help

Couple: Sam/Andy

Rating: T, mild language and may have some adult themes later.

Part: 1 of 2 maybe more depending on reviews

Pages: 7

Spoilers: season 2 episodes 1-7

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue… Wish I did.. :D

Summary: Sometimes a person's ego gets in the way. What will happen when Andy's gets in the way of her calling out for help?

Author note 1: This has no beta and from previous reviews I have looked over this thing for many days trying to catch all my grammar and or spelling errors… So for those of you who think mean unconstructive criticism helps writers grow here is a quote from my favorite movie….. "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all". On that note, enjoy the story and please review! :D

Calling Out For Help

Driving home with Traci in her old VW, the rotation of the tires, the sound of Traci's voice, it all became too much. I had to tell her, tell her that my fiancée, well I guess ex-fiancée now, had cheated on me. Cheated on me with the one woman that he told me wasn't even an option for him. The same woman who had left him down on one knee for a better job hours away; the woman who claimed she was the one that "got away"; the woman who broke his heart like he broke mine.

After listing to Traci trying to hide her feelings of sorrow for me with monotonous talk of clean sheets on a couch pull out, I knew I had to tell her. Sam already knew, how many other people could read me just as easily? Was I seriously that open that I was just a book waiting for someone to ask the right questions, or say the right things to get me to spill my beans out for the world to see? No! I was not that type of girl. I was the girl whose fiancée cheated on her with the woman who broke his heart years ago, the woman whose fiancée tried to buy her with a spa day, a future life together and flowers even….. a wedding.

A wedding.

Would he have ever told me after we got married? How could he ever cheat on his future wife, and then still want to get married? Obviously he doesn't have those kinds of feelings for me or he wouldn't have cheated, with her of all people.

She was the type of person I tried to avoid my entire life. The perfect blond girls, the blazer that fits just right, the expensive jeans, she just screamed rich detective.

I finally pulled myself out of my thoughts to notice that tears had start to race down my face. One and then two and then the two multiplied into a pool of water washing away the salty tracks of the previous tears shed over the events earlier in the day, and earlier in the week.

"Luke slept with Jo." I say in my hoarse voice, cracking with every breath I take and ever word I say. Feeling that pain of the utter betrayal seep back into my voice and into my mind after I spent hours trying to hide the crushing pain my shattered heart held.

I see Traci turn her head to me slightly, still keeping her eyes on the damp roads ahead of the car. "I know" she whispers back in a sad voice, unable to hide her sorrow anymore. She lays her hand on my knee, to let me know she is here for me.

"I'm just so tired." I hear myself say after her answer comes.

Tired

Not sleepy tired, but tired from hiding things from my friends, my fellow rookies. Tired from trying to not allow the crushing pain consume me. Tired from trying to pretend that Luke and I were just taking a break and not the dysfunctional relationship we had become. Tired of hiding emotions from everyone that I know and from anyone that asks. Tired of trying to be something I'm not. Tired of trying to be this great cop that I know I'm not ever going to be. Tired from hiding from Sam, that one I was sick of the most.

The rest of the car ride was filled with my sobs, allowing myself to feel the pain for once in the days since finding out about Jo and Luke. Every now and then Traci would try to sooth me, but I knew she understood that I just needed to cry. Something I try not to allow myself to do.

It was allow a sign of weakness to me. Ever since my mom left I told myself I would not cry anymore. Nobody was worth my tears, and that nobody was worth that kind of time. I broke this rule once again, one of many times over the past year.

When we pull up to Traci's house I hear her voice once again, "Andy were at my house, come on sweetie let's get you inside and settled in."

I get out and grab my bag of things that I grabbed from Luke's house, waiting for the day when I find my own place again and get the rest of my things from Luke. I was starting to miss my possessions. Before walking up the stairs to Traci's apartment I feel her arms go around me, trying to comfort me. I wrap my arms around her and just cry on her shoulder. She whispers soft calming words in my ear, and then pulls away to walk up the stairs and unlock the door and leads me into her tiny apartment.

Once we get deeper into the apartment we are met by a barely awake Leo, and Traci's mom picking up the little boy to put him to sleep. She smiles at us while heading to get Leo to bed. Traci took my bag and told me to go take a shower and she would get the pull out ready. I was grateful for the few minutes alone a shower would allow me to have.

Once I locked the bathroom door I pull a towel out and set it on the sink and then go to start the water warming for my shower. I start tugging my clothing off only to look at my neck in the mirror. There are no bruises, no marks left from the attempted strangulation but I could still feel his cold murdering hands wrapped around my neck fidgeting with ever breath he took.

I quickly pull myself from the dark thoughts clouding my mind and step over to the shower to test the water temperature. Feeling the warmth hit my hand I step in and pull the curtain close, allowing myself to wash the day away and loose myself to my complicated thoughts. Letting my mind wonder I began to lose track of time. The deep breathes I take are filled with steam slowly lulling me into a trance, forgetting I was standing under scalding water that normally should have burn my skin. With every drop of scalding water falling to my skin, it ripped away the feeling of his cold hands wrapped around my small neck.

A couple quick knocks pull me out of the lull I'm in and Traci's voice pulls me further out of my foggy mind frame.

"Andy are you ok? You've been in there for 45 minutes!"

Hearing the amount of time I spent under the shower hot spray I shut the water off and send out a quick reply to Traci.

"Yea, I'm fine, just got lost in my thoughts. I'll be out in 5!"

"Ok, I'll wait in the living room."

Drying off my wet skin I slow began to pull on my jeans and shirt, silently curing myself for not bring my pjs in with me. Opening the door I see a plume of steam billow out into the cold air of the hallway, following me as I walked the short amount of hallway there was leading into the spacious living room.

The sound of my wet feet slapping against the hardwood floors alerted Traci at my arrival in the room, and she quickly stood and gave me the run down for the night.

"Ok, well we got the bed set up. If you need more blankets just come get me at and I will get you some, same with needing more pillows. Leo might get up early but I'll try to keep him quite for you in the morning to allow you some sleep. "

All I can do is smile at her, sending her a thank you before she left.

"Thank you Traci, I don't know what I would do without you." Traci just smiles at me before laying her hand on my upper arm.

"You are more than welcome. What are best friends for? We'll get you through this Andy, and then we'll figure out how to get some great revenge on Jo and Luke."

I can't help but laugh at her revenge thoughts on Jo and Luke. While it sounds wonderful to get revenge, I really didn't want to drop down to that level, or better known as their level. Traci leaves to go to her room down the hall soon after, allowing me to slip into the cold sheets trying to forget about the day, about Ray Nixon, Luke, Jo, and Sam. The last name only brings more thoughts to my mind.

Sam.

He said he would always have my back, but he didn't today. He left me to go find out if my gut was right on my own. Wasn't he the one allows yelling at me to trust and follow m gut? Seems kind of hypocritical, ditching me when I tried to follow his teachings, but at least Luke found me. Could have been worse, just wish it was Sam who found me, not Luke.

With those last thoughts I allow myself to slip into oblivion, to sleep away my fears, and hopefully my dreams.

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Sleep was easy to get to however staying asleep was a different topic all together. I would wake up from nightmares of Nixon's hands tightening on my throat suffocating me, causing me to jolt awake to make sure it was just that…. A nightmare.

Around ten at night I hear Traci come in to check on me, and thinking I was asleep, get something from the kitchen. I heard her phone ring. Causing Traci to curse and run around the apartment as silently as she could trying to find the offending phone before it woke up the entire house.

"Hello?" I hear her out-of-breath voice quietly answering.

"Hey Jerry! No I'm trying not to wake up Andy and Leo."

"Yea she is staying here for awhile."

"I don't know how long Jerry, as long as she needs, or wants to stay."

I silently lay in bed listening to Traci's side of the conversation, wishing I could hear Jerry's side as well.

"Honestly, I don't think she's doing so well. She's been asleep for about 2 hours, but I keep checking on her ever 30 minutes. She's moving around a lot. I think she might be having nightmares. I can hear her trying to scream, but it's as if she still has that duck tape over her mouth. I'm hoping she will fall into a deeper sleep and actually get some good rest she needs it after this horrific week."

I hear her pause for a short time allowing Jerry his turn to talk.

"I hope so Jerry. I don't like seeing her like this."

She pauses for a long moment and I almost think the conversation ended before hearing her voice again. This time her voice was raised slightly, like she was mad at something Jerry has said.

"Why would you call Sam to come here? Don't you think he put her that situation to begin with? He left her on her own to check out that freaking locker Jerry! This is partly this fault! Nixon wouldn't have gotten his hands on Andy had Sam had his partners back, but no Andy got hurt and he wasn't there to save her. In fact, Luke had to! You know that guy that was a cheating ass?"

Traci's voice started to rise a little bit more towards the end of her small monologue, trying to defend her point of view of the whole situation to Jerry, her boyfriend or whatever he is to her.

"No, don't go there Jerry! Sam should have been there end of story, even if she's constantly stabbing a knife in his heart because of this whole Luke thing. News flash, she allowed to have her moments right now jerry. Her fiancée just cheated on her with that whore of a detective Jo."

I heard Traci sigh, and being to back down, knowing that Jerry only meant well.

"Ok Jerry, sorry I'm just a little protective of her right now. I know what she's going through. "

"I'll talk to you later then. Tell everyone I said hey and have fun at the penny."

The slap of a phone on the kitchen counter surface told me Traci had hung up. I waited a few minutes and didn't hear Traci go back to her bedroom, so I sat up and looked over to the kitchen and saw her back to me. I knew she was just as sleepy as me so I quietly laid back down, trying to drift back off into a light sleep. Thinking of what all Traci had said about Sam.

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Waking up some time later to someone yelling at me, I wonder what happened and why I had that person yelling at me at who knows what time of night.

"ANDY WAKE UP!" I hear a loud voice and then the shaking started.

I open my eyes to see Traci sitting next to me with a scared look on her face. Her eyes darting around me making sure I was ok.

"OH Thank God!" Traci says and then quickly wraps her arms around me.

"Traci, what's going on? Why are you yelling at me?" I say once it catches up with me what all just went on and I wrap my arms around her to hug back.

"You don't know what you were doing?" she looks at me with a confused look on her face after she pulls back from our hug.

"No?"

"Andy you were screaming out. I'm assuming you had another nightmare. I'm pretty sure you've been having them all night. "

I look over at the clock on the table and see its one in the morning.

"I didn't even realize I was screaming out. I mean I know I was having a nightmare. I've been having them all night long."

Traci moved up to sit next to me and I rested my head on her shoulder, letting the tears fall from my brown eyes once again.

" Shhhhh Andy. You'll get through this. Do you want me to call your dad?"

I shake my head telling her no. He was on that sobriety cruse and I really didn't want to interrupt his fun when he can't do anything about the situation.

"Is there anyone I can call that will make these go away?"

I know there is one person who could help the nightmares go away but I was to cowardly to call him. Sam was the only one who would be able to make me forget Ray Nixon and help me get some sleep.

Even though I know Sam would be able to help make the nightmares go away like he did the night of the blackout, my ego is too big to let me be able to call him. I close my eyes and shake my head no to Traci, taking deep breaths to relax my body.

I feel myself slowly slipping into a sleepy state of mind when I hear my lips betray my brain and let him name slip of my tongue and mumble into Traci's shirt.

Sam

That name, his name, becoming a reoccurring theme tonight in my mind and nightmares that I can't seem to get rid of.

In all honesty his name was becoming a reoccurring theme in life period.

The last thing I know, I feel Traci moving me to lay back down on the pillows and her walking away. My fingers were crossed that she was not leaving to call Sam because I don't know if I could handle talking or seeing him right now, not with all my emotions so raw and on the surface.

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"Andy, I need you walk up for me. I need to talk to you."

I hear this and wake up, and realize it was just a dream. I see Traci sitting on the chair beside the couch, watching over me her lips not moving. I glance at the clock and see only 30 minutes have past, and its one thirty in the morning.

Sighing I roll over to look at Traci and she just stairs at me before saying the last thing I wanted to hear.

"You need to call Sam Andy. I can only do so much for you. Sam is the one you need, it's time to take him out of the freezer, and get him off ice. Defrost your feelings Andy. They will guide you to what you need right now. I know this is cliché but follow you heart girl, even if it's a little broken right now."

With those last words she gets up hands me my phone and walks back to her room. I hear her door click shut and I look down at my phone debating my options.

How mad would Traci get if I didn't call him? I know she's right but I just don't think I can call him. Calling him would be to admit that yes I do need him, like I've always did and just pushed away.

Would he even pick up if he saw it was me calling so late? I don't know if he would. I would hope he would. He always says he is there for me, but he let me down today. I got into a bad situation because he didn't have my back.

Feeling something wet hit my hand I realize it is tear drops. I bring my free hand up to my face and brush the tears away, felling stupid for crying again today for what felt like the hundredth time.

Am I willing to bring those feeling back to the surface after having to bury them for so long? That was a question I didn't have the answer to. I don't know if I'm willing to bring those feeling forward. I'm even more afraid of my heart getting hurt now more than ever. We all have Luke to thank for that.

I lay back down attempting to sleep some more, but knowing the attempt will be futile. I close my eyes and I am once again transported back to the storage locker, back to my own personal hell. I start to wallow in my own self pity for a short moment, before wrenching myself out of that and just thinking about that last question.

Rolling over 15 minutes later I notice it is 2:30, 45 minutes have past and I finally made a decision. I finally answered that finally question.

I pick up my phone and press 2 on my speed dial.

After 3 rings I hear the sleepy voice answer.

"Hey, are you ok? You've never called this late before."

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Author note 2: Well there is the first part. I wasn't going to make this a multiple part story but it kind of made up its own mind and grew a lot bigger than I thought it was going to be. I should hopefully have the next part up with a few days, max a week. I may make it longer than 2 parts depending on how well it is responded to. Hope you enjoyed and reviews will make my type faster :D