De-aging Frenzy

Snape entered the office of Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, wrinkles of hatred deforming his already deformed face, greasy hair covered in splatters of pink paint, and body covered in…

"Severus! Why are you wearing nothing but a tutu?"

"Headmaster, with all due respect, I don't think it's really necessary for me to answer that question. However, I can tell you that potions class was a disaster and I am in need of your assistance."

"Sure, why not? What seems to be the problem?"

"Tell me, professor, do you have any experience handling children?"

As Snape led Dumbledore through the corridors, ear-deafening sounds of screaming, glass shattering, high pitched laughter, collapsing of random furniture and explosions echoed around them. Finally, they reached the Potions classroom. Dumbledore's eyes widened in what seemed to be awe at the sight that lay before his eyes; bottles of potions broken and laying all over the floor, paint splattered on the walls, curtains ripped off from their rightful places, tables and chairs overturned, Snape's books torn (and chewed) to shreds and basically, like Snape had mentioned earlier, it was a disaster. But what fascinated the old wizard most was that the classroom was full of little kids running around and wrecking everything in sight. God, you would have assumed a wild beast had caused all of this, but children? Seriously?

"Severus, where did all these little um…little angels…come from?"

Snape restlessly plucked up a squirming black haired boy from under a shelf of potion bottles and shoved him into Dumbledore's arms, "does this little angel look familiar to you? Perhaps he's a certain favourite student of yours?"

Dumbledore simply stared at the 3 year old child who stared back and soon began pounding his little fists against Dumbledore's chest. Snape rolled his eyes, "In case you still haven't got a clue, notice that he's wearing a goofy pair of round glasses and has a lightning scar which seems to have given him some sort of reputation HINT, HINT…"

Still no reaction from Dumbledore. 15 seconds later…

"Oh my god! It's Harry freaking Potter!" Dumbledore screamed and dropped the boy on the ground. He immediately started running off into the distance, eventually joined by a bushy haired girl and a freckle-faced redhead. "Ah, so this is what's happening here…The students were all hit by a de-aging potion somehow. Hmm, I need to remember to reduce Snape's salary for this."

"I believe you understand what has occurred, headmaster. Therefore I have summoned you here to take care of the kids while I work on an antidote potion. Fortunately I only have a sad amount of 8 students in my class this year. I seem to recall that you are very fond of children, am I right?"

"Yes uh...but well…I never thought I'd have to face a situation like-"

"Good! Now that that's settled, I'll be getting to work now. Good luck, Headmaster."

Watching the silhouette of Snape prancing off into the distance, Dumbledore closed the door and turned to face the mess that lay before him. This was going to be hard…

(DUMBLEDORE'S POV)

I cast a spell to make a large baby cot appear at the back of the classroom, now all I have to do is somehow shove all the 3 year olds in there and most of my work would be done! But I recall that Severus had mentioned to me before that when magic is performed on victims of de-aging potions, it would lengthen the time that they remained that age, and oh god I don't think my poor old heart can take it if that should happen…

Damn, I can't levitate them into the cot, so I guess I'll just have to manually grab them and put them in. I move towards my nearest target, the redhead, who was making footprints with the pink paint on the table. He notices me and backs away. "Mr. Weasley, it's me, Professor Dumbledore, your faaaaavourite headmaster! Come here and I'll give you a chocolate frog," I force a wide grin on my face. Ron, upon hearing the words 'chocolate' and 'frog' put together immediately jumped into my arms and searched my beard for a hidden chocolate frog. Immediately, I sprint towards the cot and dump him in. One down, nine to go.

Aha! Longbottom jumping on the couch! I grab him and throw him into the cot as well. That was too easy. Now let's see who else is ready to be put behind bars… And then I spot little Cho Chang covered entirely in pink paint, I move towards her and she immediately camouflages herself among the 'newly painted' pink furniture. Crap, I can't see her. Damn the eyes of the elderly. I hate being old. Period.

Now I'm moving towards a trio of slytherins. I repeat my procedure of stepping carefully towards them, but suddenly, the fat one starts charging at me! "Wha-No! No! No!" I run away as the other two slytherins speed after me as well. The taller one threw the little blond one at me and he hit my head, causing me to fall. Damn these kids...-AH! Who gave me a wedgie? Then I see young Draco Malfoy squatting in front of me and he starts marching around on my initially impeccably white beard. "MALFOY, YOU DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE FART! ONE MILLION POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN!" Draco gulped and rolled across the beard one last time before running away with his fellow delinquents.

I dust my clothes and groom my beard for a few seconds before proceeding to capture my favourite student, maybe he would give me an easier time. Harry, as if hearing my thoughts, galloped towards me shouting, "Dumbo-door wook at Harry horsie! Harry is faster than you!" And he runs away again, but not without throwing a fistful of pink paint right smack in the middle of my face, splattering my surrounding facial hair as well…That explains Severus' pink hair… Oh god, I feel his pain.

After rubbing my eyes, I look around me and notice the remaining kids; little horsie Harry, pink Cho Chang, fat Crabbe, 'tall' Goyle and evil Draco surrounding me in a circle, all holding out buckets of pink paint 'where the hell did they get those from?' and Harry holding out a familiar pink tutu which I had seen several minutes ago on someone else… Ok, I'm scared now…

"Now, now, kids. You're in a school, you're in MY school, if you DARE try anything funny with Headmaster Dumbledore here…I'm gonna…I'm gonna…OH HELL I'M GONNA CRY!"

(LITTLE HARRY'S POV)

Harry not sadistic or anything but Harry think it funny if old men cry so…"ATTACK!"

Immediately all my wittle fwens start hurling pink balls of paint at poor old dumbo-door, so I proceed to puuuulllllllll off his clothes and repwace them wif a pwetty pink tutu so dumbo-door can teach us ballet! Yay!

(DUMBLEDORE'S POV)

Paint was thrown onto me at me from all possible directions and hit all possible areas. Ouch, did someone just hit my…? CRAP! WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?

"YAY!" the children cheer. I swear I have had enough of this, I'm just going to levitate them into the cot, I don't care anymore, it's going to be Severus' responsibility again. I'm washing my hands clean off this babysitting business!

"Hey!" I hear a voice and look down to find little Draco glaring at me. "Why aren't you crying yet?" And then I hear other little voices going "yeah we need more paint!" "Maybe he needs some makeup!" "I think we should get him a bra…"

That'.…

"WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!" I bellow, as I lift all the whining kids into the air and fling them into the cot, where they all burst into tears, shouting at me in their ridiculous baby language. I strut towards them smirking, "not so tough when you're put behind bars are ya? Well, BOO HOO to you! So howdya like THAT Potter, Weasley, Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Chang, Longbottom and…Granger?"

Shit. Where's Granger…

I edge towards a couple of suspicious-looking fallen furniture, gently calling out, "Miss Granger? Where are you?" Then I hear a soft chuckle behind me, I reach for me wand- oh no…where's my wand…

I turn my focus towards the cot, and see something I most certainly don't want to see; Granger holding my wand, pointing at the cot, with all her fellow 3 year old pests smirking at me. Now, I'm starting to panic, this is not good at all. If it was Weasley holding my wand, I wouldn't be so worried. But it's GRANGER, the SMART ONE.

"Miss Granger, give me my wand…"

She then raises the wand.
"No, don't do that…If you set them all free again, Miss Granger, I am going to kick your diapered little-"

BOOOOOOOOOM!

I blink as the mist of dust clouds begin to fade. The first thing I see is my cot in pieces, and the eight little monsters grinning at me devilishly, freed from their prison cell. Just then, Severus opens the door, notices my failed attempt at trying to contain the kids in a cot, as well as my wand in Hermione Granger's hand.

"Severus, I've had enough of this. I thought I caught all of them, but then, Granger caught me by surprise…"

Snape looked around in amazement.

"Wow, headmaster. Déjà vu. That is EXACTLY what happened to me."

… -_-

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